SPD Writes Car Of The Week: Week 37 - Big boi jamboree!
This week, we have 3 cross country monsters. That means..
3 writeups, definitely cut down.
3 times with the XRAID MINI on these track.. just notably a treat for me.
3 reviews. I'll cover as much as possible, but I can't promise a good time.. I mean, best run, not the time with the car. One might be a new Mark of Zen, after all..
Okay, let's get going.
Vehicle 1: Mercedes-Benz Unimog U5023
And now: the sole representation of Forza's BIG in full shoutycaps. I wonder what kind of smoke were they having a sniff in when they thought this can compete with supercars.
Of all the cars we can call a safari, the Unimog's most definitely the elephant in the room. Born as Mercedes' way of saying they need a heavy duty off-roading machine, the Unimog started off as part of Daimler-Benz, sold under the Mercedes name until 1951. One thing I quite like researching this mammoth is that the car's name is an acronym, coming from the words:
Universal-
Motor-
Gerat”. If my German memory serves, this means universal motor device. Okay, not exactly hard, and I did have to look up 'gerat'. To be honest, the words that I know mainly in that language aside from cars come from Downfall parodies.
While it's made for industrial and agricultural purposes after the 2nd world war, one can say the Unimog's original intent was to be a heavy duty truck that's both more road worthy and faster than the usual tractor. But despite it's big bed at the back and the clearance it's got, it's not better when it comes to how much load it can carry compared to the usual heavy load truck.
The Unimog would go around this disadvantage, and develop over time their abilities to travel in harsh terrain and off-road situations. I'm no German, but I can think of Unimogs coming in as a semi-staple in German day to day activities and emergencies. Things like fire fighting, military, rail train maintenance (yes, it's also a train, choo choo), forest rangers, snow ploughs, construction, and.. what's this? Racing? Oh yes, it's got racing history too. And the competitions vary, but they come together as the kind of racing you see for this size of machine: down and dirty. It even competed and won in Dakar, twice.
And all this versatility means one can order a Unimog and spec it to such a specific way. In fact, with it's persistent presence that beats even the original MINI, the Unimog has a museum that showcases its past in Gaggenau.
But now let's go to this iteration of the Unimog, known as the U5023. Powered by a 5.1-liter, turbocharged four-cylinder diesel, the 7 ton monster is carried by 230 horsepower and a whopping 663 foot pounds of torque. And if high numbers seems to be it's specialty, it's got both an 8 speed automatic and a 6 speed reverse. It's for off-road climbing, not for specific speeds for specific turns on the circuit.
And the tires are on a league of its own. Aside from being able to bring 7 tons around, it has a variable setting.. something we don't use here in Horizon. It's for different terrain so it can get through them without the need of getting out yourself and swapping the tires. Settings include for road, mild and rough terrain. Despite looking something so stone age, this thing is chock full of tech.
And if we head into games.. umm.. Forza Horizon 4 and 5 only?? I do recall that Asphalt sidegame Asphalt Xtreme having one, being a U4023. But nothing else? I guess nobody wants to drive this kind of truck around in the virtual realm. If I had the chance to use one in real life, I would! Could be an interesting experience. Destruction, strife and chaos might be just by the rear view, however.
Just like putting it in the ocean, the Unimog sinks to the bottom of the PI scale, with a rating of 103. And with such a value, the first thing anyone does to their Unimog is swap it with the 2400hp Iron Knight 6 cylinder turbo diesel. Speaking of the Iron Knight, with it being MIA, the only cars we have in the Trucks class would be the Unimog and the Tankpool24 Racing Truck. I can't comment on this madness, or why it's still here when the former can fit okay in Pickups & 4X4s.
Similarly in its debut game of Horizon 4, the Unimog still remains a popular choice for tuners and artists, and will only set you back 100,000 credits from the Autoshow. I'm having a look at the Auction House, and prices look at the value of 88,000 credits for least, and 110,000 credits for most common. It's a wonder how I have 2. One's stock, with the other tuned for A-class road, with the Iron Knight engine. The other is a dull case of grey, now repainted in Spectraflame Pink.
I know you're looking at me with intent, and no, I must conform to Test rules. Maybe I'll include this road going Unimog to the gigantic Showcase I plan to get working with.
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To make marks like Godzilla on the seafloor, the Unimog has to travel through the rough and tough of Copper Canyon Cross Country.
So, ever since the Countryman got nominated, it got the SPD focus. Now I need to put it aside and get out the recurring X-RAID Countryman. I have a feeling DIO is ready to yoink this car too, but at least I won't be considerably roused when that happens.
"An intense Cross Country route that bounds along the bottom of Copper Canyon, over road, river, and even the railway! Let nothing stand in your way as you conquer this difficult terrain."
The game already has the words that you want to be something dominant, so I guess kudos to the delegation of the track and car choice.. we're driving the car version of a T-pose. Only that the T-pose is rated super duper low.
What I can see is that this track is full of wide turns, wide banked turns, and a river. So I hope you're driving something with clearance and weight. And power too, or else Unimog is the only answer.
Far as I'm concerned, at least the train doesn't spawn in this track. Or else we might see 2 unstoppable machines collide, possibly creating an alternate universe where Project Gotham Racing is Horizon..
If you do have a controllable offroading monster, you're bound for a great time. There are places where they want to stop you, but learning the track's the way that's not going to happen.
The only issue I have is that we're really at the bottom for performance, so there's probably not much to say. But past me has mentioned a need for testing this car's big dick energy for plowing through foliage and obstacles. Well? How's about it? It's time to show off that big di-wait, is there a filter for this? Umm.. Big dirt! Yes. Dirt.
- I guess it's a Mercedes thing with this truck and the G Wagen when it comes to
how the interior is modern for something so terribly classic. There's a button for anything, and while it's not a semi-truck's set of buttons, it's close enough to warrant a comparison. When are we getting the Tankpool24 in COTW? I don't plan to be the one that does it.
- If we're launching this thing with this AWD combined with this minimal rating of weight and power.. I say.. I shouldn't even make a paragraph for it. It has 8 gears, and the car will theoretically top out at 55. There's not even any case of grip loss. And shift? I guess you can shift anytime near or in the redline, because.. next point.
- The gearing is bad for racing. So, in any car you go from 1st to 2nd to 3rd, you know, your usual daily activity. In the Unimog, due to the straw narrow width of 2nd to 4th, I suggest you go 1st, then jump straight to 5th, then you do your normal daily activity. However, while the suggestion to go auto is a thing, I remain in manual so I can control the turning and uphill momentum. In fact, I remain in 7th and 8th the entire run.
- Of course if you're carrying 7 tons with this much power, your acceleration going uphill suffers, and it's quite the opposite going downhill. You're going to reach speeds up to 90 MPH, and it would seem it's the perfect time to test out things like braking and handling. Both of these are good. Not good enough, but still good to be on something this large.
- A quick note: after 20 seconds, I swapped to the interior camera, which is the camera view I exclusively use in other racers.. some others I resort to the cockpit view, and I can say I'm that kind of dude that's confidently competitive in cockpit view. The thing is so huge, they didn't bother putting another specially made view for racing it kind of ticks me the wrong way.
- If you think the Unimog is going to be a handful to drive, you'd be quite wrong. So wrong, in fact, that it makes you wonder if carrying a lot of weight is hard. It is, but not when it's both distributed well, and managed by something with great balance overall. The only time I find myself sliding around with it is when I'm intentionally doing it.
- Just like a cameraman in the beginning of a super slow drag race, you're bound to jump the gun on many things with this car's pace. And since I usually have issue racing S1 around here, those issues do not need to be noted when in the Unimog, because I can see it coming.
- There's so little to mention with the car, and so we go to the track. When it comes to the track's preference with car choice, anything heavy is good since there are portions with mandatory obstacle breakage. The Unimog is gifted with the power to smash and plow. But if it's avoidable, that's still preferred, unless you're getting skill points. You lose 1 MPH in the Unimog, and at this level of performance, it's quite big.
- The tunnel has probably going to be the place that screws anyone up, because it's a tunnel, the Unimog be big, and the tunnel exit still is a piece of shrimp. Lucky with such poor pace, it's not an issue because you can see it coming.
- So I am cutting down this week's writeups due to having 3 SEPERATE CARS, but the final advice for me riding the Unimog is to... find the best line. Yes, and the car's best line comes from not the generated driving line, but use your eyes and find the elevation changes. Avoid uphill paths, and go for downhill ones. And even though you got the big dick energy, I suggest you save it so that your kinetic energy remains at tip top shape.
Remember the week with the M5? The one that I hate so much, even though the car's a great Sleeper? This is inching close to that. Lucky enough, it's due to the combination rather than an individual element. I only have 2 runs, and 3 and a half minutes really is stretching it. What? I said The Juggernaut's coming, right? It might be, but I don't plan on giving that track to something this slow.
My national service with a Unimog comes with a best time of
3:26.620.
As Deadpool once thought of when Cable is giving the nitty gritty plot details in his own game, it's so boring. Like I said: kids are cruel, Jack. And I'm very in touch with my inner child. Wait, how'd that Sundowner come about. Is it okay if I say his most memetastic line before getting back in line? Okay.
I'M [BLEEP]ING INVINCIBLE!!
But like I said: it's due to the combo being poor. I love both the car and track individually. The ultimate canvas, and a rowdy case of cross country rumbling. I mean, if they outlaw swapping in general, I don't know how people are ever going to use the Unimog. And to credit my random mention of Metal Gear Rising, the Unimog does make you feel invincible, actually.
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Vehicle 2: Spark ODYSSEY 21
No words required, just shock and awe.
As the owner of a Honda Odyssey (an RB3, so yeah I own a VTEC), the Extreme E's base model, actually named as the ODYSSEY in full caps, has me sparking with joy, despite being related in name only. But being the future of off-road racing means this machine has taken various liberties to keep that name in check. And they did.
Let's see what's what: state of the art energy storage and hydrogen cell tech by Williams, a niobium steel alloy frame, Continental Tyres radials made out of dandelions. While I want to believe running on flowerbeds was the main contributor, it was the niobium reinforced steel that would literally make or break the car. Compared to steel, it was both lighter and stronger. And not just that: it also provides the safety.
Not only does the tech work for the inside, but on the outside, we get a machine that can withstand the elements. The numbers speak out like 550 hp bringing a 1780 KG body, which is made from sustainable flax fibres. And verily: the more I look up the history of these cars, the more I find myself truly intrigued. Just like how a certain MINI Countryman has entered the radar for me to buy one for real.
All variants of the ODYSSEY 21 carry a PI of 748 PI. Aside their own, the ODYSSEY 21 will have to face down certain other dirty monsters in its class, with the exact same PI as Brocky: a certified Sleeper in this department. The main difference is that the Extreme E is electric, and it's a good chance to see how fine they will run compared to the likes of an off-road tuned Taycan or i-Pace.
Right now, the Chip Ganassi car can be bought in the Autoshow for 700,000 credits, and the others being stars on this season's Festival Playlist. I for one am into getting the X44, the McLaren one, and also the Andretti one, for looks reasons.
For reasons too obvious, there isn't any in the Auction House and it's so new, me having a duplicate of the 9 unbuyable ones would mean I'm a cheater, and I'm not, so buzz off. The one for testing would have to be the Chip Ganassi one, and thus it's also where all the tuning and liveries be at.
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Out of cross country and into a dirt event, we head to La Selva Scramble to see the degree of one Extreme E taking the nurtured elements.
After leaping out a gorge to a valley with a river, guess what else we get into: more rivers! But we got tropical fauna to contend with. At least this and the ODYSSEY would be the right kind of car for the job if joy is the main objective.
"This scramble is split between a high-speed run on asphalt, and a gruelling dirt section splashing through the waterways of the Cascadas de Agua Azul."
You know, looking at the water, I wondered when are we going to touch on Mangrove Scramble. Sorry, just putting that out.
Now here's a dirt event with speed as a focus, but handling isn't left out of the equation for the perfect lap solution. It's also quite bumpy, that I feel it's better you bring something large once again.
While the asphalt is present, it's not detrimental to the whole experience. Split by 90 degrees turns, the challenge comes in the dirt, and not because of the dirt, but because of the rivers we cross, which can unsettle your usual offroader more than you think. Maybe the Unimog can work here better, but like I said: kids are.. no, like I said: it's boring riding something that slow.
The Extreme E car would be the first electric car to hop on this current era COTW, and after collecting another pair, I am eager to see how well it would go about the current roster of Unlimited Offroads. I did mention this is one of my favorite classes, no?
- Compared to the MINI JCW Buggy, the
Extreme E's insides are pretty forgiving for space. They're both different cars, so I shouldn't be making comparisons this bluntly. But I am a fan of what these engineers of today's mudpluggers managed to design. Buttons on the console are clear, rollcage protects and attacks, I guess. And the wheel: it's round! RoUnD!!
- Again with an EV car, launch doesn't matter. Unless you're the Taycan or the Bugatti-Rimac, an EV's worry is never at the launch of the car. And so is the shifting, actually. I don't think you can put the drift gears on this car.
- With a road portion, it shows how important it is for the car to grasp the asphalt. And the ODYSSEY passes. Not exactly with flying colors. But I'll give it more credit since we can't quite swap the tire compound anyways.
- First problem: car tops out at 130. This bad. Especially when going down giant volcano or going around giant playground in middle of sky. It's electric, but I can't take chances. This needs to be noted if you're going to up the motor some so you can have some use of the great levels of power its actually given.
- We take the ODYSSEY down and dirty, and it handles there quite well, so well, you might actually turn too hard and lose some speed. Not quite as bad as what we can manage with Brocky weeks ago. It's not going to stick exclusively when it comes to handling on dirt, but what does? Be wary of how it might slide off the rear a bit.
- One thing about the car that's nice is how responsive it is on the dirt. So it's not going to go wild when I'm in it. And it responds nicely to uneven terrain and jumping. The water itself slows it barely too.
- While Barry R shirks his duties on the inside track, it allows me to get a kind of line that makes the brakes only useful in like 3 parts of the track. So what we do have here is a combo that grants those with momentum as their forte the kind of great experience for hot lapping.
- As a race car, brakes and suspension shouldn't be any ways an issue.. I really have no more words than just these.
- When it comes to the track.. I dunno, maybe I'm not terribly motivated to say there's anything notable. I don't hate this track so it's not personal. Oh yeah, it's 3 cars this week after all.
- Final tip with an Extreme E racer is to make sure your inputs in turning aren't the extremes. Keep it straight as much as you can, and while it can drift away, you're going to lose pace doing so. Get comfortable with it being not comfortable to sudden movements. And it's AWD and easy to drive, go figure. Nothing too committal when it comes to getting in and driving it to get a respectable position in races.
While I may have cut down on the words, the ODYSSEY 21 didn't cut down on how fine it is as a dirt scramble racer rather than a high speed cross country racer. And this is the kind of track that keeps you hooked like catching.. whatever jungle fish there is in this part of the world.
I haven't cut out the script saying I'm giving the ODYSSEY 21 the 12th
Mark of Zen, and how long was it? Only 20 minutes? It felt like an eternity, but 5 minutes is all it took for me to enjoy this thing. And I got paid 137,000 credits messing with it, so 20 minutes well spent, I say!
Not to forget the most important agenda, the ODYSSEY's best in my hands look to be a
1:22.279.
I was looking to go under 1:22, but my motivation couldn't keep up after Barry R taught me you should brake every now and then. So I'll just stick with this time. This is quite an experience.
Man, I can probably not stop mention of how this is my favorite class, after all.
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Vehicle 3: HotWheels Baja Bone Shaker
When you want to name it the Bone Shaker XL, remember it's gone even bigger.
With the Bone Shaker's massive success that I've covered on the original, I did mention the Bone Shaker's many variants, most notably the Baja one I raced with and against in HotWheels Unleashed. And now it's in Horizon. Interesting choice for a new Unlimited Offroads machine we got. Will it stack up to my in class favorites?
How else am I going to answer that question? Yes, I am going to squeeze a Showcase in here! That's where the words will come in!
While not an interesting choice of car, the Baja Bone Shaker squares itself at the top of B class as it is. Normally, this is an auto Beater, but let's save that opinion to the Showcase, as well as the test run.
If not the free one you earned during the start of the expansion, the car can be bought at the Autoshow for 150,000 credits. Nope, no economy or auction house analysis here. Because reasons.
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Out of the basement track, dismissed from college classrooms, and driven away from garage backdrops, we're given Ice Canyon Hazard Sprint as the place to unleash this variant of one Bone Shaker.
The XRAID Countryman and ice mix well together, as backed by my experiences in Horizon 4. The only thing missing is Wading Through Crowds.
"This Hazard Sprint is treacherous, complete with an ice lake, canyon and deep snow."
Talk about a very vague description.
Anyone who missed out on 4's winter season and don't hate it might want to come get this expansion because of the various terrain we got with their Hazard race events. And we have 3 types to go through here, most of it being snow.
This track reminds me I played HotWheels Unleashed, because it's very similar, going on and off the strips if not for the natural elements of this theme park. It's quite speedy, but do be wary of the slippery ice roads.
The track's a whole mixed bag of strip and ice. And if you ask me, tuning for top end always seems to be how to work in HotWheels land. When it comes to difficulty, hmm.. while width outside the strips are quite forgiving, I can't say the same if your car can't handle the ice. Nothing tricky or outright requiring your absolute attention, really. Just watch your speed on the ice.
To think Barry R would come in a new, less obvious but just as deadly form..
I've heard rumors that the Baja Bone Shaker's just as dominant as its road legal variant. Now we only need the monster truck in the garage, and we get the full monty of Bone Shakers in COTW.
- First note: I heard changes are made to the physics in Hot Wheels rather than in mini Mexico. Since we're here, I'll stick to the playground for the analysis.
-
Inside this Bone Shaker, we're not greeted with Sub Zero's spine ripping sensations as the gear lever this time. And it's also notably much tighter in here too, both feeling and seeing. Mainly because there's a roof while the original doesn't, and this does follow the Baja Bone Shaker's shape quite accurately. When do we get Rigor Motor for a measurement, because I do want to see how that would look.
- No, don't ask. It's AWD and I'm not giving you advice on how to launch it. You will want to shift sometime before 7000 RPMs though, because that's where it redlines.
- One notably thing with this car is its incredibly fast acceleration for B. Sounds familiar? It's a Bone Shaker, after all! But this is a big offroader truck, and speed in such a vehicle is welcomed.
- Down to the handling. It's actually really nice. It handles well on the orange just as well on the ice. Of course, speed permitting. It doesn't grip perfectly, noted by how releasing the throttle will have you drift out the rear a bit. But in general freeroam, it's going to work wonders for your first hour around the playground.
- One might notice that the Bone Shaker doesn't have a sophisticated clutch of sorts. Just pulling that lever hard and fine.. something old fashioned.. this is a 2013 car, and this is more towards style rather than function: a very HotWheels trait. And speaking of style: you can see the transmission doing its thing if you play in cockpit view, behind the exposed hood exhaust. Thumbs up from me: it's just over the top detailing.
- I dunno, is this a race car? It's in that class that qualifies as racing to me. By the way, I say this because I feel there's no reason to touch on the brakes. It's not rear happy or unforgiving. Just good old brakes.
- Here's something: the suspension feels.. generally stiff. It doesn't settle well with bumps, notably by the finish line I like to cut inwards. And some jumps, it feels like I fell onto a pile of bricks. Who put that there? Hmm.. if this was Mexico, I have a feeling it might get worse.
- Without much else to say, we head to the track. And Barry R is on a rampage this week. Mainly because we have one wide boi here and a little feather on the side of the strips mean instant flag. It's way more lenient in Mexico compared to here. I guess Barry R in general will be rampaging through the playground.
- The snow is annoying when it comes to me using the driving line to learn the track. I guess I'll have to lower the brightness.. Or maybe I should set the Showcase at night? Idea..
- I've noticed an abundance of uphill and downhill segments on this track. Power seems to be the way to go for car choice. Just the ice is going to need your attention even more.
- Final note? Umm.. watch out for Barry R. He's a nightmare here. And the starter car is fine, easy to learn machine that's even more friendly to drive than the original, while being as much of a competitor but in the mud. Seems we'll never escape Bone Shakers no matter the terrain.
Barry R has been in no short of being a humble source of race, sort of like me on week 34. Wait, what happened on week 34?
Ah perish the thought. The combo shows me how much of a hot rod this Baja Bone Shaker is, because of great speed, bad stability... sounds like Bone Shakers never stop being Bone Shakers. Only this one's already AWD, so no jokes about heresy.
Measuring my talents with this combo, the Baja Bone Shaker under my.. dark necromancy spell or something would look like a
3:08.850.
I do enjoy this new entry to the Unlimited Offroads, but this is an overall fast but stiff machine. I hope I can fix it, because... you should scroll down a bit by now.
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How about a Showcase to clean this week up? I sure feel like giving a post full of content.
Using Ice Canyon Hazard Sprint once again, we bring the Bone Shaker up a step to the top of A and have it take on a whole list of Unlimited Offroads, in a list I christen: "Journey to the Pole". Again with me not stopping, this is one of my favorite classes in Horizon, so I want to see if it's a car that's either just as dismal as the Z33, or amazing like COTW alumni Brocky.
Anyone around here should know what an SPD Showcase is. But if not, a Showcase consists of me going back to the same track, but with the current nominee pitted against other relevant cars to the top of a specific class, usually without conversions. By the end, a table tallies the results, and this week's nominee gets to be compared, then tiered into this table. These results usually give me an idea on how much better or worse they should be in the final verdict.
We begin with.. I don't think there's an obvious rival, to be honest. But I did mention it, so no funny stuff.
But just like how I want to overhype the presence of Rambo Lambo, ladies and gentlemen.. I bring you..
Ford 'Brocky' Ultra 4 Bronco RTR
Brocky. Is. Back.
And gladly so. We say hello once again to COTW alumni Brocky for another run in the skies of Mexico. Back in my designated week 27, Brocky's main issue would be its 3 gear setup possibly holding it back for power. But here's my top A-class Brocky, with a complete overhaul, while retaining much of what make Brocky such a fine machine. But how much finer can it be?
To set a base for this Showcase, Brocky puts down a boulder climbing performance to the snow, leaving a mark of
2:50.900.
This has to be so far the best feeling I've ever had with Brocky. It was fast. It turns nice. And best of all: incredibly fun. If this was the car stock, it would easily achieve Mark of Zen if this was its track. Notably, the car has all the nice traits of an off-roading badass, and none of the drawbacks. I wonder if I placed it far too early?
COTW Nominee #37, car 2 - Extreme E X44
Everything in this class screams a big gas guzzling engine and a capacity to load an elephant. How would you like to see the opposite make a statement?
Ohh ho, isn't this a surprise? 2 nominees in the Showcase for this one week! But since this is the Baja Bone Shaker on focus, it'll remain on as a competitor. But I'll make an exception and weigh in its results to the verdict.
I've alrady put a quick low down, and I mean quick. I really was gonna get into each of the 10 teams, and go further with my research and summarizing it with more paragraphs of this niobium reinforced steel. All in all, I have a lot to say about such an impressive machine, and with the Chip Ganassi machine delegated to be stock, I have the X44 here upped to the top of A, thanks to more power, and even though it's Extreme E, will this topped variant be an A in my grading scale?
An electric enigma to most players, the ODYSSEY 21 plows out of obscurity with a NEW best of
2:49.933.
No, please, stop. I'm at such a gleeful phase now, and there are more cars waiting! This is all just a treat for me. I'm playing one of my favorite classes and now the Extreme E has proven itself against the likes of Brocky. But what about the drive? All I did was fix the poor top end. Everything else was already superb, and being ahead of Brocky by a whole second is proof of that.
Jeep Trailcat
Melting the snow, one snarl at a time.
The Jeep Trailcat used to be an impressive piece of kit as a Hard-to-find goodie that's also a meta choice in 4. It's still super strong here in Mexico due to it retaining its unstoppable stability, but I have another kind of Jeep in mind when it comes to choosing an Unlimited Offroads that never disappoints. Will this demonic red, hellcat powered feline change my mind?
Something this hot means we get a best time of
2:50.531.
The Trailcat ranks pretty low in the SPD list of Unlimite Offroads, but it don't mean it can't get me results. This car's pace comes from how it combines its compact nature and its big hellcat engine. It's the dragster of the lot, with great acceleration but poor handling. Still, it works, and it's as stable as we all know it. It was a little stiff in some parts of the track, something to note.
DeBerti Jeep Wrangler Unlimited
From the Showcase in Caldera, now this absolute unit goes even higher.
Up next is a car considered to be the Trailcat's equal in form of Brad DeBerti's tuned out Jeep Wrangler Unlmited. You've seen this one before, taking on a whole roster of off-roading machines in a Motorstorm themed Showcase in week 25 with the Polaris. And it needs no mention, but this is one of my favorites for cars in the game, and a definite favorite in the class. After showing an excellent result in the last Showcase, I expect a solid result here.
And it got more than just a shaving of ice, because when I mean solid, I mean a NEW best of
2:49.747.
Imagine the Trailcat's amazing straight line. Now imagine that put in such an absolute unit that not only can accelerate and remain grippy, but can turn in such a way. Plus: the speed loss in bumps to this car is probably the least I've ever seen in any car, period. This has to be the definition of a chef's kiss.. to the elements of ice and snow.
By the way, because I expect the DeBerti Wrangler to rank this high, it means the ODYSSEY 21 just impresses more than it already has for me. It's no Corrado, but it's getting dangerously close.
Mercedes-Benz Tankpool24 Racing Truck Forza Edition 'The Sports Lorry'
If there's anything I've learned, it's that people snore quite loudly when camping in the middle of Burma.
For my final trick, we have a Forza Edition, and not the terrible Z33, but rather: the Sports Lorry. Only that I mean Sports as if in it's fast. And this 2000 horsepower offroading truck is definitely as such. All it's done to the class is to see if doubling ALL the numbers would work out. Unintentionally painted properly to the course, can we mix that with its first look to a checkered black pattern?
Double the numbers should mean double the time, right? I don't think it works like that. Speaking of work, I'm happy to say, even with a best of
2:51.813, the Sports Lorry does, indeed, work.
Of course it's me pumping the finger to the Z33 FE. But the main reason of its' suffering is that it can't turn. That's it. It's stable, it doesn't lose too much in the bumps, and it's top end is the best in its class. This might be an unsuitable track, but remember the devs were on crack when this was definitely made up, and being the ambassador of dirty driving, they probably were into something more.
Before we stir this blizzard more, it's time to take to the tiers to see how our Bone Shaker gets ranked after its run. And once again, everything is packed tightly.
HIGH: This would be if the Baja Bone Shaker gets a time under 2:50, joining fellow COTW nominee the ODYSSEY 21, and that DeBerti Wrangler. And major props to the ODYSSEY 21 for getting this high up. That's already going in its verdict.
MID: The Baja Bone Shaker would need to reach in the regions of 2:50. Not too bad.
LOW: We'll let Brocky be the brick wall, as getting beaten by it would place the Baja Bone Shaker pretty low.
COTW Nominee #37, car 3 - HotWheels Baja Bone Shaker
Are you ready for monster trucks?
I am, but..
Unfortunately, the Bone Shaker can't reach the top of A without a conversion.
So here's a racing V8 engine, go wild.
But just before of this test, there's sayings that the Bone Shaker having this much power would mean it's fast. I wonder how fast, considering how stiff and sort of unbearable it is on the course.
It might be painted in a.. fabulous tinge of pink, but I'm always willing to push it further when required. Shame about the conversion, because..
Well, it's fast alright. A NEW best of
2:47.721, but there's a caveat: it got a swap, and one of the best swaps too.
Which is kind of a shame. I always keep the car as they are, and while it suffers in performance, it's like engine swaps are made to break the mold and kick up a few notches. But on to the drive: even as I try to make it more off-road friendly, the car is just a stiff case of pain and ouch in the bumps still. Thank goodness for the swap, but as a result: I don't think I can tier this properly.
We do still have a table.
It was going to be up to 12 cars, but the other half had conversions up their tailpipe.
And whoa, it's verdict time.
All these words! I feel I'm writing a whole chapter of Tales of Cinderella in 3 days. Just another one of those things I for sure can't do mentally. Aside from my plans story writing through GT7 randomly plugging here, let's go to the verdicts.
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So..
What is the Mercedes Benz Unimog? It is..
BIG.
The issue of having this be a potential Beater is how much it is loved for what it's able to be. Everyone's a delivery driver now. Everyone can drift with the kids at the back of the bus. Everyone can finally manage 2000 horsepower without being at the top of S2.
Neutral sounds like a good rank, because it's not for everyone. And it's obviously got the wrong pace, so there's no way this thing's going out at front.
What is the Spark ODYSSEY 21? It is..
Earth, wind, and all that mother effing fire.
We're going with the formula that any Mark of Zen's a
Sleeper. And to add: may I gladly accept this car as one of the many Unlimited Offroads to bring about, as well as put it in my small roster of top Sleepers. It's such a joy to make work, and the offroad maniac in me completely approves of this.
I like this. A lot.
What is the HotWheels Baja Bone Shaker? It is..
Bone Shaker's got a new pair of shoes.
It's at the top of the class, but the thing about the Bone Shaker is that it takes a swap to bring it not only to the top, but also potentially ruin anything it touches. I look back at the original Bone Shaker that's a meta presence for one and a half games now, and the Baja one.. might be worse.
And the only thing saving it from being a Beater is that.. it's good, even without anything. For a car that has no PI to make it work in B-class, I say anyone can hop in and be sort of competitive.
Neutral from me, but I warn you: the Broncos better beware.
What a week! After all these, I should be taking a break, but even I can't say I wanna stop. Timed it so well, the expansion's fun factor has multiplied my interest on hopping on.
YEAAYYYY FUN TIMES WITH THE MINI!!
YEAAYYYY 225 MPH IN A CROSSOVER!!
YEAAYYYY WHAT AN EXCELLENT ADDITION TO THE GAME!!
YEAAYYYY SAY THE LINE, SPD!!
YEAAYYYY HOW DARE YOU!!
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