Prepare to be disappointed, no game ever will solve this problem, you can't stop people playing how they want to, even if it means being idiots. The only way is to take it all seriously like iRacing.
If you can't take public racing, stick to private races.
Personally I'd just approach racing online in a different mindset, its no use getting all worked up about it. Just accept its going to happen at some point and attempt to avoid it. I find it amusing now when punters try their tricks, I eventually find the odd driver or two in public races who are willing to race cleanly, I've already added three people to my friends list just from playing F1 2010 online.
Try playing F1:CE, Ferrari Challenge, GT5
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....all these games have punters. GT5 will also have punters, if you want to have something 100% confirmed, that is certainly going to happen.
Patience.