Life advice

[ledhed]

Home Remedies And Life Advices
1. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.

4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.

5. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic! Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto! The blockage will be almost instantly removed.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, after which you'll be afraid to cough.

7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget all about that toothache.

8. Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are: You only need two tools - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.

9. Remember: everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

10. Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.

 

[dougiemeats]

10. Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.

That one isn't funny. From experience, I recommend everyone follow that advice.

 

[OZZYGT]

4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.

I'm about to tell my physics teacher that

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, after which you'll be afraid to cough.

you dirty bastard



Ciao!

 

[Kylehnat]

10. Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.

This has always infurated me. Some people I know seem to use the bathroom just because it's there, even if they'll be home in 20 minutes. Then there's the people who can't seem to stop going. On a recent cross-country flight, I observed several people who used the bathroom 4 or 5 times on the 4.5 hour flight. If that's how often they go normally, it's a wonder that they can ever get anything done at work or at home. Now, I'm something of an abberation, so I can't really judge (on days of travel, or if I'm not in easy range of a toilet, I can survive 8-10 hours with no problem), but it just seems that a lot of people have no discipline (or serious bladder infections), and can't stay away from a toilet for too long. On top of that, public restrooms are often a bit scary.

8. Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are: You only need two tools - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.

That should be inscribed on a gold plate and hung in every garage .