Social Support Network @GTP

[W3H5]

Great to hear on all counts. If you've lost the bottle in the past, don't fret over finding it again. History will repeat itself. Sooner or later the desire/need to go looking again diminishes. Even then, if it doesn't, wash/rinse/repeat. If you've taken any steps that you qualify as progress, it's never a failure, and no matter how many times you re-trace those same steps.

I think you summed up how almost every alcoholic feels exceptionally well, btw:

• "I'm so sick of punishing my future self."

5-star review and will read repeatedly as that, kind sir, struck very near and dear to me. Thank you for that.

I'm glad you're here. Humanity is a brotherhood whether you like the humans around you or not. We're not designed to do this alone so we might as well enjoy each-others company. 😁

This thread was created with the intent to help air suffering and find help in the form of others.
You have perfectly justified its creation.
Cheers.

I'm going to have to start posting my thoughts in a different thread... totes a Debbie Downer.

I don't really give a ** about my future self, I know at some point in the past my life peaked and everything between then and death is a slow depressing slide towards oblivion. Mouth cancer, throat cancer, stomach cancer, arse cancer - it's all on the cards, why the ** would I want to live through that? Just to live out my last decades in poverty and irrelevance?

If I thought there was genuine hope for a better existence why would I be drinking in the first place? I've outlived my Mum, I feel obliged to out live my Dad, after that... **** it... strap dynamite to me and trebuchet me at Parliament.

Keep posting those thoughts here, they get listened to and hopefully a helpful response. That’s why it’s here.

The oblivion state of mind is exactly the result of alcohol on my mental perspective. I was living that the past few months.

For cliché points, finding something to live for, and focusing efforts on that, can be a huge assist.

For what it’s worth, I’ll drop you an inbox with my number if you think it might help to reach out.

 

[mellofello9]

I'm going to have to start posting my thoughts in a different thread... totes a Debbie Downer.

I don't really give a ** about my future self, I know at some point in the past my life peaked and everything between then and death is a slow depressing slide towards oblivion. Mouth cancer, throat cancer, stomach cancer, arse cancer - it's all on the cards, why the ** would I want to live through that? Just to live out my last decades in poverty and irrelevance?

If I thought there was genuine hope for a better existence why would I be drinking in the first place? I've outlived my Mum, I feel obliged to out live my Dad, after that... **** it... strap dynamite to me and trebuchet me at Parliament.

LOL...that'd be the worst idea ever. Really. This thread depends on both sides of the story, good and bad, so bring it. Otherwise it just becomes rainbows and unicorns in here and that helps nobody.😁

In all seriousness, I am sorry that you are enduring what you are. What I found encouraging is the fact that you haven't lost your sense of humor. With regard to the poverty and irrelevance, poverty may be unavoidable thanks to health challenges. However, the good ship irrelevance is still yours to pilot. Break out the sextant and find those seas of relevance...if you like.

Whatever you choose, be sure to share. If nothing else, I'd bet there's a whole bunch of people who feel EXACTLY as you do. There is tremendous comfort in finding commonality. Maybe everyone could benefit from simply knowing someone else is out there, and that they're just like them.👍

 

[MatskiMonk]

@W3H5 specifically, thanks for reaching out. To both you, @mellofello9, I'm not here at my wits end 'for the last time' or anything like that, that phase of my life has passed -- but I remain a realist -- one day topping myself will just make sense, I accept that, but it's not now and won't be because of alcohol.

If nothing else, I'd bet there's a whole bunch of people who feel EXACTLY as you do. There is tremendous comfort in finding commonality. Maybe everyone could benefit from simply knowing someone else is out there, and that they're just like them.

I don't want comfort in commonality though... I want to offer it, I want people like Shem, that have something to live for, and to push forward for, to know that as hard as he finds it, he's not alone...but I also know that no-one saying such things to me will ever make a difference. I've lived with depression, anxiety, alcoholism etc for more than 30 years, I learned 25 years ago that the best that will come of it is helping other people, when I offered my experience to the national self harm network (I maybe helped 5 people, it's my lifes work).

Things aren't unicorns and rainbows for everyone, some people just have to accept that their lives aren't going to go the way they think they should. I wonder, I've always wondered what, if we accept this, what it allows us to do as people, what the freedom from expectation could bring. Does being depressed and having nothing you can internally embrace give you the freedom to do anything.... should you strive, in life long anguish, to achieve something you never will, or embrace the reality.. and strive to achieve something else?

 

[W3H5]

I’ve spent a lot of time trying to find the right way to respond to this, but I’m lost for words for once.

All the replies that have run through my noggin just seem like platitudes.

 

[W3H5]

A month of sobriety and my first major hurdle is my birthday coming up this weekend. I really want to kick back with a pint or several but I know it’ll lead me down the path to overdoing it again.

Anyone have any suggestions for spending a day with company and not involving beer?

 

[INEEDNAWZZZ]

I know it seems like an obvious answer but would alcohol free beers not suffice? I gave up proper beer in social situations because my self loathing came out thick and fast after a couple, but I've always enjoyed the refreshment of a cold one (and wanted to 'fit in' with others in the group) so I made the switch to 0%, and honestly it hits the spot, for me at least.

Granted, there has been more of an influx of alcohol free alternatives from Western brands which may not be available in your neck of the woods (or if there are, they may be prohibitively expensive), but may be worth a look to see what's out there.

 

[W3H5]

I know it seems like an obvious answer but would alcohol free beers not suffice? I gave up proper beer in social situations because my self loathing came out thick and fast after a couple, but I've always enjoyed the refreshment of a cold one (and wanted to 'fit in' with others in the group) so I made the switch to 0%, and honestly it hits the spot, for me at least.

Granted, there has been more of an influx of alcohol free alternatives from Western brands which may not be available in your neck of the woods (or if there are, they may be prohibitively expensive), but may be worth a look to see what's out there.

I’ve never seen any 0% here, and it would be extortionate, I’m sure.

I don’t go out and socialise, I just liked drinking beer at home but I can’t hack it anymore.

 

[mellofello9]

...been a while. We all doin' alright?