Let's use this handy map to establish corner numbers, and I'll go through it step by step. I'm not the world's greatest driver, but I'll do my best.
Turn 1: You turned in a little too hard, and possibly a little too early. See how your car twitched mid-corner and you had to correct? That lost you time, and put you off-line for the next corner. You want to be coming through there as smoothly as possible, keeping as much speed as you can and staying on the right line. The right line is more or less on the black tyre marks that you can see running through the apex of T1 and 2. Slow down as much as you have to in order to stay on that, and you'll be faster.
Turn 2: Is compromised by you being off-line from your aggressive T1. You ran too far out to the left, costing you time and scrubbing speed. You really need to try and stay at least right of centre of the track to give yourself the best set up for the next corner. Again, the black marks of the racing line show you where you should probably be.
Turn 3: Not too bad. If you get the previous two corners right, you'll find that you're in a better position to take a wide line and carry more speed through. A little wobble mid corner, but nothing major.
Turn 4: Your corner entry was on the right track, you've got to trail brake your way into the apex while turning in. However, it's a long corner and you gave up the apex very early, meaning your exit left you way on the other side of the track. Try and follow the black racing line again. You should be hugging the inside curb of that corner and should be roughly in the middle of the track when you exit the tunnel. Don't get too far to the right, it's distance that you don't need to cover and it makes you scramble to get back in line for the next corner.
Turn 5: You can carry a lot more speed and run your exit out a lot wider through here. Sacrifice some of your entry speed if you have to.
Turns 6 and 7: Decent. I think you could stay further left through 6 and turn into 7 a bit later, but that's just me. If anything it'll make the next bit easier.
Turn 8: This is one of the most important corners on the track. You've got a massive straight after it, so getting a good exit gains you lots and lots of time.
You want to be against the right tunnel wall more or less as you enter the tunnel. You need the car as far over on the right as early as possible, and straight. What you're gonna aim to do is cut straight across that yellow lined section on the inside of the corner. It can be tough to get right, but when you do get it it's so much faster it's not even funny. You'll start turning in a decent way from the tunnel exit, almost clip the left hand tunnel wall as you exit, fly across that yellow bit and find that your momentum carries you just up to the right hand wall in the second tunnel.
You'll know when you get it, the only problem is that the window for entry is small and if you stuff it up you probably hit a wall.
Turn 9: You want to be on the yellow stuff again. It's a long corner, so expect to be hugging the inside curb for a while. Get your braking done early, get into that yellow zone and hold it. You'll have to experiment with what works for you for finding a marker for when to accelerate out of the corner, but the line that you want to be on is shown by the black racing line on the road.
Turns 10 and 11: These are just here to make the entry into 12 harder.
Turn 12: This is a funny corner. You understeered way off line, which is the usual problem. Brake deeper into the corner, and brake earlier if you have to, but don't let your car get that wide that early. The black racing line shows you where you should be aiming for.
Turn 13: You just missed the apex. Brake a little earlier, turn a little earlier, you'll make the corner a bit shallower which lets you carry more speed, and you won't have to travel quite as far either.
Turns 14 and 15: The other most important corners of the track. You got sideways through them, and had to correct. What you should be aiming for is to brake for 14, turn in, and basically nail the throttle as you hit the apex. You've got tons of room on the exit of 15, so if you set yourself up right then you can just go for it once you're past the apex of 14.
In summary, a lot of your problem is your line. The lap
@Lewis_Hamilton_ posted is a great example of the line you should be aiming for. If you have to slow down at first to do it, then so be it. Once you get comfortable with it, you'll find that there's a lot more speed to be had that simply isn't accessable the way you're driving the car now.
When you're practising, watch your replays from one of the chase views and see if your car is on the black marked racing line. It's not always totally optimal, but if you're too far from it you could almost certainly be going faster on it.
I'm not sure if you're on a wheel or a pad. If you're on a pad it makes it tougher, but try hard to work on your smoothness, especially of steering inputs. Wherever possible it should be a gentle push into the apex of the corner, and then a gentle release as you come out.
Good luck, hope that helps.
. My bad.
There are a whole bunch of lap times from 
