The Childfree Thread.

[Carbonox]

Right. Long opening post coming up, starting with the basics. Oh, hold on, you underage people at the back, you're still obviously allowed to contribute. I'm not talking "adult-only" here. (And if I made such a thread, it'd probably go to the Infield anyway)

Childfreedom. What is it? The best way I could describe it is voluntary non-reproduction. Not to be confused with childlessness, which is often attributed to naturally infertile people who would like to procreate but are unable to. Sometimes childfree folk are known to acquire vasectomies or other permanent methods of contraception to bring the risk of accidents down to (at least almost) zero.

Some have complained we are condescending towards parents. Unfortunately, some of us are, but please don't try to generalize. I know procreation is kind of necessary to keep humankind going, and heck, I know some people who make for some pretty good parents. (Although a touch more discipline never hurts anyone) The only types I can't stand are the ones who are acting entitled, and the irresponsible ones who can't even afford their kids, but still continue to make more of them.

Why would we opt out of kids? Various reasons. Now, I might as well consider this an "advanced introduction" to myself. After all, this is the biggest decision I have made in my life, and it'd be dumb to just leave this thread here without anything specific to contribute. Off we go!

1) I don't want the responsibility. I might be 19, but I can barely take care of myself. Heck, I occasionally even forget my medication, which is the one thing I should always remember, because not taking it could have unpleasant consequences. I highly doubt I could keep a completely dependant person alive for more than a couple of months at best.

2) I don't like kids in general. They're just frustrating. Even holding one doesn't sound like a good deal, and that's not even the worst part - the worst is cleaning out vomit or crap (I refuse to say poop ) from the floor, or change diapers, or wake up in the middle of the night because it's crying and screaming again for no clear reason. And don't even get me started with the tantrums. Feels like everytime I go to a big store, there's gotta be at least one kid throwing one. And that can be heard all the way across the store. Craz-y.

And frankly, I don't even find kids cute. I prefer dogs, they don't scream bloody murder at least.

3) The money. Yes, I said it. But to tell you the truth, I kinda need money to make it through life. No matter where you live, kids cost a lot. And it doesn't get any better once they possibly head to university and I'm paying the bills. I don't want to become a welfare bum with multiple unwanted kids, but actually someone who tries to contribute as a worker and taxpayer.

"But the best way to contribute to society is to create more taxpayers!" someone says. Well duh. But do I really owe that to society? Sounds like a bad deal anyway, as it takes 18 miserable years and maybe even extra to raise a single taxpayer.

4) Genes... or maybe rather just diseases? Right off the bat, I can't really say my genes would be that bad. There seems to be no heart diseases or any other nasty stuff in my family, but there's one problem I have - the Aspergers. I have no idea if it's genetic or not, but as someone who's had to suffer, I'm not taking the chance. I can't even comprehend how much better my childhood would've been if I had been, you know, normal. What I turned out like was an extremely easy-to-offend person for whom it took lots of time before he could control his anger. Yeah, never again.

5) Having a kid also brings the possibility of losing one. (See reason 1) By eliminating the "joys of parenthood" I'm also eliminating the possible, but devastating tragedies.

6) Global overpopulation. Finland's maybe not suffering from it at all, but one less person reproducing is still a contribution, albeit a microscopic one in the longer run. I prefer the idea of a future where food/water wars are unnecessary because there'd be few enough people to share it all.

"But by not reproducing you're allowing the white race to die out!" is unfortunately an argument some people tend to use. I don't even.


I could've thought of more reasons possibly, but those will do for now. Thanks in advance to whoever read it - I feel like I need to express myself openly, and GTP seems to be a nice, understanding place to do just that.

But this isn't only me speaking out here. The purpose of this thread is, essentially, for the childfree people of GTP to gather around and talk about their reasons, and also for parents or would-be parents asking us questions about our lifestyle if you have any.

Peace.

 

[W3H5]

I cannot wait to have my first child.

That is all.

 

[RedPartyhat]

I cannot wait to have my first child.

That is all.

I think you misunderstood the thread's purpose

 

[neljack]

Hi penguin .

Nah, ill contribute seriously.

As a whole I quite like children, half the time it's not the child's fault that they're a total prat and spend most of their time causing no good, doesn't take much for parents to discipline a child.

On a personal level, I totally disagree with point 5). My parents had a lot of difficulty having a child as my mums placenta wasn't strong enough to keep a fetus for a long enough period of time, I dread to think what it was like for my parents, and wouldn't wish that sort of thing in anyone.

However with newer medical advances a way was found to improve the period of time, and at just over 34 weeks I was born. Whether or not my parents are happy how I've turned out ill never know . But somewhere, deep down, they love me really

My point being, just because there's the possibility of being heartbroken, like in my parents case, doesn't deter your parental ability.

 

[Dennisch]

I am 31, and still don't like children. Hell, In my mind I am still a child.

It is a dang shame that everyone around me is getting kids or already have them.
I hate crying children in the background when playing on PSN or something!

Good thing my girl doesn't like crying children either. Eh eh eh.

And it is a good thing that my brother will get his first kid, a boy, this month so the family name will live on for at least 1 generation and I don't have to cope with that burden.

 

[Katiegan]

I personally never want kids. I know most young people say this, and they always say "I'm never getting married!" and the like, and 10 or 15 years down the line they're married with 3 kids, but I'm pretty certain I don't want children. I can't rule out the possibility of marriage, but children are off the list. Having something growing inside me for 9 months, only to endure hours of pain and screaming to push it out, for it to ungratefully cry at me as soon as it gets out, is not my idea of fun.

I have 2 nieces, one aged 3 and the other aged 1. I don't hate them, as they are family, but I do hide in my room when they're around until they're gone. Some people love children and think they're fabulous bundles of joy, others, like myself, think they're awful.

From a car enthusiasts point of view, they're nothing but bad news. You've finally got the car of your dreams, whatever it may be, and most likely it's not a family car. This thing is your pride and joy, and you tell yourself you'll never sell it because you love it that much. Now, car guys, you've got a girlfriend, right? She's not too keen on the amount of hours you spend in the garage but she loves you anyway and lets you spend far too much on it. One day she turns around and tells you she's pregnant, and the car has to go. It's not just you and your lady driving around in that car anymore. Little Timmy needs a place to sit too, and no matter how much you argue with your lady, the boot isn't a suitable place for a child. That's it. Your pride and joy that you've put blood, sweat and tears into is now listed on eBay, never to be worked on by you again, for a child that will keep you awake for the first year of its life and then rob you blind for the next 17 years, maybe even more. You have this moment of catharsis as you watch your automotive love drive away to be cherished by a new owner, a tear rolling down your cheek as you turn around and look at the polished turd of a minivan staring back at you, the baby seat already strapped in nicely in the back and the toys dangling from above. Your life as a boy racer is over.

Of course, I understand that some people love their children and would do anything for them, and don't mind spending on them, and I have no problem with that. If you love your children and you're a responsible parent, carry on procreating, because there's far too many parents out there who don't care enough for their children and are just doing it for the benefits. I just don't want to settle down. I want a job where I'm constantly travelling and don't have time to settle down with a family, to make sure I certainly don't end up with a kid to look after. Although, unfortunately, there are families out there who would make great parents but are infertile, which does make me feel slightly guilty for being perfectly able to create a child but not wanting to at all.

 

[The Bman]

I think Carb and Katie hit the nail on the head.

I never liked the idea of having children (especially babies) for as long as I have been living, even when I was a child. Not only that, but I suffer depression and go through as much stress as it is. If I'm still going through depression when I'm in my 20's and beyond, why would I want to have any kids and go through more? It's just not something I could live with. In fact, I even tend to ignore fulfilling my basic needs (brushing my teeth, showering, etc.) just so I can relieve my stress. How would I expect to take care of a child (or children) if I can't take care of myself adequately?

Also, I want to be a race car driver. That's a career that involves going place-to-place and I would even be able to see my child often if I had one. It's a career with a demanding schedule.

I have no problems with people who want to be parents as it's their choice to raise a family or not, but it's nowhere to be seen in my plans. To be honest, I actually get along with kids well, but the issue is more if I were raising one instead of simply knowing one.

 

[Slash]

I never liked te idea of having kids for a lot of the reasons here. However, I'm undecided about it. Somedays I like them and enjoy their company, other days I don't want to have them. I won't do it until I'm absolutely sure I have the right girl as well.

From a car enthusiasts poit of view, kissing your car goodbye is a bunch of bull crap. You might not use it as much but you don't have to sell it for the money. There are other ways I making cash.

 

[XPOWER180]

Never wanted kids and never will, they're a nasty burdon and a drain on the worlds resources. People should think twice before they keep churning out child after child, that's what will bring famine and absolute poverty to the world - the global population is spiraling out of control already. Kid free all the way for me!!

 

[Brend]

Never wanted kids and never will, they're a nasty burdon and a drain on the worlds resources. People should think twice before they keep churning out child after child, that's what will bring famine and absolute poverty to the world - the global population is spiraling out of control already. Kid free all the way for me!!

What if your mum thought the same way?

 

[Exorcet]

I'm open to children, but it's for a later date.

From a car enthusiasts point of view, they're nothing but bad news. You've finally got the car of your dreams, whatever it may be, and most likely it's not a family car. This thing is your pride and joy, and you tell yourself you'll never sell it because you love it that much. Now, car guys, you've got a girlfriend, right? She's not too keen on the amount of hours you spend in the garage but she loves you anyway and lets you spend far too much on it. One day she turns around and tells you she's pregnant, and the car has to go. It's not just you and your lady driving around in that car anymore. Little Timmy needs a place to sit too, and no matter how much you argue with your lady, the boot isn't a suitable place for a child. That's it. Your pride and joy that you've put blood, sweat and tears into is now listed on eBay, never to be worked on by you again, for a child that will keep you awake for the first year of its life and then rob you blind for the next 17 years, maybe even more. You have this moment of catharsis as you watch your automotive love drive away to be cherished by a new owner, a tear rolling down your cheek as you turn around and look at the polished turd of a minivan staring back at you, the baby seat already strapped in nicely in the back and the toys dangling from above. Your life as a boy racer is over.

This sounds like bad planning. If I have kids, the car stays. The kids will grow up with the car and learn how to drive it too if that's their interest. All it takes is financial planning and telling your partner beforehand. Someone in the above situation either never bothered looking ahead or was hit with terrible luck and forced to abandon their plans.

 

[kikie]

I suffer from both childfreedom and childlessness.

Childfreedom: I'm not in the right mood to (I'm in a good mood but not in a "explain-childfreedom-mood) to want to explain myself right now. I'll probably going to later on, maybe today, maybe tomorrow or .......... .

Childlessness. This is not by choice. You still have to have a female partner to create life. In my case, no female partner means no means to reproduce. Not that I want to but if I wanted to, it is still not possible (the natural way).


I don't want kids; but never say never.

 

[PeterJB]

I definitely want children. Even with all the heavy lifting such as nappies and money, at the end of the day your love for them outweighs all of that.

 

[CodeRedR51]

I will be 29 next month and in no way am I ready for kids. I won't say never, but certainly not in the next 5-6 years.

 

[adam46]

So I'm 16.
Currently, many people I have shared a classroom with in the past are expecting, or already have, a child. Most of those were accidental, and I feel sorry for them (Kinda, I still view it as their fault for not thinking before... yeah). If I am having children somewhere down the line, I want to have a set job, a house of our own and preferably I'd want to be married; I had a rather extreme situation due to my parents age gap and lack of commitment to each other or working, and I'd never wish the same thing on anyone.

But would I want to be a father? Honestly, I don't know. At the moment, I know I am not mentally stable enough for such a commitment, and if that doesn't change I wouldn't want a child. I'll admit, I often need to just curl up and cry or walk far away from civilization... That's not a fabulous way of coping but for now that's all I have. If that's a part of me that remains as I grow up (I am trying to combat it) then it's straight no from me. At the moment I am not a big fan of children, so that's a negative point as well.
But if the cogs in my head are functioning properly and I'm with someone I trust long-term, I suppose I'd be okay with it.

In summary, if the circumstances are right, for me and others, I would; but I'd make sure I wouldn't if I knew I couldn't, which seems likely.

 

[watermelon punch]

I hate the terms "childfree" & "childless". I wish we didn't have to define people that way, or relegate them into groupings by whether or not they had kids & whether or not it was "by choice".

How do we even separate choice from happenstance?
For example, in the U.S., fertility treatment costs are high. If a rich heiress who never had to work because their grandfather made a load of money way back when, is able to have a baby because they get expensive fertility treatments, but someone who worked hard all their lives, and had to care for an ailing family member who got cancer or something... just simply cannot afford that because of unavoidable misfortune...
Who did what by choice? And what does it have to do with anything?

I think most people (like myself) fall somewhere in between those 2 labels of -free or -less.
I think if I wanted children, I would've found some way to make that happen probably. On the other hand, I think the fact that I don't have children has a lot more to do with luck, circumstances, and just a bunch of factors having played a part. Maybe had something or other been different, I'd be singing a different tune.

I do however hate the "Sanctimommies" as they're called. The people who act like ONLY parents know what's moral, or can have any perspective on society, children, or civilization as a whole.
One of my most influential & best teachers is still unmarried & childless (and 70-something now). That says it all.

Every human being is a human being to me, no matter their age, or whether or not they've reproduced or why.
We're all in this world together.

 

[TB]

When I was 19, there was no way I was having kids.
When I was 21, I got married and told everyone that I didn't like kids so they stop asking when my wife and I were going to have kids (the question was from my mom at the wedding reception )
When I was 22, my wife and I decided that we would have two kids and no more. They must not be allowed to outnumber us.
When I was 26, we had our first son.
When I was 27, we had out second son.
Still 27, Thing 2 was diagnosed with CF.
When I was 28, I had a vasectomy. It was less expensive then birth control pills and, especially the way this doctor did it, there's VIRTUALLY no possible way for one of the little swimmers to make it through. I already have one rather expensive illness in the family. I can't handle two.
Now that I'm 36, there's no way I'd change any of the above.

For you guys that are under the age of 21 saying you don't want kids (Especially because of diapers. Really? Grow up.) after you find "the right person", see if that attitude changes. I'm betting it will. And you'll be better off for it.

 

[Carbonox]

For you guys that are under the age of 21 saying you don't want kids (Especially because of diapers. Really? Grow up.) after you find "the right person", see if that attitude changes. I'm betting it will. And you'll be better off for it.

For some people though, the term "right person" means someone who also shares the childfree lifestyle.

Close minded? Maybe a little. But I can't see myself making the compromise.

The vasectomy deal is interesting - I'd probably already try to have one if I wasn't so utterly creeped out by the thought of doctors cutting up my body, and if there weren't limitations (at 19 years, I doubt anyone would want to perform the procedure). If anything, though, an early vasectomy is going to effectively weed out the non-childfree candidates from the dating pool if the tied tubes are brought up before starting anything serious.

 

[watermelon punch]

For some people though, the term "right person" means someone who also shares the childfree lifestyle.

Certainly the case in our household. Me & my spouse married in middle age, for the first time, both of us never had any children. This is likely not a coincidence. Definitely not a coincidence if you ask my husband.

Don't know how big a factor diapers were in the equation.
That said, I've never changed a diaper in my life.
And as long as I don't wind up with an incontinence problem, perhaps never will.

 

[McLaren]

I personally never want kids. I know most young people say this, and they always say "I'm never getting married!" and the like, and 10 or 15 years down the line they're married with 3 kids, but I'm pretty certain I don't want children. I can't rule out the possibility of marriage, but children are off the list. Having something growing inside me for 9 months, only to endure hours of pain and screaming to push it out, for it to ungratefully cry at me as soon as it gets out, is not my idea of fun.

They must be doing something right in the UK to even have that thought to start. Here, it appears to becoming the trend to have kids, get married, & a home before you're even 25. In that order....

On the topic itself, I never thought I didn't want kids. I just didn't want to bring one into the world without being financially stable enough to give them everything I thought they deserved. As the years have passed, that's becoming more & more doable, but by no means, am I in any rush right now with the things I have been dealing with emotionally over the past 2 years. That being said, I do hope one day to have a daughter.

 

[LeadFootLiam]

I want to get married, I don't want kids either. If I did I would raise them well so that they can do well in life. One way to do that is to not spoil them, and to discipline them, not just verbally, its not direct enough.

Some may call it child abuse and they're wrong, discipline is not child abuse, it sends a clear message to the child and the child learns much quicker, and is more cooperative.

And the child won't end up needing a leash, bugs the hell out of me when I see that.

 

[Pagey279]

I have always wanted kids, the feeling intensified when my girlfriends baby sister was born. She's just turned a year old and doesn't really have a father as such. He has split up from her mother, doesn't take an interest in her, generally doesn't wan to have much to do with her.

So over the past few months she has grown really attached to me, and now I think she thinks I am her dad. In fact when she sees me she has the biggest grin on her face and says "Dadadadadada". Whether it's a bad or good thing I don't know, but it definitely makes me want kids even more.

I don't want kids yet, I'm only 21, plus financially it's a definite no no. In a few years time though when I've moved out, got a decent and secure job then yes. And I can't wait.

Although having said that I don't particularly like children in general. My girlfriends 6 year old sister pretty much forced me to have a pretend tea party for her teddy bears birthday. It ended in me having to sing happy birthday, to a sodding teddy bear.
Plus kids these days, at least around here, are gobby little :censored:s, and I wish nothing more than to solidly plant my fist into their faces. Obviously I don't.

 

[TB]

@Pagey279 - you started off so nice but then you completely lost me at the end.

 

[adam46]

It ended in me having to sing happy birthday, to a sodding teddy bear.
.

You think that's bad? A 16 year old girl forced my entire class to sing Happy Birthday to her Playmobil named Jack.

 

[Anathema]

Read through the thread (and each post. Was informative.)

Thought about it for a while, and came to the conclusion that, for those who want to avoid the first stage or are unable to have children, there is always adoption. Didn't see it posed before in the thread. Since I really don't have the mental function to write out a full-fledged response tonight, what do the other posters think of adoption?

 

[McLaren]

I never liked te idea of having kids for a lot of the reasons here. However, I'm undecided about it. Somedays I like them and enjoy their company, other days I don't want to have them. I won't do it until I'm absolutely sure I have the right girl as well.

From a car enthusiasts poit of view, kissing your car goodbye is a bunch of bull crap. You might not use it as much but you don't have to sell it for the money. There are other ways I making cash.

Making money is not why people get rid of their pride & joy. It's because they need another car & the easiest way to do so is to trade in what you already have.

 

[Katiegan]

You think that's bad? A 16 year old girl forced my entire class to sing Happy Birthday to her Playmobil named Jack.

 

[adam46]

Little girl pic

What is that supposed to signify?

 

[Danny]

I don't think I'd ever want kids. They're noisy, their hands are always inexplicably sticky and they generally make things messy.

And besides I was the best child in existence so any child I have would only be a disappointment.

Although having said that, I'd love to be able to crack out the 'you don't have kids, you wouldn't understand' holier than thou attitude that occasionally runs rampant on here.

Have kids, become jerk. Every single one of them.

 

[Akmuq]

Will probably want kids 1 day, doubt it will be anytime soon though.