What a glorious day. Any other day was merely that. A day compared to what I was in for, on this, the day of reckoning. You may be wondering what the hell I am on about and rightly so because frankly, I have told you nothing. But thats about to change.
You see, about 5 months ago I was the proud new owner of an FPV F6 Typhoon. Key word, WAS. I only had the beautiful machine for 2 days when the clowns at FPV called me up to tell me of a production error, some garbage about the clutch giving way under certain conditions. After much distress on my behalf and them coming and picking it up I was 46000 credits worse off. With no car. Sure they left me with a nice XR8, but I wanted my F6.
And today, 5 months later and its here. Sitting on my driveway, a brand new winter white F6. The lads at FPV were so nice, they even fitted a sports exhuast on it - no charge!! I opened the door to take a seat in the cockpit to find a piece of paper on the passengers side. Hmm.. what the..? After picking it up I realised it was a dyno sheet. "378 hp, not bad" I said aloud. - The sports exhuast had achieved a nice little gain in power. Before I could even turn the key I heard my neighbour - Dougs garage door spring open. "Oh man.. here we go..: I think to myself. " Hey Tom, not bad..." Doug says trailing off. I know there's more to come.
But you'll need more than that 6 with a snail on it to beat this" He motions inside to his garage knowing full well that I've seen whats inside for the last 3 weeks.
He proudly pats the bonnet of his Holden CV8 monaro, seemingly oblivious to the fact that not only do I make more power, but also significantly more torque. I have a sneaking suspicion that Doug was brought up believing that God himself drives a V8. "I think your wrong there Doug" I say back, hoping, praying that he challenges me to a bit of a neighbourhood drag.
"See this car, Its 5.7 litres of pure Aussie V8, no rice turbo engine in a Ford will beat that" he gloats with startling ignorance. "actually Doug, thats an American LS III chev motor, this ones Australian.." His smile quickly turns sour. "Alright, we'll race the strip" he says dryly. Excellent.
The strip is a long straight road just a few minutes away. Its 2 lanes either way has various declines and rises and is about 1 mile in length. We pull up next to each other, both of us winding down our windows, him smiling like the moron he is and me, acting cool, calm and collected. On the short drive to the strip Doug had floored it, leaving me behind, and nearly cleaning up a fence in an unintentional drift. I had taken it easy, letting my turboed beauty warm up a little.
"Here we are Tom, no backing down now" he revs his engine loudly, sure it sounds nice, but he's in for a shock. "After you" I gesture. He laughs out loud thinking I have signed my own death certificate. We both rev our engines, I await his movement eagerly, yearning to finally do what I've been destined to do since that day, 5 months ago.
He launches. I'm right next to him, my reaction time very good. His V8 roars into life, the sound of the very earth itslef being ripped at the seams. I am still next to him. This beautiful 4.0 litre straight six surges with turbo fed power and I snap second utilizing my brand new bullet-proof clutch to thrust a bonnets length in front. From here its childs play as I continue to pull away convincingly. The smile on my face; cheek to cheek.
I'm back at my house giving my beloved vehicle a polish whilst Doug mopes around under the hood of his, trying to find some excuse for his thrashing. "Never underestimate the power of a turbo Doug" I holler over the fence. "Yeah, yeah, whatever.." is the reply from my defeated neighbour. "But you'd never catch me in one of thos rice mobiles, all plastic, no balls" his one eyedness is really quite profound. I know just how potent some japanese performance cars can be, Supras, WRx's, Evos, Skylines they are all strong performers. But secretly I think to myself.. I reckon I could take em....
I wake up the next morning and look out my window to drool over my destroyer, only to see a strange, short asian looking man standing on my lawn taking a photograph of it. OK, this is wierd, I'm heading out there. I fling the door open and leap from my porch in only my underpants, the asian man suddenly looks very nervous. "Hey, what are you doing!?" I yell out. He smiles and waves "Hello!, I am Grant!" Grant..? thats not a very asian name i think to myself. He's dressed in a tidy black suit with a name badge. -Mr. Urismo- Hmm.. that sounds a bit more foreign. "Can I help you?" I inquire "Yes, I am the youngest of 4 brothers heavily involved in world wide racing events, I specifically am in charge of a race series involving Turbo cars from around the world, and this is Australias only factory built turbo model!!" he is getting very excitied now. "So, what, you just want to take some photographs of it" i ask " No sir, I want to fly you and your car around the world to face fierce opposition!!" I immediately like the sound of this but then I realise I will be up against the very cars I secretly thought I could defeat. WRX's, RX 7's Skylines.. who knows what I could come up against..
Its at this point Im glad I wore my brown underpants if you catch my drift. "OK, Ill do it."
2 days later and we are at the Fuji speedway. My car is on the grid (for some reason I got the rough end of the stick and I have to start from 6th in every race!!) I am really tense. Starting in 6th place in bad enough, but my competition is even worse! The grid for the 1st race lines up as follows:
1. Buick GNX '87
2. WRX Sti ver VI 99
3. RX-7 Bathurst R 01
4. Eclipse GT 95
5. GTR Vspec II nur 02
6. me...
Being an Aussie I dont know much about the Buck and the Eclipse. But what I know of the other 3 has got me wishing I had packed my brown undies. Also, all the drivers have fancy drivers suits, I'm just wearing my tracksuit pants and a singlet..
Quicker than I would have liked we are in the cars and ready to race. 2 laps, not much time to get used to a car that I havent even driven hard through corners with. Naturally I turn the TCS and ASM off and get ready for business.
We get off the line and the GTR shoots away to my right. No Suprise. I pull up next to the eclipse, then out of nowhere he pulls a car length in front of me. Amazing. I pass him inder brakes through the first long right handed U turn and try to chase down the skyline. I gain minimal ground through the next few bends till I see an opportunity at the hard left coming down from the crest. The buick looks to be slowing down the RX7 and the skyline as all 3 slowly manouvre the bend. The WRX is shooting away in 1st. I move up the inside and use torque to edge my way past the GTR on the exit of the corner. Im not pulling away though and I have to cover my tracks to keep him from passing. As soon as we hit the straight, he is all over me but I somehow hold him off. I pull away slightly during the 2nd lap but Im not making up enough ground on the GNX to get above 4th. Although I am quicker than the GTR through the bends, by the end of the straight at the begginning of lap 3 he is on my tail again.Coming on to the straight at the end of the last lap I think I have 4 th sewn up until, ZOOOM!!
the GTR whips past me with a mere second to go. 5th Bummer.
After the 1st race Mr Urismo can see I am clearly dissapointed. "Oh.., dont worry.. they - big exhaust, many modification, you start from 6th, you need modification too!!" with this he points to a crate containing a FPV racing chip, and Racing intercooler. I agree.
After Dynoing the F6 it achieved 412hp and we are ready to rock in tokyo. The grid for Tokyo:
1. Esprit 87 Turbo HC
2. Buick GNX
3. GTR V Spec II nur 02
4. RX-7 Bathurst R
5. Peugot 205 turbo 16 '85
I am left behind from the standing start but catch up at the first left hander. Im on the RX7 early and overtake him, then the Buick in consecutive left turns. Down through the twisty road the little 205 shows incredible speed to pull away but I catch him through a series of long corners towards the end of the lap. On the straight its an all out dog fight between the 205, RX7, GNX and me. Im good under brakesso I make up the position I lost to the zippy 205 on the straight. During the 2nd and final lap I pull away and try to gain on the GTR who is in 2nd to a flying esprit. On the 2nd last corner I pass through to see the esprit on the right hand wall facing the wrong way. Good for me I figure, its a 2 lap race with the straight to go. The Skyline wins convincingly by over 4 seconds, but hey 2nd place. Im Happy.
Mr Urismo looks happy as well, but then again he's always happy unless Im running and yelling whilst wearing only underpants. He walks up to me, "Your Car, too heavy, My men, they rip out some things. Make it lighter" Your the boss Mr Urismo.
The next race was to take place at high speed ring.
1.Esprit
2. GNX
3. 205
4. Focus RS
5. SC300
Quickly Im in 3rd place already benefiting form the weight loss, next I take the GNX and over the next lap I finally get the demon 205. Theres no catching the esprit though and I finish about 1.5 seconds behind him after a strong last lap.
2nd again.
After a flight to America I was lined up to race in New York, and hungry for my first race win. I figured I might have a chance, no GTR, no Esprit, there is a Bathurst though...
1. GNX
2. Bathurst
3. 205
4. RX7 infini III
5. 3000 GT VR-4
So again we did the rubber dance. And what a dog of a dance it was. Not for first place mind you, Oh no the bathurst took care of that little discrepency. For 3 laps the infini III the 205 and my poor bloated F6 fought like hungry bums at a bakers back door for 2nd. Back and Forth up and Down, it was a 3 way battle from hell. With only the two right angled right handers to go on the final lap, I ducked inside the infini III to grab 2nd, ran a little wide and pulled onto the straight to find myself dead even with the 205! He had followed me up the inside of the infini III, leaving the RX7 just behind us. I then proceeded to cover my ass as the 205 literally flew away to grab 2nd. As for me.. 3rd.
Disgruntled, hungry and sick of seeing cars making my F6 look like a sack of sand with wheels conveniently placed on each corner, I approached Mr Urismo. "look, I've had enough Grant. I wanna go back to Australia where all I have to race is Dougs CV8 coupe" after a momentary look of confusion Mr Urismo got the picture. "Ahh.. ok Mr Vale, that is fine, I fly you back tomorrow" "I appreciate that very much" i said before heading back to my hotel.
On the plane ride home I could not stop thinking about the way that little 205 had slaughtered my big turbo I6. A '85 renault decimated me. I drew many conclusions to my poor track peformance, mostly related to the overly tall gearing and weight and partially to my somewhat lack of any real driving ability. I then thought of the tears I would now bring to poor Dougs eyes the next time we raced. I got off the plane and headed home, knowing my car was being delivered the next day.
I was awoken in the morning by the sound of a large truck pulling up out the front. Gingerly I walked out to sign the delivery receipt. "Delivery, 2 vehicles" send the sphere-like delivery driver. "2 vehicles?, nah, theres only 1" I said "Well, there's 2 now" he said. I walked round the back of the trailer and peered in. There was my F6, in all its shame, but behind it was another vehicle under a silver cover. I walked in and noticed a big envelope on the bonnet of the mystery car, attached to the silver sheeting. I opened it up to find an invitation to the Euro Hot Hatch League, "From Mr. Urismo" "Hot Hatch league..?" I mumbled aloud. Quicky I then grabbed the sheeting and ripped it away exposing,
an immaculate Peugot 205 turbo 16!!!
Your the Boss Mr Urismo..
but thats another story.
Hope you enjoyed.
-tom
You see, about 5 months ago I was the proud new owner of an FPV F6 Typhoon. Key word, WAS. I only had the beautiful machine for 2 days when the clowns at FPV called me up to tell me of a production error, some garbage about the clutch giving way under certain conditions. After much distress on my behalf and them coming and picking it up I was 46000 credits worse off. With no car. Sure they left me with a nice XR8, but I wanted my F6.
And today, 5 months later and its here. Sitting on my driveway, a brand new winter white F6. The lads at FPV were so nice, they even fitted a sports exhuast on it - no charge!! I opened the door to take a seat in the cockpit to find a piece of paper on the passengers side. Hmm.. what the..? After picking it up I realised it was a dyno sheet. "378 hp, not bad" I said aloud. - The sports exhuast had achieved a nice little gain in power. Before I could even turn the key I heard my neighbour - Dougs garage door spring open. "Oh man.. here we go..: I think to myself. " Hey Tom, not bad..." Doug says trailing off. I know there's more to come.
But you'll need more than that 6 with a snail on it to beat this" He motions inside to his garage knowing full well that I've seen whats inside for the last 3 weeks.
He proudly pats the bonnet of his Holden CV8 monaro, seemingly oblivious to the fact that not only do I make more power, but also significantly more torque. I have a sneaking suspicion that Doug was brought up believing that God himself drives a V8. "I think your wrong there Doug" I say back, hoping, praying that he challenges me to a bit of a neighbourhood drag.
"See this car, Its 5.7 litres of pure Aussie V8, no rice turbo engine in a Ford will beat that" he gloats with startling ignorance. "actually Doug, thats an American LS III chev motor, this ones Australian.." His smile quickly turns sour. "Alright, we'll race the strip" he says dryly. Excellent.
The strip is a long straight road just a few minutes away. Its 2 lanes either way has various declines and rises and is about 1 mile in length. We pull up next to each other, both of us winding down our windows, him smiling like the moron he is and me, acting cool, calm and collected. On the short drive to the strip Doug had floored it, leaving me behind, and nearly cleaning up a fence in an unintentional drift. I had taken it easy, letting my turboed beauty warm up a little.
"Here we are Tom, no backing down now" he revs his engine loudly, sure it sounds nice, but he's in for a shock. "After you" I gesture. He laughs out loud thinking I have signed my own death certificate. We both rev our engines, I await his movement eagerly, yearning to finally do what I've been destined to do since that day, 5 months ago.
He launches. I'm right next to him, my reaction time very good. His V8 roars into life, the sound of the very earth itslef being ripped at the seams. I am still next to him. This beautiful 4.0 litre straight six surges with turbo fed power and I snap second utilizing my brand new bullet-proof clutch to thrust a bonnets length in front. From here its childs play as I continue to pull away convincingly. The smile on my face; cheek to cheek.
I'm back at my house giving my beloved vehicle a polish whilst Doug mopes around under the hood of his, trying to find some excuse for his thrashing. "Never underestimate the power of a turbo Doug" I holler over the fence. "Yeah, yeah, whatever.." is the reply from my defeated neighbour. "But you'd never catch me in one of thos rice mobiles, all plastic, no balls" his one eyedness is really quite profound. I know just how potent some japanese performance cars can be, Supras, WRx's, Evos, Skylines they are all strong performers. But secretly I think to myself.. I reckon I could take em....
I wake up the next morning and look out my window to drool over my destroyer, only to see a strange, short asian looking man standing on my lawn taking a photograph of it. OK, this is wierd, I'm heading out there. I fling the door open and leap from my porch in only my underpants, the asian man suddenly looks very nervous. "Hey, what are you doing!?" I yell out. He smiles and waves "Hello!, I am Grant!" Grant..? thats not a very asian name i think to myself. He's dressed in a tidy black suit with a name badge. -Mr. Urismo- Hmm.. that sounds a bit more foreign. "Can I help you?" I inquire "Yes, I am the youngest of 4 brothers heavily involved in world wide racing events, I specifically am in charge of a race series involving Turbo cars from around the world, and this is Australias only factory built turbo model!!" he is getting very excitied now. "So, what, you just want to take some photographs of it" i ask " No sir, I want to fly you and your car around the world to face fierce opposition!!" I immediately like the sound of this but then I realise I will be up against the very cars I secretly thought I could defeat. WRX's, RX 7's Skylines.. who knows what I could come up against..
Its at this point Im glad I wore my brown underpants if you catch my drift. "OK, Ill do it."
2 days later and we are at the Fuji speedway. My car is on the grid (for some reason I got the rough end of the stick and I have to start from 6th in every race!!) I am really tense. Starting in 6th place in bad enough, but my competition is even worse! The grid for the 1st race lines up as follows:
1. Buick GNX '87
2. WRX Sti ver VI 99
3. RX-7 Bathurst R 01
4. Eclipse GT 95
5. GTR Vspec II nur 02
6. me...
Being an Aussie I dont know much about the Buck and the Eclipse. But what I know of the other 3 has got me wishing I had packed my brown undies. Also, all the drivers have fancy drivers suits, I'm just wearing my tracksuit pants and a singlet..
Quicker than I would have liked we are in the cars and ready to race. 2 laps, not much time to get used to a car that I havent even driven hard through corners with. Naturally I turn the TCS and ASM off and get ready for business.
We get off the line and the GTR shoots away to my right. No Suprise. I pull up next to the eclipse, then out of nowhere he pulls a car length in front of me. Amazing. I pass him inder brakes through the first long right handed U turn and try to chase down the skyline. I gain minimal ground through the next few bends till I see an opportunity at the hard left coming down from the crest. The buick looks to be slowing down the RX7 and the skyline as all 3 slowly manouvre the bend. The WRX is shooting away in 1st. I move up the inside and use torque to edge my way past the GTR on the exit of the corner. Im not pulling away though and I have to cover my tracks to keep him from passing. As soon as we hit the straight, he is all over me but I somehow hold him off. I pull away slightly during the 2nd lap but Im not making up enough ground on the GNX to get above 4th. Although I am quicker than the GTR through the bends, by the end of the straight at the begginning of lap 3 he is on my tail again.Coming on to the straight at the end of the last lap I think I have 4 th sewn up until, ZOOOM!!
the GTR whips past me with a mere second to go. 5th Bummer.
After the 1st race Mr Urismo can see I am clearly dissapointed. "Oh.., dont worry.. they - big exhaust, many modification, you start from 6th, you need modification too!!" with this he points to a crate containing a FPV racing chip, and Racing intercooler. I agree.
After Dynoing the F6 it achieved 412hp and we are ready to rock in tokyo. The grid for Tokyo:
1. Esprit 87 Turbo HC
2. Buick GNX
3. GTR V Spec II nur 02
4. RX-7 Bathurst R
5. Peugot 205 turbo 16 '85
I am left behind from the standing start but catch up at the first left hander. Im on the RX7 early and overtake him, then the Buick in consecutive left turns. Down through the twisty road the little 205 shows incredible speed to pull away but I catch him through a series of long corners towards the end of the lap. On the straight its an all out dog fight between the 205, RX7, GNX and me. Im good under brakesso I make up the position I lost to the zippy 205 on the straight. During the 2nd and final lap I pull away and try to gain on the GTR who is in 2nd to a flying esprit. On the 2nd last corner I pass through to see the esprit on the right hand wall facing the wrong way. Good for me I figure, its a 2 lap race with the straight to go. The Skyline wins convincingly by over 4 seconds, but hey 2nd place. Im Happy.
Mr Urismo looks happy as well, but then again he's always happy unless Im running and yelling whilst wearing only underpants. He walks up to me, "Your Car, too heavy, My men, they rip out some things. Make it lighter" Your the boss Mr Urismo.
The next race was to take place at high speed ring.
1.Esprit
2. GNX
3. 205
4. Focus RS
5. SC300
Quickly Im in 3rd place already benefiting form the weight loss, next I take the GNX and over the next lap I finally get the demon 205. Theres no catching the esprit though and I finish about 1.5 seconds behind him after a strong last lap.
2nd again.
After a flight to America I was lined up to race in New York, and hungry for my first race win. I figured I might have a chance, no GTR, no Esprit, there is a Bathurst though...
1. GNX
2. Bathurst
3. 205
4. RX7 infini III
5. 3000 GT VR-4
So again we did the rubber dance. And what a dog of a dance it was. Not for first place mind you, Oh no the bathurst took care of that little discrepency. For 3 laps the infini III the 205 and my poor bloated F6 fought like hungry bums at a bakers back door for 2nd. Back and Forth up and Down, it was a 3 way battle from hell. With only the two right angled right handers to go on the final lap, I ducked inside the infini III to grab 2nd, ran a little wide and pulled onto the straight to find myself dead even with the 205! He had followed me up the inside of the infini III, leaving the RX7 just behind us. I then proceeded to cover my ass as the 205 literally flew away to grab 2nd. As for me.. 3rd.
Disgruntled, hungry and sick of seeing cars making my F6 look like a sack of sand with wheels conveniently placed on each corner, I approached Mr Urismo. "look, I've had enough Grant. I wanna go back to Australia where all I have to race is Dougs CV8 coupe" after a momentary look of confusion Mr Urismo got the picture. "Ahh.. ok Mr Vale, that is fine, I fly you back tomorrow" "I appreciate that very much" i said before heading back to my hotel.
On the plane ride home I could not stop thinking about the way that little 205 had slaughtered my big turbo I6. A '85 renault decimated me. I drew many conclusions to my poor track peformance, mostly related to the overly tall gearing and weight and partially to my somewhat lack of any real driving ability. I then thought of the tears I would now bring to poor Dougs eyes the next time we raced. I got off the plane and headed home, knowing my car was being delivered the next day.
I was awoken in the morning by the sound of a large truck pulling up out the front. Gingerly I walked out to sign the delivery receipt. "Delivery, 2 vehicles" send the sphere-like delivery driver. "2 vehicles?, nah, theres only 1" I said "Well, there's 2 now" he said. I walked round the back of the trailer and peered in. There was my F6, in all its shame, but behind it was another vehicle under a silver cover. I walked in and noticed a big envelope on the bonnet of the mystery car, attached to the silver sheeting. I opened it up to find an invitation to the Euro Hot Hatch League, "From Mr. Urismo" "Hot Hatch league..?" I mumbled aloud. Quicky I then grabbed the sheeting and ripped it away exposing,
an immaculate Peugot 205 turbo 16!!!
Your the Boss Mr Urismo..
but thats another story.
Hope you enjoyed.
-tom
