What do your B-spec drivers say about YOU?

[Parnelli Bone]

Just a dumb idea for a thread, ha ha. Well we all know what we say to our B-spec drivers. Usually it's something similar to...

"NO DON'T TAKE IT ON THE INSIDE YOU 🤬!" "WHAT ARE YOU DOING? NO! NO! NO! I COULD DRIVE THAT PIECE OF 🤬 BETTER THAN YOU YOU STUPID 🤬 ROBOT PIECE OF 🤬! "YO THIS AIN'T A PARKING LOT! STOMP THAT :censored:ING GAS PEDAL NOW!!!!"

*ahem* But what do they say about us?

Since we do the same races side by side (A and B-spec are run at the same tracks, I'm noticing) I'm always imagining my B-spec drivers gazing in awe as I cook those laps with dozens of horsepower less than they could manage!

"Parnelli, you are God!" they say. "How did you manage to outwit the crowd with just 90 horsepower!" "Stick at it, Pedro. It's all in the finesse". I tell him. "I once was like you. Totally green, taking corners too hot, long ago in the GT1 series Sunday Cup. But I have grown, young grasshoppa. And so shall you".

Of course, they never get as good as me!

Yea I'm out of my mind starting this thread, but if anybody roleplays a similar situation, have a holla here!

 

[SirAlanClive]

Mine might well say "Who's pushing your buttons then?" To which I have to reply: "My wife, my boss and you if you don't learn to overtake without kissing the car infront every time!"

 

[BKViper]

If my Bob was walking by and you asked him about me, he would suddenly stop for no reason, stare at you for a few seconds, say "Overtake?" with a confused look on his face, and then run past you, smack his head off the nearest wall and stumble out of the room.

 

[SquareTire]

In the last race (Lamborghini Exclusive) I think I heard him say: "@#$%&!, leave me alone, I can't race with you constantly in my ear!"

But he won anyway (surely thanks to my sage advice).

Otherwise he's happy, since I gave him a Ferrari for his own exclusive use (didn't tell him, that I won it though, and that I don't much care for the California anyway).

 

[sdstig]

I actually imagined this when I started B-spec and saw how terrible the drivers are:

I'm the manager of Bob. I'm an old retired racing driver. He turns in terrible lap times. I then go in the same car on the same track and manage a better lap time from a stand still (1st lap) then he does the entire race, all while "not having driven around a track for many years and having never been in the car." Then I say that if I suck, what's the make him? I just imagine him looking down, sighing, and rubbing his neck in shame.





Yes I have a weird imagination

 

[Eskimojos]

I say he makes me feel like a proud parent. The overwhelming pride that surged through me when, after a ton of patience during which while I guided and moulded him, I saw him NOT brake unnecessarily early and actually put a move up the inside of someone and then smartly close the door on them. It was all worth it in the end.

 

[Whitestar]

My driver doesn't say much, but I think he's had enough of me.

In the historic race in Monaco he crashed into the fence in the last turn before the finish line every single lap. And on the last lap, just to be sure he crashed there again, then backed up at least 10 metres, and then crashed again.

Must have been some sort of non-verbal protest. Why can't he just tell it to my face? I feel we are not communicating anymore.

 

[Dennisch]

He would say to me :

I'm sorry boss, I scratched up that fine SLS you gave me to race.

oh, and I won the race, thanks to you and your breathtaking good advice.

And then I smack him in the face, so he stays afraid of me.

 

[Parnelli Bone]

In the last race (Lamborghini Exclusive) I think I heard him say: "@#$%&!, leave me alone, I can't race with you constantly in my ear!"

Ha ha yes! I think some of my drivers get sick of me constantly telling them what to do. But that's because I KNOW what to do, and they often don't!

Must have been some sort of non-verbal protest. Why can't he just tell it to my face? I feel we are not communicating anymore.

 

[revesburger]

"You don't have to mash the buttons that much... Are you the kind of people who press the button twice to call the Lift?"

 

[Parnelli Bone]

"...again Parnelli....my name...is...not....BOB! It's PETRUCHIO! SAY IT! PETRUCHIO! NOT BOB!"

 

[Liquid]

My drivers would definitely hold a meeting and arrange a hitman to take me out. P.Martini, E.Bernard and M.Schuhmacher cannot live up to their Formula 1 namesakes and the pressure their manager exerts on them is just too much. I.Rush would just be perplexed why he's entered in an American Championship race and not playing for Liverpool.

 

[Dennisch]

"...again Parnelli....my name...is...not....BOB! It's PETRUCHIO! SAY IT! PETRUCHIO! NOT BOB!"

👍

 

[jugglingj0hn]

Mine would say, "Can I please stop racing? I havn't seen my family in weeks."

 

[drivingmeinsane]

Mine might well say "Who's pushing your buttons then?" To which I have to reply: "My wife, my boss and you if you don't learn to overtake without kissing the car infront every time!"

At least they ain't slamming into the walls of Sarth 1 and 2 and the short ring in Gt4 costing you the race....


My bob is bitching i don't pay him, he says he has a family of 12 kids, i told him to get a day job singing since his driving skills suck so much.

 

[SirAlanClive]

I can see this conversation happening:

Bob - "you're driving me insane"
drivingmeinsane - "Of course I am"
Bob - "You mean it's deliberate?"
drivingminsane - "What?"
Bob - "You cruel bastard"
drivingmeinsane - "Jeez this guy's a retard"

End of Bob.

 

[drivingmeinsane]

I can see this conversation happening:

Bob - "you're driving me insane"
drivingmeinsane - "Of course I am"
Bob - "You mean it's deliberate?"
drivingminsane - "What?"
Bob - "You cruel bastard"
drivingmeinsane - "Jeez this guy's a retard"

End of Bob.

I would have written it like this:



Bob1 - "you're driving me insane"
drivingmeinsane - "Of course I am"
Bob1 - "You mean it's deliberate?"
drivingminsane - "You're the one that just took my X2010 and raced the Lemans 24HR on your own without pay while the other Bobs sat at home playing the PS3 and eating popcorn...what do you think?"
Bob1 - "You cruel bastard"
drivingmeinsane - "I didn't put a gun to your head and force you to do it...Bob, you are a grade-A moron!"


Bob1 Climbs back into the cockpit of the X2010 for another 24hr single handed race, this act reaffirms drivingmeinsane's belief that Bob1 is a moron.

 

[SirAlanClive]

I don't think you got the joke....;-)

It's a bit Monty Pythonesque.

Let me try again ;-)

Bob - "mumble mumble....driving me insane"
drivingmeinsane - "Yes?"
Bob - "You mean it's deliberate?"
drivingminsane - "What?"
Bob - "You cruel bastard"
drivingmeinsane - "Jeez this guy's a retard"

 

[drivingmeinsane]

I never liked Monty Python

 

[SirAlanClive]

I give up ;-)

 

[drivingmeinsane]

I got the Joke once you pointed it out...but i still hate MP

 

[Rx8fanboy]

Me and H.Potter had a serious conversation last night about how it's not ok to zap other drivers with your wand half way through the race

 

[OLDSKOOLACURA]

if my bob was walking by and you asked him about me, he would suddenly stop for no reason, stare at you for a few seconds, say "overtake?" with a confused look on his face, and then run past you, smack his head off the nearest wall and stumble out of the room.

lmao

 

[Jesus]

I think my BOB would say: Stop complaining that I dont drive well, I was only born a few months ago and theres too much pressure on me. I may as well kill my self. To which I would reply: Well the way your driving i'm surprised your not dead already. And if you die I can take over. HAPPY DAYS!

 

[mr_brookenstein]

In a similar way; Do you have a favourite Bob? You know, he delivers 9 times out of ten, doesn't need babysitting, gets to drive the boss's new cars before the other Bob's first choice for races etc, my favourite even flicks the tail out a little on certain courses, not major drifts, just enough to say "Hey ! How good am I ? Eh!"

 

[dekciw]

Once I realized Bob is mentally something near to a goat, I knew I have to learn how to tune my car. And after that we live long and happy.

 

[KrazyM82]

...That fat moth$%^&# is always pushin my buttons...GET A JOB!!

 

[Neo_Xsendra]

Welcome to "Meeting with the Bobs"

Me: "We're here to discuss whats up with you guys. So Richard. Would you begin?"
Richard: "Me? Oh. Okay. I just have a simple quenstion: ARE F$%&§ NUTS DEAKTIVATING MY BRAKES AT DAYTON?!? I COULD DIE!!"
Me: "Come on. You didn't even make a scratch in the car... erm ... McDonald?"
McDonald: "Have you been serius to let my first ride be a 4h race with ******* Miatas?"
Me: "It wasn't to hard. You only did 6 Laps in that time...and you did well. Kramer?"
Kramer: "Well The endurence race wasn't that bad. and im new here to so ... everythings fine..."
Me: "Good to hear. Duke?"
Duke: "Well. Why wont i get the REALLY COOL rides? At least i've even letting my weapons home for you..."
Me: "Well. You drove the 908."
Duke: "Yeah this thing was cool."
Me: "And the FGT"
Duke: "But its a purple and white one."
Me: "Good point. But you drove the Red RX7, the Blue n black Citroen GT Race-Car and the black furai..."
Richard: "Woh woh woh. Am i the only one have to drive with polos, miatas, and ****ing vize and all that ****?"
Duke: "Yeah. exept the Miata."
Richard: "DAMMIT! Not even this ford truck?"
Duke: "Not even the ford truck..."
Richard: "GOD DAMMIT!"
Lvl0Bob: "Hey! What about me? I didn't even drive once!"
Me: "Who the **** are you? And why do you look like Richard?"
Duke: "You wife hired him."
Richard: "Wow ... now im glad im at your team."
Kramer: "Me to."
McDonald: "Oh yes..."
Duke: "Hell Yeah"
Me: "Thanks Boys..."
Lvl0Bob: "But but ..."
Me: "Your not in the team. go away..."
Lvl0Bob: *sobs*
Duke: "Sucker!"

 

[mickismick]

I'd say: "Bob, you're as good as any racer can get. You've never lost a race, and I can leave you unsupervised in any race while I read GTP. Remember that time I left you on lap 3 of 37 in the FGT Championship and you won by 45 seconds?!?! You make me proud. Take the weekend off, I'll get Bob's 2 to 6 to grind 24 hour Le Mans and the two of us can grab a beer; my shout!"

Bob would then say: "Thanks boss. It'd be great to take the weekend off, I have so much money from all my winnings to spend."

I would then say: "You mean MY winnings!"

Bob would reply: "What you talkin' bout boss! Where's my money!?!"

I'd reply: "It's gone towards my car collection of 230+ fantastic vehicles, but I'll let you drive some of them."

Bob would then threaten to quit, we'd make a deal to let him drive some of the nicer cars, and he'd come back to work for me. We'd then invest together in several major vehicle manufacturers, computing companies, and other high gain share markets. We'd become billionaires together, which is way more than the measly 20 million GT credits that you can earn racing, and we'd never have to race again. We would of course race again, but for fun rather than profit.

 

[allen-XY]

My bob never talk and never complain. lol. The only word I ever heard he say is 'OK'. I guess his brain is smaller than a peanut. but he can drive the fgt without head light at night in the le mans 24 hr.