I ended up asking for this for Xmas.
It's mostly as I expected. Decent physics and details, some interesting content, and there is a considerable amount of objectives to complete. The damage model in practice means resetting the car over and over again just to do anything in a free roam setting, it's all cumbersome and janky (typically so for a title like this), and it's a sandbox. The freedom to do anything, to and with anything, leaves relatively few goals.
Driving a sportscar in Italy for the first time evoked a hint of what I wished
Forza Horizon 2 had been, but the handling still tends to range from vague to wobbly. Much better than the last time I sampled
BeamNG, but now I think that was because the simulation was CPU-starved on that older PC, which could hypothetically exaggerate the wobble.
(Biggest nitpick, unexpectedly: why is it so hard to see other cars' lights after dark?)
It's not that there's never a time in my sim-gaming schedule for playing with realistic damage, but it's rather binary; either I want to smash things, or I just want to bump off of things.
The best experiences I've had with this game so far are some of the chase/evade and delivery events with some personality to them, and exploring the Fujigoko mod map. Fujigoko's secret is excellent; exactly the kind of creativity I want to see more of in sims, like '90s classics. 👍