I've driven... probably most of the hot hatchbacks launched in the last five years or so.
In general, you're pretty much spot on, at least with my own views on them, and you hit the nail on the head with the "exciting every time" comment. Hot hatches don't generally interest me that much - the quality that allows them to be great all-rounders (being based on regular family cars) can also make them a bit dull when you're not driving like a loony.
I bought my Peugeot for good reason. Aside from the fact I've always liked them, I've also been increasingly craving a more basic driving experience the more and more I drive modern vehicles. It's about as close as I could get to the interactivity of driving a proper classic while keeping some more modern attributes like ease of use, decent brakes, good body control etc.
You're also right on the Golf R. I've spent a lot of time in those, and they're astonishingly capable (and hugely quick) but I just can't get excited by them unless I'm driving at the sort of speeds I really don't feel comfortable driving at on public roads. Same goes for the RS3, five-cylinder or not.
However...
Not all the modern stuff is like the Golf R. Some of the smaller stuff can be brilliant fun, if you can stomach the gradual decrease in ride quality we seem to be getting (see: outgoing Fiesta ST, 208 GTI Pug Sport). Get them on a good road - ideally one twisty enough that you can exploit their chassis without necessarily using enough performance to break speed limits - and they can still be wonderfully interactive, turbo'd engines, power steering, aircon, satnavs and all. (Cheeky snap from a recent shoot to demonstrate...)
Also, I'd say that while I like a car to be exciting and interesting to drive even when I'm not driving quickly, by its very definition a hot hatch does
have to be "an accomplished daily driver". It's still, after all, a hatchback. The old Swift Sport is great, but it's still as great at being a regular shopping car as a non-Sport Swift. If it didn't do that, then you might as well buy an MX-5 and have even more fun...
Basically, what I'm saying is that modern hot hatches still have a lot to give, even if some of them are getting into the realms of the ridiculousness as far as outright performance is concerned. That, and it still looks like some companies "get it". The upcoming Swift seems to be on the money, VW's doing an Up GTI soon, and existing stuff like the Twingo GT and Brabus Smart are pretty good fun too (even if the Twingo isn't as good as it should be, and the Smart's too expensive). And in real terms, i.e. considering inflation, they're generally priced similarly to how the older stuff was back in the day. I'm quite hopeful that more companies will follow the lead of brands like Suzuki.