baaa baa ba baaa, bum bum baaaa: We interrupt this newscast for a special report
Cyborg Hijinks presents:
Interview with a Diabolic
Tonights Topic: The senseless butchering of horses
......
"...and so that concludes our conversation on breaking in cars for S.N.A.I.L.. Next, we head over to the research desk for a visit with Diabolic whose been digging up some rather interesting information.... Diabolic?
"Yes, I'm here."
"So, it appears you've made an interesting discovery?"
"Indeed. It appears that many moon ago, in a distant time, perhaps as far back as two, three, seven months ago, it's hard to know for sure, that the members of S.N.A.I.L. had discussions about topics related to today's breaking (pun intended) story."
"And was there a resolution at those time?"
"Of course, what do you think this is, the National Hockey League? (insert phony reporter laugh)
"You were saying Diabolic?"
"My apologies. Someone dressed as a
Smurf just came in and offered us all watermelon. We figured it an opportunity to not let pass. Anyway, the research staff and I found
Everything about the subject written by it's own members"
"So, you're saying all the answers to questions, all the things anyone could possibly know were there all along??"
"YES!"
"Was it hidden? Did you have to obtain it unlawfully? Actually, Diabolic, I'm being asked to retract that statement....So how long did it take the staff to locate it?"
"Well, it was looking impossible until we found the
source of it all. We thought about keeping it to ourselves, but this kind of information deserves to be seen by all. It's all.... publicized online!"
"Really?"
"Yep. It's all there, on one website AND and it's pretty easy to navigate. We've asked the station to run the site name onscreen after we're through here so folks should get ready!"
"So, if the information is all out there for people, why are we having to discuss it?
"Well, let me put it to you this way. I read an interesting post on the website and I'd like to share it with you now."
Walking through the crowded parking lot, Diabolic notices several large heaps covered with canvas. Leading up to each were lines of people, patiently waiting their turns. He pulls side a local...
"What's going on here?"
"We're kicking 'em!"
"What are they?"
"Dead horses."
(Looks at nearest heap)
"Dead horses...really? If they're dead, why are you kicking them?"
"Well....I mean......
you know...we gotta make sure."
(Diabolic heads to nearest heap and gives it a swift kick)
"See, what I mean? We have to be absolutely sure. At any moment they may spring to life and trample us. Very dangerous, these beasts."
"Uh huh...I see....
"
(Diabolic turns and head out of the lot)
A split second later Rusty, a horse 42 years dead, springs to life, whooping and bucking his way around the lot. Diabolic, now a ways from the afair, noted it with a gentle "hmmph" and continued on mumbling quietly to himself, "Ok..but I still don't get it."
The Amazing Insider Tip
THE END