- 43
- minivanman714
After a recent trip to Europe, I managed to score an Audi 2003 LeMans Quattro. Well, I shouldn't say "score", as it seems Audi is practically giving these cars away. Odd, I thought as it was a car that put Audi on the racing map again, and is the precursor to their much praised R8 flagship car.
Well, getting it home, I can see why Audi didn't want this particular car in the hands of 50 something men, experiencing their mid-life crisis'. Pretuned, from the factory, this car is borderline suicidal. How many of those 50 somethings would be taking headers off the PCH (Pacific Coast Highway) with their hot, Viagra commercial, wife barking at them to slow down, before the car got pulled off the market anyway?
Probably no question as to why the production version boasts about 200 less horsepower.
Well, it's a car bred for racing, so into the shop it goes. Long painstaking process, and while the boys and me will do an occasional Vette, or other high performance car, most tuning is to the tune of 20 somethings with disposable income trying to eke out 2-3 more horsepower from their Dodge Neon.
So, what do you do when you get a car like this in your hands? Why, you gut it of course. Out comes the interior, and out comes the engine. Want to know what makes your engine sing? Only one way. Take it apart. Then in the truest spirit of American redneckness, we'll make it better. All those years of engineering classes in college made me an expert at one thing. Taking things apart. Putting them back together is another course structure, and I just couldn't afford any more student loans. I'll figure it out along the way.
Engine is gutted, interior is gutted. Now, it's time to start from scratch. A rebalancing of the engine, and a compression modification, and we managed to eke out about 100 extra ponies. If we manage to get this car under control, we'll add a couple of turbos. Gutting the interior saved us a few hundred pounds. YES, POUNDS, as in, "LBS". Our scales don't have kilograms, so deal with it. (Well actually they do, but I'm just being difficult). For the most part, they kept the car very lean when they built it.
Now, I'm a firm believer in the engineering creed of "if it ain't broke, fix it till it is". So, why on Earth would you add an extra 100 hp to a car that you can barely keep on the road as it is? Well, I don't have a good answer. We'll address that later.
Out to the test track and the car is frightening. It's fast. Just hope you don't have to stop. If you have to stop and actually turn the thing, just jump out. It'll be safer. Regardless of how fast you're going.
This bad boy is going to need suspension before that engine lets loose and rockets through the back of my skull. This car obviously did not get the suspension package they raced with. The front springs are WAY too soft and all the weight in the back wants to fly forward when you hit the brakes. When you turn, all the weight wants to swing out wide. Brake and turn? You're just screwed.
Having never tuned an AWD, mid-engined car, it was time to learn. Tweak, test, tweak, test, and so on. After weeks of white knuckling the steering wheel, this car is a BLAST to drive.
This is a race car. This car does not want to babied. In fact, it'll just mumble and gurgle unhappily if you do. If you let loose, you'll be rewarded with a roaring "WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE" coming from the engine and tires as this car screams around corners, tracks into the straightaway and launches it's attack. You can still feel the weight of the engine behind you, but it's better used as a weapon against your rivals than a suicidal death machine. You need that engine to stay put, it'll stay put. You need it to swing out and provide much needed oversteer because you were texting and racing and didn't see the turn coming up? It'll do it. It's forgiving of mistakes, but brutal against stupidity. Be stupid, it'll hurt you. Make a mistake, and it forgives, like a good friend.
Anyway, since Audi is giving these things away, I thought I'd share my tuning experience so no others end up in a ditch, or worse, doing a header off the PCH. Of course we added the turbos in the end to a resounding 870 hp. In my best Southern accent, all I can say is "HEY Y'ALL, WATCH THIS!!!".
Audi LeMans Quattro '03
Fully modded at the tuning shop. If you can buy it, I put it on it (or took it off for the weight reduction).
You can't adjust aero for this thing. Such a shame.
Transmission: 217
LSD Settings
Front: 5 / 10 / 12
Rear: 5 / 20 / 13
Torque: 50 / 50
Ride Height: -20 / -20
Spring Rate: 14.7 / 13.3
Extension: 7 / 6
Compression: 6 / 6
Anti-Roll: 5 / 5
Camber: 1.7 / 1.7
Toe: -0.26 / 0.07
Brake Balance: 6 / 7
Enjoy. Takes a bit to get used to how hard you can actually push it.
*Update*
Okay, after a few "Hey Y'all watch this" moments in the "Green Hell", I've decided to loosen up the suspension a bit. New values.
Transmission: 249
Rate: 13.0 / 9.5
Ext: 6 / 5
Comp: 5 / 5
Anti-Roll: 4 / 4
Was kind of like a rabid cat with a nervous twitch. Now it's not nearly as twitchy. Smoking fast though.
Well, getting it home, I can see why Audi didn't want this particular car in the hands of 50 something men, experiencing their mid-life crisis'. Pretuned, from the factory, this car is borderline suicidal. How many of those 50 somethings would be taking headers off the PCH (Pacific Coast Highway) with their hot, Viagra commercial, wife barking at them to slow down, before the car got pulled off the market anyway?
Probably no question as to why the production version boasts about 200 less horsepower.
Well, it's a car bred for racing, so into the shop it goes. Long painstaking process, and while the boys and me will do an occasional Vette, or other high performance car, most tuning is to the tune of 20 somethings with disposable income trying to eke out 2-3 more horsepower from their Dodge Neon.
So, what do you do when you get a car like this in your hands? Why, you gut it of course. Out comes the interior, and out comes the engine. Want to know what makes your engine sing? Only one way. Take it apart. Then in the truest spirit of American redneckness, we'll make it better. All those years of engineering classes in college made me an expert at one thing. Taking things apart. Putting them back together is another course structure, and I just couldn't afford any more student loans. I'll figure it out along the way.
Engine is gutted, interior is gutted. Now, it's time to start from scratch. A rebalancing of the engine, and a compression modification, and we managed to eke out about 100 extra ponies. If we manage to get this car under control, we'll add a couple of turbos. Gutting the interior saved us a few hundred pounds. YES, POUNDS, as in, "LBS". Our scales don't have kilograms, so deal with it. (Well actually they do, but I'm just being difficult). For the most part, they kept the car very lean when they built it.
Now, I'm a firm believer in the engineering creed of "if it ain't broke, fix it till it is". So, why on Earth would you add an extra 100 hp to a car that you can barely keep on the road as it is? Well, I don't have a good answer. We'll address that later.
Out to the test track and the car is frightening. It's fast. Just hope you don't have to stop. If you have to stop and actually turn the thing, just jump out. It'll be safer. Regardless of how fast you're going.
This bad boy is going to need suspension before that engine lets loose and rockets through the back of my skull. This car obviously did not get the suspension package they raced with. The front springs are WAY too soft and all the weight in the back wants to fly forward when you hit the brakes. When you turn, all the weight wants to swing out wide. Brake and turn? You're just screwed.
Having never tuned an AWD, mid-engined car, it was time to learn. Tweak, test, tweak, test, and so on. After weeks of white knuckling the steering wheel, this car is a BLAST to drive.
This is a race car. This car does not want to babied. In fact, it'll just mumble and gurgle unhappily if you do. If you let loose, you'll be rewarded with a roaring "WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE" coming from the engine and tires as this car screams around corners, tracks into the straightaway and launches it's attack. You can still feel the weight of the engine behind you, but it's better used as a weapon against your rivals than a suicidal death machine. You need that engine to stay put, it'll stay put. You need it to swing out and provide much needed oversteer because you were texting and racing and didn't see the turn coming up? It'll do it. It's forgiving of mistakes, but brutal against stupidity. Be stupid, it'll hurt you. Make a mistake, and it forgives, like a good friend.
Anyway, since Audi is giving these things away, I thought I'd share my tuning experience so no others end up in a ditch, or worse, doing a header off the PCH. Of course we added the turbos in the end to a resounding 870 hp. In my best Southern accent, all I can say is "HEY Y'ALL, WATCH THIS!!!".
Audi LeMans Quattro '03
Fully modded at the tuning shop. If you can buy it, I put it on it (or took it off for the weight reduction).
You can't adjust aero for this thing. Such a shame.
Transmission: 217
LSD Settings
Front: 5 / 10 / 12
Rear: 5 / 20 / 13
Torque: 50 / 50
Ride Height: -20 / -20
Spring Rate: 14.7 / 13.3
Extension: 7 / 6
Compression: 6 / 6
Anti-Roll: 5 / 5
Camber: 1.7 / 1.7
Toe: -0.26 / 0.07
Brake Balance: 6 / 7
Enjoy. Takes a bit to get used to how hard you can actually push it.
*Update*
Okay, after a few "Hey Y'all watch this" moments in the "Green Hell", I've decided to loosen up the suspension a bit. New values.
Transmission: 249
Rate: 13.0 / 9.5
Ext: 6 / 5
Comp: 5 / 5
Anti-Roll: 4 / 4
Was kind of like a rabid cat with a nervous twitch. Now it's not nearly as twitchy. Smoking fast though.
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), and Laguna just exposes this weakness on the opening straight and that nasty uphill/downhill chicane. 
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