Transformers 4: Age of Extinction, the drinking game!

[niky]

So, you know it's bad, but this is an excellent party movie (if your theater allows it. If not, there's always smuggling a bottle in under your jacket). Draw cards and take a drink when your card tells you to.

I've already got a few ideas:

1. 🤬 Yeah, America! Take a shot whenever the camera pulls out to do a panning shot of golden fields of corn at sunset (it's always sunset at Cade Yeager's house) or adds swelling music to pictures of rustic rural Americana.

2. Girl Power! Take a shot whenever Tessa Yeager flies through a brick wall, an exploding vehicle, a collapsing building or any other assorted wall of sharp, lethal debris without dying a painful death or getting anything more than a few smudges of black make-up on her cheeks.

3.a SHE'S ONLY SEVENTEEN! One shot whenever Cade Yeager says the number seventeen. Bonus: if this card is drawn, all players take shots at every gap / cleavage / skimpy skirt scene / tentacle alien action in this supposedly G-Rated film.

Double Bonus: All players take a shot when Michael Bay explains how to get away with sexing up jailbait in Texas.

3.b Lucky Charms! Every time Marky Mark says Lucky Charms, take a swig. And every time you hear the name Melvin.

4. Die Hard: Take a shot every time Optimus Prime gets stabbed or shot in the chest. You know, where his Spark is? That thing he would die without? Take a shot every time they show the bullet hole on the truck that should have killed him the first time, too.

5. Heroic Fist Pound! Every time someone slams their fist into the ground in frustration, take a double shot.

6. Slow-mo Explosions! Self explanatory.

7. Decapitations! Self-explanatory.

8. Props! Every time the "dog" calls 911. Every time a ship propeller falls out of the sky. Every time the jellyfish come on. Every time an air-conditioner falls out. And every time Marky Mark hits someone with a football.

9. Chevy Lovin' Take a shot for each Chevy-branded Transformer. Bumblebee counts twice. Better have a lot of shot glasses ready at around the two hour mark.

10. Me Grimlock Take a shot every time a Dinobot speaks. Or displays any intelligence. They don't? Unlucky you.

Consolation prize: Take a shot every time a Dinobot falls down or stumbles.

11. Puny Humans. Every time an Autobot points a gun or a sword at a human being.

12. Hail China! Every time a character praises the "Central Government."

13. Leaving on a Jet Plane. Every time a military jet does a flyby and absolutely nothing else useful.

14. Prime Directive. For every single long, boring speech given by Optimus.

15. Ain't got no Stereotypes Here! Take a shot for every black non-hybrid-driving-villain/henchman/evil government agent/offical in the movie.

Consolation prize: take a shot every time a Chinese person does Kung Fu. And every time Li Bingbing comes on screen.

-

So, I didn't hate the movie completely: How can you hate something you watched for free? And nothing is as bad as Revenge of the Fallen or Dark of the Moon, but the obvious multi-branched set-ups for future sequels gives me little hope for the future of cinema.

 

[LightningLord]

I liked Age of Extinction. I thought a couple characters could have been involved more in the movie. But still I enjoyed it. Mainly because I am a Transformers fan. But if anyone were to participate in this drinking game they'd get sent to the hospital for alcohol poisoning. Lol.

 

[niky]

Second best in the series... even if Bay can't decide which direction he wants to take.

Can't have much participation in the movie when you're dead. And Bay does his best to tell us he's killed off 99% of the previous Autobot cast between movies...

 

[sems4arsenal]

So is it worth the cinema ticket?

 

[niky]

Definitely not worth iMAX. The 3D was great and the CGI was very, very good (obviously, ILM... and Bay's hyperkinetic camera work didn't ruin it completely this time... they toned that down), but it's better rented.

Because then you can just fast forward through the boring parts.

Seriously, though... some people will like it, some people will be yawning at the end, and critics will be scratching their heads wondering whether Bay is simply being ironic by taking everything he was criticized for in the past two movies and throwing it back in people's faces.

To be fair, it seems like they fixed some of the issues from the last two movies, but not all of them.

 

[FoRiZon]

Lol Mitsuoka Veyron

 

[prisonermonkeys]

Every time the "dog" calls 911. Every time a ship propeller falls out of the sky. Every time the jellyfish come on. Every time an air-conditioner falls out. And every time Marky Mark hits someone with a football.

Two questions:

1) Does all of that really happen?

And if so ...

2) Why haven't I seen the film yet?

 

[FoRiZon]

Two questions:

1) Does all of that really happen?

And if so ...

2) Why haven't I seen the film yet?

Its Michael Bay so.....

 

[niky]

Two questions:

1) Does all of that really happen?

And if so ...

2) Why haven't I seen the film yet?

1. Yes: Dog, three or four times.

Ship propeller, two or three times... not counting propellers that fall down while still attached to their ships.

Football, twice. The first time simply to tell people that Bay really hates hippie surfers.

2. Because you're apparently an incredibly sane person.

-

The only tihng more embarrassing than the recycling of jokes, scenes and etcetera is the movie merchandising. Some of the stuff they're hawking here not only reinforces the "Made in China" meme... they look like third-class knock-offs.

 

[FoRiZon]

1. Yes: Dog, three or four times.

Ship propeller, two or three times... not counting propellers that fall down while still attached to their ships.

Football, twice. The first time simply to tell people that Bay really hates hippie surfers.

2. Because you're apparently an incredibly sane person.

-

The only tihng more embarrassing than the recycling of jokes, scenes and etcetera is the movie merchandising. Some of the stuff they're hawking here not only reinforces the "Made in China" meme... they look like third-class knock-offs.

Not to mention Steve Jobs expy, unnoticed New York civillians while autobots fighting, and wrong Aventador and Huayra sounds.

I admit the glass building joke was funny though.

 

[niky]

Lots of funny lines, actually. There's a lot to like about this terrible movie. If only the bits between them had been cut out. (Extreme case here of Peter Jackson-itis)

I think "My Face is My Warrant!" is one of the best. Absolutely pointless, senseless and perfectly suited to a movie like this.

 

[vasiliflame]

This is a very irresponsible post like neck nominate that has killed a few in the UK ... Giving the fact lighting lord is 15 as a moderator Iam disgusted how you think this is acceptable to post and encourage these type of games when there are under members under the age of drinking and the film is aimed at a PG 13 audience ..... Shocking you should know better

 

[FoRiZon]

This is a very irresponsible post like neck nominate that has killed a few in the UK ... Giving the fact lighting lord is 15 as a moderator Iam disgusted how you think this is acceptable to post and encourage these type of games when there are under members under the age of drinking and the film is aimed at a PG 13 audience ..... Shocking you should know better

 

[Famine]

This is a very irresponsible post like neck nominate that has killed a few in the UK

Drinking games for crap movies has been around for many decades before Neknominate surfaced.

Giving the fact lighting lord is 15

LightningLord was not addressed by the message. In fact no-one was - it's a new thread.

There are many 13 year olds on GTP - including my daughter. So what?

as a moderator Iam disgusted how you think this is acceptable to post and encourage these type of games when there are under members under the age of drinking and the film is aimed at a PG 13 audience .....

Why?

Shocking you should know better

The only thing shocking is that you've forced me to post in a Transformers movie thread.

 

[Pagey279]

This is a very irresponsible post like neck nominate that has killed a few in the UK ... Giving the fact lighting lord is 15 as a moderator Iam disgusted how you think this is acceptable to post and encourage these type of games when there are under members under the age of drinking and the film is aimed at a PG 13 audience ..... Shocking you should know better

It's just a drinking game, because of one silly internet fad all drinking games have become shocking and irresponsible?

 

[Vagabond]

The question is... are someone's actions their own responsibility or that of someone else?

 

[vasiliflame]

Well well well famine you gone down in my estimation. I thought you were the most balanced of the mods.. Fine if the film was for over 18's but for a film aimed at kids .... But crack on I ain't a mod or have any weight around here I felt it was inappropriate that's why I used the report button.

 

[Famine]

Well well well famine you gone down in my estimation.

Oh no.

I thought you were the most balanced of the mods.. Fine if the film was for over 18's but for a film aimed at kids ....

The first drinking game for a film I ever encountered was Top Gun. The game was to take a drink every time there was something homoerotic and the more careless could certainly hospitalise themselves.

Top Gun was PG. It came out when I was 9.

I've even heard of Countdown drinking games. That show is on at half three on a weekday... Won't someone please think of the elderly, unemployed and children?

But crack on I ain't a mod or have any weight around here I felt it was inappropriate that's why I used the report button.

You need to explain why it's an AUP breach. That's what the report button is for. It doesn't seem to break any one of the points of the AUP, so I'm at a loss.

You can certainly feel it's irresponsible to create a drinking game to go with a particularly crap film aimed towards teenagers, but that doesn't mean it is - no-one is encouraging those teenagers to drink...

 

[Terronium-12]

I ought to take a drink now.

 

[Vagabond]

I ought to take a drink now.

Yes 👍

 

[FoRiZon]

I need to drink.....some water now.

Can we just get along and discuss the movie instead? Heck there are drinking games for childrens cartoons. Its not like somebody see the title and suddenly getting drunk on theater. Its basically the "cooler" version of bingo.

Besides, this movie has a rather blantant Bud Light and subtle Budweiser product placement. So there.

 

[ProjectWHaT]

I'll try this drinking game with my Pepsi.

 

[CoffeeGrunt]

Threads too dangerous guys, we're gunna have to bail it and find an 18+ movie to drink to...I'm genuinely coming up blanks on one I know is definitely 18+.

Either that, or we could not be pedantic and PC about this, and ignore the misanthropic joke-killers.

 

[niky]

PG 13 audience

It could be worse. In this country, the distributor somehow got the ratings board to give the movie a G-rating. Despite the swearing. Despite the discussion of underage sex. Despite the rather grisly death scenes and robot decapitations.

This movie is about as fit for underage audiences as a striptease behind a shower curtain.

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Our site rules prohibit swearing, nudity and the discussion or promotion of illegal activities. Drinking, done by adults, isn't illegal.

On this site, we discuss abortion, the legalization of marijuana, smoking, vaping, the legislation of drunk driving, politics, religion and politics, driving, "relationships" and other such adult-oriented matters.

While the site is open to minors, we're not obliged to make all discussions discussions for minors. Otherwise we couldn't talk about driving... at all.

If you would like a disclaimer stating that minors shouldn't participate in this drinking game... well... now that you've said it, it's there.

 

[prisonermonkeys]

Second best in the series... even if Bay can't decide which direction he wants to take.

I found REVENGE to be disappointing because I felt with a few minor tweaks to characters, it could have been brilliant stuff.

Specifically, the film portrays The Fallen as hating humans, but never goes into detail as to why. It would not have been difficult to portray him as having put the sun-harvesting pyramid thing on earth, unaware that humans were evolving there. When it came time to turn it on, the other Primes discovered humanity, and accused The Fallen of wrongdoing, which drove him mad. The stuff that Sam sees when he touches the fragment of the cube is the burden of leadership among the Autobots - the knowledge that The Fallen was innocent all along.

My issue is that every single character speaks at a million miles per hour, and they're all as crazy as possible. One or two, like a secret agents who takes his job way too seriously and enjoys his access to ultra-classified stuff entirely too much, is fine. But when every character is like that, it just becomes unbearable.

 

[niky]

So it wasn't the dangling balls that got to you? But yeah, that story idea actually had some potential. Mostly wasted.

 

[prisonermonkeys]

So it wasn't the dangling balls that got to you?

No. It's a Michael Bay film, so you go in expecting stuff like that. Besides, that particular transformer was supposed to be much more primal and animalistic than the others. So in context, it actually worked. Although none of the transformers used to assemble it had wrecking balls.

Also, the set-up for the third film with the space race conspiracy, was also really good. But once again, the execution fell apart.

 

[Sage Ages]

This is a very irresponsible post like neck nominate that has killed a few in the UK ... Giving the fact lighting lord is 15 as a moderator Iam disgusted how you think this is acceptable to post and encourage these type of games when there are under members under the age of drinking and the film is aimed at a PG 13 audience ..... Shocking you should know better

I'm pretty sure he's trying to tell us that the movie is 🤬 and not that we should be drinking.

Actually, it's just plain obvious. He's telling us that it's crap and I think we can agree on that. That was literally the only point.

 

[sems4arsenal]

Just seen this, why did I expect something different than the rest I have no idea, I don't know which is worse, this or revenge of the fallen. 4/10 (for car porn and dynos).

 

[niky]

@sems4arsenal - expectations were borne by a false sense of optimism engendered by a non-critical mindset encouraged by the multi-billion dollar American movie industry?

Also, FnF is better car porn.