- 5,766
- Anoka, MN
I humbly agree with thine sire.
Questionable modifications: pictures inside!
- Thread starter -Fred-
- 38,849 comments
- 2,866,170 views
- 33,155
- Hammerhead Garage
While I don't have any pictures - I didn't have a camera on me - I do have a bit of a story that fits here.
I admit it: my car has a rear spoiler that was not a part of it when I bought her. But rest assured that it was made by Mitsubishi, and we bought it because the rear of a 2001 Lancer looks a little weak without one. The reason I'm saying this is because today it drew a little bit of attention.
My best friend and I were going into town late this afternoon because I was making dinner for her and we needed to get some meat, but I was low on petrol and so I pulled into a petrol station just down the road on the way back. By strange twist of fate, only two of the eight pumps were working, an the only one that was free was adjacent to a Toyota Supra that was loaded with the works. I'm talking about stupidly low suspension, enough fibreglass wrapped around the front to insulate my block in college, an insane spoiler across the back that limited the driver's rearview to square about six inches by six inches, tinted headlights, tasteless alloys, all manner of TRD, HKS etc stickers (I'm pretty sure he had the whole alphabet on the side) and a paint job designed to make the thing look like it was raw carbon fibre (which would look awesome on an actual racing car).
Anyway, the driver is sitting there listening to - of all things - Parkway Drive, and suitably attired with the roof section removed while his girlfriend (somebody I know from classes) is in the process of refuelling the car and putting on a huge show of it while he's sitting there trying to look cool, but coming across as constipated. By now, I'm looking around for the cameras, because there's no way this thing can be serious, but apparently it was. The girlfriend climbs into the car without opening the door - after paying (and probably with her own money) - and straps herself into a racing seat before the guy turns the engine on. The sound from his tailpipe sounds like the Tsar Bomba and probably draws the attentions of every police patrol from here to the coast every time he so much as turns it on.
Me, I'm trying very hard not to laugh at the absurd sight as I refuel - leaving my friend in the air conditioned comfort rather than have her drape herself all over my car in an effort to prove my manhood - and I've forgotten him by the end of the block. But a few hours later we saw them again. My friend lives in a self-contained unit on the eastern side of the university, and we were sitting up on the balcony after dinner when this green-eyed monster comes in. Access to the carpark is via a narrow one-lane affair marked with several speed humps. This ridiculous car comes in and can't make it over the first speed hump because it's been lowered so far. He has to park it at a funny angle and drive it in, getting one wheel over at a time, then working the wheel to get opposite lock, performing a sixty-point turn and getting the other front wheel over. And that's just for the first of four. To add insult to injury, his girlfriend has to get out and walk him through it, but heavy rain has turned most of the grassy sections around the university into a swampy mire. We felt no obligation to help these two idiots for the next thirty-five minutes as they try to get the damned Supra in, apparently oblivious to the fact that they have to get it back out in the morning. When they finally parked it, the driver says "Well, s**t, sweetie, we're nearly out of the go-faster juice. Gonna have to fill my baby up with the good stuff in the morning!", his voice carrying all the way over to us (admittedly, we weren't far away).
So there you have it. Dinner and a show.
I admit it: my car has a rear spoiler that was not a part of it when I bought her. But rest assured that it was made by Mitsubishi, and we bought it because the rear of a 2001 Lancer looks a little weak without one. The reason I'm saying this is because today it drew a little bit of attention.
My best friend and I were going into town late this afternoon because I was making dinner for her and we needed to get some meat, but I was low on petrol and so I pulled into a petrol station just down the road on the way back. By strange twist of fate, only two of the eight pumps were working, an the only one that was free was adjacent to a Toyota Supra that was loaded with the works. I'm talking about stupidly low suspension, enough fibreglass wrapped around the front to insulate my block in college, an insane spoiler across the back that limited the driver's rearview to square about six inches by six inches, tinted headlights, tasteless alloys, all manner of TRD, HKS etc stickers (I'm pretty sure he had the whole alphabet on the side) and a paint job designed to make the thing look like it was raw carbon fibre (which would look awesome on an actual racing car).
Anyway, the driver is sitting there listening to - of all things - Parkway Drive, and suitably attired with the roof section removed while his girlfriend (somebody I know from classes) is in the process of refuelling the car and putting on a huge show of it while he's sitting there trying to look cool, but coming across as constipated. By now, I'm looking around for the cameras, because there's no way this thing can be serious, but apparently it was. The girlfriend climbs into the car without opening the door - after paying (and probably with her own money) - and straps herself into a racing seat before the guy turns the engine on. The sound from his tailpipe sounds like the Tsar Bomba and probably draws the attentions of every police patrol from here to the coast every time he so much as turns it on.
Me, I'm trying very hard not to laugh at the absurd sight as I refuel - leaving my friend in the air conditioned comfort rather than have her drape herself all over my car in an effort to prove my manhood - and I've forgotten him by the end of the block. But a few hours later we saw them again. My friend lives in a self-contained unit on the eastern side of the university, and we were sitting up on the balcony after dinner when this green-eyed monster comes in. Access to the carpark is via a narrow one-lane affair marked with several speed humps. This ridiculous car comes in and can't make it over the first speed hump because it's been lowered so far. He has to park it at a funny angle and drive it in, getting one wheel over at a time, then working the wheel to get opposite lock, performing a sixty-point turn and getting the other front wheel over. And that's just for the first of four. To add insult to injury, his girlfriend has to get out and walk him through it, but heavy rain has turned most of the grassy sections around the university into a swampy mire. We felt no obligation to help these two idiots for the next thirty-five minutes as they try to get the damned Supra in, apparently oblivious to the fact that they have to get it back out in the morning. When they finally parked it, the driver says "Well, s**t, sweetie, we're nearly out of the go-faster juice. Gonna have to fill my baby up with the good stuff in the morning!", his voice carrying all the way over to us (admittedly, we weren't far away).
So there you have it. Dinner and a show.
- 27,203
- United Kingdom
...Anyway
Why, just why?
See below:
Not photoshopped guys - I couldn't find much about it on the net (seems it was a very small story at the time) but in early 2001 Mercedes turned a CLK convertible into the car you see above so they could study how much of an impact on visibility things like pillars are in cars and use the data to improve the visibility in their production models. I took a quick photo of a very small feature article in an old Top Gear magazine:
Agreed, it's not the prettiest of things, but certainly not without purpose.
- 33,155
- Hammerhead Garage
- 3,770
- Boss-Barracuda
Next time you see the car you should do what my friend and I do all the time. Get a tennis ball (they're pretty cheap, like $1 or so for 3), write ricer in big letters on it with a marker, then stick it in their fart can. A tennis ball is suprisingly too small to plug it but it will rest well if you place it right. This may seem like a douche thing to do, but as you saw the owner is a total douche, and even if they don't see it it will just roll out, no harm done save for their enormous ego.
- 10,620
- gtp_jimprower
If you can get to it without them seeing you. Then you're asking for him to prove his manhood to your face. Mind you, stupid people can punch hard. It's how they survive.
- 5,766
- Anoka, MN
It's the 21st century Batmobile!
- 5,987
That yacht is pretty substantial.
- 10,620
- gtp_jimprower
It's a waste of Carbon Fiber.
- 27,203
- United Kingdom
So you can make the SLR even uglier!
- 8,480
- P_Balance
That's actually "supposed" to be a functional upgrade. (the plate with holes in it)
The rear bumper is quite literally a massive scoop hanging underneath the car, so this is supposed to let the air travel more smoothly under the car.
Although I think it might have been designed under the same type of thinking that made people think putting your tailgate down on a truck increases you gas mileage.
The rear bumper is quite literally a massive scoop hanging underneath the car, so this is supposed to let the air travel more smoothly under the car.
Although I think it might have been designed under the same type of thinking that made people think putting your tailgate down on a truck increases you gas mileage.
- 27,203
- United Kingdom
That makes sense, but if they were really that bothered about it they'd be better making and fitting some kind of basic diffuser and undertray, which would have the same or greater benefits but with none of the shoddy look.
- 1,012
- Portugal
- ULTRA-FLOW
- 3,433
good lord what has he done to that mustang!
the holey honda looks shopped there...the lightings all wrong and oddly crisp
the holey honda looks shopped there...the lightings all wrong and oddly crisp
- 7,588
- Whateversville
- Flerbizky
Agree - Something is definitely "off"...
- 10,620
- gtp_jimprower
Yeah, please, post the original. It'd be more believable.
- 3,542
- Marin County, C
- 3,542
- Marin County, C
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