Funny and interesting PD info captions

[Parnelli Bone]

This thread shall be devoted to all the awesome little quips, captions, and sayings of whoever wrote the GT2 info pages for various cars. Feel free to add.

Let's start this one off with the '70 Plymouth Superbird. I like how its description starts off...

....And you thought high wings were a 1990's performance-look innovation.....

Oh really? How presumptive of you, Mr. Writer! Later on we learn during the same article;

...The Super Bird was a relatively raw-boned machine, with comfort options like air conditioning not available. Nor was the trailer-towing package...the Super Bird was mant to look like it belonged on the (race car) trailer, not to pull it.

 

[Xenn]

007, your wheels are ready. Believe James Bond and you'll attract beautiful women. Fend off evil enemies and still go faster than anything else on the road in a DB-series Aston Martin.

 

[Parnelli Bone]

If anybody can find the caption for the Nissan Sil80, that's one's a gem (get it?). I can't seem to find that car on any of my existing memory cards, though.

Here's a blip from the Plymouth "Muscle Car" page.

...The cartoon character could be found in decals on the rear flank and in the center of the grille, and the horn still went "Beep Beep". The exhausts still went "vroom, vroom", too.





I like this one from the Viper RT/10 page. It's not really "funny", it's kinda poetic, though:

[The] Viper is about driving, about the pure enjoyment of getting from point A to point B. There exists only the driver, the car, and the road. Everything else is irrelevant.

[The] Viper is designed primarily to become a part of its environment in the open air, with the air in your face, or on [a] busy street, filled with people, cars, sights, and sounds.

 

[jeffgoddin]

If anybody can find the caption for the Nissan Sil80, that's one's a gem (get it?). I can't seem to find that car on any of my existing memory cards, though.

Don't get it... But do have yellow, purple, and blue Sileighties in my garage, what part of the caption stood out for you?

And I'll definitely come back and post in this thread, I know there are way too many funny captions for me to go very long without noticing one!

 

[Parnelli Bone]

Don't get it... But do have yellow, purple, and blue Sileighties in my garage, what part of the caption stood out for you?

And I'll definitely come back and post in this thread, I know there are way too many funny captions for me to go very long without noticing one!

You'll know it when you read it. I think most of the Sil 80 description is hilarious.

 

[jeffgoddin]

Okay, so I'm just going to put the whole thing down here 'cause I want to here the next part of your GT2 story! Let me know which parts you found funniest.

"Viewed from the front it looks like the Silvia S13, but viewed from the rear we see the 180 SX. There are probably some people who don't know, but this kind of car actually exists! This is the kind of car known as the Sil' 80. Recently, these are also actually being sold by Nissan dealers.

The trick is actually pretty simple. At the time of a full model change in May 1988, the 5th generation Silvia, the S13, and the 180 SX, which made its debut in March 1989, were sister models sharing the same platform, a fact which no-one knew. The difference between the 180 SX and the Silvia was whether the body style was a notchback or a hatchback shape - the basic mechanism was shared. Moreover, the only difference at the front was the body panels, if you took those off the insides would be the same.

Thus, the front section of the 180 SX was removed and the front section of the Silvia was fitted. So, as this was a 180 with a Silvia face, it became the Sil' 80. Conversely, there was also a car where the front section of a Silvia was removed and the front section of a 180 SX was fitted. This was a Silvia with a 180 SX face, so it became the 1 'Via'.

Incidentally, cars have been sighted in which the front section of a Lancer Evolution has been fitted to Mitsubishi cars such as the Mirage or Libero in the same way."

There you have it in full. Reads like a silly 60's educational message in my opinion, totally uncool and funny in that way. No particular parts really stood out to me, though.

 

[Parnelli Bone]

Okay, so I'm just going to put the whole thing down here 'cause I want to here the next part of your GT2 story! Let me know which parts you found funniest.

"Viewed from the front it looks like the Silvia S13, but viewed from the rear we see the 180 SX. There are probably some people who don't know, but this kind of car actually exists! This is the kind of car known as the Sil' 80. Recently, these are also actually being sold by Nissan dealers.

That bold part has me lol-ing already. I don't even know why, it just cracks me up!

The trick is actually pretty simple. At the time of a full model change in May 1988, the 5th generation Silvia, the S13, and the 180 SX, which made its debut in March 1989, were sister models sharing the same platform, a fact which no-one knew. The difference between the 180 SX and the Silvia was whether the body style was a notchback or a hatchback shape - the basic mechanism was shared. Moreover, the only difference at the front was the body panels, if you took those off the insides would be the same.

Thus, the front section of the 180 SX was removed and the front section of the Silvia was fitted. So, as this was a 180 with a Silvia face, it became the Sil' 80. Conversely, there was also a car where the front section of a Silvia was removed and the front section of a 180 SX was fitted. This was a Silvia with a 180 SX face, so it became the 1 'Via'.

Incidentally, cars have been sighted in which the front section of a Lancer Evolution has been fitted to Mitsubishi cars such as the Mirage or Libero in the same way."

There you have it in full. Reads like a silly 60's educational message in my opinion, totally uncool and funny in that way. No particular parts really stood out to me, though.

Where's the "get it" part? Dude, I know I'm not imagining that. The caption kept going "get it?"

Now I'm on a mission...What version of GT2 do you have? Maybe an earlier write up didn't say "get it" over and over.

 

[Baron Blitz Red]

Ok, I fired up my PS1 and this is what I have:

Sil Eighty

From the front, it looks like the S13 Silvia. From the rear, the 180SX. Yes, such a car does exist. It is the Sil Eighty, and it has even been sold by some Japanese Nissan dealerships as of late.

The Sil Eighty's story is simple. The fifth generation S13 Silvia (released in May 1988) and the 180SX (debuted in March 1989) are sister cars that can share the same platform. The only major difference between the 180SX and the Silvia is the body, notchback versus hatchback; the mechanics are virtually identical.

There is some difference in front body panels too, but the mechanical parts are the same.

Take away the 180SX's front section and replace it with the Silvia's and you have the Sil Eighty (as in "Sil" from "Silvia" and "Eighty" from 180--get it?). Or you could take away the Silvia's front section and replace it with the 180SX's. This car actually exists, too. It's called the One Via (as in "One" from 180 and "Via" from "Silvia" -- get it?).

Similarly, Mitsubishi also created it's own hybrids by adding the Lancer Evolution's front section to the Mirage and Libero, for instance.

I'm wondering what the difference is between our versions of the same game?

Have a good one!

 

[Kingofweasles]

Ok, I fired up my PS1 and this is what I have:

Sil Eighty

From the front, it looks like the S13 Silvia. From the rear, the 180SX. Yes, such a car does exist. It is the Sil Eighty, and it has even been sold by some Japanese Nissan dealerships as of late.

The Sil Eighty's story is simple. The fifth generation S13 Silvia (released in May 1988) and the 180SX (debuted in March 1989) are sister cars that can share the same platform. The only major difference between the 180SX and the Silvia is the body, notchback versus hatchback; the mechanics are virtually identical.

There is some difference in front body panels too, but the mechanical parts are the same.

Take away the 180SX's front section and replace it with the Silvia's and you have the Sil Eighty (as in "Sil" from "Silvia" and "Eighty" from 180--get it?). Or you could take away the Silvia's front section and replace it with the 180SX's. This car actually exists, too. It's called the One Via (as in "One" from 180 and "Via" from "Silvia" -- get it?).

Similarly, Mitsubishi also created it's own hybrids by adding the Lancer Evolution's front section to the Mirage and Libero, for instance.

I'm wondering what the difference is between our versions of the same game?

Have a good one!

I think jeff either has a patched or "Greatest Hits" version of GT2, which "Fixed" a few of the various typos and odd translation choices found the Version 1.0 of GT2. I say this because what Baron Red Blitz posted here is the same description of the Nissan Sil-Eighty on my own copy of GT2.

Anyway, It'll take a day or two of searching, but I'll bet that I can turn up some head-scratchers of my own for this thread...

 

[Parnelli Bone]

Ok, I fired up my PS1 and this is what I have:

Sil Eighty

From the front, it looks like the S13 Silvia. From the rear, the 180SX. Yes, such a car does exist. It is the Sil Eighty, and it has even been sold by some Japanese Nissan dealerships as of late.

The Sil Eighty's story is simple. The fifth generation S13 Silvia (released in May 1988) and the 180SX (debuted in March 1989) are sister cars that can share the same platform. The only major difference between the 180SX and the Silvia is the body, notchback versus hatchback; the mechanics are virtually identical.

There is some difference in front body panels too, but the mechanical parts are the same.

Take away the 180SX's front section and replace it with the Silvia's and you have the Sil Eighty (as in "Sil" from "Silvia" and "Eighty" from 180--get it?). Or you could take away the Silvia's front section and replace it with the 180SX's. This car actually exists, too. It's called the One Via (as in "One" from 180 and "Via" from "Silvia" -- get it?).

Similarly, Mitsubishi also created it's own hybrids by adding the Lancer Evolution's front section to the Mirage and Libero, for instance.

I'm wondering what the difference is between our versions of the same game?

Have a good one!

Awesome man! You get plenty of popcorn. Actually, everybody does. Get it?

 

[Baron Blitz Red]

Mmmmmm, popcorn... Ahhahhhahhhahhhh(Homer drool)!!!

Have a good one!

 

[Parnelli Bone]

I'm wondering what the difference is between our versions of the same game?

It's been awhile but I seem to remember the Sil80 was a tad more oversteery than a regular Silvia, because it has a more spacious trunk area. Could be wrong, though.

 

[Baron Blitz Red]

Ya, it's been awhile for myself as well... I remember using it on at least 2 of the six cards I have for the GT series, but I must admit I have more experience using the 270R. Memories...

Have a good one!

 

[Tornado]

There you have it in full. Reads like a silly 60's educational message in my opinion, totally uncool and funny in that way. No particular parts really stood out to me, though.

I much prefer the fun and upbeat way they were written in GT2 to the dry and painfully overdone stuff in GT5.

 

[sins1er]

I actually built a sileighty a couple years back... Fun fun fun. Smashed it up on the freeway @ 120mph... Oops.

 

[Baron Blitz Red]

Another one that I liked was: "And that fearsome face wasn't just to scare off competitors..." & "It's likely to be a long time before such an ambitious - and utterly insane - production car will ever be drempt of again."

So, do you remember which car that was??? Cue the "Jeopardy" theme...

Have a good one!

 

[sins1er]

The stupid speed 12 thing??

 

[Baron Blitz Red]

The Speed 12 is correct!

Johnny: All of our lucky contestants will receive a year's supply of Rice-a-Roni, that San Francisco treat!

Have a good one!

 

[Parnelli Bone]

I much prefer the fun and upbeat way they were written in GT2 to the dry and painfully overdone stuff in GT5.

Here we go...

I saw your name, was hoping you were gonna dig up a caption, but you're criticizing GT5 instead? Come on man, turn that frown upside-down. Fire up GT2 and add to this thread! I know you want to!

Speaking of...this one goes with the Jaguar XJR XJR "Vehicle" caption...

...Blistering performance comes with the slightest prod of the driver's right foot. --60 mph? 5.5 seconds thank you very much.

 

[Baron Blitz Red]

Here's another...

A Lupo would be lost at a dragstrip, the 1.0E accelerating 0-62 mph in a (set the alarm clock for when we get there) time of 17.9 seconds with a 93 mph top speed.

 

[jacnob]

Here's another...

A Lupo would be lost at a dragstrip, the 1.0E accelerating 0-62 mph in a (set the alarm clock for when we get there) time of 17.9 seconds with a 93 mph top speed.

And I thought a Smart Car was the slowest thing on wheels, if my back issue memory is correct, even thats faster.

 

[Pupik]

I liked the description for the Daihatsu Midget II:
"...it's single-seater design and mid-engined layout would put most true sports-cars to shame..."

Or the Renault Espace F1:
"...watching it on a racetrack was like watching a movie in fast-forward..."

[Note: I don't remember the exact wording of these statements, verify with your home version of the game and play along!]

Yeah, the descriptions made you want to buy the car, no matter what. It would open up the opportunity to try out cars you might skip over, and assist a little bit with questions about what to race in what series.

I always thought that the descriptions were missing depth in GT3 (they...were...usu ally...d ull, and...t ook...too, long...to...re ad), with the lack of model years in that game. And how did they forget it in GT4? Nice to hear they've made a comeback in GT5; since some models are completely obscure or long-forgotten to me, and I'd guess nobody knows every car in the universe unless they researched it in advance.

Interestingly, most of the cars in the original GT kept their descriptions word-for-word after they were included in GT2, although few racing cars and concepts had detailed descirptions.

 

[Biobunny]

PD should add to the Red Bull X2010 info thing as a buttoning sentence "Now Red Bull really does give you wings!".

 

[Parnelli Bone]

Here's another...

A Lupo would be lost at a dragstrip, the 1.0E accelerating 0-62 mph in a (set the alarm clock for when we get there) time of 17.9 seconds with a 93 mph top speed.

And I thought a Smart Car was the slowest thing on wheels, if my back issue memory is correct, even thats faster.

I've seen several Smart Cars in my town. They seem to keep up with city traffic pretty well, actually. I'd hate to be on a highway driving one, though.

I liked the description for the Daihatsu Midget II:
"...it's single-seater design and mid-engined layout would put most true sports-cars to shame..."

Is it realy mid-engined? I thought the Midget is FR.

Or the Renault Espace F1:
"...watching it on a racetrack was like watching a movie in fast-forward..."

Yeah, the descriptions made you want to buy the car, no matter what. It would open up the opportunity to try out cars you might skip over, and assist a little bit with questions about what to race in what series.

I always thought that the descriptions were missing depth in GT3 (they...were...usu ally...d ull, and...t ook...too, long...to...re ad),

Yea, that rolling text took ages to read!

with the lack of model years in that game. And how did they forget it in GT4? Nice to hear they've made a comeback in GT5; since some models are completely obscure or long-forgotten to me, and I'd guess nobody knows every car in the universe unless they researched it in advance.

I'm glad they're back (and detailed) in GT5, too. An entire generation of future drivers is coming up with GT5. These little write-ups are important imo because they teach kids stuff about cars, and from what I've seen in the GT5 forum, there's a lot of kids who know nothing (and care nothing) about the history of various cars. These little captions can help change this.

 

[Baron Blitz Red]

I'm glad they're back as well. I really like knowing information about the cars, be it factual or trivial. I honestly thought it was a lost art for a while, where at one point, it was almost standard in multiple series of racing \ driving games. Interest always leads to learning, and that will never be a bad thing...

Happy Canada Day!

Have a good one!!!

 

[Parnelli Bone]

I like this one. It's not really funny, but it's interesting how it was written. This one is from the Renault Clio 16v's page...

...Renault offers a wide range of engines to drive the Clio's front wheels, but Clio II's sportiest motor is a 1.6-liter 16-valve unit with 110 hp.*

Only available in three-door form with racy alloy wheels and [a] deeper chin spoiler, warm, rather than scorching performance is available. The 16v accelerates from 0-60 mph in less than ten seconds, and nudges 120 mph flat out. It may not provide heart-stopping straight-line speed, but the Clio 16v is a tidy handler.

However, Renault never intended the Clio 16v to be its meanest model - that job is left to the ferocious limited edition race-ready Clio Sport V6 24v, with its mid-mounted 250 bhp engine, which you can also get to grips with in GT2. With a 160 mph top speed it's not just the fastest Clio but the hottest hatchback ever made.


*Odd how the info says 110 hp but the car is quoted at 170 hp from the dealer!

 

[loulou221]

*Odd how the info says 110 hp but the car is quoted at 170 hp from the dealer!

The 170 hp rating comes from the RS version powered by a 2.0-liter, 16-valve. It appeared in 1998. The thing is, the 1.6 16V was the last engine released in the Clio Range (1999). And on Wikipedia, it is reffered to as a "sportive 16V version" . Interesting facts...

 

[karelpipa]

Is it realy mid-engined? I thought the Midget is FR.

im quite sure it is a MR, it has as i remember 2 or 3 cylinder flat engine around 600ccm somewhere under or behind the drivers butt. Yes its a truck

i was riding in a Subaru Libero as a passenger, same engine layout, 4x4, same speed