Walking across the street

[phillgt2002]

This isn't ordinary just walking across. Walking home from class in a mainly white campus area, I was approaching some girl and she did a sharp right noticed a car was coming and just froze, looked at me for a second and kept walking. This was like two feet away from me. For any of you that experience this you know exactly what's going on, crossing the street to avoid a minority, its happened to me many times and I've seen it blatantly happen. What the hell is wrong with people? I'm not even a weird looking guy too. i did have my finals week face on though.

 

[Zenith]

Woe is you. Somebody decided to walk on the other side of the street. Tar and feather them. Sharpen your pitchforks, boys. Burn the witch.

Offense is taken, not given.

 

[phillgt2002]

Woe is you. Somebody decided to walk on the other side of the street. Tar and feather them. Sharpen your pitchforks, boys. Burn the witch.

Offense is taken, not given.

Odd response. You may have not noticed or had this happen to you but you will notice this, especially in a area without many minorities if you are one. I would literally just say 'hows it going' to someone and they just look at me with a face like I'm committing a crime. Make it as comical as you want. It's evident to me and many others but it may not be to you.

 

[Zenith]

I can assure you I have lived in places with minorities.

My point is pretty simple: Some people don't want to talk to you. There's nothing wrong with that. Deal with it without taking it personally and you'll find a happier life.

 

[phillgt2002]

I can assure you I have lived in places with minorities.

My point is pretty simple: Some people don't want to talk to you. There's nothing wrong with that. Deal with it without taking it personally and you'll find a happier life.

I understand that people don't want to talk sometimes, there have seen many odd things that people do while walking down the street. I was walking with a friend to class and this man with I guess his child was looking at us with huge eyes and shielded his sons eyes from looking at us. Generally getting away from the main point but still. After being observant of these kinds of things for a while, you truly know the intentions.

 

[Keef]

She's a girl. Girls tend to be cautious when they're alone. They're brought up being told that everybody is out to rape them.

When somebody is walking determinedly toward me with an unkind face on it makes me suspicious of what they're doing. Being frustrated and stressed about finals will give you that face and when you put that face on a big black guy that little white girl is either gonna holla or get the hell out of dodge. I guess she just wasn't that into you. @phillkillv2

 

[Danoff]

I'm a normal looking white guy - not particularly threatening. I've had women do this to me too, and I don't take offense. If I were black, I'd probably assume it was because I was black.

 

[Keef]

I'm a normal looking white guy - not particularly threatening. I've had women do this to me too, and I don't take offense. If I were black, I'd probably assume it was because I was black.

You've inspired me to spend the day assuming everything that happens to me is because I'm white. I want to know what it feels like to think I'm hated.

 

[Danoff]

Actually, if I see young children in my path, I often cross the street voluntarily to avoid them - especially if I don't see an adult and especially if I have my dogs with me. I'm concerned that they'll come up to me and ask me something and an angry mother will come running out of the house or something to make sure I'm not abducting them because I'm an evil man. My dogs are child magnets - it's not far fetched.

If it's dark, and nobody is around, and I'm walking toward a woman who I think might feel threatened, I will cross the street voluntarily then too to prevent her from having to. I've done it before.

 

[wfooshee]

Echoing the statements of several.... women walking alone can be very defensive about their "bubble," and that bubble will be way larger than it has any need to be.

To Keef, if it will help you to imagine yourself being hated, I've always hated you! Not because you're white.... Maybe Ohio has something to do with it; I'll find a reason. Just accept the hate!

 

[250 GTO]

If we take the whole black/white/minority ting out of the equation.
Why are you so afraid of/paranoid when walking the streets of your own country/neighborhoods? You dont see a problem with that? And the examples some of you mention, did they take place in some ghetto like areas, or is that just everyday way of life in American cities?
You see a bunch of kids but are afraid of any kind of interaction because you are fear someone will think the worst of you?!

It all seems a bit strange to me.

 

[a6m5]

I always try to smile, say 'hi', nod, whatever. Most of the time, guys or girls, they do same. Sometimes they avoid eye contact, give me dirty looks & great once in awhile, they cross the street(is this what happened?), and I just don't care.

P.S. I'm Asian.

 

[Adamgp]

I always try to avoid people everywhere I go, regardless of gender, race, age, etc.

 

[Danoff]

You see a bunch of kids but are afraid of any kind of interaction because you are fear someone will think the worst of you?!

Not at all. If I see a couple of children playing in front of their house... like say, siblings on bicycles, and let's say I'm walking my dogs. I don't cross the street because I think someone will think badly of me, I cross the street because I don't want to bother the mom inside who sees her children run up to a strange man in front of her house. It has nothing to do with me, and more to do with making the people around me comfortable.

 

[250 GTO]

Well that's kind of my point. You have to go out of your way, litterally, so as not to make someone els uncomfortable... What does she have to be uncomfortable about? All you do is walking your dog. And so what if her kids talk to you or pet your dog. In my mind it's wrong that she assumes there is anything dangerous about the situation. But then again, it could be you who are wrong, for assuming she thinks like that... Does it make sense, what I'm trying to get at? :-)
I guess it kind of comes down to trust, or the lack of it... Instantly thinking the worst of someone/something

 

[Danoff]

Well that's kind of my point. You have to go out of your way, litterally, so as not to make someone els uncomfortable... What does she have to be uncomfortable about? All you do is walking your dog. And so what if her kids talk to you or pet your dog. In my mind it's wrong that she assumes there is anything dangerous about the situation. But then again, it could be you who are wrong, for assuming she thinks like that... Does it make sense, what I'm trying to get at? :-)
I guess it kind of comes down to trust, or the lack of it... Instantly thinking the worst of someone/something

I might be wrong, but if not, oh well no harm done. It costs me nothing to cross the street, and in exchange there is a chance that I have saved someone a little stress. It seems like a courteous thing to do.

Women learn very early on (around puberty) how their presence and actions affect the people around them. Everything from what they wear to what they say. It is a very male concept to pretend that your presence doesn't affect the people around you, or that that's their problem and you should just go about your business blindly.

You can choose to look like this:

...and say that anyone that assumes that there is anything untrustworthy about you, or assumes anything about you at all needs to get over it and learn who you are on the inside, but what you do and even just where you are affects the people around you. I make small efforts - like crossing the street - to make others more comfortable at awkward moments.


Along these lines, I try to be aware of situations where I'm alone with strange women or children and avoid those situations. Even if for no other reason that to eliminate the possibility of false accusation of something. We considered hiring a (female) nanny to watch our daughter, but because I work from home the possibility of a false accusation made it impossible for us to do.

 

[a6m5]

Interesting topic. When I'm walking behind someone when there's nobody else around, especially if I'm following a female, I do look for way to keep distance somehow(pass, cross the street, etc.). Done it my entire adult life, but never even actually thought about it until you guys mentioned it. I'm such a great guy! *pats myself on the back*

 

[LeMansAid]

This isn't ordinary just walking across. Walking home from class in a mainly white campus area, I was approaching some girl and she did a sharp right noticed a car was coming and just froze, looked at me for a second and kept walking. This was like two feet away from me. For any of you that experience this you know exactly what's going on, crossing the street to avoid a minority, its happened to me many times and I've seen it blatantly happen. What the hell is wrong with people? I'm not even a weird looking guy too. i did have my finals week face on though.

You are no less guilty of judging than she may have been. You seem to disregard what her experiences potentially are.

People that have been attacked by a dog, may well avoid dogs. It's human nature to learn from our experiences, yet political correctness often asks us to dismiss our experiences.

Basically, you thought the worst of her, because you think she thought the worst of you. You really are just perpetuating the cycle of what seems to bother you so much. Take a chill pill phillkill.

 

[Danoff]

Interesting topic. When I'm walking behind someone when there's nobody else around, especially if I'm following a female, I do look for way to keep distance somehow(pass, cross the street, etc.). Done it my entire adult life, but never even actually thought about it until you guys mentioned it. I'm such a great guy! *pats myself on the back*

*pats you on the back too*

I suspect that lots of men actually do this without thinking about it.

 

[CinnamonOD]

Let's just say that people who talked with me several times have told me that I don't seem like a friendly person

Put this one a Clint Eastwood western movie stare and that's me

I think that how you look or your facial expressions affect the decision of people sharing the sidewalk with you ride the nope train to the other side of the street, independently of your race

 

[Keef]

I might be wrong, but if not, oh well no harm done. It costs me nothing to cross the street, and in exchange there is a chance that I have saved someone a little stress. It seems like a courteous thing to do.

Women learn very early on (around puberty) how their presence and actions affect the people around them. Everything from what they wear to what they say. It is a very male concept to pretend that your presence doesn't affect the people around you, or that that's their problem and you should just go about your business blindly.

You can choose to look like this:

...and say that anyone that assumes that there is anything untrustworthy about you, or assumes anything about you at all needs to get over it and learn who you are on the inside, but what you do and even just where you are affects the people around you. I make small efforts - like crossing the street - to make others more comfortable at awkward moments.

Seems like a sissy thing to do. Maybe it's the big Cali city boy in you but when somebody passes me on the sidewalk I say something like "Hey, how are you?" And they'll be polite back. That is courteous. Crossing the street to avoid or "spare" somebody would rub me as cowardly and I'd probably label that person an asshole if it wasn't clear that they were busy with something, i.e. riding a bike or skating or walking dogs, etc.

I agree that it can be a little awkward approaching somebody from a distance, especially if you've already noticed each other and you're both counting down to the right moment to say hello. And inevitably both say hello at exactly the same time. But many times awkwardness like that is funny too so I don't bother sparing anybody. If they can't handle it then they can cross the street around me.

*pats you on the back too*

I suspect that lots of men actually do this without thinking about it.

I've considered this at school a lot because you might be following somebody through the halls for quite a while. I don't walk close behind girls, mainly because it would be terribly obvious that I'm checking out her ass. I prefer to enjoy the view from a distance where it's not blatantly disrespectful.

And then there are stairs...

 

[homeforsummer]

everything that happens to me is because I'm white.

It's more likely because you look like Artie Ziff.

 

[Encyclopedia]

There could be many reasons people chose to cross the street when you approach, one being the way you look. And to some sad individuals, the colour of your skin. I have no trouble believing that happens to minorities from time to time.

I can't say I'm noticing it happening in my own life, other than perhaps girls speeding up a bit sometimes when I've been out walking late at night. I try to stay back and act "not suspicously" if I'm walking near a girl that is alone. It seems like a respectful thing to do.

 

[phillgt2002]

It's more likely because you look like Artie Ziff.

That is not a good thing.

 

[Danoff]

Seems like a sissy thing to do. Maybe it's the big Cali city boy in you but when somebody passes me on the sidewalk I say something like "Hey, how are you?" And they'll be polite back. That is courteous. Crossing the street to avoid or "spare" somebody would rub me as cowardly and I'd probably label that person an asshole if it wasn't clear that they were busy with something, i.e. riding a bike or skating or walking dogs, etc.

You must have missed my previous posts supplying context to crossing the street. I don't cross the street to avoid saying howdy.

 

[XS]

Most people don't like how I look. I wear biker rags during the summer (because my motorcycle becomes my primary means of transportation). I work a blue collar dirty job and I usually have to go out into public between my shift and home. Add all this up and I usually get rich folks who practically run for me, business owners who follow me around, and thugs who think I'm looking for a fight. It doesn't bother me, because I realize humans have basic prejudices that we rely on to exist. The day we give those prejudices up is the day we're no longer human. No matter what is forced into our heads, no matter how hard we try, no matter what, we will always develop and rely on prejudices, no matter how small and innocent or big and offensive. Those of us which think about our prejudices before we act upon them are the rare ones. It's easy to blame someone for acting on their prejudice, but in reality those who think before they act (to avoid offending someone) are the minority.

 

[LMSCorvetteGT2]

Are you guys sure it isn't because most of you are ugly

 

[Danoff]

Most people don't like how I look. I wear biker rags during the summer (because my motorcycle becomes my primary means of transportation). I work a blue collar dirty job and I usually have to go out into public between my shift and home. Add all this up and I usually get rich folks who practically run for me, business owners who follow me around, and thugs who think I'm looking for a fight. It doesn't bother me, because I realize humans have basic prejudices that we rely on to exist. The day we give those prejudices up is the day we're no longer human. No matter what is forced into our heads, no matter how hard we try, no matter what, we will always develop and rely on prejudices, no matter how small and innocent or big and offensive. Those of us which think about our prejudices before we act upon them are the rare ones. It's easy to blame someone for acting on their prejudice, but in reality those who think before they act (to avoid offending someone) are the minority.

So why would you put yourself at that disadvantage?

 

[XS]

I wear my rag to soak up the sweat in my helmet. I have to get gas or pick groceries up after work. I'm not putting myself at a disadvantage. And yes I could drive home first, change my clothes, shave, then go to the bank/grocery store/gas station, but really I don't care. I'm not bothered by prejudices against me.

 

[Slash]

Most people don't like how I look. I wear biker rags during the summer (because my motorcycle becomes my primary means of transportation). I work a blue collar dirty job and I usually have to go out into public between my shift and home. Add all this up and I usually get rich folks who practically run for me, business owners who follow me around, and thugs who think I'm looking for a fight. It doesn't bother me, because I realize humans have basic prejudices that we rely on to exist. The day we give those prejudices up is the day we're no longer human. No matter what is forced into our heads, no matter how hard we try, no matter what, we will always develop and rely on prejudices, no matter how small and innocent or big and offensive. Those of us which think about our prejudices before we act upon them are the rare ones. It's easy to blame someone for acting on their prejudice, but in reality those who think before they act (to avoid offending someone) are the minority.

Nothing wrong with that 👍