Great thread. I've been wanting to get in on this one for a while. My turn
The Audi R8
All right now!
Clarkson’s already had his grubby mitts all over this one and come away loving it. The staff is hoping for an unbiased review. Since Clarkson’s mostly useless in that regard, it’s my turn behind the wheel.
To get the supercar feel just right, you need just the right bit of lunacy, torture, stupidity, sex... Now where do German Engineering and Audi, for that matter, fit into that mix?
Hmmm. Nowhere, actually.
First the styling; flamboyance and sensuality you ask? No, not really. Insanity, perhaps? Um… No. Total excess that your comrades would never approve of? No. There’s just the Audi family nose and a curious amount of front overhang.
It’s easy to take a quick glance and dismiss the R8 as little more than a stretched TT with the engine out back. But look closer. The design is solid as granite, understated and quietly aggressive. How very German…
When I drive, I want something raw and brutal, so that when all the traction control and electro stability gobbly-gook is switched off, I can thrash about the track, and provided I survive, go home knowing that I broke in a stallion; fought a raging bull. It’s man over beast for our day. And that begs the question, how does the R8 actually drive?
I took her out to Suzuka Circuit for a run. The track has a reputation for putting braggarts and idiots in their place, especially the ones driving the supercars. Muck up your lines, come into a corner too hot or try to get out with too heavy a foot and you’ll end up boot-first in the gravel. Perfect!
Running full trot out on the straights, I’m not impressed. The acceleration is there in spades certainly, but the car feels out of steam long before the first corner. And the engine note is… curious. While that V8 bellow will put hair on your chest, it’s covered up mostly by a whine that’s reminiscent of a blender.
Into the first corner, I’m expecting Audi Quattro understeer. It’s present but completely muted. The rest of the first section is coming up now—time for the idiot test. Off the throttle going into turn two: oversteer and a perfect line. I’m not dead, brilliant!
The R8’s response to brutal (stupid) driving is remarkable. The mechanical grip and mid-corner speed is frightening. Mash the throttle mid-turn and the car stays planted. You just get a dollop of acceleration and a hint of understeer that can be corrected with a lift or jab of the gas.
The driving experience is just so accessible. Look at this; I’m doing a four-wheel drift! And I just made an F430 look slow in the twisty bits… Glorious! So the R8 is queen of the corner. How about the brakes? Great stability, unholy stopping power; yes!
Today, everyone is afraid that heaps of computers, gadgets and airbags are draining the soul out of the driving experience and leaving us to drive lumps of dead weight. The fears are founded. A lot of cars are insolated and just too easy to drive. And that's being kind. Most of them are colossal bores.
The Audi R8 comes from the new generation of computer cars. Instead of killing me outright for my arrogance, the car eggs me on to run another lap on the edge. It tempts me to go back and get those two tenths I lost God-knows-where. At every point the car tells me what it's doing, and I know, I feel, exactly how it needs to be driven.
Yes, the R8 is too easy to drive—and I don’t like being reminded that I’m a less than stellar driver, but you know what? I don’t care. And I’m afraid I’m going to prove that I’m just as useless as Clarkson here. Clarkson said the R8 experience was akin to smearing honey “in” Keira Knightley. I thought that description was just a questionable misuse of a preposition and Clarkson just being Clarkson; however now, I understand. And I have to agree with him.
Though I’m not sure I’d call it a supercar, the R8 is a machine with a soul, a masterpiece.
Now if only it were 200 kilos lighter and had 100 extra horsepower…