- 74
- Nordschleifistan
- GTRP_Nilpferd
- GTRP_Lukenwolf
O Hai,
Since I ran out of things to do in A-Spec, I started a new game, to try something new - a GT5 fanfic....
text in italics are either dramaturgical annotations or thoughts of a character (appropriately coloured)
in minor roles:
Wolfgang Stumph as Mr. Boltz
Dirk Bielefeld as Herr Holm
road works on the Autobahn, near Cologne...
Polizeiobermeister Holm and his apprentice colleague sit bored in their police mobile watching a relatively empty Autobahn, when a roar disturbes the silence...
Hoof it! Chase him down!
The two rozzers in their asthmatic Opel Astra finally manage to overtake the offender and flash the "follow me" sign. On a nearby service station they confront him
uh,oh (winds down window)
Good afternoon, Holm's my name. Can I please see your documents?
Sure thing, Sir
Hm... so... Mr. Schnellinger, do we know how fast that just was, hm?
(enthusiastic)Yeah, not bad for a 10 year old rice box, innit? Goes like stink the lil bugger and I didn't even have time to... (His girlfriend Nadya rams her elbow into his ribcage to stop him)
So... Looks like we have a bit of a comedian here. You were driving at a speed of 150kph. After subtracting the tolerance, that leaves exceeding the speed limit in a road works area by 80 kph. I'll have to revoke your license, immediately
You can't be serious, Sir!
Do I look like joking, hm? (walks off with the documents to do the paper work)
(srcastic)Congrats, Einstein! Guess you'll learn to appreciate the Services of Deutsche Bahn (a/n German Railways).
(cop returns after 10 minutes)
So... Your license has been revoked until further notice. Do you have a driving license, ma'am?
I do, Sir
Then I suggest you take over, as your companion here won't be driving any time soon. Have a nice day. (hands over documents sans driving license, salutes and walks off)
a year later...
Nadya parks her car in the town of Ahrweiler and while she and Kevin get out, both notice a figure, watching them from behind a curtain in a nearby building.
Dammit, just this shrink attesting that I'm not a window-licking idiot and I'll finally have my license back! (a/n: In Germany every driver, who has been banned for a major traffic offense has to go through a psychological examination, before he gets his license back. This examination is called the "idiots test" in Germany)
You sure that you're going to pass? (giggles)
Stop mocking me, woman. Come on, I want my license back.
inside the psychologists office, test almost complete
So, Mr. Schnellinger...
So what, doc? I'm not a blithering idiot, am I?
Ahem, ...of course not. I've seen you and your female companion arrive and judging by your choice of car, I suppose you like to drive... let's say... dynamically.
(defensive)No, no, it's my girlfriends car. And what do you mean by 'choice of car'? It's just a little japanese runabout...
Mr. Schnellinger! I may be a psychologist, but you're not the only petrolhead in this room. I know a Swift sport from a vanilla Swift. And if it is your girlfriends car, maybe we should call her in?
Why? She didn't have her license revoked.
Of course not, but this isn't part of the test. See it as a bit of a friendly advise from a fellow petrolhead.
Ookay... (leaves to get Nadya)
a little later...
This is an old acquaintance of mine. He's a retired street and track racer and may help you to explore the potential of your cars in better ways than busting speed limits. (hands over a business card with a small photo on it)
Kevin stares at the photo, then at Nadya
Is something the matter, Mr. Schnellinger?
Um, err, Sir, you said he's retired...
Yes?
I can sort of see that, but, err, he looks like his first car was a chariot...
Kevin!
Ok, ok, Benz Motorwagen... the prototype.
May I suggest that you don't favour Mr. Kraft to your peculiar sense of humour, Mr. Schnellinger? He's a bit touchy about his age.
(ironic)Imagine that...
a small mansion in the german countryside...
(whistles)Whatever Methusalix raced, it must have paid a pretty penny. Quite a house, this.
Remember what Boltz told us, leave your silly digs out of it. I don't want you to muck this up.
Jeez, chill darling, I'm not gonna do anything stupid. (rings the bell)
The door opens and an old man with white messed up hair appears.
Aah, you must be the young people that Mr. Boltz told me about. Come in...
Thank you
Thank you
I'm Manfred, but I prefer to be called Manny
This is my girlfriend Nadeshda.
Call me Nadya, please (shakes Manny's hand)
And I'm Kevin
So, I suppose you want to race?
Of course, Nadya would like, too. She's quite quick... for a girl (Nadya slaps his arm)
Follow me...
Nadya and Kevin follow the old man into the library, where a lot of maps, books and thick files are scattered on a big wooden table.
There is an international organization called GranTurismo Corp. They've been organizing races for decades to entertain rich customers from all over the world.
So, some sort of underground racing organization?
No, No, everything is legal. Think of them as a private FIA. Only they don't hide that it is all about the money.
But then, why has no one ever heard of them?
Because they don't need to do advertising. The retired drivers bring it enough fresh drivers. If their existence was widely known, they'd be overrun by boyracers from all over the world.
But what sets us apart from the other boyracers?
Nothing, young lady. Your friend here, will have to go though a very taxing series of tests before he even gets a shot at the easiest of A-League races, while you will have it way easier. Fresh blood for B-League has always been in short supply. If you manage to stay on the black stuff you'll be in.
B-LEAGUE ?!?!
(pained expression)uh, oh...
B-League?!?! You think I'm not good enough for A?
Darling, chill out! Let him explain...
I'm really sorry young lady, I didn't mean to imply that you are inferior, but GranTurismo does not allow men and women to race together.
What is this? 1865?
Frankly, it is. You have to keep in mind that they are a global organization and many of the wealthiest bigwigs are people from regions where 'emancipation' is not part of everydays vocabulary. If it is any consolation. B-League is in no way an inferior series. The races are longer and quite often much harder contested.
*hmpf*
So, are you still interested?
Yes! So what about these tests?
Go to this office in Bern. (hands over a business card) Give them my card to prove that I sent you and they'll tell you what to do.
Whohoo, we're going racing, darling!
so Kevin flies from Pontius to Pilatus all over the world and in a harsh series of training courses and demanding tests he learns...
... how to tackle challenging tracks in old cars
...how to brake properly
...how to fight in the pack
...and how to race with his bum hanging inches from the ground
the home of Kevin and Nadya. Loud diesel engine noises can be heard from outside...
Oh goody, Einstein broke is car again and comes back on the plateau of an ADAC truck...(goes to the window and stops dead in her tracks)
I'll be damned!!
... to be continued...
Since I ran out of things to do in A-Spec, I started a new game, to try something new - a GT5 fanfic....
text in italics are either dramaturgical annotations or thoughts of a character (appropriately coloured)
Apricot Hill 90210
starring
Constantin von Jascheroff as Kevin "Pistensau" Schnellinger
Yevgenia Malahova as Nadeshda "Race Babe" Kuznetzova
Johannes Heesters as Manny Kraft
Prologue: Legal Speeding
starring
Constantin von Jascheroff as Kevin "Pistensau" Schnellinger
Yevgenia Malahova as Nadeshda "Race Babe" Kuznetzova
Johannes Heesters as Manny Kraft
in minor roles:
Wolfgang Stumph as Mr. Boltz
Dirk Bielefeld as Herr Holm
***
road works on the Autobahn, near Cologne...
Polizeiobermeister Holm and his apprentice colleague sit bored in their police mobile watching a relatively empty Autobahn, when a roar disturbes the silence...
Hoof it! Chase him down!
The two rozzers in their asthmatic Opel Astra finally manage to overtake the offender and flash the "follow me" sign. On a nearby service station they confront him
uh,oh (winds down window)
Good afternoon, Holm's my name. Can I please see your documents?
Sure thing, Sir
Hm... so... Mr. Schnellinger, do we know how fast that just was, hm?
(enthusiastic)Yeah, not bad for a 10 year old rice box, innit? Goes like stink the lil bugger and I didn't even have time to... (His girlfriend Nadya rams her elbow into his ribcage to stop him)
So... Looks like we have a bit of a comedian here. You were driving at a speed of 150kph. After subtracting the tolerance, that leaves exceeding the speed limit in a road works area by 80 kph. I'll have to revoke your license, immediately
You can't be serious, Sir!
Do I look like joking, hm? (walks off with the documents to do the paper work)
(srcastic)Congrats, Einstein! Guess you'll learn to appreciate the Services of Deutsche Bahn (a/n German Railways).
(cop returns after 10 minutes)
So... Your license has been revoked until further notice. Do you have a driving license, ma'am?
I do, Sir
Then I suggest you take over, as your companion here won't be driving any time soon. Have a nice day. (hands over documents sans driving license, salutes and walks off)
a year later...
Dammit, just this shrink attesting that I'm not a window-licking idiot and I'll finally have my license back! (a/n: In Germany every driver, who has been banned for a major traffic offense has to go through a psychological examination, before he gets his license back. This examination is called the "idiots test" in Germany)
You sure that you're going to pass? (giggles)
Stop mocking me, woman. Come on, I want my license back.
inside the psychologists office, test almost complete
So, Mr. Schnellinger...
So what, doc? I'm not a blithering idiot, am I?
Ahem, ...of course not. I've seen you and your female companion arrive and judging by your choice of car, I suppose you like to drive... let's say... dynamically.
(defensive)No, no, it's my girlfriends car. And what do you mean by 'choice of car'? It's just a little japanese runabout...
Mr. Schnellinger! I may be a psychologist, but you're not the only petrolhead in this room. I know a Swift sport from a vanilla Swift. And if it is your girlfriends car, maybe we should call her in?
Why? She didn't have her license revoked.
Of course not, but this isn't part of the test. See it as a bit of a friendly advise from a fellow petrolhead.
Ookay... (leaves to get Nadya)
a little later...
This is an old acquaintance of mine. He's a retired street and track racer and may help you to explore the potential of your cars in better ways than busting speed limits. (hands over a business card with a small photo on it)
Kevin stares at the photo, then at Nadya
Is something the matter, Mr. Schnellinger?
Um, err, Sir, you said he's retired...
Yes?
I can sort of see that, but, err, he looks like his first car was a chariot...
Kevin!
Ok, ok, Benz Motorwagen... the prototype.
May I suggest that you don't favour Mr. Kraft to your peculiar sense of humour, Mr. Schnellinger? He's a bit touchy about his age.
(ironic)Imagine that...
a small mansion in the german countryside...
(whistles)Whatever Methusalix raced, it must have paid a pretty penny. Quite a house, this.
Remember what Boltz told us, leave your silly digs out of it. I don't want you to muck this up.
Jeez, chill darling, I'm not gonna do anything stupid. (rings the bell)
The door opens and an old man with white messed up hair appears.
Aah, you must be the young people that Mr. Boltz told me about. Come in...
Thank you
Thank you
I'm Manfred, but I prefer to be called Manny
This is my girlfriend Nadeshda.
Call me Nadya, please (shakes Manny's hand)
And I'm Kevin
So, I suppose you want to race?
Of course, Nadya would like, too. She's quite quick... for a girl (Nadya slaps his arm)
Follow me...
Nadya and Kevin follow the old man into the library, where a lot of maps, books and thick files are scattered on a big wooden table.
There is an international organization called GranTurismo Corp. They've been organizing races for decades to entertain rich customers from all over the world.
So, some sort of underground racing organization?
No, No, everything is legal. Think of them as a private FIA. Only they don't hide that it is all about the money.
But then, why has no one ever heard of them?
Because they don't need to do advertising. The retired drivers bring it enough fresh drivers. If their existence was widely known, they'd be overrun by boyracers from all over the world.
But what sets us apart from the other boyracers?
Nothing, young lady. Your friend here, will have to go though a very taxing series of tests before he even gets a shot at the easiest of A-League races, while you will have it way easier. Fresh blood for B-League has always been in short supply. If you manage to stay on the black stuff you'll be in.
B-LEAGUE ?!?!
(pained expression)uh, oh...
*dramatic freeze frame*
*fade to black*
credits: Eian Flannigan of Triaxian Silk
*fade to black*
credits: Eian Flannigan of Triaxian Silk
B-League?!?! You think I'm not good enough for A?
Darling, chill out! Let him explain...
I'm really sorry young lady, I didn't mean to imply that you are inferior, but GranTurismo does not allow men and women to race together.
What is this? 1865?
Frankly, it is. You have to keep in mind that they are a global organization and many of the wealthiest bigwigs are people from regions where 'emancipation' is not part of everydays vocabulary. If it is any consolation. B-League is in no way an inferior series. The races are longer and quite often much harder contested.
*hmpf*
So, are you still interested?
Yes! So what about these tests?
Go to this office in Bern. (hands over a business card) Give them my card to prove that I sent you and they'll tell you what to do.
Whohoo, we're going racing, darling!
*wild sequence of scenes*
so Kevin flies from Pontius to Pilatus all over the world and in a harsh series of training courses and demanding tests he learns...
... how to tackle challenging tracks in old cars
...how to brake properly
...how to fight in the pack
...and how to race with his bum hanging inches from the ground
the home of Kevin and Nadya. Loud diesel engine noises can be heard from outside...
Oh goody, Einstein broke is car again and comes back on the plateau of an ADAC truck...(goes to the window and stops dead in her tracks)
I'll be damned!!
... to be continued...
Keep it up!
