Author warning: This review may contain lots of hate and negative feelings towards a certain car. If you're somewhat sensible, avoid this at all costs. Thank you.
Eco-Nonsense: Toyota Prius G '09
Meet my pet hate of GT5, the horribly bad Toyota Prius. A car with several reasons to hate, and none to love. This piece of s... I mean, this car in question is the '09 version, with Premium status. Like this thing deserves such treatment...
Ok, so let's start with the looks.... Eh... Yeah, it looks like something that is not interesting. At all. That can be a problem too. This thing is designed by a man that knows nothing about car design that looks good. It's shaped like the roof ornament of that Beer building in Tokyo, except that one is a tourist attraction, unlike this car. All for the sake of being "Ecological"... A stupid grill, a stupid middle, and a stupid rear end. That is the basics you should know about the Prius. A lot of "aerodynamic" goes into the rear, which in turn makes the rear look like it was sliced in half. And the front has a covered grill, which makes the car lighter and uglier. And then you realize that a Macca MP4 player has better aerodynamics.
So, here we are at the High Speed Ring, to see how bad is the driving of this gruesome lie. Now, I want to tell you something. I don't want to brag, but I have driven just about everything there is to drive in the GT world. I was gobsmacked by the monster that is the R34 GT-R. I drifted mad Alpines. I cringed at the madness of the Cerbera Speed-12. I laughed at the bonkers Espace F1. I also drove small Kei-cars like the Honda Beat, and underrated sedans like the Nissan Primera 2.0. Good and bad cars, on equal terms. But nothing drives as bad as this car.
So, what is the worst thing in Prius "driving"? It's not the CVT gearbox, that requires zero effort from the driver, which leads to boring X-button mashing. It's not the horrendus "sound" that comes out the exhaust. Wait, I can't call this sound, it's audio pain! A constant drone sound that makes you wish this thing had one of those car sound thingies that make your small car sound like an Aston. (You know, speaking of which, I could be driving a DB9 now instead of this heap...) It's the corner handling.
Allow me to demonstrate. Now, I'm approaching the first corner after the banking, at 190 KM\H. Yes, this puny eco piece of junk can hit 190. I'm as shocked as you are. So, since this thing is so damm slow, it should be a piece of cake driving around this corner, right?
After all, it doesn't pack much power. A huge heavy battery makes sure that the car wastes a lot of energy, but no fuel. And then, when you try to pick up "speed", a small fuel engine tries to bore you to death. And that in turn amps up the car's weight, which sure helps in driving...
Wrong. Very wrong. This car is a horror movie on wheels. It has automatic oversteer, which means you will be struggling to drive 'round a track without working your steering like a pro-wrestler. You know what this reminds me of? Tokyo Xtreme Racer 3. Why? Because this car handles like it had soap bars for wheels. It just keeps on slipping! I can't drive through the racing line without traveling at 30 Km\h. And that is as bad as I put it.
Here is another example of the horrible handling. The S corners, a type of corner that any other can do with ease. Even a Macca F1 caused me less troubles than this heap!
Ok, now, we are going to have a race. You see, there is another problem with this car, the price. At 25.xxx credits, it’s not even cheap. Let’s just make a quick list of cars cheaper than this. All the Kei cars, the old Nissan Silvia, the FC RX-7, the Civic Type R. And when you can pick between a Prius and a Type-R, which one you pick?
… Thought so.
Either way, let's put this car to the test. Against another Toyota! The brand new Yaris\Vitz, more exactly. This example, however, is "modded", as in, it has a huge turbo and a outrageous paintjob. The Yaris is the cheapest Premium Toyota, but how does it stack up against the Prius?
So, the two cars are prepared to go. The Yaris fires up the big turbo, while the Prius makes no sound whatsoever. But maybe the electric motor can give it a edge. I mean, didn't that give the Porsche 911 Hybrid a race victory? Well, the drivers are ready, so here we go!
And we're off! Notice how the Prius actually can outrun the Yaris. It seems that the huge turbo is not yet working! The Prius may have a chance!
Ah, well, the Yaris is getting away a bit. But it's not over yet!
But disaster! The Yaris driver appears to be drunk! Oh, what a problem! This is a great chance for the Prius!
Er... The Prius's horrible handling is getting in the way of a victory. But it's way too early to call it a day.
Ouch, that is a bad entry line for the Yaris. Maybe now it's the time for the Eco-box to prove its worth.
And the Prius screws up again. Well, there are a few corners left, maybe...
Hey, the Prius is in attack distance! Perhaps now the powerful fuel engine can give the Prius the edge here!
But the Yaris picks up speed. Oh, what a bad place for the Prius to be in... It's over now.
So, there you go. This thing, unlike a R35, deserves to be hated. Because unlike a R35, this thing has no redeeming qualities. And it's not even eco. A diesel will cost you less and will polute less. The money you spend in this does not compensate the CO2 you save. So, you can pick this, a Fiat 500, a Honda Insight or a Spoon CR-Z. You know which one I pick... Now, where did I put my CR-Z keys?
Quick shout out to my brah Onboy for driving the Prius in the Duel. Cheers, man.
:tup:
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Suspension technology is much, much better with new cars... even for a Prius 
