UKGTP9 - The Nono Results & Media Thread

And so, the ninth incarnation of the United Kingdom Gran Turismo Party came to pass, and lo, it was good.

And Nono drivers, if some of this sounds decidedly unfamiliar, well... never let the facts get in the way of a good story.

'The Nono' - UKGTP9
Saturday​

Venari arrived having vastly overestimated the time required to get to the venue, however, this was fortuitous as our host landlord David hadn't realised we were turning up quite so early. Some swift negotiation with the reinemachefrau meant the room would be up and ready for 9.40am. Just before this, the UKGTP crew entirely blocked the carpark in perfect formation and the event started in earnest with some rapid reversing and autotest-like parking manoeuvers before unloading the cars.

Moments later, the kit was being assembled equally rapidly, and soon we had our (almost) full complement of: Car-Less, daan, Exelero, Famine, HoldenHSV, Roo, Specialized, SureShot, TheCracker and Venari. Milford Cubicle was also gracing us with her extremely helpful presence, being organisational and providing behind-the-scenes order to things while Famine and I fluffed and wittered on.

Which reminds me... Stevisiov, are you alright, fella?


As I recall, we were pretty much up and running by 11am, and ten (um, nine-and-a-half?) racers were ready to race after a drivers' briefing that was comedic only because of the lack of preparation and deadpan/confused delivery by yours truly - and the stipulation that there should be no swearing because this was a 'family pub'.

So, onto the racing. As is traditional, the event starts with a handicap race:

Event 1: The Classics Handicap

A nice scary start to the event: oldtimers provide slidy antics from the off, especially when the start car is the torquey Jensen Interceptor, and the tyres are not super stickies... sports mediums on all cars in the Classics Handicap. Top two drivers from each LAN would graduate to the next car (in this case, the BMW 2002 Turbo) and swap LANs.

Following the BMW, drivers graduate to the '73 Skyline 2000GT-R, then the Alfa Duetto, then the stalwart Triumph Spitfire and finally the 'very slow' Autobianchi A112.

One thing we found at the Dutcho was that car colour choice could be important for replays, so to get into the swing of that, I made sure everyone declared their colours at the beginning of the race... which of course soon degenerated into the gutter with some of the colour descriptions...

Race 1: Seoul - All Jensen Interceptor lineup.

Venari changed Famine's randomised running order at the last minute. The tracklist was to begin with Suzuka West (and Famine was looking forward to everyone barrelling up to the first corner at 110mph... and ploughing straight on into the temporary bales and gravel trap.) Of course, this cunning plan was put to bed by the selection of Seoul as the first track. Instead, everyone barrelled up to the first corner at 110mph, and then ploughed straight on into the Armco.

First corner dispatched with lots of amusing swearwords () the racing truly began.

LAN 1
1st Car-Less - Tangerine
2nd Famine - Royal Blue
3rd Roo - Black
4th HoldenHSV - White
5th daan - Yellow

LAN 2
1st SureShot - Mustard
2nd Specialized - Fawn Metallic
3rd TheCracker - Green
4th Venari - Red
(Where did Exelero go?)

Venari and daan getting off to shaky starts in the grip-free lunacy that was Jensens at Seoul. There was plenty of bouncing around and everyone was nosing the big coupe very carefully into the 'dumb-bell' and very gingerly easing it out. Except perhaps for Venari. Hard battles all around otherwise, which set the tone for what was to become a hard-charging event all around.

So, Car-Less, Famine, SureShot and Spec move onto the Bimmer.

Race 2: SSR5

And so, the darkened Japanese streets welcome the classics, with new German blood added into the mix.

LAN 1
1st Roo - Black Jensen
2nd daan - Yellow Jensen
3rd SureShot - White BMW
4th Spec - Green BMW
5th HoldenHSV - White Jensen

LAN 2
1st Venari - Red Jensen
2nd TheCracker - Green Jensen
3rd Famine - White BMW
4th Car-Less - Black BMW

The BMW proved no match for the big British bruiser on the straights, and only an unlucky (and very tired) HoldenHSV kissed the armco more than once to nurse the Jensen home after the BMWs. Meanwhile, Roo, daan, Venari and TheCracker powerslid and flicked their way to the Turbo.

Race 3: New York

Holden perked up immediately when he realised his White charger was going to have a good chance on the long straights of New York. With everyone else in the BMW, there was going to be some close draughting battles on the way too. Exelero finally found the keys to her Fawn metallic Jensen also and took a seat in the East Coast sunlight.

LAN 1
1st HoldenHSV - White Jensen
2nd SureShot - White BMW
3rd Speciaized - Silver BMW
4th Venari - Black BMW
5th TheCracker - Green BMW

LAN 2
1st Famine - White BMW
2nd Car-Less - Silver BMW
3rd Roo - Black BMW
4th daan - Green BMW
5th Exelero - Fawn Jensen

Well, white was the colour to have in NY. Holden made the Jensen a speck in the distance while the BMWs battled hard for tighter lines and nailing the draught-pass-and-brake maneouevers. HoldenHSV had that fun to come, graduating to the BMW while SureShot, Famine and Car-Less looked forward to some Japanese steel.

Race 4: Infineon/Sears Point Sport

Venari rubbed his hands and grinned wolfishly at the track selection, and took to the wheel of the "don't want that one" green BMW with relish...

LAN 1
1st Venari - Green BMW
2nd Specialized - Black BMW
3rd Car-Less - Red Skyline
4th Famine - White Skyline
5th TheCracker - Silver BMW

LAN 2
1st Roo - Black BMW
2nd daan - Green BMW
3rd SureShot - Red Skyline
4th HoldenHSV - White BMW
5th Exelero - Fawn Jensen

... and on one of his form tracks, Venari positively hurled the BMW up the hill FTW. The Skylines proved to be fine cars, but lacking the power of the BMW, and only some hard battling between two on-form drivers scuppered TheCracker's drive.

LAN 2 proved to be a closer race, but daan and Roo brought the BMWs home for promotion, with Holden and Exelero fending off fatigue and children respectively for their undeserved fourth and fifth.

Race 5: High-Speed Ring Normal

With the draughtfest that is the HSR, anything could happen. A moment's lapse and you're outta there...

LAN 1
1st Car-less - Red Skyline
2nd TheCracker - White BMW
3rd daan - Silver Skyline
4th Famine - White Skyline
5th Roo - White Skyline

LAN 2
1st Venari - Silver Skyline
2nd Sureshot - Red Skyline
3rd HoldenHSV - White BMW
4th Specialized - White Skyline

A draught- and drift-fest, where TheCracker tames the BMW while chasing hard the red Skyline of Car-less, and daan getting the better of the white Skylines of Roo and Famine.

Meanwhile, Venari equally squeaks ahead of Sureshot in a hardfought draught scrap which Holden and Spec just couldn't quite hang onto. That battle denied Holden promotion to the Japanese coupe.

Race 6: La Sarthe II - 4 laps.

And the groans and cheers echoed in equal measure as those recently handed the Alfa cursed and the Skyline and BMW drivers engaged 'Smug Mode' for Le Mans. However, Exelero was nowhere to be seen... Jensen stuck in French truck-drivers' strike?

LAN 1
1st Famine - Silver Skyline
2nd daan - Red Skyline
3rd Roo - White Skyline
4th Venari - Green Alfa
5th Sureshot - Celeste (slightly effeminate) blue Alfa

LAN 2
1st HoldenHSV - White BMW
2nd Spec - White Skyline
3rd TheCracker - Red Skyline
4th Car-less - Red Alfa

The Alfa proved nimble enough to hang on to the big Skyline as far as the start of the Mulsanne, and then the cackling retro-ricers took off into the middle distance with a lunatic drag-race down the infamous straight. Venari and Sureshot, however, decided to team up and bump0-draught some extra speed out of the pair of Alfas, which did work, but at 120+mph, it wasn't enough to catch the 140+mph Skylines. All three Skylines stuck together for similar mad draughting shennanigans on the next three laps, while Venari squeaked out a lead just large enough to break the draught from an unlucky Sureshot.

Holden's BMW proved the power of turbocharging wins out over the high-spinning Skylines, but the draughting still made the first part of the lap anyones until the superior acceleration and grip of the BMW won out. Car-less's lonely drive at the back led to an almost inevitable fourth.

So, a nice short track, please?

Race 7: Nurburgring 2-lapper (!)

Incredulous laughter greeted the next race, followed by a 2-lap agreement ('coz' we woz' all gettin' hungry) and the Skylines and Jensen were probably going to prolong the Alfa drivers' pain (and pleasure - because it was a peach to drive, really.)

LAN 1
1st Roo - White Skyline
2nd HoldenHSV - White Skyline
3rd Venari - Red Alfa
4th SureShot - Celeste Alfa
5th Spec - Green Alfa

LAN 2
1st TheCracker - Red Skyline
2nd daan - Black Alfa
3rd Car-less - Green Alfa
4th Famine - Not so effeminate blue Alfa
5th Exelero - Fawn Jensen

The Skyline did indeed prove to be the car to have, as they zipped off into the distance to gain their Alfa keys. With Roo squeaking a fair lead on Holden and TheCracker simply disappearing up the hills, the Alfas were left to battle for places. Both races were fairly hard-fought, but daan and Venari won out when the line was crossed, with daan's second place earning him the first drive of the Spitfire.

Race 8: Laguna Seca

Much ribbing of daan's new steed ensued ('will it get up the hill?') and the typically cool smiling Scot made it difficult for us to tell if he was worried. Meanwhile Venari finally just about figured out that if Holden's choosing a colour, it's likely to be white.

LAN 1
1st Venari - Celeste Alfa
2nd Sureshot - Red Alfa
3rd Specialized - Green Alfa
4th TheCracker - Beige Alfa
5th daan - Mimosa Spitfire (ooooh, get you - 'Mimohhhhhsa'.)

LAN 2
1st Famine - Celeste Alfa
2nd Roo - Black Alfa
3rd Car-less - Red Alfa
4th HoldenHSv - White Alfa
5th Exelero - Fawn Jensen

Some rather boisterous Alfa racing happened in sun-drenched California, with nary a virtual panel left unscathed. Slip-sliding the Alfa through the Corkscrew (and sometimes over lots and lots of grass) quickest was Venari, while Famine did the same, only tidier. Tough battles all around, with the braking markers taking an early bath as some sneaky tactical racing reared its head too. The race to the victory was on... bring on the Spitfires!

No big hills this time, eh?

Race 9: Cote d'Azur.

More groans, pretty much from everyone this time. The punishing climb from Sainte Devote through Beau Rivage to crest at Massenet would not help the Spits.

LAN 1
1st Specialized - Green Alfa
2nd TheCracker - Black Alfa
3rd daan - Mimosa Spitfire
4th Famine - Maple (Indigo) Spitfire
5th Roo - BRG Spitfire

LAN 2
1st Car-less - Black Alfa
2nd Venari - Maple Spitfire
3rd Sureshot - BRG Spitfire
4th HoldenHSV - White Alfa
5th Exelero - Fawn Jensen

The Spitfires proved no match for the Alfas on LAN 1, but daan's smooth style and one race practice with the asthmatic long-stroke 1500 put him ahead of the pack for third, with typically Monagasque racing threatening the Spitfires' chrome all race.

On LAN 2, after a rather unfortunate start for Exelero and the Alfas moved off up the hill, Venari made an early pass stick on Sureshot and the race was on. Trying to ignore the big green sharknose in the mirrors, Venari began to reel in the white Alfa, its Scottish driver now feeling proper fatigue from his very early morning start. Finally succumbing to consistent harrassment, Holden dabbed the brake a little too hard into Casino hairpin and Venari and Sureshot jinked right to pass the beached Alfa around the outside. Venari piled on some pace through the exit of Piscine, Rascasse and a good line through Antony Noghes to hold a clear second and claimed first drive of the Autobianchi.

Race 10: El Capitan Normal

"No fear, the Autobianchi is a slug, you've not got a hope..."

LAN 1
1st Famine - Maple (Indigo) Spitfire
2nd Car-less - French Blue Spitfire
3rd Venari - Lancia Blue Autobianchi
4th Roo - BRG Spitfire
5th daan - Mimosa Spitfire

LAN 2
1st HoldenHSV - White Alfa
2nd Sureshot - BRG Spitfire
3rd TheCracker - Carmine Spitfire
4th Spec - Delfi Blue Spitfire
5th Exelero - Fawn Jensen

LAN 1 gawped as the little Autobianchi proved extremely sprightly off the line and took second from fourth on the grid, followed soon by a pass on Car-less to take the lead. Fast to warm the tyres, the little hatch's rear end must have been like a red rag to the bulls of Car-less and Famine's Spitfires. Places swapped furiously over the next three laps before Venari lost the plot (and the front end) more than once and fell back, to concentrate on racing to the finish. Crisis averted, Famine hurled the Spit consistently up the hill towards the tunnel in spectacularly fast style to open a lead he was not to relinquish.

Holden made good on the Alfa's power and won his Sptifire drive, while Sureshot stayed ahead of TheCracker and Spec to get into the hatchback too.

Race 11: Hong Kong

Yuk, walls.

LAN 1
1st Sureshot - Beige Autobianchi
2nd daan - Mimosa Spitfire
3rd Venari - Lancia Blue Autobianchi
4th HoldenHSV - White Spitfire
5th Roo - BRG Sptifire

LAN 2
1st Car-less - Beige Autobianchi
2nd Spec - Delfi Blue Spitfire
3rd Famine - Met Pale Blue Autobianchi
4th TheCracker - White Spitfire
5th Exelero - Fawn Jensen

With Venari liking the track as much as Exelero likes the Jensen, the speed of the Autobianchi off the line didn't help him, as Sureshot pulled from third to first in quick order, with Venari not managing to stay past daan's Spitfire for long from fourth on the grid. Sureshot stayed on top, while Holden held off Roo for fourth.

Car-less equally enjoyed the hatch more than Famine on LAN 2, with Spec separating them in second, and TheCracker leading the Jensen home.

But... with two Autobianchi winners, that means...

RACE-OFF!

Peugeot 106S16 at Special Stage Route 5

1st Car-less - White
2nd Sureshot - Red

Car-less fast start and smooth style got him an early lead and Sureshot was hard-pushed to keep pace. A deserved win for the 'Devon Ninja'.

Winner: Car-less!

===
Lunch

===

Event Two: The DTM Pick'n'Mix


Refreshed from our bacon and chip butties, we descend from the Colonial Marine dropship of lunch ("Somebody wake up Holden...") into the LV426 that is the the first of the weekend's pick'n'mixes. Six cars, six rounds, and you don't know the tracks until they appear on the bigscreen like the alien spawn busting from John Hurt's gut.

This time, it's the Deutsche Tourenwagen Meisterschaft cars, from the beautifully balanced Mercedes 190E through the revvy Alfa 155, Audi A4 and Opel Astra to the thunderous Audi TT and Mercedes CLK.

It is F1 stylee scoring, with 10pts for first 6 for second, 4 for third, 3 for fourth and 2 for fifth, our last place.

Round one turns out to be a proper baptism of fire too...

Round 1: Suzuka

Hmm. Speed for the long haul around 130R, or finesse for the technical curves on the Honda circuit?

LAN 1
1st Car-less, TT
2nd daa, CLK
3rd Famine, Alfa
4th HoldenHSV, A4
5th Exelero, 190E

LAN 2
1st Sureshot, CLK
2nd Roo, A4
3rd TheCracker, Astra
4th Venari, A4 (eh?)
5th Specialized, TT

Suzuka proves to reward power, with the TT and CLK being generally form cars, although a good result for Roo in the A4. Venari is not entirely surprised when the TT he thought he had turns out to be an A4. I mean, how could you miss that? Mind you, Spec didn't have a fun time in his TT either, so the mood for the event is set.

UKGTP: Serious business.

Round 2: Trial Mountain

Venari picks out the TT, joined by Exelero, while daan and TheCracker select the Alfa. Little do we know, the A4 is the car to have...

LAN 1
1st Famine, A4
2nd Roo, Astra
3rd Car-less, 190E
4th daan, Alfa
5th TheCracker, Alfa

LAN 2
1st Sureshot, A4
2nd Venari, TT
3rd HoldenHSv, Astra
4th Specialized, CLK
5th Exelero, TT

Famine and Car-less' smooth button-bashery puts them in good positions, Famine FTW with the A4, and the 190E of Car-less being a good result bracketing Roo's Astra.

Venari has blistering pace and stunning inconsistency in one package, handing the race to Sureshot's A4, with Holden's Astra holding off Spec's brutal CLK.

Scores after two rounds:

Sureshot, 20
Car-less, 14
Famine, 14
Roo, 12
daan, 9
Venari, 9
HoldenHSv, 7
TheCracker, 6
Specialized, 5
Exelero, 4

Round 3: Tsukuba

The pint sized track makes for fast and furious racing. Something that sticks in low speed corners? Or try to get downforce for that evil right-hander?

LAN 1
1st Venari, Astra
2nd daan, Astra
3rd Specialized, Alfa
4th Famine, 190E
5th Exelero, Astra

LAN 2
1st Sureshot, TT
2nd HoldenHSV, TT
3rd TheCracker, CLK
4th Roo, 190E
5th Car-less, Alfa

On another of his form tracks, Venari pulls up from last on the grid with (finally) a smooth-driving combination of slow-in-fast-out at the bottom hairpin onto the straight and bold dives down the inside at the end of the straight after a short draught. daan hangs on for second and Spec delivers in the Alfa ahead of one of Famine's least favourite tracks in the slow but wide 190E in front of a valiant effort from Exelero.

All are certainly glad they didn't line up against the TTs of Sureshot and Holden, who barrelled their way to a one-two, with TheCracker's CLK not far behind. Roo puts up a good battle against the Alfa of Car-less who may be beginning to feel the pressure!

Standings:

Sureshot, 30
Venari, 19
Famine, 17
Car-less, 16
Roo, 15
daan, 15
HoldenHSV, 13
TheCracker, 10
Specialized, 9
Exelero, 6

Round 4: Deep Forest

Bold moves required in the camber-tastic forest. Balance or power?

LAN 1
1st Sureshot, Astra
2nd Specialized, Astra
3rd Car-less, A4
4th TheCracker, 190E
5th Roo, Alfa

LAN 2
1st Famine, CLK
2nd Venari, CLK
3rd HoldenHSV, CLK
4th daan, 190E
5th Exelero, 190E

Not to be outdone by Venari, Sureshot muscles the Astra up from last on the forest track, only Spec proving to be an obstacle in his way and a tough battle ensued which Sureshot ultimately won to maintain his clean sweep. Car-less and his A4 waited fruitlessly to pick up the pieces from third, and TheCracker creditably brought the 190E in ahead of Roo's Alfa.

LAN 2 was a similarly hard fought CLK war, with Venari again chasing from the back of the pack, while Famine's fourth on the grid and rapid assumption of the lead meant that Venari was scrabbling for grip in his wake for the next seven laps. Holden kept it on the black stuff for third, with the outgunned 190Es of daan and Exelero rounding out the field.

Standings after Round 4:

Sureshot, 40
Famine, 27
Venari, 25
Car-less, 20
daan, 18
Roo, 17
HoldenHSV, 17
Specialized, 15
TheCracker, 13
Exelero, 8


Round 5: Fuji 2005GT

Everyone with a powerhouse left gave a silent cheer for the circuit with the long-straight... as long as you can keep the car in line and tidy... or does one just go mental and use those huge (and slippery) runoff areas?

LAN 1
1st daan, A4
2nd Venari, Alfa
3rd Sureshot, Alfa
4th Specialized, 190E
5th HoldenHSV, Alfa

LAN 2
1st Famine, TT
2nd Roo, TT - +0.001second!
3rd Car-Less, Astra
4th TheCracker, TT
5th Exelero, Alfa

He had to crack eventually... On LAN one it was an easy race for daan in the A4. In post-race interview he admitted it was the class car of the field, but needless to say, the Scot bided his time and waited for the first full length of the straight to sail past everyone to a lead to the finish, Behind him, a hard fought battle raged yet again, but Venari quickly realised that the key to a good lap was keeping a good line at the first corner. Time after time cars screeched past on the inside, and time after time Venari held the smoother line and held ahis place. Passed by draughting by (I think) Sureshot and HoldenHSV later in the race, both competitors launched themselves heavily into the kitty litter and Venari broke away in the Alfa to take second.

LAN 2 was a royal scrap between the TTs of Famine and Roo, with hard but fair racing seeing many lead changes, right up until the last corner, where Roo got the drive out of the last corner and held a good draught... but it just wasn't quite enough by thje smallest possible margin! A one-thousandth of a second win for Famine - arrrrgggg!!! Car-Less brought the Astra home ahead of TheCracker's TT and Exelero's Alfa.

Standings before the final race:

Sureshot, 44
Famine, 37
Venari, 31
daan, 28
Car-less, 24
Roo, 23
HoldenHSV, 19
Specialized, 18
TheCracker, 16
Exelero, 10

Sureshot doesn't seem so sure of a shot at champion, Famine's drought of points seems over as he rides into the last round with the perky Astra, but he has to win and Sureshot has to come last for him to be champion, 4th to draw for the race-off. Venari's podium is being hunted relentlessly by daan, Roo and Car-less - Venari's 190E will be hard to keep ahead of daan's TT, that was for sure.

So, it's the bottom of the fifth, and the scores are tight... it's time for the big one:

Race 6: Grand Valley East Reverse

LAN 1
1st Famine, Astra
2nd Car-Less. CLK
3rd Sureshot, 190E
4th HoldenHSV, 190E
5th Roo, CLK

LAN 2
1st daan, TT
2nd Specialized, A4
3rd TheCracker, A4
4th Exelero, CLK
5th Venari, 190E

Upsets small and large in the final round. Famine clears Car-Less' CLK to win, but Surehot grabs third, a good result for the 190E and an uncharacteristic last for Roo (retired?) This is enough to secure Sureshot's victory and Famine a second place... but what of third?

Much the same on LAN 2, Spec took an early lead with daan giving chase, while Venari found good speed through the mid-section. The hard battle between Exelero and TheCracker to regain position leads to Venari's 190E suffering a 'racing incident' at the final hairpin, collecting a lot of gravel and possibly some damage(?!) Rejoining last, it was obvious something was severely wrong with the Mercedes as it understeered off the circuit into the cones after the straight. Venari retired early, and went to sulk in the pits. In front, Spec and daan trade places, then trade places again in an epic Audi DTM fight; but on lap six, Spec just misjudges the final hairpin in the A4 leaving the slightest of gaps. Ever the opportunist, daan hurled the TT through to retain the lead to the flag.


Winner: Sureshot!




Event Three: The Group B Pick'n'Mix



The Group B races were dragged back kicking and screaming from UKGTPV: Ford RS200, Nissan 240RS, Renault 5 Maxi Turbo, Peugeot 205 turbo 16, Lancia Delta Integrale Evo, and the ubiquitous 1981 'urquattro'.

With exactly the same line up and (by design) at least one of the same tracks, it was already known that this was going to be fun racing. Dig out that instrumental copy of 'Duel' by Propaganda - we're going rallying!

Race 1: Laguna Seca

LAN 1
1st Famine, 240RS
2nd Car-Less, 205
3rd daan, 205
4th HoldenHSV, quattro
5th Exelero, 240RS

LAN 2
1st venari, 240RS
2nd Roo, 240RS
3rd TheCracker, 240RS
4th Specialized, 240RS
5th Sureshot, Delta

Famine and Venari drift the sweet Nissan to victories on theier respective LANs. Venari led from pole, and resisted showboating the Nissan, instead showing a clean set of 'flaps to Roo, holding in line in second.

Famine's result was a harder victory to win from fourth on the grid. daan spent the race chasing but not catching Car-Less, with the occasional visit to the scenery: "It is a rally car, after all..."

Back in LAN 2, Sureshot suffered in the Delta; maybe the winners' Champagne went to his head?

Race 2: HSR (Huzzah!)

The return of one of the most fun races from UKGTPV, especially inserted (ooer) for this event. However, prior experience (or cold logic) led to some tactical choices for this race...

LAN 1
1st daan, RS200
2nd Roo, RS200
3rd TheCracker, RS200
4th Car-less, Delta
5th Famine, quattro

LAN 2
1st Venari, Red RS200
2nd HoldenHSV, White RS200
3rd Sureshot, 240RS
4th Exelero, R5
5th Specialized, 205

... except for Famine and Exelero, who both wondered 'what if?' Famine's post-race comment was something along the lines of: "It was crap." However, Exelero's choice (greeted by sharp intakes of breath from those who thought they knew better) was rewarded with a fourth place after Sureshot's top-gear-limited 240RS.

For everyone else, however, this was a draughting expedition, the RS200s invariably being caught in-line-astern, and with bold passing moves into turn one. daan was victorious on LAN 1, in a battle any of the top three could have won. LAN 2 was a close match between Holden and Venari. venari was quick through the last bend, but Holden would seem to draught and pass. But, tactics came into play, and continual pressure in the esses and a tiny error from Holden let Venari close up but deliberately not pass until the last bend with a bold yet calculated pass on the outside, carrying greater exit speed to the line for the win.

Points after race 2:

Venari, 20
daan, 14
Famine, 12
Roo, 12
Car-Less, 9
HoldenHSV, 9
TheCracker, 8
Sureshot, 6
Exelero, 5
Specialized, 5


Race 3: Autumn Ring Reverse

The twisty, drifty A-Ring meant that drivers were thinking of handling this time... but anyone not having chosen the RS200 already would have a definate chance in the Ford rocket.

LAN 1
1st Venari, Red R5
2nd Famine, Blue R5
3rd daan, Red R5
4th Exelero, 205
5th Specialized, quattro

LAN 2
1st Sureshot, RS200
2nd Car-Less, R5
3rd HoldenHSV, 240RS
4th Roo, quattro
5th TheCracker, quattro

Finding surprising grip off the line, Venari pulls right up to Famine's bumper by turn three, and the race is on. daan pulled into third and watched for car-nage, while Exelero pushed the 205 up to fourth, Spec not quite managing to make the Gobi-coloued quattro behave off the line. What followed was a furious chase, with the red R5 of Venari looming large in Famine's mirrors for a long time... but eventually wearing the race organiser down to make the pass (I think, down the inside in the hairpin?) and hold him off for first.

Sureshot made the RS200 stick for his first victory of the series, Car-Less and Holden manoeuvering for their second and third ahead of the the fired-up quattros of Roo and TheCracker.

Standings after race 3:

Venari, 30
daan, 18
Famine, 18
Sureshot, 16
Roo, 15
Car-Less, 15
HoldenHSV, 13
TheCracker, 10
Exelero, 8
Specialized, 7

At the half-way point, Venari looks as dominant as Sureshot before him, and Sureshot himself with a win putting him right back in contention; the podium places are going to be hard fought!


Race 4: El Capitan Reverse

LAN 1
1st Car-Less, 240RS
2nd Specialized, RS200
3rd TheCracker, 205
4th Sureshot, R5
5th Roo, R5

LAN 2
1st Famine, Delta
2nd Venari, Delta
3rd daan, Delta
4th HoldenHSV, 205
5th Exelero, RS200

Car-less takes victory from P4 on the grid in the Nissan, passing TheCracker and Specialized on the way, Spec holding on for second in the RS200 (that must have been quite a fight - comments?) Sureshot and Roo find the R5 a tricky handful over the bumps and twists of El Cap.

Certainly, Venari also found the Delta a handful to begin with, with a scrabble through the pack taking longer than expected. Famine pushed his Delta steadily to the lead, and while Venari caught him for a little while, he ran out of talent at the second-gear double-left more than once, slowing his progress. daan waited to pick up the pieces once again, this time with no luck, but managing instead to keep the peppy 205 of Holden at bay. Exelero didn't quite get the hang of the RS200 at the tricky track, and rolled in - still smiling, however.

After 4 races:

Venari, 36
Famine, 28
Car-Less, 25
daan, 22
Sureshot, 19
Roo, 17
HoldenHSV, 16
TheCracker, 14
Specialized, 13
Exelero, 10

Race 5: Infineon (Sears Point) Sportscar

With two cars to go, it's gamble time... will each driver like the last track? Better to pick a good car now, or wait?

Spec, Holden, and TheCracker choose the featherweight R5 for the hilly racetrack - leaving them all with the Delta for the last race. Famine and Car-less roll out the big gun RS200s, leaving them with 205 and quattro respectively. daan decides to save his 240RS and Venari, similarly figures that the quattro would match his liking of the Califonian circuit, and a 205 in the pocket is a good thing... while Sureshot gets his out (ooer) and the race is on...

LAN 1
1st Specialized, R5
2nd Venari, quattro
3rd daan, quattro
4th Sureshot, 205
5th HoldenHSV, R5

LAN 2
1st Famine, RS200
2nd Car-Less, RS200
3rd Roo, Delta
4th TheCracker, R5
5th Exelero, Delta

On LAN 1, Spec screams the R5 away from pole, while a quietly determined Venari inches up from the back of the grid right into the middle of the pack in short order. Sureshot's 205 proves a tricky customer, but eventually both quattros make the pass. Venari spends the next six laps making a rubber-band-style gap between hmself and Spec get ever so slightly shorter with every corner (tell me we recorded this one, folks?!) and certainly made Spec sweat for his win. The two drivers shook each other warmly by the throats hand after this one - a real close call and good results for the quattros, Venari upsetting the form book for the car.

The RS200 was inevitbaly dominant on LAN 2, Car-less coming from behind (ooer) and passing the Deltas and R5 of TheCracker to make second. Roo managed to keep his Delta ahead of the nippy R5, a good result.

Standings before the final race:

Venari, 42
Famine, 38
Car-Less, 31
daan, 26
Specialized, 23
Sureshot, 21
Roo, 21
HoldenHSV, 18
TheCracker, 17
Exelero, 12

With the top two drivers capable of outright victory, and them being split by four points, there's a definite chance of Venari buckling under the pressure and succumbing to a race-off - or even losing it completely. Both drivers have 205s, both are starting from third on the grid, both have quick drivers both ahead and behind, and both have managed to line-up against nothing really strong enough to blitz the French hatchback hero... so let us hear the track...

Race 6: Tsukuba

Venari smiles, Famine holds his head in his hands; it is going to be one for the history books...

LAN 1
1st Famine, 205
2nd Roo, 205
3rd Car-less, quattro
4th HoldenHSV, Delta
5th Sureshot, quattro

LAN 2
1st Venari, 205
2nd daan, 240RS
3rd Specialized, Delta
4th TheCracker, Delta
5th Exelero, quattro

Famine's dislike for the track does not show as he and Roo quickly move their 205s to the head of the field for a one-two. Car-less holds the quattro in third for a good result against Holden's Delta, who himself holds off Sureshot's quattro.

Venari similarly quickly pulls into the lead, while daan suffers a sideswipe to put him last. His race is a good one to repass everyone and he begins to slowly catch Venari, but the lead is much too great. A quick, steady and (finally) faultless drive from Venari to race- and overall wins.


Winner: Venari!

With more prizegivings (where I claimed the purple flashing wotsit of doom) from the Exelero & Specialized show (and thanks to them once more for fun prizes and the event hire) we decided that eating was no longer put-off-able (is that a word?) and we decided on a Chinese lottery.

That's not a bizarre far-eastern ritual for decision making, it was a firm choice of a Chinese meal, but when you're presented with a lot of unmarked plastic boxes freshly collected by the fabulous Milford Cubicle, you just grabbed something and started shovelling. (I still don't know what I ate...) Still, it tasted good, and there were beverages of the alcoholic variety for everyone over the legal age. (Except, it seems, for the bartender, who looked about 11, but repeatedly told us he was 19. )

This is when Milford Cubicle recovered a set of handheld devices with large red buttons. Large red things are cool. Especially when they light up. As these did. And make the sound of a duck/siren/huge fart when you push them. As these also did. We proceeded to lose a game of 'Buzz' in spectacular fashion to the all-knowing Famine - nothing we shouldn't have expected, I suppose.

After two rounds of that (and more alcohol) we decided to quit and go to sleep, so we made our ways home/into the labyrinthine Rutland Arms staircases hoping to find our way back tomorrow...

Sunday​

Event Four: Epic Dutch-Shtyle League Rayshing; Yeah!
With apologies to our Dutch friends.

So, what's Dutch style racing?

Well, it's easy. A set car and circuit per round. And lots and lots of rounds.

The less easy bit is this: the two LANs are effectively 'divisions', with LAN 1 being top division. Drivers here are selected based on their performances from Saturday's racing.

With each race, two drivers get demoted from LAN 1, and two drivers get promoted to LAN 2.

The grids are in reverse position order from the previous race, except the promoted get to start in 2nd (winner) and pole (2nd), while the demoted have to start from the back, with 4th position in last, and 5th placed in 4th. (?!)

At the last minute we decided that the fastest lap overall for each round gained an extra point.

Also, because we were recording events, I dictated that colour choice should be recorded. For reference 'gay' means 'jolly'. Of course, there are some very... lateral descriptions - and you get them almost completely unedited.

The column headings (which I deleted for ease of formatting) are thus in all cases:

Place - Driver - Grid position started from - Colour (if choice) - points - Maybe the fastest lap time (if we could be arsed. )



Race 1: Corvette ZR1 @ Trial Mountain Reverse; Road - 7 laps
LAN 1

LAN 2

Venari: The first race was fun (well, for me) although it was plain to see that the button-bashers and stick-wagglers were having a lot more success keeping the wayward Corvette in line going through the final right-hander. Ah well, more fool them, it was a hoot!


Race 2: Gathers Drider Civic '98 @ Twin Ring Motegi; RaceMedium - 5 laps
LAN 1

LAN 2

Venari: Everyone agreed that the little Civic had excellent brakes, and once we were all dialled into that, it wasn't bad. Except for me, I loathed the track so visited most of the green bits and generally went to pieces. Ho hum.

Sureshot: A fun race, due to the simple fact I never quite got the braking with this Civic until about the 3rd lap. I remember everyone missing many apex's, all on the inside of the apex! I think Roo slipstreamed past me on the bottom straight on the penultimate lap.

daan: You just thought about stopping in these and it did! Had a good battle with Spec for most of the race.


Race 3: Amuse S2000 R1 @ New York; SportsHard - 7 laps
LAN 1

LAN 2

Venari: The Amuse was a heck of a car, although finding a braking point first lap was everyone's problem once again. A lot of draughting ensued, and I remember chasing Holden on the last lap and just not managing to pass.

Sureshot: I had a good race with Car-Less and
Famine. Luckily it's not too hard a course to defend on, it's quite a tight street circuit in places. I like these cars, nice to drive, don't have to fight the car too much.

Race 4: New Beetle Cup Car '00 @ Laguna Seca; RaceMedium - 7 laps
LAN 1

LAN 2

Venari: The Beetles were also jolly good fun, you could actually drift them a heck of a lot for a FF car.

daan: In 2nd, chasing Roo. He had a 4.9 second lead going into the last lap. His tyres went off, mine didn't, and I took 4 seconds off him to finish only 0.5 behind.

Roo: I knew daan behind me would have barely green tyres by the end of the race, so 6 hell-for-leather laps to build a lead and a seventh to almost lose it again seemed the most sensible plan. It worked. Just.

Sureshot: This circuit always presents the tough corkscrew, quite fun in this cup car, I remember racing with Famine early on, I had this race won by a half dozen seconds in the end, I remember a few people going off at the uphill kinked left before the corkscrew.

Race 5: Lotus Europa @ El Capitan Normal; Road - 7 laps
LAN 1

LAN 2

Venari: Famine was quick to illustrate that this event was 'my fault' and I don't remember the little Lotus being quite as slidy as it was when there were four other drivers breathing down your neck. My first-lap-second-corner spinout was quite embarrassing, but i had fun at the back hurling the Europa around with lurid drifts around the second corner and hairy 110mph moments off the fast left coming down the hill.

Sureshot: It's slide time! Us stickmen prevailed with this fun little car, far easier to make adjustments with the sticks. I got fastest lap too, so I must have done something right!

Race 6: Bluebird 1600SSS RC '69 @ Nuerburgring; RaceHard - 2 laps
LAN 1

LAN 2

Venari: An inspired race from Famine, found quite by chance and proving to be absolute hilarious fun, with the Escort Mk2-like Bluebird providing steady, surefooted and forgiving fun for when you didn't get it quite right. As long as you ready for a draught coming onto the main straight, you were okay.

daan: Was a great 4 way battle for most of the first lap. Dan was out in front, but we caught him back up into the karrusel. Holden dropped back. To leave Dan, you and I. We drafted past Dan, he came back past. I was 2nd at the end of the first lap. I overtook Dan near the start of the 2nd lap. Kept the lead although you were closing towards the end. Great fun, and one of my best races.

Roo: Apparantly I'm the only person who thought this car and track combo was horrible in every single way.

Sureshot: A car I had never driven before, the Nurb is always fun, because you have to concentrate so damn hard! A fun car too, not the quickest, but I remember being drafted on the big straight. Though I regained the lead on the 2nd lap, not sure where though...

Race 7: Mazda MX-5 SR-Limited '97 @ Apricot Hill; Road - 7 laps
LAN 1

LAN 2

Venari: I fell off once again in the Mazda - a car where you absolutely, positively, had to keep it on the track to hold your momentum. I think I retired, actually...


Sureshot: No one came close to touching Famine, but then as he said, he drives the car a lot, I was happy to consolidate 2nd, though Car-Less pushed me all the way!

Race 8: Accent Rally Car '01 @ Seattle; RaceHard - 7 laps
LAN 1

LAN 2

Venari: The Accent is as well balanced as any of the rally cars, and I enjoyed racing Spec here. I took a lead and Spec just kept catching in one area and losing in another - ding-dong and a handshake once again - good stuff.

Roo: Love the car, love the track; possibly explains how I royally sucked at this race.

Sureshot: A maximum round for me again, I tend to hate the street circuits, but this car handles beautifully so you can push it a little harder than an older mid-engined racer. I remember more battles with Car-Less, he always caught me up coming out of the left hairpin and going up the hill with the right hand kink and the right hander before the rail tracks.

Race 9: Honda Beat @ Tsukuba; Road - 10 laps
LAN 1

LAN 2

Venari: A fabulous little race. The Beat could be made to perform a full-on four wheel drift at about 75 around the long right-hander, and amazingly satisfying it was too. However, I knuckled down and really nailed this one, one of my best races of the weekend.

daan: Worked my through to the front, and pulled away. Nice race, and it was good fun to drive.

Race 10: Nissan mm-R Cup Car '01 @ Autumn Ring; RaceMedium - 7 laps
LAN 1




Roo: Yay for FF race cars! I didn't lose a single race in them.

Sureshot: The pirate car was good fun, more tight racing with that Indigo one. I defended my lead quite aggressively in the end, I needed to though. I remember some really late braking in this thing for the hairpin. Like hitting a brick wall!

Race 11: Lotus Carlton '90 @ La Sarthe; SportMedium - 4 laps
LAN 1

LAN 2

Venari: The big slidy ol' Carlton is one of my favourite cars in the game, so this was a lot of fun for me, although I was surprised to get fastest lap for the second time in a row. Once I'd broken the tow, I don't think Famine could catch me. The it was just "don't muck it up".

daan: Slipstreaming with Ben along the Mulsanne on lap 1. I think he spun at Indianapolis, and I just pulled away. Boring race all on my own.

Sureshot: I always get spun/spin myself before the draft battle, I got relegated from LAN 1, hate Le Sarthe.

Race 12: Spoon S2000 Race Car '00 @ Monaco; RaceHard - 7 laps
LAN 1

LAN 2

Venari: I'd not really driven the Spoon before, and it was an efficient tool for Cote d'Azur/Monaco. I bounced off the armco one too many times by trying too hard to catch Famine - which I was doing quite well.

Sureshot: Me and Car-Less got promoted immediately back up to LAN 1, he was too quick for me, but I got back up into LAN 1, which was all that mattered to my determined brain

Race 13: Dodge Charger @ Seoul; Road Tyres - 10 laps
LAN 1

LAN 2

Venari: Now I really like the Charger, but I suffered the barriers (maybe I should have driven sticks, but where's the fun?) and not having a good handle on Seoul, I lost the fight.

daan: I enjoyed this one too. I got away slowly, but managed to get braking points right, and only used 3rd and 4th gears. Made my way through the field, and overtook Dan. He was hampered by his auto using 2nd out of the roundabouty hairpinny thingy. Got fastest lap too, which was nice.

Roo: Most frustrating race of the weekend. I lead for 9 laps, then a mistake at the first turn let Sureshot through and being punted into a spin at the last corner (not by Famine; the culprit let me back through, thank you) saw me finish 3rd. Grrr.

Sureshot: I remember Roo spinning out on the last lap, causing much confusion and needing to watch the whole re-play. Overtaking in this monster is difficult on this street circuit. Good fun though, though I think Roo thought otherwise...

Race 14: Esso Ultraflo Supra '01 @ Tokyo R246 Reverse; RaceMedium - 7 laps
LAN 1

LAN 2

Venari: R246 = Yuk. More practice required.

daan: Favourite track. Had a good 3 way battle with Famine and Nigel. Famine got away. I was holding onto 2nd having a good, hard but fair, battle with Nigel. He passed me, and I passed him back. He then got me back on the last corner to push me back into 3rd.

Sureshot: I quite liked these Supra's, nice race cars. I was catching daan quite quickly, I took a very aggressive line into the last corner on the last lap, maybe a bit too aggressive, sorry daan...

Race 15: Jaguar E-type @ Suzuka East; SportSoft - 10 laps
LAN 1

LAN 2

daan: Best race of ever. Famine and Nigel ran away from me and had about a 5 second lead going into the last 2 laps. Their tyres went off, mine didn't. I took loads of time out of them on lap 9 and passed them both through the esses on the last lap. They were a bit miffed, I thought it was hilarious!

Roo: Horrible horrible horrible horrible horrible. I couldn't get my head round the E-type here at all. Was 30 seconds (half a lap) down by lap 5; gave up after that.

Sureshot: 🤬 (Venari: Just some random comment about how lovely and wonderful daan is. Nothing to write home about. )

Race 16: NSX-R LM Race Car @ Midfield; RaceMedium - 10 laps
LAN 1

LAN 2

Venari: A disasterous first lap crash behind me for pretty much everyone else led to us lining up at the bridge for lap two, which was fun. Of course, I bought the farm at the restart somehow and had to chase hard. I nearly caught up, as I recall - there is a very specific line through the fast right-left to get it right, and I was closing on the brakes on the downhill kink-right-to-hairpin. Car-less spun once here, nearly letting me catch him. Drat.

daan: Famine got away from me. Nigel, had a spin or 2, but still caught up with me, only to spin again in the tunnel with 2 or 3 laps to go. He recovered and still nearly caught me at the line.

Sureshot: I was hot around here, I span 3 times but still caught up with daan, I struggled with the tight hairpin before the tunnel, losing it several times, just being too aggressive. Got fastest lap, thanks to some drafting from the back marker!

Race 17: 406 Coupe V6 @ Deep Forest; SportsHard - 7 laps
LAN 1

LAN 2

Venari: Tough race - I couldn't get the 406 to turn into the first left-hander, and everyone struggled, and we all had varying degrees of success with the final left-hander too. Battling hard with TheCracker and then Car-Less, I came off worse. But fun!

daan: Brilliant race. Nathan was in front of me, and got well sideyways into turn 1. I got past Nathan to lead. Nigel got past me, and he got sideyways into turn 1 too. He held the position, but I was all over him, and Famine was right behind me. Last corner order was Nige, me and Famine. Famine had a brilliant last corner and took us both by the line. That Famine can be a right [very nice and totally wonderful person] sometimes...

Sureshot: Slippy, slidy into the first corner, I think the front numberplate was parallel to the kerb most times. Famine grabbed the victory on the last lap, I seem to remember him doing that at the Ocho!

Race 18: FTO Super Touring '97 @ Grand Valley; RaceHard - 7 laps
LAN 1

LAN 2

Roo: I benefitted from someone else's mistake (rather than the other way 'round) which made a nice change, although I did screw up bigtime on lap 5 or 6. Had a growing 4 second lead when I got off line in the bends up the hill after the first corner, half spun and was soon past by Venari. Kept in touch with him until the last corner when Venari got off line in the last corner of the last lap; beat Mark to the line by a tenth.

Sureshot: An important 1st of back-to-back wins for me, I hit Car-Less really hard going into the tight hairpin in the 1st sector (not the very first hairpin, the one which is at the end of a downhill bit), he had spun, I was about 5 seconds behind, and his green car was camouflaged by the trees, I didn't see him, I hit his car quite hard, I managed to stay in some control, he finished second and I would have passed him anyway, so no major facepalm moment. (Venari: Stewards enquiry? Car-less, a rebuttal? <stir,stir> )

Race 19: Cizeta V16T @ HSR Reverse; SportSoft - 7 laps
LAN 1

LAN 2

daan: Can't turn. Ben saw sky at the first corner as his Cizeta tried to vault the barrier. Everyone ran wide at every corner on the first lap. Got used to it after a few laps, and had a battle with Dan, but couldn't get by him. It's a wide old bugger, and the Cizeta is quite wide too...

Venari: I knew the car wouldn't turn in lap 1, this race again being 'my fault'. However, the idea was a draught battle and 'big cahoonas' into the first corner. It was fun, in a brutal, eighties-supercar driveability type way.

Roo: I discounted this car when I was testing as being too stupid. I should've guessed that made it perfect LAN material, really. (Venari: Heh. )

Sureshot: I remember having my L1 button down a lot for this race, loads of fun. I think I overtook about 3 cars at the first turn, an advantage of starting last all the time!

Race 20: Pajero Rally Raid '85 @ Hong Kong Reverse; RaceMedium - 5 laps
LAN 1

LAN 2

Venari: I'm amazed I got fastest lap. I remember a couple of bad laps then getting the hang of this boat... the trick was to not actually take your foot off the throttle.

daan: Another brilliant combo. I led from pole and was never headed. (probably aided by the fact that no one could get past as it's a wide old bugger, like the Cizeta... Lights to flag victory.

Sureshot: Horrible race, I hate the track, too many walls on inside of apexes.

Race 21: Ruf RGT @ Infineon; SportMedium - 7 laps
LAN 1

LAN 2

Venari: it wouldn't be a UKGTP without a drive in the RGT. I like this car (as does Famine) and I love the track too, so I really made him sweat for the win, catching up to him steadily in the latter part of the race. I only lost (heh) because I hit the green stanchion on the inside of the downhill sweeper.

Race 22: Celica WedsSport @ SSR5; RaceHard - 7 laps
LAN 1

LAN 2

Venari: All I remember was that there were three Celicas abreast in front of me going into the first right-left after the straight. I followed them in, and the car just turned 90-right and planted itself in the bariier from over 140mph. I removed my teeth from the steering wheel, dashboard, floor and glovebox and retired, slightly dazed.

daan: The only thing I remember from this one was from the other lan. Ben had Dan slipstreaming him onto the pit straight. Ben aimed for the end of the pit lane, jinked right at the last minute, and Dan, unsighted, ran straight into it and into a dead stop! Hilarious.

Race 23: Alfa GT @ Suzuka West; SportMedium &#8211; 7 laps
LAN 1

LAN 2



Four THREE points in it over 400 total? <1%! Stonking!

Venari: After analysing the Dutch results, I spotted that Famine had not been awarded his point for fastest lap in the Peugeot 406 Coupes. So it was even closer!


Winner: Sureshot

Sureshot: Summary: Famine and I were separated by just 4 points (V: see above) at the end of the competition, I won rounds 22 and 23, got promoted in the RUFs, but I only had a 1 point lead over him going into those last two races. Very tense, especially at Suzuka West. This Dutcho-style racing has to be a part of the Dixie! (Venari: Yes, I too think a Dutch day will be worthy of inclusion.)


To round out the day in style, we ordered big pizzas and beer. And played with our new toys from the presentations.

Actually, I recall some test-course-no-holds-barred fun with Cizetas and DB9s - ain't never personally had a DB9 above 210mph before, so that was new.

Roo knows how this goes together...

Famine's operation seems to have gone well.

And gets Roo's approval.

Invisible Bull!​

Monday​

Event Five: The UKGTP Clio Enduro

The Clio Enduro, mainstay of recent UKGTP, was back, same format as before, but a new track... Motegi Road Course!

A long yet fast coures, a lap was around about 1m28s. Unfortunately, due to ecomplete ineptitude, I have lost the details of the race... which was a shame, as there were a number of 'amusing comments' on the race lap/pit strategy...

I remember I was rubbish at Motegi, and slid off the track a lotwhich was a bit of a shame as I enjoyed 'The Ocho' at SSR5 where I didn't bounce off the walls at all (and had a couple of fabulous 'saves' too.) And Sjaak and I saw boobies. But this is the Nono, and I dragged the team down, daan valiantly propping up my efforts.

Your memories of the Nono Enduro here!

However, the results are what is important!
1st were Sureshot & Specialized
2nd were Car-less and Roo
3rd were Venari and daan and
4th were Famine and Holden.



Event Six: The Algore Eco Car Challenge Pick'n'Mix

So, the idea was that with all of this planet death happening around us, we have to try to be a bit 'green', even in the virtual world. Not that batteries are green. In fact, from a total emissions point of view, they're very questionable. But I digress.

So, we lined up six of the mot atrmac-terrorizing ec-warriors we could find... and then the attack began.

Usual pick'n'mix rules applied, we went for 5 lap races (except for round 2 which I think was only 2?) but this time, we chose (fittingly) economy tyres!

Oh yeah, these puppies were gonna wheelspin - smokin'!

Race 1: NY ReV

Yep, the long straight of disappointment, followed by the first corner complex of tedious inevitability, right?


Venari: This race was a hoot. I knew the first left into Time Square was going to be a disaster, but I think I made the least rooster-up of it and set about taming the rampant understeer. Roo, Sureshot and me were locked together for pretty much the entire race, draughting as much as possible (yes, it was possible!) and trying to see through each others' cars for the best line in each corner. I don't think there was a panel unscratched, but the dents were few and far between. Roo's powerhouse C3 just got away from my peppy Nissan at the end, and Sureshot couldn't hang on in the not-quite-as-stylish-and-slippery Demio. Top stuff!

Race 2: Sarthe II

Le Mans! In these things? You've got to be kidding!


Venari: First time out for the Pious against my C3, and they proved themseves. That, and I couldn't keep the C3 on the black bit. I think I outbraked myself at Indy - fatal in these things.


Race 3 Seoul Reverse

Another circuit of long straights - are the track gods smiling, or avvin' a larf'?


Venari: I get a better handle on the reverse track than the normal with the Mazda, and my race is spent battling daan, with us both trying to catch up to Roo - which we nearly manage! I think we were less than a second behind when we crossed the line. There were many draught passes into the top first right-hander, with the armcos there and in the next corner only being decorated with a little paint, now and then.

Race 4: Suzuka West (!)
Venari: I find out first hand here that the Insight is just 🤬 awful. People lose change in sofas. You could lose a sofa in the change from first-to-second on the insight. Huge. And slow. Just a case of plugging away until finished. Hohum.


Race 5: Midfield
Venari: Back at Midfield in the 'i'. A strange experience, as the car was surprisingly fun to balance and it even drifted. Not that that was a fast way to travel in the upright blob, but it whiled away the time. Actually, I got it by the scriuff of it's neck and hurled it into the bottom hairpin to catch Car-less, but to no avail. Pleased with second, though.

Race 6: Hong Kong
Venari: I didn't get on with the Prius. It understeers a lot, and that's not good at HK.



Winner: Famine!

Event Seven: The One-Hit-Wonder Sprint Handicap


So, the One-Hit Wonder Handicap was a bunch of cars from manufacturers with only one car. Hence, the Proto Spirra, Dome Zero, Seat Ibiza, Land Rover Range Stormer and Eagle Talon queued awiating their turns.

And because we were pushed for time, this was frenzied mentalist racing at its best. Sport soft tyres, and 4 laps... except for our first race!

Race 1 Suzuka 3-lapper

Usual rules, top two graduate. Famine, daan, Spec and SureShot went up, Venari deciding he doesn't like the Spirra after all right about the same time SureShot passed him for second. Arse.

Race 2 TM Rev
No, the Spirra's great! Trial Mountain reverse is a fun track for the Venari, and Holden and Roo couldn't hang on. The Domes prove to not be that quick, but Famine fills his Dome with win to grab the keys to the Ibiza. Hmm. Looks like this series could be over very quickly!

Race 3 SSR5 R
But no! Driving the Seat is almost exactly like what you'd expect from driving a small Spanish Hatchback, and the series leader is pummelled into submission in last. Holden darts the rapid Spirra into the lead quickly and stays there to get a Done drive, While daan, Sureshot and Venari claim the keys to warmed Mediterranean shopping carts too.

Race 4 R246

This one was a bit yawntastic. Power FTW, so the sports cars buggered off into the middle distance, with nary an Ibiza making a graduation score. Even the daanster at his fave track couldn't propel the Ibiza into a third, with Exelero whuppin' some Scottish ass in the Spirra.

Race 5 HSR Reverse

And them's the breaks! Spec chooses a colour by description, and his description of the colour suits Venari's description of the car. HSR is (duh)a speed circuit, and Exelero makes the best of it in the V8 Spirra. However, all others let the Ibiza take the strain, and at this point Venari started to grumble about "foul understeer" and "bloody stick-wagglers' advantage". Grumpy old git. Similarly, daan also lost the 'scrabble and draught' battle on the other LAN, but Famine, Holden and Car-less graduate to the Range Stormer. Heh.

Race 6 Apricot Hill Rev

Car-less and Holden don't get on with the British barge bruiser, while Famine gains a credible second for the Eagle. Roo loses out to Sureshot and Venari for Rangey drives.

Race 7 Cote d'Azur

The Rangey ensures hilarity and infamy around the Monegasque streets, many people's vision being filled with the flanks of the 4x4 totally sideways and smoking all four skins. Holden makes a good start and keeps it, but Venari is parked pretty much up his exhaust pipes for three of the four laps - just not quite enough room to pass, although the nose was well and truly shown on more than one occasion. Car-less and daan carve up the LAN A race between them, while Famine drags in the Eagle and waits for his four competitors to arrive in the next race, which was decided to be a one LAN race off with the five Eagle drivers... winnAH takes aHHllll!

Race 8 - Autumn Ring Mini Normal Eagle Race off

Venari gets good traction off the line and just keeps on going, The real race was for second and the battle was tough, with doorhandles and paint being traded for the first couple of laps before Famine took the advantage.

Winner: Venari! (Yay!)

We wound down the event with multiple prize-givings, overall UKGTP9 winner after the specially calculated ministrations (i.e. I've forgotten how) being:
Famine!



A (very, very) close second for the tough-driving Sureshot, enough to keep his panelbeater happy for months.

But, a new award for UKGTP9, we invited votes for 'Driver's Driver of the Event', and this was a clear win for the gentlemanly
Car-less!



The prize of the 'Golden Controller' was received with admiring gasps from everyone involved (and okay, maybe a little chuckle here and there too.) it was pretty cool, and with that out of the way, some more waffle, many thanks to all organisational hands involved, and a few drinks, we began to pack the kit away for our respective journeys home.

I loved it, and it all went too quickly. See you at the next one, wherever that may be!

Feel free to post photos and videos here. I can't wait to see some of the vids!

V.

Almost all the pictures are of the prizegiving - we were all always racing, so no pictures from the events.



What's wrong with this picture?



The UKGTP Rutland car park:



From left to right: Roo's Merc, Milford Cubicle's MX5 (Ellie), daans' 406 Coupe, Famine's MX3, TheCracker's Forester and peeking out at the back is Venari's FTO.

The Spring class of 2008, from left to right:



Back row: Nigel (Sureshot), Andrew (HoldenHSVGTSR), David (Car-less), Ben (Specialized), Andrew (Famine), David (daan).
Front row: Mark (Venari), Carys (EXelero), Nathan (Roo).
Not shown: Kendra (Milford Cubicle), Dan (TheCracker).

Ace group shot, there 👍

Venari

Epic Dutch-Shtyle League Rayshing

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Almost did a double-take at that one...

Venari surely wins the record for fastest ever UKGTP results postage. Great work so far!

Touring Mars

Venari surely wins the record for fastest ever UKGTP results postage. Great work so far!

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But will he manage to complete day 3?

Great photos, Nathan. We need a certain crop of the group photo though....

Wow, great read (nice work, Venari) and great photos to match.

So far looks you guys had a blast... but we want to see the dirt, the backstage, the papparazzi shots.

Looking at those results, it would seem this was the most well balanced edition so far. 👍

one of the videos from the races, a live onboard of venari chasing car-less in the 406's

You were driving your Pug within a few minutes of that photo, weren't you? Naughty boy!







Me being shot by my prize, this was at home today. The large breasts on the window...

My new user title should give you a clue about whose hand is fondling Famine's chest!

Edit: I realise some of them are a bit naff, I just put them all in.

That Pug race was a proper no-holds-barred race. However, I'm glad to see that after six laps of severe armco crunching, wingmirror destroying action, I decided that after one hard (and unfair) battering in turn one I conceded the place back to Dave.

I'd love to have had an external of that race. It was like the chase scene in Ronin.

I remember that too, I was 1st going into the last corner!

Holdenhsvgtsr

one of the videos from the races, a live onboard of venari chasing car-less in the 406's

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I think the first part of this video was mostly Mark chasing me. By the second one i'd made my escape and just held on to the lead to the end.

TheCracker

I think the first part of this video was mostly Mark chasing me. By the second one i'd made my escape and just held on to the lead to the end.

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Ah ok i was wondering who the other car was,i had remembered that towards the end it was David and Mark battling out to the finish,Was waiting till the results came up to see who the other driver was.

I am absolutley gutted I couldn't attend. I got up saturday morning at 5am prepared mentally for some racing, unfortunatly I wasn't physically prepared as I couldn't even hold down my breakfast . Why did I choose scrambled egg?

Course I wouldn't let such a thing stop me, loaded a few final items into the car but my parents wouldn't let me go (quite rightly), they said I was in no fit state to drive. Which they where right about in their defence but did they offer to drive for me? well ok its quite a drive there and back for someone who isn't going to attend.

I decided I would rest and try and make it down the next day, so saturday nights entertainment for me was the eurovision song contest . Sunday morning I was no better although I got better throughout the day, Monday I almost came but decided it was not worth it for the day.

absolutley gutted .

Well I hope I am better for the dixie, or I will probably have died form weight loss.

That sucks. At least you hadn't paid for the hotel or anything. How are you feeling now?

I've been better.

Stevisiov.

as I couldn't even hold down my breakfast .

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You didn't actually put your hand down your throat and try to hold it down, did you?

A shame you couldn't come Steve, I'd have only beaten you though, so maybe it was for the best

Sureshot

You didn't actually put your hand down your throat and try to hold it down, did you?

A shame you couldn't come Steve, I'd have only beaten you though, so maybe it was for the best

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Nah, last corner of deep forest says otherwise

Famine does like to come in from behind...

He's alive!!!

[fighting talk]
I seem to recall my 406 coupe spending all of it's time on the actual track...
[/fighting talk]

The first corner at Deep Forest was quite difficult, every time it went into a power slide. Looking at that video you can see it took Venari about 4/5 laps to get it right.

Looks like you had some good fun....




wish I was there....still

Sureshot

Looking at that video you can see it took Venari about 4/5 laps to get it right.

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I got it right?

I have driven it before, quite a lot, for some weird reason, so I should know all of it's little foibles, but I've never gotten it quite as sideyways as Sureshot and Roo did in our race!

Updated. I must put in some descriptives of the presentations; after all, it wasn't all racing.

Venari

He had to crack eventually... On LAN one it was an easy race for daan in the A4. In post-race interview he admitted it was the class car of the field, but needless to say, the Scot bided his time and waited for the first full length of the straight to sail past everyone to a lead to the finish, Behind him, a hard fought battle raged yet again, but Venari quickly realised that the key to a good lap was keeping a good line at the first corner. Time after time cars screeched past on the inside, and time after time Venari held the smoother line and held ahis place. Passed by draughting by (I think) Sureshot and HoldenHSV later in the race, both competitors launched themselves heavily into the kitty litter and Venari broke away in the Alfa to take second.

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I seem to remember a load of us going off at the first turn on the first lap.

I seem to remember a load of you going off too. I think I just about kept it on the black stuff first lap; but well noted, I'll edit the text to include the detail.