I might be about to lose my CD's... Should it be happening?

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AdamNeverKnows
Okay so my mother is obsessed with restraining and restricting me in every last way possible... Her latest attack is on music. She says everything I listen to is about rape, violence, drugs, murder and all the rest. My collection mainly consists of Feeder, Red Hot Chili Peppers, My Chemical Romance (Mostly the album Danger Days), Green Day, 30 Seconds To Mars, Biffy Clyro, Kings of Leon, AC/DC, Foo Fighters, Snow Patrol, Imagine Dragons, Muse... You get the idea.

I concede that there is bad language in some songs by these bands, and sometimes some of those subject matters come up, Green Day in particular. But consider this... Down the hallway my step brother plays 50 Cent, Eminem, Dre, Diddy, Tupac, Lil Wayne and all the rap alongside drum and bass at full volume... It's always on so loud. I don't even play my music aloud, always in the headphones with the volume low. I'm not saying the stereotypical rap stuff but his collection has a shedload of swearing, much more than my own.

Yet, his collection is not at threat and mine is? And she likes Feeder and pretty much everything I like? She claims the music I listen to is going to send me down the wrong path and I just don't see it... She is one to talk, dropped out of school at 14 and one year later I was born... And that's only the beginning of what I could tell you.

The point is Feeder can probably claim a half of all the music I own, and it's helped me through really rough patches in life... Is there really a reason a fifteen year old can't listen to Feeder? In my eyes most stuff on mainstream radio has a worse message and more explicit lyrical content? And this hasn't been an issue the last few years and my taste hasn't altered... She's only just started on it.

She seems to think if I hear the word gun I'll go about shooting people and stuff, seems odd.

How do you weigh in on it?
 
Your mom might just be looking out for you. To be honest, some parents think restrictions (here on music) can avoid getting their children into trouble. My parents have never really cared about what I listen to. Nowadays I'm listening to jazz and classical, most of the time - I also like some songs from other genres. I've been down the dance- (~2005-~2009), and the heavy metal path (~2009-~ January 2010). I recall listening to "Disturbed" (I believe they're called), but, today, I can't really understand why I was listening to metal.

What I'm saying is, she probably just want you to avoid getting into trouble... I believe.
 
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I grew up listening to everything for the most part that I listen to now so I don't see it as that big of a deal.
 
Your mom might just be looking out for you. To be honest, some parents think restrictions (here on music) can avoid getting their children into trouble. My parents have never really cared about what I listen to. Nowadays I'm listening to jazz and classical, most of the time - I also like some songs from other genres. I've been down the dance- (~2005-~2009), and the heavy metal path (~2009-~ January 2011). I recall listening to "Disturbed" (I believe they're called), but, today, I can't really understand why I was listening to metal.

What I'm saying is, she probably just want you to avoid getting into trouble... I believe.

Cool... I just don't like how I've put so many hundreds of pounds of money I earnt at summer jobs into my collection and it looks like it's getting taken away... And there is no trigger either... If I'd be bunking school or something I'd understand but I haven't.
 
Parents don't understand their children, and children don't understand their parents. I did my best to stay under the radar. With that said, it's mom's house, and mom's rules. You can fight it kicking and screaming until you move out, or you can try to see her point and reason with her, you know....have an adult conversation with her about it.
 
It sounds like she's really over-reacting; Feeder are one of the least offensive bands I can possibly think of! Has she given you a proper reason for wanting to restrict your music? Personally my parents always used to let me listen to whatever I like as long as I didn't play it too loud and it never did me any harm. If she takes them away though I'll just come round and play them full blast in my car outside your house. ;)
 
Just wow!!! This is messed up. I listen to pretty much the same music as you do and it has not effected me any way, shape or form. Have you tried reasoning with your mom by chance? If I were you, tell her that everyone has there own taste of music. Everyone doesn't listen to the same type of music. Also have a talk with her and your step brother about the situation at hand. Lastly tell her, that not all music that she doesn't like sings about death or murder. I hope I helped and hope it goes well for you and you don't lose your cd collection.
 
Rip it all uncompressed straight-away!

Ultimately, as Pako says, her roof, her rules.

Although, depending on what you are like in person, if you're there quietly listening to negative lyrics on your headphones, not saying much, not smiling, and generally being a bit Emo about stuff - dying your hair wierd colours, wearing eye make-up, wanting piercings, not being able to wear clothes the right size or trousers that fit properly, maybe not being able to maintain posture - or any of that other stuff teenagers seem to do, then they more likely to think you're being negatively affected by it... where as if you were to rock-out on the kitchen table to Thunderstruck at full volume, they might realise it's a passion, not a brain rot.

Some parents are like that, my dad never used to like us (my sister and I) listening to the Pet Shop Boys... go figure.? These days, most of what I listen to is stuff my dad was listening to 20-30-40 years ago!
 
It sounds like she's really over-reacting; Feeder are one of the least offensive bands I can possibly think of! Has she given you a proper reason for wanting to restrict your music? Personally my parents always used to let me listen to whatever I like as long as I didn't play it too loud and it never did me any harm. If she takes them away though I'll just come round and play them full blast in my car outside your house. ;)

Exactly! I mean High is clearly written about.... getting high... But that doesn't mean I am going to and do drugs and stuff because I heard Feeder say it? And I like your car idea very much! :)

And edawg456 I have reasoned with her in every way possible... This includes pointing out the vast quantity of parallels in our CD racks, the point that I could be listening to far worse, that the bands in question aren't really bad, that loads of people listen to these bands with no ill effect... My grandmother has been saying the same but Mum won't listen.

MatskiMonk; Believe me I am far from Emo... A good bit of Feeder gives me a beaming smile... The reaction gave when they came on the radio a couple of weeks ago would prove it to anyone. Also, it's inspired me to take up learning several instruments and I write my own song lyrics. They have no curses in them and I guess it's modelled around Feeder and Imagine Dragons... If anything music has put the creative spark in me, something I never had in my early years (Which she moaned about). I used to play it aloud but there is also a two year old and a six month old in the house so I no longer do that... I still sing along a little but that's it.

If anything that annoys more... How become my step brother can blast out Eminem's "Cleaning Out My Closet" at about 11PM yet I can't keep Feeder's "Tell All Your Friends" in my headphones?
 
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Parents don't understand their children, and children don't understand their parents. I did my best to stay under the radar. With that said, it's mom's house, and mom's rules. You can fight it kicking and screaming until you move out, or you can try to see her point and reason with her, you know....have an adult conversation with her about it.

👍

You should be talking to you mother about this, not us. She won't care what we think (I hope). Maybe, show her some of the lyrics?

Look at the good side, you have a mother that cares and is trying to "parent" 👍
 
Exactly! I mean High is clearly written about.... getting high... But that doesn't mean I am going to and do drugs and stuff because I heard Feeder say it? And I like your car idea very much! :)

I saw Feeder at V a few years back, and they were awesome. But afterwards I went out and stole a car with a CD player player player player player player.
 
Something else might be bothering her. How are your grades?

I usually get B and C's on my less strong subjects and A's or A- on my stronger subjects... I haven't failed any of my exams, even my dreaded R.E!

EDIT: Aha Moglet just made my day a little better!
 
have an adult conversation with her about it.

Yes discuss. There is no guarantee that this will work, some people think one way and close everything else off, but it's worth a try.

Possibly try asking her why and how lyrics will cause you to do something or turn out some way, and go from there.
 
Yes discuss. There is no guarantee that this will work, some people think one way and close everything else off, but it's worth a try.

Possibly try asking her why and how lyrics will cause you to do something or turn out some way, and go from there.

I have tried talking to her and asking her why a lot over the last couple of days but to no avail... I think I will have to accept it but it just seems so unnecessary in my eyes. :(
 
Your teenage years are when you learn that your parents are human beings capable of making poor decisions. On some issues you'll be wrong, and they'll be right, and sometimes they'll be wrong and you'll be right.

Irrational parents can be tough. I know, I had one. It doesn't even necessarily have anything to do with you, your mom could be set off by an article in the news about teenagers and music. Who knows? You can ask her, but she may not even fully realize what set her off.

In the end, the only way you can convince your parents to give you more autonomy is to demonstrate that you're a responsible person. That means pulling your grades up (Cs are not really ok), doing what you're told, being respectful, and keeping your nose clean. Chances are you know how your mom would like you to act. Show her that that's who you are and you'll get some freedom. It'll take time though, don't expect her to turn on a dime. Trust is something you'll have to earn over a long time period.

You can be up front about it though - tell her you're sorry that she doesn't trust you with your music right now and that you want to earn that trust.
 
Your teenage years are when you learn that your parents are human beings capable of making poor decisions. On some issues you'll be wrong, and they'll be right, and sometimes they'll be wrong and you'll be right.

Irrational parents can be tough. I know, I had one. It doesn't even necessarily have anything to do with you, your mom could be set off by an article in the news about teenagers and music. Who knows? You can ask her, but she may not even fully realize what set her off.

In the end, the only way you can convince your parents to give you more autonomy is to demonstrate that you're a responsible person. That means pulling your grades up (Cs are not really ok), doing what you're told, being respectful, and keeping your nose clean. Chances are you know how your mom would like you to act. Show her that that's who you are and you'll get some freedom. It'll take time though, don't expect her to turn on a dime. Trust is something you'll have to earn over a long time period.

You can be up front about it though - tell her you're sorry that she doesn't trust you with your music right now and that you want to earn that trust.

Yeah I understand C isn't great, that's just one subject (RE) and the rest I am B or A... I just don't get the sudden change, she does act on what she sees in the paper a lot so you could be on the money. I dedicate the majority of my spare time to helping with the little ones and generally help where I can... It's just tough when there is always something I am doing wrong... And even if by some miracle she is happy with everything my stepdad will start. There is a lot of contradiction to say the least.
 
If someone tried taking music from me, I'd do something that saying what it is would cause an AUP violation.I think you all know what I'm talking about anyway. I can't live without music.

The suggestions given are good ones, but I'd do like what was said and rip them all onto your computer ASAP. Get an MP3 player and transfer them over or something so you still have them. I agree also about staying under the radar. Be sneaky if you have to but don't get caught.
 
If someone tried taking music from me, I'd do something that saying what it is would cause an AUP violation.I think you all know what I'm talking about anyway. I can't live without music.

The suggestions given are good ones, but I'd do like what was said and rip them all onto your computer ASAP. Get an MP3 player and transfer them over or something so you still have them. I agree also about staying under the radar. Be sneaky if you have to but don't get caught.

I am terrible at flying under the radar and being sneaky... It's easy for people to see if I am lying. She is an admin on my laptop so she can delete the music anyway.

EDIT: I mentioned my lyric writing...

"You are all that's on my mind,
I want to leave it all behind,
I'd turn my back on all of this,
Just to feel your tender kiss,
And sometime soon I'll find a way,
To visit you and come and say,
You're worth it,
So worth it... You are the one..."

Not exactly murderous is it? (Written for a girlfriend, hence the sloppy heartfelt stuff :) )
 
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No Dean I don't have a phone since that got destroyed by an angry step brother a little while back.
 
Just give the CD's to the skipper of the Lymington ferry and he'll pass them onto me to look after.

I'll give them back, honest.

Think on the bright side; In 3 years you'll be 18!!
 
Just give the CD's to the skipper of the Lymington ferry and he'll pass them onto me to look after.

I'll give them back, honest.

Think on the bright side; In 3 years you'll be 18!!

This is true... Moving out on first opportunity!
 
Hide them. Make a folder on the computer somewhere she wont think to look, and then make lots of folders in there, inside themselves.
 
Taking away your music... isn't that taking away your right to freedom of expression? I don't like a whole lot of rock songs myself, but would I ban it because I don't like it? Hell no! Almost all of my friends like rock in some way or another.
 
Hide them. Make a folder on the computer somewhere she wont think to look, and then make lots of folders in there, inside themselves.

:lol:!

You could delete the history, for YouTube, or browse in private mode, too.
 
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