Jokes!!
- Thread starter DQuaN
- 4,695 comments
- 720,435 views
- 3,282
- Adelaide
- bjl2323
I manage a crash repair shop for trucks, its crazy the amount of damage that Roll overs cause.
Some of the drivers survive and I think how the hell did they survive that, others of course aren't so lucky. We have even come across human remains when we pull them apart
Some of the drivers survive and I think how the hell did they survive that, others of course aren't so lucky. We have even come across human remains when we pull them apart
Pete05
Premium
- 7,080
- Melbourne, Australia
China has one of the worst Road Tolls per head of population on the planet. India is the other.
IMO, the largest contributing factor is the skill level for the task involved.
My brother works for Kenworth & he agrees with me - truck bodies are made from tinfoil so they can carry more freight & not exceed the weight restrictions.
A guy suspects that his dog is dead and goes to a vet.
Put your dog on the table said the vet, opening a little box.
A cat emerges, jumps on the dog, walks on the dog and jumps back on the ground.
Yes, your dog is dead said the vet.
That is terrible, the guy said.
He asked the vet how much he has to pay.
$825, said the vet
Wait, what, that much?
Yes said the vet, $25 for the consult and $800 for the CAT-scan.
Put your dog on the table said the vet, opening a little box.
A cat emerges, jumps on the dog, walks on the dog and jumps back on the ground.
Yes, your dog is dead said the vet.
That is terrible, the guy said.
He asked the vet how much he has to pay.
$825, said the vet
Wait, what, that much?
Yes said the vet, $25 for the consult and $800 for the CAT-scan.
DesertPenguin
(Banned)
- 10,691
- Long Island, New York
- DesertPenguin_
Two guys and a mother walk into a bar. First guy asks for a shot and gets Jack Daniels. Second guy asks for a shot and gets Jose Cuervo. The mother says "No thanks, I don't do shots", then falls over and dies from Polio.
- 29,647
- Bratvegas
- GTP_Liquid
Noddy Holder is doing a reunion tour with Slade and needs to get some of his old clothing back. He talks it through with his manager and dressers:
"What about some flares?"
"Flared trousers, dead nice them."
"Braces?"
"Braces would be fine."
"A kipper tie?"
"Yeah, milk, no sugar!"
"What about some flares?"
"Flared trousers, dead nice them."
"Braces?"
"Braces would be fine."
"A kipper tie?"
"Yeah, milk, no sugar!"
- 3,282
- Adelaide
- bjl2323
Wife: asks the husband for $5,000
Husband: why do you want $5,000?
Wife: I want to get Breast implants
Husband: you don't need implants, just rub toilet paper inbetween them
Wife: whats that going to do?
Husband: make them bigger, well it worked on your ass
Husband: why do you want $5,000?
Wife: I want to get Breast implants
Husband: you don't need implants, just rub toilet paper inbetween them
Wife: whats that going to do?
Husband: make them bigger, well it worked on your ass
Last edited:
- 96
- Southern Ontario
- LittleSpikeGTS
What do you get when you cross an owl with a bungee cord?
My ass.
NYYYAAAaaahhhh HAH HAAAAaahhh
HAH HAAAaaahhhh- ENOUGH
NYYYAAAaaahhhh HAH HAAAAaahhh
HAH HAAAaaahhhh- ENOUGH
- 29,154
- Glasgow
- GTP_Mars
What do you call a judge with no thumbs?
Justice Fingers
- 9,675
- Portland, OR
- Jump_Ace
- JUMPxACE
- 1,591
- United Kingdom
- VulcanSpirit
Why do ghosts hate Christmas?
'Cos they always have bad presence!
- 9,675
- Portland, OR
- Jump_Ace
- JUMPxACE
- 36,632
- Scotland
- GTP_daan
You've typed it wrong. It's not spoiler="nutmeg", it's spoiler bracket nutmeg close spoiler like @polysmut wrote.You know, I typed that and saw it when I edited it. But when I when to post the reply again, it disappeared on me. It's still there when I edit that post....???
Did I just win the worst joke of the year?
Jerome
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