- 88,495
- Rule 12
- GTP_Famine
Okay, I'm a fan of the original buuuut it has been a while since I last saw it and sometimes we are guilty of remembering things as better than they were. So I watched this with as little prejudice as I could muster - not as a remake but as a standalone film...
I'll start with the good.
The production values are obviously very high. Many of the effects are as one would expect. Gort's pretty good. The interrogation scene made me smile a little.
I think you can probably guess what's coming next then.
Astonishingly, only one of the main actors acquits themselves in any way at all. And it's Keanue Reeves... Yes, you read that right - but then it is one of Keanu's "Whoah" roles. Other than that, Cleese does his job with his tiny role but everyone else... It was like watching a children's nativity play.
Except that even a nativity play wouldn't have such an awful, telegraphed script. Seriously. Everyone behaved in almost completely implausible ways except where they were required to be patently obvious. Jennifer Connolly's character in particular was an abysmal waste of writing - and with a performance exactly matching it. Which reminds me... Kathy Bates! What was she thinking? Actually, it seemed to be whether she'd locked the back door before she went out.
And we'll go into the film's message - people are killing the planet and the aliens have decided that it's us or the world and they can't let the Earth die because it's such a rare and unique world. They even use the phrase "tipping point". I think anyone reading this knows me well enough to know I hate being preached to about this, not least from a Hollywood production with a larger "carbon footprint" than my entire existence, cradle to grave.
However, and I can't quite believe I'm saying this, it is actually watchable. I'm not saying you should part with your hard-earned - because you shouldn't - but if it happens to be on the TV at Christmas, it'll pass the time. With one condition...
Right at the time Keanu (or Klaatu) treats the kid for "an injury" (I won't go into any explanations, but you'll know it when you see it), take a phone call. Or a toilet break. Because if you watch the next 2 minutes you'll not only hate having spent the last 90 on that, but me as well for saying it...
So, you know, if you don't mind mercenary acting and scripts, and being preached to and, if you don't watch the last 2 minutes (see spoiler) then... you'll probably enjoy it while it's on and forget about it by the next week save for a desire to watch the original. If you like incisive, intelligent, engaging film-making then just forget it.
Summary in 10 words or less: Hollywood meh, related by name only.
Rating? Porridge-flavoured fog.
I'll start with the good.
The production values are obviously very high. Many of the effects are as one would expect. Gort's pretty good. The interrogation scene made me smile a little.
I think you can probably guess what's coming next then.
Astonishingly, only one of the main actors acquits themselves in any way at all. And it's Keanue Reeves... Yes, you read that right - but then it is one of Keanu's "Whoah" roles. Other than that, Cleese does his job with his tiny role but everyone else... It was like watching a children's nativity play.
Except that even a nativity play wouldn't have such an awful, telegraphed script. Seriously. Everyone behaved in almost completely implausible ways except where they were required to be patently obvious. Jennifer Connolly's character in particular was an abysmal waste of writing - and with a performance exactly matching it. Which reminds me... Kathy Bates! What was she thinking? Actually, it seemed to be whether she'd locked the back door before she went out.
And we'll go into the film's message - people are killing the planet and the aliens have decided that it's us or the world and they can't let the Earth die because it's such a rare and unique world. They even use the phrase "tipping point". I think anyone reading this knows me well enough to know I hate being preached to about this, not least from a Hollywood production with a larger "carbon footprint" than my entire existence, cradle to grave.
However, and I can't quite believe I'm saying this, it is actually watchable. I'm not saying you should part with your hard-earned - because you shouldn't - but if it happens to be on the TV at Christmas, it'll pass the time. With one condition...
Right at the time Keanu (or Klaatu) treats the kid for "an injury" (I won't go into any explanations, but you'll know it when you see it), take a phone call. Or a toilet break. Because if you watch the next 2 minutes you'll not only hate having spent the last 90 on that, but me as well for saying it...
So, you know, if you don't mind mercenary acting and scripts, and being preached to and, if you don't watch the last 2 minutes (see spoiler) then... you'll probably enjoy it while it's on and forget about it by the next week save for a desire to watch the original. If you like incisive, intelligent, engaging film-making then just forget it.
Summary in 10 words or less: Hollywood meh, related by name only.
Rating? Porridge-flavoured fog.
Turns out it's not "man" that's bad, just electricity. Quite why Kathy Bates' wind-up watch stops, or why the hearts of everyone and everything on the planet don't when Klaatu activates his "pulse" is something that not only defies explanation, but I don't WANT explaining because it's so mindlessly facile.
