**Moral Debate** Should one sleep with a married women/man?

[Sprite]

Seeing as this is quite a common thing amongst people of age and wisdom, should we consider the affair a good or bad thing. This is something I would like to discuss and know as I may be about to embark upon one my self.

The story sos far...

Im 25 years of age and not too shabby looking (if I do say so myself) and I've been in many a relationship which for one reason or another didn't work out (not due to cheating I may add), but Im now single and free. In my workplace I enjoy my day watching the ladies of all ages strut up and down the building in various dress (no uniform at work ).

Now over the last year I've come to discover that while all seems quite monogamous at work, behind closed doors it's another matter altogether, the place is like a cheaters paradise, and most if not all are at it with people from work and outside work.

I have various friends at work, but I spend most of my time with three ladies, one who is 21 slim very attractive and is engaged to be married, one is 28 chubby/fat unattractive and has a mouth like a cesspit but is very funny and a really nice person... ohh and she is married, the last lady is in her 40's attractive and married with three kids one of whom is the same age as me.

The young girl decided to leave and we held a party, you know go out on the town and get a bit drunk, so a few of us from work set off with getting rat-ar*ed in mind after a few pints and three pubs/clubs later the time was growing old and people were drifting home, half way through a conversation I found my self playing tonsil hockey with the lady in her 40's this went on for 20 or so minutes and I really enjoyed my self . As everyone left we were the only two left and I decided to walk her to the taxi rank so she could get home, on our journeywe turned the conversation to what we had been doing and it transpires that having spent the best part of the year getting to know her, she has been harboring sexual feelings towards me and to use her exact words "If I had known you were interested I would have jumped your bones earlier".

The thought of this raced through my mind and my pants and I found myself once again sucking the face of the older lady, we had a great hour of sexual parries and eventually I got some mouth love on my johnson. Now this lady wants to take things further and Im in a predicament, I could argue that the drink and the night got to me and it was a mistake and should never happen again, or I could egg her on and sleep with this women over and over again, the strange thing is I could really find myself been attracted to this women in more and a sexual gratification way and that scares the cr*p out of me.

So I turn to you dear GTP-ers or most anyway, especially those with similar tales. I don't want to do it because I would hate to be the cause of a breakup of a marriage and the destruction of a family, but on the other hand the temptation is too strong and Im finding myself thinking about it day in day out.

What should I do?

 

[McLaren]

You should stop as you just screwed over some guy's marriage....

 

[Bram Turismo]

So you slept with someone who's married and has 3, 3 children? Is that correct?



You bad, bad man!

 

[Sprite]

I've not slept with her, this is the problem Im having, should or should not?

Just to put some more facts into he equation, he (being her husband) is a total git, and treats her like a second class citizen, I met him once and he was a real bully, not just to her either but the kids, the one who is my age left home because of him.

 

[DuckRacer]

I've not slept with her, this is the problem Im having, should or should not?

Don't. Just don't. Two wrongs don't make a right. Just because you work in a "cheaters' paradise" or the woman you're considering sleeping with has an asshole husband doesn't mean you should sink to that low a level. You're already at the point of getting kisses and oral sex – unless you stop now, it's just going to go in a downward spiral as time goes on.

You won't want to live with the burden of breaking up a marriage, with three children no less. Get out of that situation as quickly as possible.

 

[McLaren]

I've not slept with her, this is the problem Im having, should or should not?

Just to put some more facts into he equation, he (being her husband) is a total git, and treats her like a second class citizen, I met him once and he was a real bully, not just to her either but the kids, the one who is my age left home because of him.

It's an obvious answer.
NO!

In fact, had you slept with her (w/out any sex), you'd still be better off than now. She performed oral sex on you. It doesn't matter what you do now, her marriage is now going to contain a nasty secret.

And don't use, "temptation is too strong and Im finding myself thinking about it day in day out" as an excuse.
I'm not buying that excuse and I'm pretty sure her husband won't either.

 

[Perfect Balance]

I'd have to say no too. The reasons have already been listed.

 

[Famine]

Just to put some more facts into he equation, he (being her husband) is a total git, and treats her like a second class citizen

And you know this how?

You've been told it by a woman who wants to allay your fears of breaking up her marriage by assuring you it's already broken. And you want to believe it in order to... errr... "mouth love"... errr... "Johnson".

I met him once and he was a real bully, not just to her either but the kids, the one who is my age left home because of him.

The evidence of a single encounter - one which you may already have been prejudiced by previous accounts - is not sufficient for you to wade in.

Do you want to take on the responsibility of this woman and her three kids? If not, don't get involved. At best she just wants some sex and, when her husband finds out the "bully" will be coming your way. Anything other than "at best" means a longer-term commitment...

 

[Solid Fro]

You should stop as you just screwed over some guy's marriage....

It wasn't Sprite who screwed over the marriage. She was the one who did it. She already had thoughts of being unfaithful.

I draw a line at marriage. I would never go after a woman who is already married. However, if she came after me and was attractive, no straight man would ever say no.

 

[McLaren]

It wasn't Sprite who screwed over the marriage. She was the one who did it. She already had thoughts of being unfaithful.

Too bad he consented to doing so. Had he not, maybe she wouldn't have screwded it over.

Having thoughts doesn't mean your marriage is dead and gone. It's not good for it, but it's not at the point Sprite has just taken it to.

 

[Solid Fro]

Too bad he consented to doing so. Had he not, maybe she wouldn't have screwded it over.

Like I said, no man is ever going to say no. If it wasn't Sprite, it would have been another guy. Are you going to blame it on him now?

Having thoughts doesn't mean your marriage is dead and gone. It's not good for it, but it's not at the point Sprite has just taken it to.

I would say it is dead. To have thoughts about other men is a good sign that her marriage is dead. If you truly love a person, you would never think about anyone else.

 

[McLaren]

Like I said, no man is ever going to say no. If it wasn't Sprite, it would have been another guy. Are you going to blame it on him now?

So, you're saying every married man is unfaithful then. That's nice....

But I also said maybe.

I would say it is dead. To have thoughts about other men is a good sign that her marriage is dead. If you truly love a person, you would never think about anyone else.

Too bad this isn't the perfect world. You can truely love a person all you want, but even 1 thought about another woman doesn't mean you don't.

 

[Solid Fro]

So, you're saying every married man is unfaithful then. That's nice....

But I also said maybe.

No, I draw the line at marriage. I wouldn't pursue a woman who I knew was married. However, if you were in that moment where she's going to take off your shirt, no man is going to say no.

Too bad this isn't the perfect world. You can truely love a person all you want, but even 1 thought about another woman doesn't mean you don't.

It's the consistent thoughts of other people. She acted upon those thoughts.

 

[McLaren]

No, I draw the line at marriage. I wouldn't pursue a woman who I knew was married. However, if you were in that moment where she's going to take off your shirt, no man is going to say no.

That's not what you said earlier.

However, if she came after me and was attractive, no straight man would ever say no

You're saying, no matter if you were single or married, you'd give in, and you assume every man would too.

You're also assuming no man would suddenly have 2nd thoughts about what he was doing before making a big mistake.

Please tell me how you know how I and every other man feels about strange women wanting sex. I'm pretty sure I've been faithful enough with any of my relationships to never think about cheating when I'm being hit on.

But you apparently know more about me than I do....

It's the consistent thoughts of other people. She acted upon those thoughts.

And he gave in. He is as right to blame for the failed marriage now. Unforunately for us, we can't see the alternate reality in which he said no, but it's too little, too late now.

 

[ROAD_DOGG33J]

Unforunately for us, we can't see the alternate reality in which he said no, but it's too little, too late now.

Or where the husband approved of his wife's activities

 

[Solid Fro]

Well, I'm only 22 and single. I'm saying what a 22-year old single male would do. If I was married, none of this would matter. I would be with the woman who I loved and I would never feel for another ever again.

 

[McLaren]

Or where the husband approved of his wife's activities

True, but from Sprite has said about him being a bully and treating her like a 2nd class citizen, he doesn't sound like the kind of fellow who just allows his wife to screw everyone.

Then again, I'm only going on by what Sprite has heard from this woman who would easily criticize the man as her excuse to being with Sprite.

 

[McLaren]

Well, I'm only 22 and single. I'm saying what a 22-year old single male would do. If I was married, none of this would matter. I would be with the woman who I loved and I would never feel for another ever again.

Then why did you say every straight man, married or single, would give in?
And better yet, how is that you are allowed to excuse yourself from your own assumption?

 

[Solid Fro]

Then why did you say every straight man, married or single, would give in?
And better yet, how is that you are allowed to excuse yourself from your own assumption?

I should have been more clear as to where I am coming from. Obviously, I have no knowledge of what it is to be married. So, I only think as being a single man. I apologize.

No SINGLE man would ever say no to a woman who is just about to unzip your pants.

Happy?

 

[McLaren]

Maybe I should have been more clear as to where I am coming from. Obviously, I have no knowledge of what it is to be married. So, I only think as being a single man.

If you have no knowledge of it, perhaps you shouldn't make assumptions about it. 👎

 

[Solid Fro]

When did I make an assumption about marriage or do you just not like my opinion?

 

[McLaren]

When did I make an assumption about marriage or do you just not like my opinion?

However, if she came after me and was attractive, no straight man would ever say no.

What the hell do you think a man married to a woman is? Bi?

Your opinion is a bunch of crap because you have nothing that supports your idea every straight man, which doesn't matter if he's married or single, would just let a woman have sex with him.

 

[Solid Fro]

What the hell do you think a man married to a woman is? Bi?

Your opinion is a bunch of crap because you have nothing that supports your idea every straight man, which doesn't matter if he's married or single, would just let a woman have sex with him.

Are you kidding me? Let's ASSUME that you are single and are a straight man. You would say no to an attractive woman who wants to make out with you, go down on you, have sex with you? Are you going to palm her face and tell her: NO WAY, WOMAN!

You must be a real hit at the parties.

In Sprite's case, I don't think what he did was wrong. The woman put herself in the position. This sexual side-quest should stay just that. I don't believe Sprite wants a relationship at all with this woman, it just that he made out with a 40-year old married woman, that's all. This woman has some marriage issues she needs to deal with herself and her husband. Sprite got some, totally awesome!

And that's my ****in' opinion!

 

[Sprite]

TBH guys I've never agreed with anyone sleeping outside of marriage, I mean we may be in the 20th century but commitment hasn't changed and neither have the oaths people take when getting married.

My worries aren't on the husband either, Like I've already said on the day I met him (work trip out) I spent the whole day listening to him bitch and moan about her to perfect strangers in her face, and not only that he was obnoxious and rude to her in front of everyone, Im not trying to use this as a reason for what I did and have considered doing, but it sure explains why she would be looking outside the marriage, the other two kids are also over 18 years of age, but I would not want to wreck there family life, although I am led to believe (from one of her friends way before this ever happened) that she is no stranger to the odd affair and neither is he, but still this is not an excuse.

I really regret what I did, but I cant deny the fact that I did have fun and that I would love for us to spend more time together. But Im willing to let well alone. for the sake of all, me I don't care about if I get a broken nose I would have deserved it, but the lady and her family don't deserve to be put through hell just for some fun.

I would like to say that maybe the first post sounded a bit flippant on my part, but I realy am in a moral dilemma.

 

[Famine]

This woman has some marriage issues she needs to deal with herself and her husband.

Well, quite. So at what point does the third person getting a gobjob come into it?

Never. Get. Involved. With. A. Married. Person.

 

[McLaren]

Are you kidding me? Let's ASSUME that you are single and are a straight man. You would say no to an attractive woman who wants to make out with you, go down on you, have sex with you? Are you going to palm her face and tell her: NO WAY, WOMAN!

But that's NOT what you said. You said straight, and that's your fault you made that stupid assumption.

In Sprite's case, I don't think what he did was wrong.

Really? So, he just had sex with a married woman, and he's done nothing wrong? I doubt you'd feel that way if you were her husband.

The woman put herself in the position. This sexual side-quest should stay just that. I don't believe Sprite wants a relationship at all with this woman, it just that he made out with a 40-year old married woman, that's all.

If he doesn't want a relationship, then why does he feel the "temptation is too strong and Im finding myself thinking about it day in day out"?

This woman has some marriage issues she needs to deal with herself and her husband. Sprite got some, totally awesome!

Remind me to say the same to you should you ever find your future wife in this situation. Again, I'm sure you won't be too happy.

And that's my ****in' opinion!

And your opinion is a bunch of hypocritical crap. You're a bystander now, and think it's awesome.

$50 says you'll feel differently if your wife ever cheats on you.

 

[V1P3R]

Let see there's...

Uh, duh... NO

There's...

Home Wrecker (if kids are involved)

There's...

Things in three are never a good thing. ( yeah yeah... a guy and two chicks don't count )

There's...

Entertainment for me. (sometimes)

No SINGLE man would ever say no to a woman who is just about to unzip your pants.

Happy?

What kind of woman? if it's a Married woman...

Aside from the lame "oh ur gay comment". I'd like to think I'm "responsible" enough to avoid getting into something that stupid. Not to mention I'm smart enough to avoid getting into something that's built on most likely lust, being selfish, or getting back at the spouse.

 

[McLaren]

TBH guys I've never agreed with anyone sleeping outside of marriage, I mean we may be in the 20th century but commitment hasn't changed and neither have the oaths people take when getting married.

My worries aren't on the husband either, Like I've already said on the day I met him (work trip out) I spent the whole day listening to him bitch and moan about her to perfect strangers in her face, and not only that he was obnoxious and rude to her in front of everyone, Im not trying to use this as a reason for what I did and have considered doing, but it sure explains why she would be looking outside the marriage, the other two kids are also over 18 years of age, but I would not want to wreck there family life, although I am led to believe (from one of her friends way before this ever happened) that she is no stranger to the odd affair and neither is he, but still this is not an excuse.

I really regret what I did, but I cant deny the fact that I did have fun and that I would love for us to spend more time together. But Im willing to let well alone. for the sake of all, me I don't care about if I get a broken nose I would have deserved it, but the lady and her family don't deserve to be put through hell just for some fun.

I would like to say that maybe the first post sounded a bit flippant on my part, but I realy am in a moral dilemma.

It's nice you feel this way, but you really need to leave it. Why would you want to get involved with a woman you say "is no stranger to the odd affair"?

That just tells me you'll use you, and move on like a whore. It's better you find someone who isn't married at least. I don't think you'd want to be in the middle of this should her husband find out.

 

[Sprite]

It's nice you feel this way, but you really need to leave it. Why would you want to get involved with a woman you say "is no stranger to the odd affair"?

That just tells me you'll use you, and move on like a whore. It's better you find someone who isn't married at least. I don't think you'd want to be in the middle of this should her husband find out.

I know this may sound a little sadistic and make me sound like a man-whore but I really don't care if I get used, sex is fun, hell it beats 100% of all other out of work activities.

 

[V1P3R]

You'll get what's coming to you...