Is Crying Acceptable?

[Liquid]

Well, I find it refreshing to find that there are tolerant people here on GTP, open to the idea of someone crying. I do find it to be a release, often much needed. As I've said, I hold back my negative emotions, only on the rarest of occasions letting some of it trickle out. And it has had an effect on me; low self-esteem and confidence, and the capacity and indeed, the need, to cry every so often. Used to be something like once a month, but at the moment I've been really trying to not do so and I'm not quite sure why.

Any time I have broken down in front of my friends, I've always found it hugely, hugely, hugely embarrassing. Even though my friends were supportive and attentive to it.

 

[Katiegan]

Of course it's acceptable. Too many men are afraid of coming across as 'gay' to others if they cry publically. So what? Those around you who know you, know you aren't gay, and what does it matter if other strangers you've never met before think that? They'll probably never come across you again, so why should their mental thought count? Crying, for whatever reason, is always a good thing to do and should not be held in. I'm guilty of this and even though I tell people crying is a good thing, I often find myself holding in my inner emotions. Don't do that, because then you end up breaking down in the most awkward situations, such as army camp like I did.

 

[Leonidae@MFT]

it's okay to cry, except when it's a female who uses it as a method of guilt tripping.

 

[Dan]

it's okay to cry, except when it's a female who uses it as a method of guilt tripping.

Or anyone for that matter. And I hate people that cry so they get attention when they are complete d-bags to everyone around them.

 

[XS]

I rarely cry when appropriate, like at funerals or when pets die, I dunno why, never have. But I occasionally sob, not all-out cry, but sob when someone I know is deeply hurt or inflicted with a debilitating illness. I sobbed this year when my mom found out she needs two more hip surgeries because the surgeon messed up the first time, but the insurance company refuses to pay for anymore surgeries. The last time I all out cried was several years ago after working, literally, 43 hours in a row only to get thoroughly chewed out by a corporate VP for not working harder. But that's not what triggered it, a few minutes after the VP called my doctor called to tell me my biopsy came back with not-so-good results and I just broke down. One of those days from hell, you know? Small side note, I didn't have cancer, so it worked out.

 

[Slash]

Of course it's acceptable. Too many men are afraid of coming across as 'gay' to others if they cry publically. So what? Those around you who know you, know you aren't gay, and what does it matter if other strangers you've never met before think that? They'll probably never come across you again, so why should their mental thought count? Crying, for whatever reason, is always a good thing to do and should not be held in. I'm guilty of this and even though I tell people crying is a good thing, I often find myself holding in my inner emotions. Don't do that, because then you end up breaking down in the most awkward situations, such as army camp like I did.

For me it's not about being "gay" as you put it, it's the fear of looking like a baby. Not the tough guy in the pack.

 

[Liquid]

For me it's not about being "gay" as you put it, it's the fear of looking like a baby. Not the tough guy in the pack.

And why do you think crying isn't a sign of toughness, and is a sign of weakness instead?

 

[Ridox2JZGTE]

What sort of cry are we talking about here ? Tears of joy, tears of laugh, tears of sadness, tears of rage, tears of fear, tears of remorse ... they are all basically crying that produces tears and they are all a sign of mental state - not necessarily weak. I think tears of joy and laughter are the only good cry and it's acceptable.

I hope battle cry is not included here

 

[TB]

What sort of cry are we talking about here ?

I think it's pretty clear that the "typical" reason for crying is sadness.

 

[Slash]

And why do you think crying isn't a sign of toughness, and is a sign of weakness instead?

Personally, I don't think this at all. What I was saying is how people I know view it.

In fact when I cry I tell people I am crying. Having someone comfort me helps me get over whatever it was I was crying over easier.


That said, I don't cry to often as I've said before. I can get an emotional feeling but that is usually it. Most of the time I cry is from either physical pain or physical pain from violence. Deaths give me butterflies but usually I don't cry. I can't really explain why I don't, other than the fact I just don't

In fact the last time I teared up and it was just barely was about a week ago over something I'd rather not talk about right now. Before that it'd been a long time.

 

[Ridox2JZGTE]

I think it's pretty clear that the "typical" reason for crying is sadness.

I seldom cry due to sadness - I got used to hold it down as I feel like an inferior man if I cry because I am sad, usually I go to a quiet place instead and scream as loud as I can or if I happen to be near my PS3 - I turn it into a rage when playing shooting games - yeah I empty a clip or two into a dead enemy body while comforting myself with some swear words ....

 

[Antonisbob]

For me it's not about being "gay" as you put it, it's the fear of looking like a baby. Not the tough guy in the pack.

This.

 

[Michael88]

Socially acceptable? Honestly I don't care if people cry or not.
The last time I cried I was still a kid, crying never made me feel better, crying is like giving in and admitting that a situation is really awful and that makes me feel even worse.
I've found out that denial, lying to myself and blocking out reality works FAR better than releasing bodily fluids through my tear sacs.

 

[TB]

Glad you added those last four words, Michael!

 

[Slash]

@ TB

Haha. That made my night

 

[W3H5]

For the first time in my life I was sabotaged by an onion a few weeks back. I really shed a lot of tears. It actually stung my eyes so much I had to get out of the kitchen.

 

[GT5Redsucker23]

It is as long as it's going to make you feel better I see nothing wrong about crying.

 

[R5]

I feel it is. It's a better release than drinking, self-harming or abusing others.

When I feel like Jeremy Clarkson's make-up girl, I just cry for a bit. Then listen to some music and I'm okay again.

 

[JohneyPixel]

only if you cry for your country

 

[250 GTO]

Or if you stub a toe! That hurts like mother******!

 

[R5]

Or if you stub a toe! That hurts like mother******!

Or a Lego brick!

 

[photonrider]

Is crying acceptable?

No! Not if you're a baby and it's 2.00 A.M.

Not acceptable.

 

[Pupik]

...the worst part being that you won't get back to sleep until 5:30. Too bad the alarm clock wakes you up at 6.

Then, you want to cry.

 

[Ibonibo]

Hell yes. If someone says otherwise, punch them till they cry

Even the older generations where it was not socially accepeted by men to cry, they cried when alone...

 

[rambo793]

Cry all you have to and want to man. Bottling things up, as said, can cause you more harm. And why should it? Because of what those around you will think of you? Not worth it. Keep letting your emotions out. It's good. You need it.

It doesn't make you less of a man. Some of us are just born sensitive inside, even though the world teaches us not to show it. Can't change that. Embrace it. Besides, don't they say? Pain makes you mature mate.

 

[Liquid]

It was the other day that I remembered a defining event in my childhood regarding crying.

It was in year four of primary school (roughly comparable to the third grade of elementary school), and for some particular reason, I think it was because I had forgotten my homework, I burst into tears when Mr. Griffiths asked me about it.

Now, at this point I should point out that as a child I had incredibly thin skin and was far easier to upset than I am now, which is still quite significant. It wasn't until I was about 18 or 19 that I came out of my shell as a person.

Anyway, Mr. Griffiths asked me where my homework was, and I started crying because I'd realised I'd forgotten it. He took me outside and very sternly said to me in his Rochdale accent, "The tears don't work with me, lad. Sort it out."

That's one incident that struck me particularly. Even though I was and still am easy to make cry, this incident had a negative effect in me keeping it to myself and doing my darnest to not let it out. And is one reason why I have a bad relationship with my own emotions.

 

[rambo793]

Totally understandable my friend. There are many of us out there with the same complexities and many worse off.

Let me share my own little story. I was in 9th grade, overly sensitive kid. I was the fat nerd. Sucked at all physical activities, at nearly anything and everything infact beside academics. Couldn't handle fights, wouldn't raise my voice against wrong, would bottle up everything. And up until then I was often taken advantage of, people would call up home, curse, laugh, swear. All kinds of ****. Then came a point when I fell for this particular girl, i was in love. Asked her out, but she told me she was dating. She apparently went and told her guy about this. So one day, he sends his friends, they were my seniors, made them get me out of class out into a secluded spot. And he pushed me around, warning me off, telling me to get my own girl, this that. And my friends who told me they would fight him off if anything happened, were standing by the side, laughing. And what hurt me most was, I never raised a finger, never said a word. Never told my parents, never told anyone. I was ashamed of myself. And that feeling never died down, just brought under control.
Scarred me for life that, changed me as a person, made me angrier, more loud, more daring. But not much as I am now. Then as time went by, so happens that this same girl, breaks up, comes, asks me out. I fall for her again, we date for two years. And then she leaves. I couldn't bare it. I was heartbroken. And yea, I shared a lot of tears at the time. Trust me when I say, alot. And a couple of time in front of my friends, girls, who never mocked me. I was blessed that way. After that, I kind of broke loose, hot tempered, raise my voice against and stand up for what's right, and I started enjoying life more after that.

But all that has only made me more complex. Very much infact. I often find myself being let down by people. Then I learn, it's better to not expect.
Oh I've deviated : lol: Just saying bud, Even I have many incidents in my life that has had negative effects on me and made me a complex being. Yet again, I find that it has changed me as a person, in a positive way, made me more mature.

YOur emotions are everything.

 

[Mikeybc]

We don't have tear ducts and emotions for nothing, of course it's ok to cry when circumstances call for it. If you cry when you drop a hotdog that's another story...go see a shrink.

 

[Keef]

There's some aspect of stress relief to it. I had a few episodes in the past few months that were needed. There's no reason to justify it, that's just your sense of masculinity telling you that you shouldn't cry because it's not manly or whatever. It's a natural and societal thing that we learn. But if you don't let life's stresses break you down every now and then you'll just get overwhelmed and be stressed out and unhappy all the time. I still try not to let anybody see me because there's just something telling me that I can't let that happen, but if I ever feel the urge in private then I try to concentrate on it and let it out. It helps in the long run.

 

[nick09]

Or if you stub a toe! That hurts like mother******!

I once had my big toe get caught under a metal door when a girl opened it while my foot was in front of it. I nearly cried from the pain. I had to take my shoe off to make sure my toe was not bleeding because it really felt it was. Ends up it turned into a bad bruise. Then some people(Including the girl) went to tell me to man up when they have absolutely no idea of the pain I had to go through.