- 5,785
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**CAR OF THE WEEK! Friday 16/03/12**
- Thread starter Turismo.M.G!
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- 5,785
- Norman, OK
- McClarenDesign
- 5,785
- Norman, OK
- McClarenDesign
-McClarenDesign's-
Very Serious SLS AMG Review of the Car of the Week N Stuff
"Write what you want. You don't need me." -Bill Vukovich
Very Serious SLS AMG Review of the Car of the Week N Stuff
"Write what you want. You don't need me." -Bill Vukovich
Week 6: 1973 BMW 2002 Turbo
Once again we've been handed the keys to a German automobile, but unlike the Audi we tested a few weeks ago, we felt confident that we could leave the Polos, khakis, and bluetooths at home for a change. This week we'd be driving a proper enthusiasts' car. Specifically, the 2002 Turbo.
Released in 1973, this car pre-dates all the stereotypes typically associated with BMW drivers. In fact, this is one of the cars that put BMW on the map. Think of it as the great-grandfather to the 1M and the M3. Without this car, BMW wouldn't have attained the level of elitism it's owners currently enjoy today. This final iteration of the mark's Neue Klasse would set the benchmark for future performance cars from BMW.
Furthermore, the technology developed in this car found it's way onto the racetrack, in a backwards sort of way. Developing the 2002's turbo gave BMW a better understanding of the technology when it decided to supply Brabham with it's engines in 1980. That car was designed by Gordon Murray, who later went on to pen the infamous McLaren F1 road and race cars, and Nelson Piquet would later go on to win the 1983 World Championship.
So, in short, this week looks promising. And if I'm honest, the styling isn't half bad for something from the '70s, so long as the car isn't shod in some offensive shade of orange, or a drab shade of Olive green. Or worse yet, chocolate brown. I don't think we really need to go into what the browns of the 70s looked like, but let's just say it's nearly the same shade as what's left in the toilet after dinner at a less-than-reputable restaurant.
According to Polyphony Digital (via Translator-san):
Right, so now it's off to fetch the car, and off to fetch our new driver. Given the troubles of past drivers, we felt the need to ensure we got a driver that could get the most out of the vehicle, and posses a clean record and the ability to pass customs. To find a driver of the highest calibur, we searched every avenue available to us, including the best racing schools in the country.Translator-san
At the garage, we were rewarded with our rare 2002, a sleek sedan in a not-so-'70s metallic green. We also met with Richard Bradley, our new driver, and Gunther. Gunther is on loan from BMW, here to guarantee that should anything go wrong, we'd be taken care of. Richard we got from Craigslist.
Performance as Purchased: December 13, 2010, Taiga Metallic (Green)
Displacement: 1,900 cc
Max. Power: 163 hp @ 6,000 rpm
Max. Torque: 171 ft-lbs. @ 4,000 rpm
Drivetrain: FR
Length: 4,220 mm Height: 1,410 mm Weight: 1080 kg
Tires: Comfort (Soft)
Performance Points: 383
Mileage: 0.0 mi.
Once we had taken delivery, we handed it over to our Pep Boys brothers-from-different-mothers, and they went about checking all of the various fluids and innards of our car to ensure absolute safety and reliability. According to Translator-san, the turbos can be a bit cumbersome, and the last thing we want to do is push back the car from the far end of our Super Secret Route X test track (located a mile from I-35). While the engine was in good repair, the chassis needed some sorting, and apparently our pockets needed to be lightened exactly 28,000 Credits worth. With fresh oil in, we'd extracted an extra 7 Performance Points (now 390) and only 8 horsepower (now 171).
Cheap, compared with other cars, but remember, this one is a virgin. And we do like virgins.
Left: Gunther from BMW, Right: Pep Boys Bros.
With the scientific variables minimalized, we stuck our internet-sourced driver out on the track. Normally, this routine would involve all sorts of shenanigans, however this time he just... got in. And drove. Properly. And by properly, I mean properly proper. During the first test, he never exceeded 55 mph. When entering the pits, he had the audacity to use his turn signals.
Clearly we weren't going to get anywhere. Something had to be done, and I had a plan. While waiting for his return, Gunther and I set about steali... borrowing a Z4M from the parking lot. I thought it was a bit much, but Gunther assured me that the man that owned this Z4 deserved everything he had coming, and who was I to say no now? I was already an accessory to a criminal act, so might as well live up to the part.
With the driver back, it was time for the final stage of my plan. Gunther distracted Richard just long enough for me to sneak up behind him, and punt his testicles to the moon. Sure enough, the pain quickly subsided, and I had a properly pissed off racing driver. Jumping into the
Now we can get some accurate data.
The resulting chase produced a 0-60 mph time of 0:07.833 and a quarter-mile time of 0:16.144, which was all well and good, but no where near enough to keep up with the Z. Our plan had worked perfectly.
Except, it hadn't. I thought the track would be long enough that our kind driver would simply forget about the incident, and move on to the next track.
Clearly, I was wrong. Ask my testicles about their NASA-like ascent.
For those keeping score at home, other notable data includes: 0-1 mi.: 0:40.507, 0-100 mph: 0:20.656, Max. G-Force: 0.58G, Top Speed: 132.6 mph
Before we could begin a full-on assault on The Ring, we needed to bring our new driver up to speed, and preferrably a speed greater than 55 mph. To do this, we sent him out along the trails of the Eiger Norwand, and gave him ten laps to see what he was made of. We weren't dissappointed, because with each passing lap he continued to get faster and faster. More importantly, he wasn't hitting anything. With each passing lap, his confidence rose, and he actually seemed to be enjoying himself.
1:22.267 is what he put in the books.
The 2002 has been labeled "the Porsche Killer", and to see if this is true, we went to the Ring. If you're going to test a German car, you can rest assured that it has been here at least once during its development. Once again, we sent our driver out. As an extra measurement of precaution, we also took out a little insurance. Both on the car, and the driver.
What? Well it is The Green Hell.
I'd love to tell you what it's like. How the car slides along the corners, pushing right up to the edge on its absolute limit. I'd love to tell you what it's like diving around Karussell, or tip-toeing through Flugplatz.
I'd also love to tell you about the interior, and how it related to other cars of the time. I'd love to lecture about the benifits of cassette tapes versus iPods and CDs. However, I'm afraid I can't.
I'm sure you desperately want to know about the turbo lag, and infintesimal amount of time it takes to reach top speed. I'm sure the youths want to know how it looks after it's had new kicks (whatever that is), a custom paint job, and a Paul Walker wing. No doubt, the older enthusiasts will want to know what it's like on the absolute edge, and all the modifications one could make to christen it a race car.
But, I'm sorry, you'll just have to continue to want.
And although our newly-hired, internet-friendly, dearly-departed driver is no longer with us, I'm afraid I just cannot be bothered.
You see, I've got to get to the bank.
Instead, tonight I leave you with a video that best illustrates exactly how important this car is.
Week 1: 2001 Alfa Romeo Spider 3.0i V6 24V
Week 2: 1966 Alfa Romeo Spider 1600 Duetto
Week 3: 2000 Toyota Sprinter Trueno GT-APEX (S. Shigeno Ver.)
Week 4: 2007 Audi TT Coupe 3.2 Quattro
Week 5: 1983 Nissan Silvia 240RS (S110) and 1985 Nissan 240RS Rally Car
*The views and opinions expressed in this editorial do not reflect the views and opinions of gtplanet.net, any of its members, nor anyone with an IQ above 3. All views, comments, statements, accusations, claims, data... you know what, just forget you read the whole thing and direct your hate mail/Tame Racing Driver applications to McClarenDesign@gmail.com. The statements made above are similar to your parents; both are fictional.
This ad paid for by Friends of Global Morals support for presidential candidate Jenkins. 
GTKitty4Prez . Please consult doctor before use. Some assembly required. Wardrobe provided courtesy of Sparco. McClarenDesign registered very serious SLS AMG. DO NOT ATTEMPT. Consult manual before use. Your mileage may vary. Some restrictions may apply. All stunts performed on public roads without law enforcement supervision. Void where prohibited. Offer not valid to those that breathe air. Some portions of this show have been filmed before a live studio audience.Ed. Note: RIP R. Bradley (388 Wins/3246 Races)
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- 499
- LR-MR-Cole
best one yet next to alfa
- 5,785
- Norman, OK
- McClarenDesign
LR-MR-Cole
Which Alfa?
- 5,785
- Norman, OK
- McClarenDesign
New car time?! TGIF!
- 5,785
- Norman, OK
- McClarenDesign
krenkme👍 I hope I have more time for the next car. This weeks car is a great car, so much so I used it in a shootout. I just wish I had the time to see what else I could've done with it.
Week goes by fast. Wish we knew what the next car was. Lunchtime bench racing ftw!
- 621
- United States
Whens the next COTW? I love this! (and my 2002 turbo
)
P.S. I know its today, but WHEN today? please make it soon!
)P.S. I know its today, but WHEN today? please make it soon!
.......it's quiet .... too quiet.... 
- 160
- Manchester/England
- webbithegooner
Just awaiting the nominated persons selection. Will be up as soon as I get it. Hold on just a little bit longer....
My fault, I didn't ask until late. I have been busy you see, I met the Queen today! (Really!), although I do feel she would have understood if I had left early if I explained that it was for GT5 reasons.
My fault, I didn't ask until late. I have been busy you see, I met the Queen today! (Really!), although I do feel she would have understood if I had left early if I explained that it was for GT5 reasons.
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- 5,785
- Norman, OK
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Turismo.M.G!
THE Queen or Elton John? Lol
- 160
- Manchester/England
- webbithegooner
Lol! THE, Her Maj the Q. Maybe I am old fashioned but I thought it was kind of special.
- 3,826
- Melbourne
- Milldrum
I did not have enough time with this car this week. I have taken it to 'UK Road Rules' rooms in the past and drifted around Toscana tracks. I have now painted mine white. But I did have it in Olive.
The stripe on the side is restored as a major part of the design now that I have painted it white. This car is one of my favorites and will stay there for quite a while.
The stripe on the side is restored as a major part of the design now that I have painted it white. This car is one of my favorites and will stay there for quite a while.
- 1,142
- Clayton/ NC/ US
- Sanderson1981
Where's the god damn car of the week? (Sorry. I've been watchin' Bernie Mac stand up.)
- 5,785
- Norman, OK
- McClarenDesign
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