Top Gear's James May caused the Icelandic Volcanic Eruption

[Delirious]

http://transmission.blogs.topgear.com/2010/04/16/1990/

As widely reported in the media this week, James May was spotted in Iceland days before the volcano eruption that paralysed British air space.

Today, experts worldwide have rushed to blame TopGear for the holiday-ruining cloud of ash and doom sweeping over the UK.

According to local media, the shaggy-haired television presenter was witnessed driving a modified Hilux to the rim of the Eyjafjallajoekull volcano last week.

Though initially assumed that he was simply filming a feature for the the popular motoring television show, it has since been speculated that May’s purpose was far more devious.

“It has been scientifically proven that TopGear is responsible for almost every evil in the modern world, so the eruption of a furious tectonic force barely a week after Richard Clarkson’s ‘visit’ can hardly be viewed as mere coincidence,” says media commentator Annalisa Kneejerk.

“We have it on good authority that Jeremy Hammond drove one of his favourite Ferrari gas-guzzlers at 100mph, straight into the main magma chamber, which could quite easily have caused this geological catastrophe. Thankfully I’ve never watched the show.”

Well that explains everything...agreed?

 

[Terronium-12]

I'm not sure which bothers me more - the article, or this...

According to local media, the shaggy-haired television presenter was witnessed driving a modified Hilux to the rim of the Eyjafjallajoekull volcano last week.

What the hell is that? Is that a word, or just something a two-year old named?

EDIT: Wait a minute....

We have it on good authority that Jeremy Hammond drove one of his favourite Ferrari gas-guzzlers at 100mph, straight into the main magma chamber, which could quite easily have caused this geological catastrophe. Thankfully I’ve never watched the show.

And it shows. Jeremy Hammond?

 

[Irons]

Sad thing is, some people would actually believe this..

This is a funny bit though...

 

[Famine]

And it shows. Jeremy Hammond?

You know this is a spoof, off the Top Gear blog, right?

 

[daan]

What the hell is that? Is that a word, or just something a two-year old named?

It's the name of a volcano in Iceland that is currently erupting causing great disruption to air traffic in Europe. There have been no flights in or out of the UK for 3 days. Do you bother with "news"?

And it shows. Jeremy Hammond?

And I suppose you missed Richard Clarkson?

I'm not sure how you can be further away from the point of this and still be on the same planet as the rest of us...

 

[Aldo]

^
I think it was Famine that said that name meant something meaningful...
Found it:

Yup. Means "Glacier of the island mountains" (literally - eyja is island, fjoll is mountain and jokull is glacier).

Of course the big worry is that most eruptions here in recent times have been precursors to a proper go from Katla...

 

[DK]

I suppose that the next thing that happens is that Top Gear will be blamed for the Credit Crunch.

 

[Robin]

He probably got out of the Hilux at the rim of the volcano, forgot to put the handbrake on and it fell in..... which upset it!

I can just see James running away repeating, oh c**k or c**k!!

Robin.

 

[daan]

When the dust clears, there'll be a Hilux sitting at the base of the volcano, ready to be driven away...

If the TG boys can't kill a Hilux, what chance does a volcano have?

 

[Jondot]

When the dust clears, there'll be a Hilux sitting at the base of the volcano, ready to be driven away...

, too true. Though I'm surprised nobody's made an unintended acceleration joke yet...

 

[furai]

That's a bloody lie ! May did not drive around Eyjafjallajoekull, I met him in
LLANFAIRPWLLGWYNGYLLGOGERYCHWYRNDROBWLLLLANTYSILIOGOGOGOCH - i swear it !!!

 

[Dotini]

Since this is a fanciful thread, I'll play along and note that last night on NPR some commentator was speculating that Man's removal of oil and coal from underground, and other pollution activity, was causing or contributing to earthquakes and volcanoes.

Now here's my own highly speculative idea. Earthquakes and volcanoes are caused by electrical stresses in the crust of the Earth. This is based on the observation that enormous numbers of binary star systems are to be found in the universe, that stars are essentially balls of plasma, and that excess electrical stresses in plasma balls will cause them to fission into two. Earth itself is a charged object with a strong magnetic field and plasma envelope. It is growing in size and mass over geologic time and the crust is continually expanding and flattening to accommodate this growth. The exact cause of this growth is currently unexplained, but it must ultimately be fueled and controlled by the Sun since the Sun and Earth are electrically connected and earthquakes are correlated to the Sun's K-index and to lightning activity.

Now I realize this is not exactly the currently accepted hypothesis, but I offer it since there is currently no full understanding of earthquakes and volcanoes, and in lieu of full explanation, such speculating ought to be tolerated and even encouraged.

With apologies in advance to all offended scientists,
Dotini

Lightning in ash column: http://www.swisseduc.ch/stromboli/perm/iceland/eyafallajokull_20100416-en.html?id=3

 

[GTP_CaptainSlow]

Oh cock!

 

[FlareKR]

When Whateverthenameofthatthingis explodes, and we find some burnt Ferrari flying through Britain, all fingers towards Captain Slow.

 

[Terronium-12]

It's the name of a volcano in Iceland that is currently erupting causing great disruption to air traffic in Europe. There have been no flights in or out of the UK for 3 days. Do you bother with "news"?


And I suppose you missed Richard Clarkson?

I'm not sure how you can be further away from the point of this and still be on the same planet as the rest of us...

Couple of things...

It was a joke on my behalf, and if your panties are in a bunch I see no reason to have taken that out on me.

 

[daan]

It was a joke

Your post certainly wasn't worded like it was meant to be a joke. By highlighting bits of the story, you make it out that you believe "A Kneejerk" has never watched the show by getting the names of the presenters mixed up. If you were being funny then the, "And it shows" is completely unnecessary.

if your panties are in a bunch I see no reason to have taken that out on me.

Don't assume anything about my mood. I'm in a good mood, as the rest of my posts in this thread indicate, and I don't believe I took anything out on you.