- 87,835
- Rule 12
- GTP_Famine
Apropos of nothing, first let me point out that I like to have movies and TV shows and games for entertainment and escapism. Informative stuff bores me unless I've actively sought it out and depressing stuff annoys me. I like to be amused and enthralled and, ultimately, have a good giggle with my not-particularly hard-earned.
So, moving on. Knowing.
For those unfamiliar with the plot of Knowing, Nic Cage's character encounters a list of numbers which, quite by chance, he decodes as being the date, death toll and location of every major disaster in the last 50 years. Except the last three which are dates that haven't happened yet! Ohnoes!
Now, don't get me wrong, but I don't like Nicolas Cage very much. It's not a great barrier to enjoying films he's in - I found the two National Treasures quite serviceable, Con Air was a good laugh, The Rock was acceptable and, even knowing that I don't like him, he was brilliant in Face/Off in both roles. But ultimately he's unconvincing and quite wooden.
And Knowing is the film for him. His character is frequently called on to look sad, sad, angry, sad, confused, sad and sad. And that's pretty much it.
And that's also pretty much it for the positives of the film. Nic Cage is well cast.
The three disasters that have yet to happen seem to be an excuse for extremely showy CGI of people being brutally slain by the dozen. Call me a freak if you will, but a plane crash is news, not entertainment. I don't find people being mashed to death in close-up by a train, or staggering about on fire exclaiming "help me" especially amusing.
The script is an issue also. Despite being 2 agonising hours long, not a single line is wasted - you can literally guess the ending just from lines spoken just by Nic Cage's character in the first 15 minutes. Every part of it. And I did. I sat through the next billion years of the film in disbelief that it actually was going to end like that, and it still did anyway.
A side-effect of that is that I never really care about any of the characters, which is kind of unfortunate. But then none of them are on-screen without Cage for very long and they're not very well scripted anyway.
And then there's the allegories. Oh, the allegories... Is it supernatural, or is it extraterrestrial, or... is it both?! Was the film funded by the Church of Rael?
And then ultimately we come to probably the biggest issue with the film - the ending itself. Apparently we didn't learn anything from the hugely popular "Armageddon" and the more realistic and plausible but considerably less popular "Deep Impact". A good film ends on a high - a sense of accomplishment and triumph. A handful of 10 year olds frolicking on an alien planet just after everyone on Earth has died (in a graphic, showy CGI effect) isn't a high.
So what we have here is 2 hours of filler containing people I don't like and can never generate any care for as an excuse for a CG exploration of how gory you can make billions of people die. And the CG isn't that good anyway. And that's without even getting wrapped up the minefield the film lays for itself in how the list of numbers was generated in the first place.
Awful, awful, awful, awful film.
Summary in 10 words or less: Depressing dross made by frustrated serial killers.
Rating: Loose stools.
So, moving on. Knowing.
For those unfamiliar with the plot of Knowing, Nic Cage's character encounters a list of numbers which, quite by chance, he decodes as being the date, death toll and location of every major disaster in the last 50 years. Except the last three which are dates that haven't happened yet! Ohnoes!
Now, don't get me wrong, but I don't like Nicolas Cage very much. It's not a great barrier to enjoying films he's in - I found the two National Treasures quite serviceable, Con Air was a good laugh, The Rock was acceptable and, even knowing that I don't like him, he was brilliant in Face/Off in both roles. But ultimately he's unconvincing and quite wooden.
And Knowing is the film for him. His character is frequently called on to look sad, sad, angry, sad, confused, sad and sad. And that's pretty much it.
And that's also pretty much it for the positives of the film. Nic Cage is well cast.
The three disasters that have yet to happen seem to be an excuse for extremely showy CGI of people being brutally slain by the dozen. Call me a freak if you will, but a plane crash is news, not entertainment. I don't find people being mashed to death in close-up by a train, or staggering about on fire exclaiming "help me" especially amusing.
The script is an issue also. Despite being 2 agonising hours long, not a single line is wasted - you can literally guess the ending just from lines spoken just by Nic Cage's character in the first 15 minutes. Every part of it. And I did. I sat through the next billion years of the film in disbelief that it actually was going to end like that, and it still did anyway.
A side-effect of that is that I never really care about any of the characters, which is kind of unfortunate. But then none of them are on-screen without Cage for very long and they're not very well scripted anyway.
And then there's the allegories. Oh, the allegories... Is it supernatural, or is it extraterrestrial, or... is it both?! Was the film funded by the Church of Rael?
And then ultimately we come to probably the biggest issue with the film - the ending itself. Apparently we didn't learn anything from the hugely popular "Armageddon" and the more realistic and plausible but considerably less popular "Deep Impact". A good film ends on a high - a sense of accomplishment and triumph. A handful of 10 year olds frolicking on an alien planet just after everyone on Earth has died (in a graphic, showy CGI effect) isn't a high.
So what we have here is 2 hours of filler containing people I don't like and can never generate any care for as an excuse for a CG exploration of how gory you can make billions of people die. And the CG isn't that good anyway. And that's without even getting wrapped up the minefield the film lays for itself in how the list of numbers was generated in the first place.
Awful, awful, awful, awful film.
Summary in 10 words or less: Depressing dross made by frustrated serial killers.
Rating: Loose stools.
