Depression and Anxiety Thread

[VBR]

 

[Gerarghini]

Do you have a roommate? And how big is the school, in terms of number of students.

No roommates
No buddies
No happiness /s

I'm living with a family since their rent was pretty cheap and UCM has about 7k? Either way, point being, I've joined a host of clubs and I guess you can call them friends for the time being but I know I'll have to spend more time with them.

 

[kikie]

To whom it may concern:

An 8-week, randomized, double-blind, placebo-controlled clinical trial showed that curcumin is as effective or even more effective as antidepressant.
Link
Mind you, this is just one clinical trial.

Personal experience (father) shows that it truly works.

 

[CTznOfTime]

Counterpoint:

I may not understand how depression affect oneself, but i woyld advice against any sort of medication as solution.

Go clear your head in nature.
Meditate, accept and move on.

A pill will never solve your problems.

Go breath fresh air.
Resort to art...
Help yourself by helping others first...

And if you are anti social, thats ok too, go hug a tree.

There is solace in enjoying the beauty that nature has to offer.

You will be refreshed.
Stay positive... Love yourself, love others, love nature.

Love.

Good luck to all being affected by this, you can get through it.

We are here for you.

Love.

 

[Dan]

I may not understand how depression affect oneself, but i woyld advice against any sort of medication as solution.

Go clear your head in nature.
Meditate, accept and move on.

A pill will never solve your problems.

... And that is why you're not a doctor or a therapist. Pills do help people. Perhaps not everyone, but for some it can mean the difference between life and death. Telling people to go against their doctor's advice is dangerous and irresponsible. The sentiment of "Just go meditate in the woods for an afternoon" or "Do yoga on the beach at sunrise" will not solve anyone's problems. It also comes across as being insensitive towards people suffering from depression.

 

[Casey]

I have tried taking some anti depressant's and mood stabilizers in the past before and they just made me feel worse so I just stay away from them.

Anyways I actually haven't been feeling depressed in a while even though I'm still in the same situation with no job. I noticed how everyone I know is kinda having trouble finding a job besides a few who went into the military so I don't really worry about it as much.

 

[CTznOfTime]

... And that is why you're not a doctor or a therapist. Pills do help people. Perhaps not everyone, but for some it can mean the difference between life and death. Telling people to go against their doctor's advice is dangerous and irresponsible. The sentiment of "Just go meditate in the woods for an afternoon" or "Do yoga on the beach at sunrise" will not solve anyone's problems. It also comes across as being insensitive towards people suffering from depression.

To all here affected by mental illness (whether you know it or not), pardon my ignorance, but my earlier suggestions came out of good intentions.

I never said i am better than a doctor, or that i know more than a doctor or that people should not listen to their doctor.

What i was trying to say is that:
Prior to seeing the doctor, you should consider the natural ways of treating yourself if you havent already done so.

I just dont think pills only solve your intended problem, they would add more to it in the long run.

I am just saying. Of course everyone here is more than free to ignore my non-senses.

Peace to all.

 

[rono_thomas]

I may not understand how depression affect oneself,

Clearly.

Prior to seeing the doctor, you should consider the natural ways of treating yourself if you havent already done so.

Please anyone dont follow this, talk to whoever you need to, hidden disabilities or illness do not need for you to feel alone. Talk to loved ones, talk to doctors, talk to friends.

 

[lancia delta hf]

I have tried taking some anti depressant's and mood stabilizers in the past before and they just made me feel worse so I just stay away from them.

Anyways I actually haven't been feeling depressed in a while even though I'm still in the same situation with no job. I noticed how everyone I know is kinda having trouble finding a job besides a few who went into the military so I don't really worry about it as much.

I had severe depression in 2003, not gonna get into it now as its late and I'm in bed. But how I got out of it was by asking myself why I felt the way I did, what was my problem, it was nothing physical I could grab. I kept telling myself no matter how bad things got, how bad I felt, it couldn't last. I would feel better at some point. Long story short, I decided to accept everything in my past as my story, the first chapter in my book, which was written, moulded by everything around me from the day I was born. But now I would start a new chapter and I would write it myself.

I decided I would start training again and eat properly and put on a couple stone on muscle. I would focus on it and put me first ( not selfishly), and to do this I would eat a healthy diet, for body and mind. I would give my body everything it needed, which just happened to be good for my brain too. Healthy body healthy mind.

I'm not going to tell you want to take, I'm going to tell you what I took during this rebuilding of myself, and to research it yourself to see if it can help you. I took flaxseed oil ( powdered form ), 5HTP, Taurine, L-Tyrosine, omega ( or fish oil ), along with a balanced diet ( for my training goals), Rhodiola Rosea, and one or 2 things I can't recall. This along with training, a new outlook and focus on me and enjoying myself. I started this regime after I was advised by my doctor to have counseling, to which I agreed but ended up not going through with due to untimely circumstances which as I said won't go into for said reasons. This cured me for good, I accepted my demons, then let them go and moved on, then within the year I walked with a bounce in my step.

Do not just take these without research, especially if you take other meds for depression. If you have any questions feel free to ask.

Clearly.



Please anyone dont follow this, talk to whoever you need to, hidden disabilities or illness do not need for you to feel alone. Talk to loved ones, talk to doctors, talk to friends.

Agree, my depression was compounded by the fact that I felt I could not talk to anyone, I managed in my despair to pluck up the courage to open up to my mom, she interrupted me whilst I was started talking. Needless to that would be the last time I ever had that idea again. When I was offered counselling I knew I had to take, it felt like a break through. I didn't even go to the doctors that day for my depression, but the doctor seamed to know I was not in a good place, I could tell she was wasn't giving me guidance just because it was her job. She seamed genuinely concerned and looking out for me.

 

[ToyGTone]

Update since i haven't done one in a while. My life is been on a rough hill lately and i feel like i'm getting worse and worse. I have recently started my uni life and as much as i'm glad that those awful school days are over, i miss having close friends. I haven't talked to any of my old friends for a while and the last time i tried to talk to someone, he seems to have forgotten about me and ended up the call. I'm still struggling with finding new people over there and i find several courses to be way too much for my brain. It's hard to focus on anything study related without suddenly start thinking about a completely different thing.

I have stopped taking any medicines due to me cutting up ties with the doctor and haven't find another doctor and a therapist yet. Some days feels fun when you spend time with your family and stuff but most of my days feels awful. I tend to get angrier quite fast or have an anxiety attack whatever i hear something negative relating to me. Be it on the internet where everyone seems to hate you and they all go circle jerk on you for being different or in the real world where people complain about my constant movement during wrong times or total laziness to do anything.

On more positive note, i currently have a friend that i met online and have been talking to each other almost on daily bases since almost 3 months ago. She made my days a bit more bearable.

Sorry for the long posts.

 

[Com Fox]

So, looking in insight of my year, 2017 has to be my worst year. It has even set me back a couple of improvements that I developed in High School, and all I really feel is depressed and miserable. This the first time I felt absolutely lonely, while I like the idea of being alone, lonely is a different story and man does it feel very bad.

I think I already mentioned how in Senior Year of High School, I struggled with the idea of what do for my future, like I'm falling behind, stuck in limbo while not improving in most of my subjects (especially Japanese). It was a struggle but was able to pull through thanks to friends, my family, my Japanese tutor and the subjects of Maths General 1, Ancient History and Drama were a blast that kept me coming back to school (though I never intend to truant ) with my future supposedly being answered with a Job Centre program to help people with disability with jobs as well as their career path and future.

Oh boy, has that not been working out.

It started off ok, I went in warming up with the program and the people that are there. Friday activities were usually fun. One thing I can say is that it really helped me with Job Interviews as well as resumes and cover letters.

However, it's when we enter "Team Building" day that it all went to 🤬. Now I thought I'd be fine with the idea of teamwork after doing it for 2 years in completely different groups for Drama, we learned to get along and work in the same page throughout and lets just say, most of us had this bond that made it hard for us to leave the Drama room for the last time , and I thought it really helped me with confidence and working as a team but that day completely ruined the taste I had for teams. People were insufferable and uncooperative, we had to do a basket making challenge to see if the basket can protect the egg from dropping. I was in a group of 4, one of the guys (call him A), immediately went to the project without any planning and then asked if it was a good plan which made the basket look way to wide as well as hard paddings on the bottom. The other 2 really didn't care and just went with what was being said but I through in my criticism and suggested a sort of long wase basket to wrap the egg around to protect it from breaking after dropping and Guy A just ignored and wanted to do his idea at full (when we were already running out of equipment to even retry, especially since one of the requirements to get more was 10 push ups from all members which I can't even do 1). I then tried to further explain why I don't think his idea wouldn't work as it gives the egg too much room and he just shot all my criticisms down with "your just being a pessimist", I excused myself after that and never returned to the project and just hid in the toilets for most of the lesson to calm myself down.

After that never got better, I started to alienate myself with team based affairs, especially since when I tried again with Guy A, during clean-up. He wanted the both of us to clean the table while I was doing it, I suggested that it be faster if he did another task since I was already underway and it doesn't take long and then he immediately shrugged me off as someone who doesn't like teamwork, to be fair he wasn't wrong on that but at that point I was trying. I pretty much just gave up trying to be a team player and whenever I'm forced too, I either intentionally botch it as fast as possible or excuse myself to the toilet and stall. People either don't try to think of ways to do task, or try to get way too much control over the situation.

This kind of leads me to the people of Job Centre, now I was always a cynical person in real life but this experience has just made me kick the cynicism up to 11. Now there are people that I like, some are genuinely sweet, some are fun, while there are 2 people I hit off well with due to our love of games (and one of them is a fellow Yugioh player) and this new guy who showed up we hit off well too since we are both massive motorsport fans. Almost everyone in-between I have massive trust issues with, they act hypocritical and genuinely just suck up to the staff. Most of these have a serious bad case of while being nice around staff, often condescend everyone in the same level or below them when they aren't around, sometimes they'll even show off how "great" they are as a person with empty compliments everywhere in front of staff. Then the staff introduced this new reward system which has done nothing but encourage the sucking up while also allowing the staff to bribe us with rewards to do something. There was this one girl who is the most massive two-face I've ever seen, she did this rant about how rude it is to gossip and talk behind people's back at one point as well as telling her supposed boyfriend (I say supposed because how it goes on, I'm not even sure) about respecting her space as well as not to annoy her or call her constantly but when her "boyfriend" leaves to do something, she just goes to a group of people and 🤬 about him non-stop. I was just appalled about this and made me realize and remember how many other people here have been doing the same which massively alienated me.

Further on the alienation, there is this thing going around called art therapy, I like drawing so I gave it a try to see if I'd like it or not and perhaps get something out of it. Is it weird for a therapy session to alienate you even more? That's what happened with me, most people in were talking about their issues growing up and how what they wanted to do was hindered by bullys and all that, while I felt sorry for them and proud that they were able to tell us what they were going through, their similar stories made me feel much more uncomfortable telling my story and how I handled bullies. I did get bullied during primary school and the start of high school but instead of usual methods (according to the stories I hear), I decided to "grow a back bone" and not let people know that they had me in their grasp. I either ignored, shrugged or rebuttal back at the people who taunted me until it finally stopped, which made me feel some sort of accomplished that I didn't have to go through that, however my goal was just for it to stop not so it can get me my goals, which I never figured out. This "accomplishment" in fact probably made me feel even more empty of not knowing what to do and because of how I coped with it differently instead of the stories heard, I just felt uncomfortable sharing it, like no one would understand and probably even shut it down and say that I'm lucky.

The whole program as a whole hasn't exactly being getting me into knowing what to do with my future either, we sometimes have these industry visits or studies and since they are the most popular. It is always either Hospitality, Trades or Retail. If you hate these and have no interest well the you're 🤬. The staff even ask questions expecting you to know what you want so they can help you with getting their which is nice but they keep doing it to me, after constantly saying I don't know what I want. I want something to look forward too, I want to have some life goals and desires. The only thing I look forward too nowadays is news on new Yugioh cards as well as Nintendo games. We had a lesson at one point where it was point your strengths and interests and putting them in the right job/industry, I actually was excited as it felt like something for me only whoops, it was actually about if you're current dream job (something I don't 🤬 have) fits with your skills and interests. I was the only one who never got a proper answer because of it and it made me just feel awful. Now there are 1 on 1 sessions with staff which I have tried but everything as sent me back. The first time, got me into counseling which initially helped and the lady I was with was super nice but it didn't last long with where I am, second time got me into a TAFE course which got cancelled before it began, then I got into a harder version of it and it got cancelled after the 2nd week, I pretty much just gave up on the computer industry after that, it was completely hopeless. There was talks about using my Drama experience and joining options and expanding on it, I was meant to have a trial day but it got delayed for next week and then, nothing came from it, I never heard from it again. Next one on one I decided to randomly give an automotive career a try with work experience and a TAFE course, and well, I never heard from it again either.

If there was anything that wasn't game related that brighten up my year was finally coming to watch Zootopia after all this time and discovering my new favourite non-Pokemon movie, what hit me hard actually was the character Nick Wilde, I found him massively relate-able with my experiences and struggles right now as well as in the past, like I watch the movie at the right time. This is the first time I found a character I could relate too and it was a good feeling and gave me a bit of a highlight of this year over pieces of disappointment and kinda why I use him as my avatar currently.

but still, I'm stuck here in limbo, and with my friends all moving on to do great things and looking to their futures, I'm left behind, and now I feel like I have no one to really talk to for help, every attempt has been a failure, my friends are gone and almost everyone else is a backstabber or only really looks for their own interest. Makes me want to find something on my own and take that power for myself but I'm massively afraid of the idea of the point of no return. This is the first time in my life I actually cry in bead some nights, feeling depressed and not knowing what to do.

 

[JohnBM01]

It is really sad when you feel like you can't be trusted or loved among others no matter how hard you try. It is as if all you have is yourself; and sometimes, you can't even love yourself trying to put up with other people in your life. I think it is worse if those around you who you can't trust are your own family. I heard of the expression of "friends are family you choose." But even then, it feels like a losing cause when even those people can't be trusted all that much. So who do you turn to in these times? Who do you love and care about? Again- some people have nobody. When you have nobody to lean on or care for you, life just gets that much more depressing.

All I can say to those of you in this situation is to try to tough things out as best as you can. It won't help make life better, but it is sometimes all you can do to slowly get to a point where life can be enjoyable again for you. I sometimes keep saying that you folks on GTPlanet are like family to me. I don't say that just to be nice; I say that because I know what it feels like to have caring and respectful people. Also, it proves that there are good people in the world with good hearts. Maybe individuals do not always do and say the right things all the time, but at least there are those worth being thankful to know and love and respect. Even before I joined GTPlanet in 2003, the last such message board devoted mostly to racing/driving games was where I felt disrespected and felt like a chew toy to others. I hate feeling like I don't belong or that I don't mean anything to anyone. So I sympathize with those of you who are in this sort of situation with the people around you. I also hope for happier times for you in these situations.

You all take care and be well.

 

[Com Fox]

One of the people at Job Centre has been encouraging me to see someone for special one-on-one recentlys and I think it is going well. Way better for me than the art therapy.

She told me about how several of my problems could be boiled down to expecting too much, which I think makes sense especially with what I look at what I recently posted on this thread and it kinda remind me of my previous therapist and how she told me to think about how things could spiral before assuming to spiral out of control.

Both of them have given suggestions that it could not be my fault at all with the issues I have with teams but perhaps it's the people in the supposed teams is what's causing it. Personally still on the fence on this especially since I am self aware of my trust issues to begin with and I kind of want another opinion this (I posted my current struggle with the idea of team on the previous post).

Still trying to grasp some sort of power for myself, trying to see how writing could turn out, not professionally but just something to do for the sake of it and make some sort of personal goal.

Overall, perhaps something is looking up however, still not confident on getting somewhere with this current arrangement since the 2 plans I had with them have fizzled out and quietly died and still wondering if those would ever come into fruition.

 

[JohnBM01]

Earlier tonight, my grandmother died. Situations such as the death of a loved one is something that really tugs at you and can lead to being depressed. That is especially if someone has meant so much to you. While I am sad, I haven't felt like I've lost the will to live or anything. If you lost someone whom you've loved a lot, I hope you are able to deal with things as best as you can.

Don't let depression win. Stay strong, everyone.

 

[GTboyz]

It is really sad when you feel like you can't be trusted or loved among others no matter how hard you try. It is as if all you have is yourself; and sometimes, you can't even love yourself trying to put up with other people in your life. I think it is worse if those around you who you can't trust are your own family. I heard of the expression of "friends are family you choose." But even then, it feels like a losing cause when even those people can't be trusted all that much. So who do you turn to in these times? Who do you love and care about? Again- some people have nobody. When you have nobody to lean on or care for you, life just gets that much more depressing.

All I can say to those of you in this situation is to try to tough things out as best as you can. It won't help make life better, but it is sometimes all you can do to slowly get to a point where life can be enjoyable again for you. I sometimes keep saying that you folks on GTPlanet are like family to me. I don't say that just to be nice; I say that because I know what it feels like to have caring and respectful people. Also, it proves that there are good people in the world with good hearts. Maybe individuals do not always do and say the right things all the time, but at least there are those worth being thankful to know and love and respect. Even before I joined GTPlanet in 2003, the last such message board devoted mostly to racing/driving games was where I felt disrespected and felt like a chew toy to others. I hate feeling like I don't belong or that I don't mean anything to anyone. So I sympathize with those of you who are in this sort of situation with the people around you. I also hope for happier times for you in these situations.

You all take care and be well.

Thank you, i kinda need this right now, i'm barely holding it together these past months since i crashed and burned last year. Things have been up and down, i avoided all depression related stuff to see how long i can keep walking and finally i crashed again this week. Sucks so bad.

 

[GTracer125]

Alright, it’s time I opened my mouth about this, enough is enough, I just want someone to know, someone to believe, someone to hear, and someone to remember, this is what has been happening to me right now.

I am sick, I am sick of something right now and I don’t know what it is, It started three months ago truest, all I have been is a terrible survivor, a hermit stuck in his room all day. Doing nothing but play video games, eat and sleep late, doing whatever, and now it’s taken it’s toll on me, I woke up one day sick with something, the feeling of being unable to breathe and inability to eat properly, I didn’t know why, and I was going to the bathroom a lot, I went to the ER, it was the first week of July, a Monday, I got checked out, It was little dehydration and that was that, but I noticed that I was nervous, I was starting to get really nervous, I was also going to Mexico on the last week of July and that was when it peaked the second time, the days before the trip, my eating habits were affected, I had trouble eating once again, but I didn’t have to go to the bathroom to do number 2, I felt sick and felt like I was dying pretty much, all the energy was faded, I am a pretty skinny guy mostly cause I get sick often due to me not taking care of myself properly, but I held my own even in the worst of times, especially when I was trapped in that mental ward a year before, but I knew I had limits in this frail body, and the limits was broken, In Mexico I felt worse, I couldn’t eat at all in the first day, and I was eating late due to moving from place to place and from hotel to hotel since we had to switch over for reasons I can’t remember, I was hungry but the nausea I got from not eating made it unbearable for me to put anything in my mouth, I felt like garbage, it wasn’t until the 2nd week when I went to my mother’s town that I felt worse, and note that I am on Lexapro 30 MG’s and have been taking it everyday at that time and I have metal bars in my body due to a ribcage deformation, and yeah I got sick with a stomach infection and got meds for it over there, of course irresponsiblity took over and I only took the medications for the stomach infection for 5 days only because I was leaving back home the next week, just remembering how stupid I was and should’ve just told my parents I was unhealthy and It was a bad idea for me to go but of course, me being old and not wanting to go outside unjustified my feelings, I ate poorly everyday pretty much in general and was doing a lot of no.2 daily either way, I was pretty much killing myself, the day I got home, I didn’t eat jack the whole day, and drank very little, It was my fault but at the same time, I couldn’t do enough to stop it, either way I went to the E.R again, got checked out and I was just dehydrated again, I was noticing something, my medical history with my mental problems, was always present when I got checked out and since my history with that hospital isn’t very good, I wasn’t getting proper care, so I was on my own, I started eating again like normal but I knew deep down, It wasn’t enough and I was near death once again and one cared,

Three weeks ago, I woke up sick once again, I couldn’t eat and drinking liquids was giving me problems, even bloody water, and I went to the E.R again, again my mental history didn’t make the doctors care about my pain but they did check my blood and urine and it showed up fine, somehow, and I went cold turkey on my Lexapro that day by accident mostly out of fear for my stomach, I was given Zantac for the stomach acidity that I expressed to them and that was that, I was stuck in that damn E.R from 12:00 am to 4:00am and I felt like absolute death, I was dying I knew I was, but again no one seemed to care, I went to another doctor on Tuesday the next week and had blood and urine done, again same thing happened, nothing showed up but I gotta get a CT scan for whatever reason, and I still felt like garbage, I was eating but not enough and my options were limited due to my stomach, I went to a natural doctor, a Lyme disease survivor, and I got checked out and found my nerves are in a frenzy, and got a natural remedy for it, I started taking it and vitamins but the feeling of a hole between my chest and stomach was getting to me, I felt like I wasn’t getting air and I was getting skinny by the day, and cut to right now, I got a sore throat out of nowhere around three days ago, and I went cold turkey on my meds again, I am tired and I am done, but I don’t want to die, I am afraid, very afraid right now, I have no where to go or do, I can’t do anything, every morning I feel like my brain doesn’t have oxygen going to it, and I wake up with saliva coming out my mouth like a worm, cold sweats, sweaty palms, soreness all over, desperation, anger, agony, hatred, rage, hunger, trouble breathing, stomach pain, nausea, fast heart rate, increased urination, increased no.2, and a bunch of other symptoms I just don’t know,

Of course research on the internet hasn’t made me feel better, and I don’t know what I am dealing with, All I know is I am dying and it’s too late to stop it, It doesn’t matter anyways but I don’t want to die, I don’t want to, I don’t want to suffer anymore, I just someone to listen, a friend, a real friend, but I don’t know, typing all of these has worn me out, I don’t know, the unknown is what scares me the most, and death is the easy way out but I don’t want that, all of this is my fault, but I acknowledge that it is, it just feels too late to change anything, it doesn’t matter how much water I drink or how much healthy food I try to eat, it just feels too late.

 

[JohnBM01]

Wow... GTracer125. All of these depression stories are really compelling. Some of you have faced depression FAR worse than what I've experienced.

This has not been a good month for me. My grandmother died earlier this month, and I had to go to the hospital to get a surgery and to treat some nasty infection. I miseed the online realm for nearly 13 days. I always say you all are like my extended international family. I've been grateful to win the respect of others on GTPlanet and to befriend many individuals here in my time as I am going on my 14th year on GTPlanet. So I've missed my GTP family while cooped up in the hospital, missing Thanksgiving and Black Friday with my family. You still have to value your life and be thankful for what you have. Some people have almost nothing to look to or live for. So be thankful for what you have. You don't need Thanksgiving to remind you what you are or should be thankful for.

Surely this is not a time of year to feel depressed. Not to say that there is a time to be depressed, but the Holidays are to be festive and cheery. I once again hope all of you will be well and can find the help you need to feel better again and to enjoy life and living again. I offer you my blessings and best wishes.

 

[JockeP22]

Alright, it’s time I opened my mouth about this, enough is enough, I just want someone to know, someone to believe, someone to hear, and someone to remember, this is what has been happening to me right now.

I am sick, I am sick of something right now and I don’t know what it is, It started three months ago truest, all I have been is a terrible survivor, a hermit stuck in his room all day. Doing nothing but play video games, eat and sleep late, doing whatever, and now it’s taken it’s toll on me, I woke up one day sick with something, the feeling of being unable to breathe and inability to eat properly, I didn’t know why, and I was going to the bathroom a lot, I went to the ER, it was the first week of July, a Monday, I got checked out, It was little dehydration and that was that, but I noticed that I was nervous, I was starting to get really nervous, I was also going to Mexico on the last week of July and that was when it peaked the second time, the days before the trip, my eating habits were affected, I had trouble eating once again, but I didn’t have to go to the bathroom to do number 2, I felt sick and felt like I was dying pretty much, all the energy was faded, I am a pretty skinny guy mostly cause I get sick often due to me not taking care of myself properly, but I held my own even in the worst of times, especially when I was trapped in that mental ward a year before, but I knew I had limits in this frail body, and the limits was broken, In Mexico I felt worse, I couldn’t eat at all in the first day, and I was eating late due to moving from place to place and from hotel to hotel since we had to switch over for reasons I can’t remember, I was hungry but the nausea I got from not eating made it unbearable for me to put anything in my mouth, I felt like garbage, it wasn’t until the 2nd week when I went to my mother’s town that I felt worse, and note that I am on Lexapro 30 MG’s and have been taking it everyday at that time and I have metal bars in my body due to a ribcage deformation, and yeah I got sick with a stomach infection and got meds for it over there, of course irresponsiblity took over and I only took the medications for the stomach infection for 5 days only because I was leaving back home the next week, just remembering how stupid I was and should’ve just told my parents I was unhealthy and It was a bad idea for me to go but of course, me being old and not wanting to go outside unjustified my feelings, I ate poorly everyday pretty much in general and was doing a lot of no.2 daily either way, I was pretty much killing myself, the day I got home, I didn’t eat jack the whole day, and drank very little, It was my fault but at the same time, I couldn’t do enough to stop it, either way I went to the E.R again, got checked out and I was just dehydrated again, I was noticing something, my medical history with my mental problems, was always present when I got checked out and since my history with that hospital isn’t very good, I wasn’t getting proper care, so I was on my own, I started eating again like normal but I knew deep down, It wasn’t enough and I was near death once again and one cared,

Three weeks ago, I woke up sick once again, I couldn’t eat and drinking liquids was giving me problems, even bloody water, and I went to the E.R again, again my mental history didn’t make the doctors care about my pain but they did check my blood and urine and it showed up fine, somehow, and I went cold turkey on my Lexapro that day by accident mostly out of fear for my stomach, I was given Zantac for the stomach acidity that I expressed to them and that was that, I was stuck in that damn E.R from 12:00 am to 4:00am and I felt like absolute death, I was dying I knew I was, but again no one seemed to care, I went to another doctor on Tuesday the next week and had blood and urine done, again same thing happened, nothing showed up but I gotta get a CT scan for whatever reason, and I still felt like garbage, I was eating but not enough and my options were limited due to my stomach, I went to a natural doctor, a Lyme disease survivor, and I got checked out and found my nerves are in a frenzy, and got a natural remedy for it, I started taking it and vitamins but the feeling of a hole between my chest and stomach was getting to me, I felt like I wasn’t getting air and I was getting skinny by the day, and cut to right now, I got a sore throat out of nowhere around three days ago, and I went cold turkey on my meds again, I am tired and I am done, but I don’t want to die, I am afraid, very afraid right now, I have no where to go or do, I can’t do anything, every morning I feel like my brain doesn’t have oxygen going to it, and I wake up with saliva coming out my mouth like a worm, cold sweats, sweaty palms, soreness all over, desperation, anger, agony, hatred, rage, hunger, trouble breathing, stomach pain, nausea, fast heart rate, increased urination, increased no.2, and a bunch of other symptoms I just don’t know,

Of course research on the internet hasn’t made me feel better, and I don’t know what I am dealing with, All I know is I am dying and it’s too late to stop it, It doesn’t matter anyways but I don’t want to die, I don’t want to, I don’t want to suffer anymore, I just someone to listen, a friend, a real friend, but I don’t know, typing all of these has worn me out, I don’t know, the unknown is what scares me the most, and death is the easy way out but I don’t want that, all of this is my fault, but I acknowledge that it is, it just feels too late to change anything, it doesn’t matter how much water I drink or how much healthy food I try to eat, it just feels too late.

Just to let you know that I read it all. Keep fighting, bro.

 

[GTracer125]

Just to let you know that I read it all. Keep fighting, bro.

Trust me I am, I am just on high fear levels right now, mostly cause my body is frail with hell knows what disease has stricken me this time and since there’s the abnormalities in my symptoms, I am not sure if it’s something physically in the body eating away at me or my mind’s just dead at this point and giving me problems in general, the unknown, so many diseases, so many things that exist in the human body, right now I don’t know, I am just wanting to survive right now, I went cold turkey twice in a row, this is the second time, and it’s been 4 days without it, I nearly get mental breakdowns and almost start crying, I am not sure if it’s my body telling me that it’s in pain because of my physical symptoms or it’s playing tricks on me mentally, it’s basically making me overthink, and I hate it.

 

[GTboyz]

Alright, it’s time I opened my mouth about this, enough is enough, I just want someone to know, someone to believe, someone to hear, and someone to remember, this is what has been happening to me right now.

I am sick, I am sick of something right now and I don’t know what it is, It started three months ago truest, all I have been is a terrible survivor, a hermit stuck in his room all day. Doing nothing but play video games, eat and sleep late, doing whatever, and now it’s taken it’s toll on me, I woke up one day sick with something, the feeling of being unable to breathe and inability to eat properly, I didn’t know why, and I was going to the bathroom a lot, I went to the ER, it was the first week of July, a Monday, I got checked out, It was little dehydration and that was that, but I noticed that I was nervous, I was starting to get really nervous, I was also going to Mexico on the last week of July and that was when it peaked the second time, the days before the trip, my eating habits were affected, I had trouble eating once again, but I didn’t have to go to the bathroom to do number 2, I felt sick and felt like I was dying pretty much, all the energy was faded, I am a pretty skinny guy mostly cause I get sick often due to me not taking care of myself properly, but I held my own even in the worst of times, especially when I was trapped in that mental ward a year before, but I knew I had limits in this frail body, and the limits was broken, In Mexico I felt worse, I couldn’t eat at all in the first day, and I was eating late due to moving from place to place and from hotel to hotel since we had to switch over for reasons I can’t remember, I was hungry but the nausea I got from not eating made it unbearable for me to put anything in my mouth, I felt like garbage, it wasn’t until the 2nd week when I went to my mother’s town that I felt worse, and note that I am on Lexapro 30 MG’s and have been taking it everyday at that time and I have metal bars in my body due to a ribcage deformation, and yeah I got sick with a stomach infection and got meds for it over there, of course irresponsiblity took over and I only took the medications for the stomach infection for 5 days only because I was leaving back home the next week, just remembering how stupid I was and should’ve just told my parents I was unhealthy and It was a bad idea for me to go but of course, me being old and not wanting to go outside unjustified my feelings, I ate poorly everyday pretty much in general and was doing a lot of no.2 daily either way, I was pretty much killing myself, the day I got home, I didn’t eat jack the whole day, and drank very little, It was my fault but at the same time, I couldn’t do enough to stop it, either way I went to the E.R again, got checked out and I was just dehydrated again, I was noticing something, my medical history with my mental problems, was always present when I got checked out and since my history with that hospital isn’t very good, I wasn’t getting proper care, so I was on my own, I started eating again like normal but I knew deep down, It wasn’t enough and I was near death once again and one cared,

Three weeks ago, I woke up sick once again, I couldn’t eat and drinking liquids was giving me problems, even bloody water, and I went to the E.R again, again my mental history didn’t make the doctors care about my pain but they did check my blood and urine and it showed up fine, somehow, and I went cold turkey on my Lexapro that day by accident mostly out of fear for my stomach, I was given Zantac for the stomach acidity that I expressed to them and that was that, I was stuck in that damn E.R from 12:00 am to 4:00am and I felt like absolute death, I was dying I knew I was, but again no one seemed to care, I went to another doctor on Tuesday the next week and had blood and urine done, again same thing happened, nothing showed up but I gotta get a CT scan for whatever reason, and I still felt like garbage, I was eating but not enough and my options were limited due to my stomach, I went to a natural doctor, a Lyme disease survivor, and I got checked out and found my nerves are in a frenzy, and got a natural remedy for it, I started taking it and vitamins but the feeling of a hole between my chest and stomach was getting to me, I felt like I wasn’t getting air and I was getting skinny by the day, and cut to right now, I got a sore throat out of nowhere around three days ago, and I went cold turkey on my meds again, I am tired and I am done, but I don’t want to die, I am afraid, very afraid right now, I have no where to go or do, I can’t do anything, every morning I feel like my brain doesn’t have oxygen going to it, and I wake up with saliva coming out my mouth like a worm, cold sweats, sweaty palms, soreness all over, desperation, anger, agony, hatred, rage, hunger, trouble breathing, stomach pain, nausea, fast heart rate, increased urination, increased no.2, and a bunch of other symptoms I just don’t know,

Of course research on the internet hasn’t made me feel better, and I don’t know what I am dealing with, All I know is I am dying and it’s too late to stop it, It doesn’t matter anyways but I don’t want to die, I don’t want to, I don’t want to suffer anymore, I just someone to listen, a friend, a real friend, but I don’t know, typing all of these has worn me out, I don’t know, the unknown is what scares me the most, and death is the easy way out but I don’t want that, all of this is my fault, but I acknowledge that it is, it just feels too late to change anything, it doesn’t matter how much water I drink or how much healthy food I try to eat, it just feels too late.

Honestly, i don't know what to say. I'm not good at giving advices or motivational words or something like that.

I just hope you keep fighting dude, all of us here are fighting our own demons but i know we're rooting for each other. If you need to talk about this anytime, i'll make sure i'm all ears.

 

[kikie]

According to recent studies, social and very emphatic people are much more prone the become depressed than less social people.

It seems that I'm incredibly emphatic and very social, since I have had 6 clinical depressions.

 

[Scaff]

Counterpoint:

I may not understand how depression affect oneself, but i woyld advice against any sort of medication as solution.

Go clear your head in nature.
Meditate, accept and move on.

A pill will never solve your problems.

Go breath fresh air.
Resort to art...
Help yourself by helping others first...

And if you are anti social, thats ok too, go hug a tree.

There is solace in enjoying the beauty that nature has to offer.

You will be refreshed.
Stay positive... Love yourself, love others, love nature.

Love.

Good luck to all being affected by this, you can get through it.

We are here for you.

Love.

To all here affected by mental illness (whether you know it or not), pardon my ignorance, but my earlier suggestions came out of good intentions.

I never said i am better than a doctor, or that i know more than a doctor or that people should not listen to their doctor.

What i was trying to say is that:
Prior to seeing the doctor, you should consider the natural ways of treating yourself if you havent already done so.

I just dont think pills only solve your intended problem, they would add more to it in the long run.

I am just saying. Of course everyone here is more than free to ignore my non-senses.

Peace to all.

Late reply, but I can't let this one go by.

And if I followed this I would be dead right now.

Medication is a part of the treatment for depression, its not the only part of it, but it is a factor and for many and important one at that.

I am now off my medication, but most certainly would not have made it through the last three years without it, combined with talking therapy and a number of other factors.

This kind of pseudoscientific woo not pisses me off to a massive degree, but is also potentially dangerous. Would you suggest someone go out and get some sunlight and hug a tree for a broken leg before going to see a doctor? I hope not, but that's what you are suggesting here.

I'm going to be blunt (if that hasn't already come across), you have no idea what you are talking about and until you do expect nonsense such as this to be shut down hard. You comments and nonsense are a part of the reason why a lot of people minimise the impact that mental heath issues (not just depression) have on people.

 

[INEEDNAWZZZ]

Agreed. For me, talking did nothing but medication practically fixed everything, and that isn't an exaggeration. I can understand the mentality behind self-help and stuff, but I don't get why people are so against medication of any kind.

 

[GTboyz]

What people are failing to realize is that mental sickness is the same as physical sickness. I know it's hard to grasp it but sometimes the only way people would understand how heavy this is if they feel it themselves, and i wouldn't wish that on someone.

 

[JohnBM01]

When it comes to depression, are depression medications a supplement to treat depression or absolutely necessary for those who benefit more from depression medicine? One thing I've learned is that eating dark chocolate helps if dealing with depression. I usually have a Dove dark chocolate a day (maximum of three) to kind of offset being sad or depressed.

 

[Michael88]

Agreed. For me, talking did nothing but medication practically fixed everything, and that isn't an exaggeration. I can understand the mentality behind self-help and stuff, but I don't get why people are so against medication of any kind.

Its expensive. It has side effects, some have very bad ones. Its always better to be able to help yourself than to be dependent on meds, or people.

 

[INEEDNAWZZZ]

Oh don't get me wrong, I understand the flaws of meds completely. It's just for me, they worked wonderfully so to deny them when other options don't work seems odd to me. That said, I don't want to be on them forever and am looking to come off them soon and see how I cope.

 

[GTracer125]

It’s been 1 1/2 weeks since I last took my Lexapro pills and I feel like complete death, I can’t eat even though I am hungry and want to, I am sensitive to everything with all my senses crippled, I feel nauseous 24/7, I gagged earlier today for no reason and now I feel like I am being squeezed together by something, I get tremors every so often, I can seeing my hair and hands shaking over and over, My stomach is still bothering me even though it’s been a month since this whole mess started, I just feel terrible, the problem is, I have no where to go to get help.

Hospital is out of the question, well at least the one I usually go to, because of how they mis-treat me whenever I go there and they relate my past medical problems to what I am dealing with now and that doesn’t help, and also I am a sensitive case for them so they rather take hours leaving me in a bed with nothing, so screw that.

I have been going to a natural doctor every 2 weeks and that works out fine but the problem is that I am suppose to feel better from 6-9 weeks which is way too long, and I feel worse and worse everyday, even with the tune-ups and herbal treatments he gave me, I don’t doubt the guy but time is a variable right now, and I might as well be dying and not even have it be detected, I don’t know... I just don’t know.

My frail body is showing more and more, I weighed myself yesterday and noticed I am below 100 and stuck at 87, I am afraid guys, very afraid and especially since anything I try to give to my body, it immediately gets rejected, and I feel sick afterwards, it’s bad, and I don’t know what to do. I get muscle spasms, tremors, nausea, extreme urge to urinate, fatigue, weakness, trouble breathing, trouble eating, trouble swallowing, trouble with everything and I don’t know how to fix it or if it’s too late to fix anything.

I honestly feel like I am on limited time everyday that passes, and I just want this all to go away, why can’t I wake up and feel better, why do I feel worse, I don’t even know where the root of this is, my brain could be damaged and I wouldn’t even know it, damn it... I am just scared guys, just really scared.

 

[JohnBM01]

Here's hoping things better, GTRacer123. I wish troubles can go away overnight, but life doesn't work that way. Just hang in there and keep good faith. I offer you my best wishes, good fortune, and love. Recovery will take a good amount of time. Regardless, recovery is possible and within reach.

 

[kikie]

It’s been 1 1/2 weeks since I last took my Lexapro pills and I feel like complete death, I can’t eat even though I am hungry and want to, I am sensitive to everything with all my senses crippled, I feel nauseous 24/7, I gagged earlier today for no reason and now I feel like I am being squeezed together by something, I get tremors every so often, I can seeing my hair and hands shaking over and over, My stomach is still bothering me even though it’s been a month since this whole mess started, I just feel terrible, the problem is, I have no where to go to get help.

Did you suddenly stop taking these meds? Or did you did you reduce/lower the dosage gradually over a period of time?

It sounds like withdrawel symptoms. If this is the case, there is nothing to be scared about. It will pass but it can take a while, from 4 weeks to a few months (gets better over time of course).

I'm not a physician or psychiatrist but I recognise some of the symptoms.