on cars with carb, I look at the ECU upgrade as a re-jet and tune up of said carbs, the performance gains are close to performance gains in life, the cat option however, bugs the hell out me.
Except that carburettor tuning is far more constrained than modern ECU tuning for fueling alone; what you gain in one are you will lose elsewhere - multi-dimensional fueling maps don't have that limitation, certainly not to anywhere near the same degree. In reality the modern ECU controls more than just fueling - namely ignition and cam timing, too, as well as boost where applicable.
A lot of old engines use mechanical distributors that can be a weak spot when it comes to "tuning", for example; should that be added as well? If so, how? It starts to get very complicated, which I don't mind at all, but how do you keep it sane for those that do mind?
Another thing, though, even with modern cars (or especially so, perhaps) is that fitting high-flow cats and a low-restriction air filter is just as likely to cause the engine to perform worse as it is to make it perform better. As such, exhaust upgrades etc. shouldn't "work" until the ECU is re-mapped to suit. So what, exactly, is the ECU upgrade actually for in the game, when it is technically included in every other upgrade?
That aside, I see the ECU upgrade as more than just a re-map, but a sort of "conversion" into the modern regime, perhaps even more than that still: a bespoke tuning ECU, with all the extra control that offers.