Teenage Mutant, er, Alien Turtles, aka Stop, Michael Bay!

[FoolKiller]

So, I am not sure if anyone has heard or not but Michael Bay's production company is taking on Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, producing a live-action film for Christmas, 2013.

At that alone many people are groaning, and others are going, "Dude, the guy who made the Transformers films is doing The Turtles next? I wonder who will play April, cause he always gets the hotties, and you know he knows his action. I can't wait."

But, stop. At an event known as Nickelodeon Upfront (I'm not familiar with what this event is) Michael Bay discussed it and said, "When you see this movie, kids are going to believe, one day, that these turtles actually do exist when we are done with this movie. These turtles are from an alien race and they are going to be tough, edgy, funny and completely lovable."

So, no rubber suits, and going to make us believe they could be real? That sounds....wait. Did he say aliens? They are from an alien race?

Um...but they are called Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. All forms of the original story have them being mutated by some form of toxic waste/ooze. See the movie poster from above. Read the Wikipedia article on the comics.

The concept originated from a comical drawing sketched out by Kevin Eastman during a casual evening of brainstorming with his friend Peter Laird. The drawing of a short, squat turtle wearing a mask with nunchakus strapped to its arms was incredibly funny to the young artists, as it played upon the inherent contradiction of a slow, cold-blooded reptile with the speed and agility of the Japanese martial arts. At Laird's suggestion, they created a team of four such turtles, each specializing in a different weapon. Eastman and Laird often cite the work of Frank Miller and Jack Kirby as their major artistic influences.

Using money from a tax refund together with a loan from Eastman's uncle, they formed Mirage Studios and self-published a single-issue comic book that would parody four popular comics of the early 1980s: Marvel Comics' The New Mutants, which featured teenage mutants, Cerebus, Ronin, and Daredevil, which featured ninja clans dueling for control of the New York City underworld.[2]

In fact, many comics fans will recognize in the Turtles' origin several direct allusions to Daredevil: The traffic accident, involving a blind man and a truck carrying toxic waste, is a reference to Daredevil's own origin story (Indeed in the version told in the first issue Splinter sees the canister strike a boys face, though in this world it does not split until it reaches the turtles). The name "Splinter" is a parody on Daredevil's mentor, a man known as "Stick." The Foot, a clan of evil ninja who became the Turtles' arch-enemies, is a parody of the Hand, who were themselves a mysterious and deadly ninja clan in the pages of Daredevil.

And of course, the cartoon's origin:





Now, you can imagine that anyone who heard this reacted badly. So, Michael Bay took to his own Web site to respond.

Fans need to take a breath, and chill. They have not read the script. Our team is working closely with one of the original creators of Ninja Turtles to help expand and give a more complex back story. Relax, we are including everything that made you become fans in the first place. We are just building a richer world.

Michael

Am I the only one noticing that in a forum thread he created he titles it Ninja Turtles and refers to it in his post simply as Ninja Turtles? Could he be shortening it for simplicity-sake? Sure, but the rest of the world uses the much simpler TMNT.

Oh, and the voice actor for Michelangelo from the first film even posted on Facebook about this:

Dear Michael Bay.

You probably don't know me but I did some voice work on the first set of movies that you are starting to talk about sodomizing.

Look man, I think you have some pretty nifty action ideas (of course on the other side, the minute ANYONE in your movies starts using actual dialog I seem to catch myself nodding off), but seriously, Teenage ALIEN Ninja Turtles?

I know believing in mutated talking turtles is kinda silly to begin with but am I supposed to be led to believe there are ninjas from another planet?

You know that ninjas are a certain kind of cultural charact....

Oh what the hell am I talking to you for?

The rape of our childhood memories continues.....

Now, as many of the Michael Bay defenders are saying, mutants can come from an alien race. But short of an alien race coming in and mutating four people/turtles into a half man, half turtle creature that, at some point, learns to be a ninja, I can't see how he maintains any of what makes the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles work as a cohesive group.

To be honest, the last time Michael Bay touched on of my beloved childhood franchises the titular characters had completely different personalities and took a back seat to newly introduced characters, while the story was full of plot holes. Ultimately it wound up with two sequels that had stories that negated the point of the previous film(s), thus destroying any continuity, and continued to place the titular characters into secondary roles.


So, I'm turning off my nerd rage machine now.


What say you GTPlanet? Are you afraid that Michael Bay will have a hand in butchering another classic franchise, or are excited to find out who you will play the role of mandatory-3D-IMAX-ass-shot model?

 

[Solid Lifters]

I'm too old for Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, never real got into them, but I do feel for you guys that grew up with them. I want to vomit at what Michael Bay is doing... again... and again.

 

[boomee]

There is now reason to change the turtles to aliens and there is a vast history good and bad with the turtles if he wants them to be more edgy its very simple look at the original comics

 

[Terronium-12]

I saw this on IGN yesterday and thought it was an honest joke (I didn't actually read the article, just the title) but to know this is real is, well, stupid.

Aliens? Really?

Why not remake Robocop next, and you know, have him not be a cyborg but some random deadbeat police officer who slips himself into a suit of armor?

 

[FoolKiller]

Making them aliens would be like making a Transformers movie and having nearly every Decepticon kill made by humans and having things like a 45 minute gap without any Transformers, or making a movie about the attack on Pearl Harbor and having it be a love triangle drama...oh wait.

 

[Blitz187]

^ LoL Pearl Harbor made me cringe.... Anyway... I read this earlier in the week and I fell from my chair at work. TMNT is a series I grew up watching... I've probably seen every episode twice in my youth. When I read what Michael Bay was planning I just got sick to my stomach and wanted to hurl all over my keyboard. Why does he feel the need to butcher this series as well? And then he plays it off as if its cool on a forum. I'll be following this to see what happens further with this production.

Edit: Have you guys read that thread from Michael Bay? I've never seen so much knob slobbing on a forum before...

 

[Dennisch]

Edit: Have you guys read that thread from Michael Bay? I've never seen so much knob slobbing on a forum before...

Indeed. They treat him like a god, he can't do anything wrong.

Well guess what, Mr. Bay??

You already did it wrong. And then again, and again, and all the other occasions I can't recall for now.

Teenage Alien Mutant Ninja Turtles. Make it richer. Pfft. Let them wear pink tutu's. And fight against Robots from space, who came to Earth. Like the turtles.

 

[Danoff]

Well the original cartoon was campy even when I was watching it at an extremely young age, so I'm not offended by a major change (even one as big as taking out the M from TMNT). However, I seriously doubt that this movie could get me interested enough to see it. It's ninja turtles for pete's sake. I loved it as a kid, but I don't see how that premise can work out. Though, if he wanted to win some points with me he'd get Vanilla Ice to do a cameo.

FWIW, I liked Transformers 1.

 

[Dennisch]

I liked T1 too, but that was more sentiment from the past than WOWZOMG!!! awesome movie..

 

[Pupik]

I'm too old for Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, never real got into them, but I do feel for you guys that grew up with them. I want to vomit at what Michael Bay is doing... again... and again.

Same here, saw one or two cartoons, and found it quite immature. But I was in high-school then, so I didn't care. But I feel bad for those of you who did enjoy it, not for the reason that I didn't like it, but because Micheal Bay is King Tidy Bowl, and everything he touches turns to crap.

Hollywood is so out of ideas for action movies, that it's pathetic. There's no story to be told anymore, just crass merchandising with special effects and a dozen worn-out tropes with some incredibly lame jokes thrown in a soup of stereotype du jour.

 

[Crispy]

Hmm, considering the look on the turtles faces, the title (Secret of the Ooze?) and Michael Bay's obsession of replaceable barbie dolls, I think it's safe to say where this movie might be headed...

 

[TB]

the title (Secret of the Ooze?)...I think it's safe to say where this movie might be headed...

TMNT II - The Secret of the Ooze was made in 1991, it's not the name of the Bay abomination.

I watched my fair share of TMNT when if was on TV in the late '80's and early '90's. I even dabbled in watching an episode here and there of the new(er) 2003 series. That said, deviating from the admittedly implausible premise that four turtles and a rat could 1) come across a vial of mutagen in a sewer 2) said mutagen could make them more people-like 3) the people-like animals could learn to be ninja's 4) love pizza more than I do is an outrage.

You've already blown holes in one beloved childhood memory, Mr. Bay. Isn't that enough? I for one say yes, yes it is. 👎

 

[FoolKiller]

FWIW, I liked Transformers 1.

"WHOA! WHOA! WHOA!"

For what it is worth, it is Michael Bay's best movie. When I saw it in theaters I thought it was OK, but certain things grated on my nerves. The more I see it the more I hate it because I keep hoping to find an explanation for the inexplicable bits.



I understand creative license and reworking story elements for the screen, but as a fan of the Marvel Avengers series of films I am finding the excuses by uncreative Hollywood talents to think they can tell an existing story better to be pitiful. I mean, if you are going to admit to lacking creativity by making a movie from franchises that already exist why the hell do you think you can improve it?

 

[Terronium-12]

It's possible, but at the same time, highly unlikely that there's promise for this as it seems to be manipulating select parts of the actual origin of the turtles. At the same time, he's also throwing caution to the wind and is rewriting something that doesn't need to be rewritten.

With Nightmare on Elm St it was perfectly acceptable because that interpretation of Freddy was closer to what Rob originally wanted in the first place (which you also saw in A New Nightmare). With this I'm just far too skeptical - I grew up with TMNT and I'd really prefer not to see it butchered.

 

[Famine]

My brother and I went to see TMNT3 at the cinema back in 1993. He was 24 at the time and glad to have his 16 year old brother there so he didn't look like... the sort of mid-20s man who goes to the cinema to watch kids' films

He liked the live action films because he was heavily into karate at the time (doing it rather than Fapaneseing - he did manage a second place age and ability group finish in a regional tournament a couple of years earlier) and these were four guys in big rubber suits who could do it better than he could

TMNT was crap, but brilliant crap. There was very little seriousness to it at all - except when the UK censors tore it to tatters so that we didn't see any Asian weapons - and you could just sit down and have fun. Even with Vanilla Ice. Or time travel. Yeah, some gunk made some turtles and some rats in a sewer mutate and one of them was a rat from Japan who knew ninjutsu to the point of training others in it... yeah that works. Pass the popcorn.


What's Bay going to ruin next? MASK? Jayce and the Wheeled Warriors? Star Fleet X Bomber?

 

[SRV2LOW4ME]

My childhood is being systematically raped, one after another, by Michael Bay.

Funny to see the voice actor actually coming forward and saying something instead of kissing his behind, hoping for work on the movie. I kind of wish I could shake that mans hand right now. 👍

 

[FoolKiller]

There was very little seriousness to it at all

Just as quick reminder as to why they had very little seriousness or were silly, as mentioned by someone else.

From the wiki article I quoted:

they formed Mirage Studios and self-published a single-issue comic book that would parody four popular comics of the early 1980s:

There is no expectation of seriousness. Afterall, Ninjas are wacky.

What's Bay going to ruin next? MASK? Jayce and the Wheeled Warriors? Star Fleet X Bomber?

Shhh! He might be reading this.

 

[Mark T]

I hate the idea of Turtles being aliens. Why change a concept which is already original?

Also, if you're going to make another Turtles film then you must use animatronic suits with real people doing the martial arts. CGI has become boring in my opinion.

 

[Pezzarinho17]

ONLY way it could work is a very long shot. So we have a mission to space / mars / moon, with some kind of turtle related experiment. Whilst in space something happens (cosmic rays of some kind, radiation) mutating all on board and returning years later.

 

[Famine]

What's Bay going to ruin next? MASK? Jayce and the Wheeled Warriors? Star Fleet X Bomber?

Shhh! He might be reading this.

Care of: The Daily Mash

 

[Danoff]

 

[88FoxBodyFan]

Ninja Turtles movie getting pushed back, possibly indefinitely:

http://movies.msn.com/paralleluniverse/paramount-shuts-down-ninja-turtle-reboot/story/

Although is doesn't say why in the article, maybe someone decided making the turtles aliens wasn't such a good idea.