- 4,741
- Bogota,Colombia
- GTP_ARP93
Well folks, I got a new car. It's a sad story...but the present chapter of it is called: "380HP PURPLE Suzuki Swift". AWWWWW YEAH!
That is my lovely new beast, looking all lovely and beastly at my uni's campus. Here comes the full story but a TL;DR is also available further down.
Let's rewind to the first months of this year. My girlfriend had left me without reason after 6 years, I was getting bored with my career and the Mazda was in the shop after another shop I trusted ended up giving me the shaft. Back then, the car received a big upgrade: a turbine. A chinese turbine, but a turbine none the less. A tuner friend of mine told me one of his customers was parting his car and was selling a chinese turbo kit for STUPID cheap. I''m talking around US$150 for an intercooler, piping, BOV, turbo, exhaust manifold and an oil cooler. So I took the plunge. We found out, however, that the intake camshaft on the car was slowing it down because the advice I took from a forum was flawed and I got my hands on the stock FEDOHC (2000cc version of the FE3N ) from my trusty dutch dealer. The result? A head gasket that lasted just one hit of the throttle. Back to the drawing board.
You see, the tuner that I was taking my car to back then wasn't the same that installed the turbo. A huge mistake in hindsight, but you know, Capt. Hindsight is a 🤬. It was a shop that looked reputably enough and that I met when I had a brief go at local automotive journalism (Hint: that didn't end up well either), they impressed me with several cars they built like the shops Renault 9 that ran in the 12s/13s. Anyway, they stabbed me in the back and tried to scam me. I left the shop angry and with a poorly ported head. We rebuilt the engine with Leonardo, AKA "Ears" (because, you guessed it, he's :censored:ing Dumbo!), the tuner who had installed the turbo and, although it took it's sweet time, it seemed promissing: 2000 with forged Mazda internals and a fully refreshed, ported head with oversized exhaust valves! Finally, after the troubles caused by the previous shop, the website I founded and kicked myself out of, and the girlfriend that stomped and doused acid on my heart, things seemed to be going well...until the engine borked completely.
I was still breaking in the engine, the rev limiter was set at 4k and I had done almost all the 300 km of breaking in when it made a weird noise and returned to the shop on 3 cylinders. A :censored:ing piston skirt LITERALLY broke, so there you go, another rebuild. Turns out that the compression ratio ended up being too high even though we had milled the pistons, which was a precaution on itself because they were already low-comp ones. Oh, and the F9 ECU gave up the ghost. Great, more expenses. We fiddled A LOT to lower the compression ratio, got another set of pistons, offset the small end of the conrods, this and that...Leonardo took MONTHS and I was absolutely desperate: the last time I enjoyed a drive on the Mazda was the last time I had a good time with her'. I'm even tearing up as I write this.
Once I likened seeing your car towed to the shop to seeing a loved one in an ambulance to the hospital. This picture is the equivalent of seeing a loved one being loaded into a hearse. It was the final good-bye.
One day I went to the shop and Leonardo had some absolutely 🤬 news for me: no dice, the compression ratio was still too high. The reason? The previous owner used the engine for touring car racing. In here, TC2000 cars are only allowed engines up to 2000cc and always naturally aspirated. There's no easy way of putting it: he had milled the block to bump compression up. Game over. Our choice was either having a set of forged pistons custom made...or giving up. Considering forged pistons go for around US$1k and I had already spent a hefty 1,700,000 pesos on the new ECU...you can probably guess up what seemd the most viable choice.
Enter: THE Twincam.
I arrived home crushed. Totally, utterly crushed. Like "Russian roulete? 🤬 yeah, gimme that..." levels of crushed. I told my mother the news and locked myself in my room, crying as I faced the prospect of giving up on the dream of having a car to fulfill my motoring desires after all that hard work. The money just wasn't there for the pistons. The money wasn't there for a new car that could be any better than the Mazda...or so I thought.
I love you. Both. With all my fully-sized aortic pump.
"Y'know, Mechas is selling his car. You should give him a call..."
I am not making things up. This 🤬 is FAST. Not "fast". FAST.
I'll be honest: it wasn't love at first sight. I've never liked "Twincams" as they're known here, they're too common and usually riced beyond dignity. But after one highway pull that made me almost shout "SOME POO'S COME OUT!" in my best brittish accent, I was smitten. I've even been along for a ride in a truck on a hillclimb race and in another turbocharged Swift...but never had I felt so scared: the tyres, Advan Neovas no less, cried for traction through 3rd and 4th gear! The price, unlike the car, was very reasonable: 18,000,000 pesos is around US$6k. I did the maths: it had a new Turbonetics-brand turbocharger, a Haltech Sprint 500 ECU and a decent Twincam goes can't be found under 14,000,000. I had a long chat with my mother, I told her I didn't want to live outside our means that I didn't want to feel guilty by it. We crunched some numbers and she made a choice: a small savings fund she had for my college education was gonna turn into a fire-breathing Suzuki Swift. "After all, you diserve it. Think of it as a reward for having got into the National University and money I didn't have to expend on a more expensive university", she said. Just for context: Colombia's National University is the country's top college but it's quite hard to be admitted. Not only is much better than private universities: it's also much cheaper, but not everyone can get in. In a couple of days time the deal was made. The choice was made to part-out the Mazda and buying a car that ran a quarter mile in the high 11 seconds. Hey, I never claimed I was sane.
WHY ARE YOU SO :censored:ING GORGEOUS???
"The bad news: I'm a slow driver. The good news: I don't have a learning impediment!"
The first thing we did was adjusting the wastegate. The car ran up to 38psi and produced a whopping 380HP at the front wheels all the way to an 8500RPM redline...ON A CAR THAT WEIGHS LESS THAN 1800 POUNDS! Talk about overkill! Since I don't want a car to find a fancy way of killing myself and I acknowledge the limit of my skills, we detuned it to 13psi with a softer wastegate spring and set the redline at 6000 RPM. Mind you, it still managed to put down 178WHP at the dyno! Since then, it's been a JOY to own besides a couple of minor issues like an alternator that didn't charge enough or a fuel pump connector that basically melted and unplugged itself from the ECU. Besides that, the car has been an absolute BLAST on the streets and, specially, at the track.
Queue cheery Eurobeat song now! MAX POWER! THE TOP! RUNNING IN THE 90s! REMEMBER ME! Oh, 🤬, forget the last one.
STAY TUNED FOR MORE ADVENTURES OF A CAR LOVING BASTARD AND HIS WONDERFUL SUZUKI!
TL;DR:
My girlfriend left me. My car-culture website was a massive disappointment. The university got boring. The Mazda's engine block had been milled because it was previously used in a naturally aspirated racecar. I thought of giving up. My mother backed me up and rewarded me with a car that came up for sale: a 380HP Suzuki. I bought the Suzuki. Long live the Suzuki.
My girlfriend left me. My car-culture website was a massive disappointment. The university got boring. The Mazda's engine block had been milled because it was previously used in a naturally aspirated racecar. I thought of giving up. My mother backed me up and rewarded me with a car that came up for sale: a 380HP Suzuki. I bought the Suzuki. Long live the Suzuki.
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