In-lobby replays would be helpful for sure. With the ability to go straight to the problem point even better.
a) real life races can't compare to people trying to have fun in a video game - there's a whole different set of motivations, incentives, consequences, etc. etc. Comparing the 2, to me, in the context of this discussion is, quite frankly, completely irrelevant.
b) you must only participate with dirty drivers if all races are dirty.
I RARELY see dirty driving or dirty drivers. Indeed, most of the races I participate in, there are barely any accidental crashes, not even much accidental contact... never mind dirty driving or deliberate collisions.
My opinion - Either, for 10 years, you've been playing racing games with some real jerks, OR you've just for 10 years played only with really sloppy players... OR, you yourself are not actually a clean driver at all, and have no clue what some of us are talking about when many of us say "clean".