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Auburn Hills, Michigan - Executives from Daimler-Chrysler today unveiled a new version of their successful Viper GTS-R powered by a 30-liter, 42-cylinder engine. To accomodate the engine, the car has a wheelbase that is approximately ten feet (three meters) longer than the current Viper. The new Viper, Dubbed "Viper GTS-3000" is intended to compete head-to-head with Porsche when the German manufacturer returns to racing next season after a one year sabbatical. "We've won every sports car race in the last two years, and we intend to keep it that way." said Daimler-Chrysler engineer Tony Richards.
When asked if the longer wheelbase would hurt cornering, Richards said "Sure, it hurts cornering. But when you have three-thousand-plus horsepower, who needs corners?" Addressing the problem of meeting engine displacement regulations, Richards let out a maniacal cackle and exclaimed "Rules?! We have no need for rules! We are Daimler! Nobody stands in our way and gets away with it! Bow down before the almighty Viper and call it Master!" At this point, a crack of lightning was heard while the lights in the room dimmed briefly.
Some problems with the GTS-3000 have already been discovered in testing. "With the tremendous acceleration the car is capable of, we're having trouble keeping the retinas attached inside the driver's eyeballs" said Richards. "We're looking into the development of bionic eyes designed to handle the forces and hope to have some prototypes ready for testing by December."
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