First of all, I'm not rich nor am I poor. I'd like to use the term middle class. In any event, I've hung out with friends from the hood to friends from upper class suburbs. Anyways, now and then my friends (middle class and hood status alike) complain of spoil rich kids and I always say, "look, if I was filthy rich, I'd shower my kids with love and money." Hell, you work a third of your life why would you pass that on to your kids? If I ever make the kinda money people in Weston, Florida make, I'd give them the world. See, the wierd thing is that I associate myself more with my less unfortunate friends and tend to stay thrifty, hit the flea market/carol mart, and not flaunt my riches. However, that's just me. I don't like to flaunt my riches.
Spoiled rich kids?
- Thread starter s0nny80y
- 48 comments
- 3,115 views
My opinion on being rich is something that sounds weird for alot of people. But it's dam well sure that it is good to have money. But I think that being rich means that you've done it all and you have no more goals in life. Let's see this on the otherside. You work your entire life to build your life and a family, you work to have money when you'll be old... We need money to live, and to have money, you have to work. The goal in life is to work, to simply do all those things. But if you were rich and had all the things you ever wanted, will there be anymore things to do in your life ??? Yeah sure, some people will answer "enjoying what you have" or "doing a tour around the world". These things don't take 10 years to accomplish. After doing it all, owning it all, what's left in life ??? You know when people say that money doesn't make you happy, this is what it means, it doesn't means that if you were rich you would lose all your friends. I know some rich people who still have friends, and some don't. If you lose your friends, it's because you change your attitudes, your personality.
Even if this is my opinion, I got to say that I myself would like to have money. NOT ALOT, but enough to have the things that I want, and comparing to some people, I don't want alot.
Matter is, money can bring you the things that you dream of, but does it worth it ???
Now, about rich kids. I'm not personnally a guy who wants kids, but if I had some and was rich, I would give them some. I know that YOU work all your life to become rich and the idea of giving money to your kids who lives at your expenses is kind of... But money isn't love, and love isn't money. Giving your kids lots of money won't necessarily make them love you. They, of course, will appreciate your gesture by making it sound like they love you. So, I think giving your kids money is and isn't a good idea. You got to balance the whole thing. If I had kids, I would give them love first. I would buy the necessary things they need such as clothes (which could be expensive clothes. You know, clothes are clothes. They are needed. It's a kind of money gesture in some way.), food, etc... If I had kids, I would limit the amount of money I would give to them in months. In that way, you can't give them too much. Buying whatever they want everytime they want something IS TOO MUCH. It's a matter of balance. You got to show them who's the boss. Kids can scream, break things, but you got to show them that money is hard work, and if they want more, "just find yourself a job".
That's my opinion.
Even if this is my opinion, I got to say that I myself would like to have money. NOT ALOT, but enough to have the things that I want, and comparing to some people, I don't want alot.
Matter is, money can bring you the things that you dream of, but does it worth it ???
Now, about rich kids. I'm not personnally a guy who wants kids, but if I had some and was rich, I would give them some. I know that YOU work all your life to become rich and the idea of giving money to your kids who lives at your expenses is kind of... But money isn't love, and love isn't money. Giving your kids lots of money won't necessarily make them love you. They, of course, will appreciate your gesture by making it sound like they love you. So, I think giving your kids money is and isn't a good idea. You got to balance the whole thing. If I had kids, I would give them love first. I would buy the necessary things they need such as clothes (which could be expensive clothes. You know, clothes are clothes. They are needed. It's a kind of money gesture in some way.), food, etc... If I had kids, I would limit the amount of money I would give to them in months. In that way, you can't give them too much. Buying whatever they want everytime they want something IS TOO MUCH. It's a matter of balance. You got to show them who's the boss. Kids can scream, break things, but you got to show them that money is hard work, and if they want more, "just find yourself a job".
That's my opinion.
- 3,704
Ever watch the show on MTV my super sweet 16"?
those kinds are complete brats...
those kinds are complete brats...
- 4,822
- Concord, CA
- kylehnat
Holy ****, that show makes me want to bash my head in with a pipe!opendriver19a
If I were stinking rich, I would not spoil my kids like that. I would bring them up the same way I was brought up. If they want something, they'll have to work to get it. This doesn't necessarily mean they have to flip burgers at age 14, but you know what I mean. Want money to go to the movies? Mow the lawn. Want a car for your 16th birthday? Fine, but only if you've been good for 16 years, and I'm buying you the most boring sedan I can find. You want to throw a $100,000 birthday party? No. I'm using that money to buy the baby Aston. And you can forget about ever touching it.
- 2,615
- Germany
- Wangan01
- Wangan01
I also think that it is a matter of balance. Giving your children a lot of money / things is not necessarily a problem, even if it is high above average.
Personally i think that yout have to ensure that your child gets a good education which involves a lot of work for school, later university etc. That is what you as a parent should demand imo. Everything else is not the problem, if the kid learns hard enough, give him 1000 $ a month or a week if you can afford it. You just have to make sure that this kid also knows the reality, that many people have to survive with a few hundret $ a month...
As Mugen Vtec said, I agree that rich people have less goals, which can make life more boring. But that also depends on your personality. You can easily spend the 70 years you have with : touring around the world ( 3 months a year in one country, next year, next country again for three months etc after 5 years you also might want to go back to one of those countries you learned to love etc ), doing a job for fun, like driving race cars in open leagues ( lor local rallies, autocross etc), playing golf on the finest courses around the world, collecting stuff (cars for example
) etc etc.... It really depends on what you like, then again you need a lot of money to live the life I described above. So there might be somebody who is rich enough to lose a lot of goals, but who is not rich enough to tour around the world and collect Ferraris 
etc...
I think "happiness" is not directly connected to money ( except for having a certain minimum of course ), so coming back to the subject I'd say that children who "seem" to be spoiled brats for the majority can be everything from perfectly happy to depressive and desperate, just as everybody else.
Personally i think that yout have to ensure that your child gets a good education which involves a lot of work for school, later university etc. That is what you as a parent should demand imo. Everything else is not the problem, if the kid learns hard enough, give him 1000 $ a month or a week if you can afford it. You just have to make sure that this kid also knows the reality, that many people have to survive with a few hundret $ a month...
As Mugen Vtec said, I agree that rich people have less goals, which can make life more boring. But that also depends on your personality. You can easily spend the 70 years you have with : touring around the world ( 3 months a year in one country, next year, next country again for three months etc after 5 years you also might want to go back to one of those countries you learned to love etc ), doing a job for fun, like driving race cars in open leagues ( lor local rallies, autocross etc), playing golf on the finest courses around the world, collecting stuff (cars for example
) etc etc.... It really depends on what you like, then again you need a lot of money to live the life I described above. So there might be somebody who is rich enough to lose a lot of goals, but who is not rich enough to tour around the world and collect Ferraris etc...I think "happiness" is not directly connected to money ( except for having a certain minimum of course ), so coming back to the subject I'd say that children who "seem" to be spoiled brats for the majority can be everything from perfectly happy to depressive and desperate, just as everybody else.
- 2,615
- Germany
- Wangan01
- Wangan01
kylehnat
Nah it is not that simple. Can be the case, but not necessarily. It depends on what you teach your kids. Also don't forget, that is no problem when your kid spend 1000$ a week when you can afford it because you earn 60k $ a month for example...
The dad of a friend of mine makes a million $ a year, so I actually know a practical example... It's not always that simple. So when your dads makes a fortune every year, the whole family has a a lot of money and houses etc ( = you won't run out of money even if you don't work ), so why shouldn't you spend the money ?
The other night i happend to stumble upon MTV's "My sweet 16," or something like that. Look i know, im not proud of it, i was bored and half drunk. What i saw of that show made me want to strangle the hell out of those rich kids. Examples:
"Its used? ew."
"I wont accept anything less than a range rover."
"My mom cancelled my credit card, that *****."
"look mom i know you dont think the world revolves around me but today it does."
"I want everyone to see how rich i am"
"Im so hot, im like a super model."
You get the idea. Im not rich, yet. I didnt grow up rich. Anything now i had to work my ass off for and things are starting to fall into place nicely. When i do get up into the higher money bracket and i have kids, im not spoiling them. Im GLAD i didnt grow up rich, although i would have liked having a nicer car. Getting spoiled like that doesnt let a child know the importance of earning what they get. They dont realize the value of a dollar. It's like these people who say they "NEED their cell phone," "NEED their computer," "CANT live without their caffe latte in the morning." Rediculous. This makes want to go watch fight club.
"Its used? ew."
"I wont accept anything less than a range rover."
"My mom cancelled my credit card, that *****."
"look mom i know you dont think the world revolves around me but today it does."
"I want everyone to see how rich i am"
"Im so hot, im like a super model."
You get the idea. Im not rich, yet. I didnt grow up rich. Anything now i had to work my ass off for and things are starting to fall into place nicely. When i do get up into the higher money bracket and i have kids, im not spoiling them. Im GLAD i didnt grow up rich, although i would have liked having a nicer car. Getting spoiled like that doesnt let a child know the importance of earning what they get. They dont realize the value of a dollar. It's like these people who say they "NEED their cell phone," "NEED their computer," "CANT live without their caffe latte in the morning." Rediculous. This makes want to go watch fight club.
Danoff
Premium
- 34,118
- Mile High City
s0nny80y
Why? Because you hate them? Showering your kids with money seriously perverts their understanding of the world outside of what you provide for them. It'll only make it harder for them when they go off on their own.
I plan to be rich. I've already worked my way up from my first minimum wage job to a decent middle class living. But when I do have kids I plan to be very careful with what I give them and how. Here's an example.
When I was a kid, my parents bought me things unexpectedly. They bought me fast food sometimes if I asked for it when they were coming home from work and they happened not to feel like cooking. They bought me toys when I begged for it and they were in the mood to buy me something. They bought me movie tickets when I begged enough. Gave me money to go out with friends if I asked hard enough. Mainly it was a matter of getting me to beg them. If I was willing to make enough noise, they would decide that I wanted it badly enough for them to separate with their cash.
What does that teach a kid? Beg often, beg loudly. What does it teach them about the value of the dollar? Nada.
I know someone whose parents were far wealthier than mine. And her parents would give her an allowance each month. Now I'm not talking about a reward for doing chores (which most kids will opt out of). This was simply an allowance that was given out on a monthly basis for being their child. Each kid then had to purchase her own clothes. Her own books, her own music, her own toys, her own candy. This made the children think very carefully about what they wanted and how to spend their money. The parents never bought them things outside of their allowance, so begging was discovered quickly to be useless. It also ensured that the parents were equal with their kids. No kid felt like the other one got more than they did. Oh, and fast food was relegated to once per week on the same day - same meal. Begging for fast food was useless. Allowance went up as they got older and their expenses increased.
What does that teach a kid? How to be responsible with money, manage a budget, save, and the value of one item vs. another. It also teaches them that their parents are fair and can be counted on to provide a consistent level of support. They never felt slighted by a parent's random decision not to buy a certain toy. Most importantly, they learned something about having personal property and economic freedom at an early age.
That's a beautiful system. It can still be corrupted by giving them too much. It becomes pointless when a 10 year old's allowance is $10k/month. The idea is to teach them how to function within a limited budget. That's an important part of education and general development. Without that, you've raised a child whose growth has been stunted - perhaps permanently as they'll return to you later in life for handouts as well.
- 2,615
- Germany
- Wangan01
- Wangan01
SS69
But you can't make a rule out of these specific people in that show. Not all rich people are like that.
Often you won't realize if they are rich or how rich they are. I don't know how it is in America, but in Germany it is not that common to show off what you have in such a way, but of course we also have people like that.
- 4,822
- Concord, CA
- kylehnat
Very well said.danoff
Learning how to budget and spend money effectively is one of life's great lessons. Children won't and can't learn how to do this unless they're forced to. My family wasn't poor, but almost all of my toys were purchased with my own money (except birthday and Christmas presents). I got a weekly allowance for doing some simple chores, and let me tell you, there was no greater feeling for me than to save up $50 or $60 over a few months, and then buy that really cool toy or Lego set that I wanted. Once I started driving, I learned a little about "expenses". My parents wouldn't raise my allowance, but neighbors starting paying me to do odd jobs. The lesson? If you need more money, you'll have to work harder to get it. Did it work? Yes.
- 21,286
- GR-MI-USA
- YSSMAN
- YSSMAN
I grew up in a rather wealthy town in Western Michigan, generally defined as Forest Hills. Here, the average income is almost $40,000 per person and the average home price is just above $220,000 (mind you, that is a single-story ranch with three bedrooms, two baths, and a two-stall garage. Anywhere else, $150K).
Most of my friends' parents were doctors or wealthy businessmen (I actually went to school with the grandkids of the DeVos family that founded Amway, now called Alticor). I on the other hand was part of the very small middle-class in Forest Hills with my parents' combined income right at $70K. We lived in a modest ranch on a fairly large plot of land, really lived pretty good for my Dad being a mechanic and my Mom a product tester/developer. But times changed, divorces happened, jobs were losts, and wages decreased.
...I think compared to the rest of the kids I grew up with, I have a far-better grasp on reality. I know not everything is going to be given to me, and that I have to earn it. I also have learned that there are consequences to my actions, thus I stayed away from their parties overflowing with alchol and unprotected sex. Baisically, I was fighting to get through school and get out.
There are two sides to this story. On the one hand, you have the spoiled rich kids... And on the other, you have the rich kids who live like everyone else. One of my best friends is the "heir" to the family business, a long-standing Ford dealer in the Grand Rapids area. He is unquestionably wealthy, but you wouldnt ever guess it by looking at him. He dresses like everyone else, and unlike most of his friends, he has to work to be able to get a car from Dad, it isnt just given to him. His parents werent to lavish with their money either. Their house was expensive, but it wasent as outrageous as others who made the same ammount of money. They didnt drive around in luxury rides, they drove Ford Explorers and Crown Victorias like the rest of us (although he did buy a GT, from what I hear).
Ya know, I cant say how exactly I would treat my kids if I had a lot of money. I come from a pretty tight-fisted Dutch/German family when it comes to money, and I really dont like to spend money unless I have to. I suppose what it comes down to is the fact that I do like to live lavishly, but I dont like the price of it all. Sure, if I was pulling down $500K a year there is a good chance we would be living in a nice house and driving nice cars... And of course I would want my kids to have the things I didnt when I was growing up, but it isnt going to be handed to them either.
I guess it all depends for the most part. Depends on the money, depends on the parents, and depends on the kids. There are good seeds and bad seeds, and more often than not, they are bad seeds... And thats just the way it is.
Most of my friends' parents were doctors or wealthy businessmen (I actually went to school with the grandkids of the DeVos family that founded Amway, now called Alticor). I on the other hand was part of the very small middle-class in Forest Hills with my parents' combined income right at $70K. We lived in a modest ranch on a fairly large plot of land, really lived pretty good for my Dad being a mechanic and my Mom a product tester/developer. But times changed, divorces happened, jobs were losts, and wages decreased.
...I think compared to the rest of the kids I grew up with, I have a far-better grasp on reality. I know not everything is going to be given to me, and that I have to earn it. I also have learned that there are consequences to my actions, thus I stayed away from their parties overflowing with alchol and unprotected sex. Baisically, I was fighting to get through school and get out.
There are two sides to this story. On the one hand, you have the spoiled rich kids... And on the other, you have the rich kids who live like everyone else. One of my best friends is the "heir" to the family business, a long-standing Ford dealer in the Grand Rapids area. He is unquestionably wealthy, but you wouldnt ever guess it by looking at him. He dresses like everyone else, and unlike most of his friends, he has to work to be able to get a car from Dad, it isnt just given to him. His parents werent to lavish with their money either. Their house was expensive, but it wasent as outrageous as others who made the same ammount of money. They didnt drive around in luxury rides, they drove Ford Explorers and Crown Victorias like the rest of us (although he did buy a GT, from what I hear).
Ya know, I cant say how exactly I would treat my kids if I had a lot of money. I come from a pretty tight-fisted Dutch/German family when it comes to money, and I really dont like to spend money unless I have to. I suppose what it comes down to is the fact that I do like to live lavishly, but I dont like the price of it all. Sure, if I was pulling down $500K a year there is a good chance we would be living in a nice house and driving nice cars... And of course I would want my kids to have the things I didnt when I was growing up, but it isnt going to be handed to them either.
I guess it all depends for the most part. Depends on the money, depends on the parents, and depends on the kids. There are good seeds and bad seeds, and more often than not, they are bad seeds... And thats just the way it is.
McLaren
Premium
- 45,723
- Texas
Well, as someone who happens to live near those types of girls, I can say they aren't all like that.
Generally, when I tell people where I'm from, I do get one of 2 things.
1)Where's that?
2)You must be loaded!
1 usually leads to 2 though when I tell them about it.
But what pisses me off is when people conclude I am like those b*tches on My Sweet 16. I will tell you all now, I am not. Yes, I live a great life, yes, I have a rich family. That does not mean though, that I only care about my money.
As for the goals comment, yes, that is partly true. When you have money, it is typically easier to obtain your goals in life.
YSSMAN, your friend is exactly how I'd like to live my life. However, you could say I'm too spoiled to actually give it away and start from scratch. But I dress like guys outside this county. I buy my clothes from Wal-Mart, Target, Kohl's and other places like many of you might.
Yeah, I do buy from expensive places sometimes, and I do have good relations with wealthy people. But I still like chillin' with anyone.
I was brought up to be glad I had this money, and that I was too hang out and even marry someone who had money in their family. My sister was the only one who followed this family rule. I broke out, and found love with girls in the Medium Wealth areas. My family wasn't too pleased, but to find a rich girl here who wasn't one who had her man buy for her was hard. I did find Jennifer, but that was in Europe.
My appologies for a non-thought out post. I'm still trying to put my thoughts together.
Generally, when I tell people where I'm from, I do get one of 2 things.
1)Where's that?
2)You must be loaded!
1 usually leads to 2 though when I tell them about it.
But what pisses me off is when people conclude I am like those b*tches on My Sweet 16. I will tell you all now, I am not. Yes, I live a great life, yes, I have a rich family. That does not mean though, that I only care about my money.
As for the goals comment, yes, that is partly true. When you have money, it is typically easier to obtain your goals in life.
YSSMAN, your friend is exactly how I'd like to live my life. However, you could say I'm too spoiled to actually give it away and start from scratch. But I dress like guys outside this county. I buy my clothes from Wal-Mart, Target, Kohl's and other places like many of you might.
Yeah, I do buy from expensive places sometimes, and I do have good relations with wealthy people. But I still like chillin' with anyone.
I was brought up to be glad I had this money, and that I was too hang out and even marry someone who had money in their family. My sister was the only one who followed this family rule. I broke out, and found love with girls in the Medium Wealth areas. My family wasn't too pleased, but to find a rich girl here who wasn't one who had her man buy for her was hard. I did find Jennifer, but that was in Europe.
My appologies for a non-thought out post. I'm still trying to put my thoughts together.
- 563
I'm working with a guy that is the embodiment of this topic. He was the kid that everybody wanted to be growing up. 100$ a week in high school, never did chores, great clothes, nice car, life of the party right
His dads a lawyer, makes really good cash. Were not talking stinking rich, but like in 300 000$ annual area. Hes 26 now and lives on his own in a town away from his hometown. He cant do groceries, cant cook, cant hold down a relationship and is addicted to gambling, light drugs and alcohol. We make good cash here, yet he still manages to only live pay to pay. Not that it matters as his parents are spending a small fortune paying for his rent and other amenities whenever he runs short. Hes often late and really doesnt care about his job. Hes not a bad guy. Hes very generous and honest, its just that his moral and concept of money are all screwed up. Example: Hes had high-speed cable Internet for the last two years, of which hes only had a working computer for the first three months. He has a penthouse apartment which runs as much as my house payment, yet he lives like a squatter. Money is never a good thing to simply give kids. My allowance was 10$ a week and only if I mowed the lawn, put out the trash
You know average male child chores. With this 10$, I was able to rent a movie/game and split a pizza with a buddy and that kept me happy. I did how ever manage to save enough, when the time called, to get whatever new system was coming out at the time. There is a very big difference between giving your kids a good life and ruining it with money
Parents often blur the lines and later cant undo what theyve done
- 4,822
- Concord, CA
- kylehnat
Nice 👍Canadian Speed
Certainly give your kids what they need, but be careful about giving them what they want. This includes paying rent if the child is not willing to work hard or show some sort of money sense. My parents are chipping in a bit for my rent, but I'm working hard at school and work, and I'm not drinking bottles of Dom Perignon in front of their faces. Most of my income is tied up paying other expenses.
- 4,766
- Kansas City, KS
- FlyingAGasoline
I guess I could say that I'm a rich kid, due to the success my Dad has had for himself. But, I don't think that I flaunt it.
My dad started an insurance agency in the 80's, and built it up really big. He went from one big office to the next, and then he sold it in the early 90's. It's a long story, but a belligerent Bank froze his corporate funds and stuff, and he went into a nasty lawsuit for over a year with them. After he started over in about 1996, he's again built up his company, and uses a lot of his money funding various community betterment projects in his hometown.
But, this is about rich kids, not rich parents.
Sure, My dad might be a "millionaire". We don't live like it. He drives a Dodge Charger, and lives in an average 2400 square foot house in Johnson county. I clean my room, take care of the dogs, and get good grades, like all of my friends. Sure, I have 2 cars, but I don't flaunt it. Honestly, the value of my two put together is probably less than the average teen's new corolla. My parents have taught me the value of money. Sure, I guess I'll be inhereting a good amount 25 years from now, (Dad's 54, and he just quit smoking after 25 years of it, i hope he lasts at least that long) but I won't live extravagantly. I buy my clothes at Target or Walmart. I don't really judge others by their economic prosperity, and I'm not above stopping to help someone out. Hopefully, I won't get into the postion that my cousin is in, where her dad is basically paying her rent.
Nice thread topic.
Sorry for the unclearness of this post.. I'm not all together right now.. AP english paper in progress..
My dad started an insurance agency in the 80's, and built it up really big. He went from one big office to the next, and then he sold it in the early 90's. It's a long story, but a belligerent Bank froze his corporate funds and stuff, and he went into a nasty lawsuit for over a year with them. After he started over in about 1996, he's again built up his company, and uses a lot of his money funding various community betterment projects in his hometown.
But, this is about rich kids, not rich parents.
Sure, My dad might be a "millionaire". We don't live like it. He drives a Dodge Charger, and lives in an average 2400 square foot house in Johnson county. I clean my room, take care of the dogs, and get good grades, like all of my friends. Sure, I have 2 cars, but I don't flaunt it. Honestly, the value of my two put together is probably less than the average teen's new corolla. My parents have taught me the value of money. Sure, I guess I'll be inhereting a good amount 25 years from now, (Dad's 54, and he just quit smoking after 25 years of it, i hope he lasts at least that long) but I won't live extravagantly. I buy my clothes at Target or Walmart. I don't really judge others by their economic prosperity, and I'm not above stopping to help someone out. Hopefully, I won't get into the postion that my cousin is in, where her dad is basically paying her rent.
Nice thread topic.
Sorry for the unclearness of this post.. I'm not all together right now.. AP english paper in progress..
- 1,003
I see no problem buying kids lots of crap. It's the rest of the raising they get thats the problem. "my mom cancelled my credit card, that b****" she clearly wasnt taught discipline and respect. "used? ew" so she doesnt want something old. I dont want used things either. do you? wouldnt you rather have a new one? buying your 16-year old son a new Viper is dumb. not because of money, because he might die. the value of a dollar? depends how many dollars you have. these rich kids never end up homeless on new york streets. they get enough concept of a dollar they need.
A kid won't think/act like they're better than everyone with less money if you teach them right. they won't act like your a bastard for not buying them a Saleen S7 as a graduation gift if you don't always give them what they want.
I see kids that arent that rich, just middle class that act like these bastards we're talking about on MTV. usually moreso with girls than guys. why? my only guess is daddy cant say no to his little girl.
controversial or not, I think the rest of the things you do raising you're kids will have a much bigger effect on their personality than how much money you spend on them.
you cant buy them everything they want, but with the money they have, why can't they? it's their money. teach them before their 16 and these problems don't happen.
I'm not spoiled. when I was 7, I knew if I threw a fit over a candy bar, and my mom said no, to stop. how? cause I'd get my ass spanked when I got home. or if I was really bad, my dad would do it. it injected fear. fear is the ultimate form of respect. I've since nearly fought my dad too. I can take him. but I won't. because even though the fear is gone, the respect is still there. we get along fine, I'm not bitter, and I dont have mental issues. (from that)
your kid acts like an asshole? beat their ass. not with fists and hair-pulling, take a paddle or whatever, and spank them. it's the best thing you'll ever do for them. far better than just never spending money.
A kid won't think/act like they're better than everyone with less money if you teach them right. they won't act like your a bastard for not buying them a Saleen S7 as a graduation gift if you don't always give them what they want.
I see kids that arent that rich, just middle class that act like these bastards we're talking about on MTV. usually moreso with girls than guys. why? my only guess is daddy cant say no to his little girl.
controversial or not, I think the rest of the things you do raising you're kids will have a much bigger effect on their personality than how much money you spend on them.
you cant buy them everything they want, but with the money they have, why can't they? it's their money. teach them before their 16 and these problems don't happen.
I'm not spoiled. when I was 7, I knew if I threw a fit over a candy bar, and my mom said no, to stop. how? cause I'd get my ass spanked when I got home. or if I was really bad, my dad would do it. it injected fear. fear is the ultimate form of respect. I've since nearly fought my dad too. I can take him. but I won't. because even though the fear is gone, the respect is still there. we get along fine, I'm not bitter, and I dont have mental issues. (from that)
your kid acts like an asshole? beat their ass. not with fists and hair-pulling, take a paddle or whatever, and spank them. it's the best thing you'll ever do for them. far better than just never spending money.
- 21,286
- GR-MI-USA
- YSSMAN
- YSSMAN
LeadSlead#2
I completely agree with you. I used to get my ass kicked by both of my parents when I did anything wrong, and you learn quickly. These laws guarding kids even from spanking are simply insane, and I would not be surprised to see these laws and standards roll back to more of an older way of disipline when my generation takes over.
I look forward to kicking my kid's ass. It isnt a beating, its teaching them a lesson.
Danoff
Premium
- 34,118
- Mile High City
YSSMAN
It's a very limited tool. Necessary at times, but it isn't nearly as instructive as lots of people think. Kids need to understand that their parents are capable of hurting them. When they're young, that has to be done in a concrete way. But it isn't a very good tool for instruction.
Spanking a kid teaches them nothing, but that doesn't mean it isn't useful. It's about demanding respect. But once they get old enough to start to grasp abstract concepts, abstract penalties are much more effective.
That being said, I think my parents tried to use it as a tool for instruction rather than to get respect. A note from the teacher got me a spanking when I was young. But it's difficult to get a kid to associate their note with the spanking, and that's because it doesn't really make sense. Spanking is about respect. Not bad grades, or poor conduct in class. It always has to be a penalty for a young child for disrespect. Spanking, for example, is a good penalty for a kid who disobeys your instructions to fix the attitude problem that caused the note in the first place. That is something that kid can understand.
You disobey me, you get spanked.
Is a lot easier to follow than:
You screw up at school, you get spanked.
Like I said, it teaches no lessons, but it isn't useless.
Danoff
Premium
- 34,118
- Mile High City
kylehnatIt's a delayed punishment, so it is indeed difficult for a child to put those two pieces together. The punishment must occur very soon after the bad deed, or the child won't learn anything. It's the same way with pets
While that's true for very young kids, it's not what I was getting at. I was able at that age to realize that my parents were ticked at me because of the note. What I didn't understand was why spanking was an appropriate punishment for a note from school. Especially the first one. My parents had never told me that a note from school would get me a spanking. The spanking wasn't punishment for disobeying them, it was for ticking off the teacher - which didn't make sense in my mind.
I think it makes more sense to tell a kid - stop doing what this note says you're doing. Then if it happens again the child has disobeyed you directly and you need to re-establish respect.
It makes sense to me that the lesson has to be given in the form of reason first. Then when the lesson isn't heeded, respect needs to be instilled. Otherwise you risk teaching your child that violence is a form of reason or instruction, which isn't true.
- 24,344
- Midlantic Area
- GTP_Duke
Spanking thread. My views start at (about) post #32.
- 4,766
- Kansas City, KS
- FlyingAGasoline
So.. this thread is still about whether or not "rich kids" are brats, right?
I know my (most likely) soon to be step sister would give those sweet 16 girls a run for their money..
What disgusts me is the way that a little money can change people. (Well, maybe money and hormones, she's 14, and she was a pretty good kid a couple years ago) Her mom is the accountant at my dad's insurance agency. We all live normal lives like the rest of average suburbia, but when she got keen to the fact that her mom's boyfriend was well off, she totally changed. Her mom and my Dad have been going steady for the past 5 years, and they are seriously considering marriage. Jessica (Dad's girlfriend's daughter) has let the fact that My dad has money go to her head. She rubs it in her friends faces, and says **** you, I'll be getting a brand new car when I'm 16, don't talk to my ***. (Sad thing is, that's about her level of table conversation) When we're in my dad's hometown, she says "Mike says I can so shut up", like it's a badge. As if she deserves recognition for being loosely related to him.
Sorry for complaining about things here, but is there any way get her to maybe develop a better attitude towards things? She's on her way to being the girl from my sweet 16.
I know my (most likely) soon to be step sister would give those sweet 16 girls a run for their money..
What disgusts me is the way that a little money can change people. (Well, maybe money and hormones, she's 14, and she was a pretty good kid a couple years ago) Her mom is the accountant at my dad's insurance agency. We all live normal lives like the rest of average suburbia, but when she got keen to the fact that her mom's boyfriend was well off, she totally changed. Her mom and my Dad have been going steady for the past 5 years, and they are seriously considering marriage. Jessica (Dad's girlfriend's daughter) has let the fact that My dad has money go to her head. She rubs it in her friends faces, and says **** you, I'll be getting a brand new car when I'm 16, don't talk to my ***. (Sad thing is, that's about her level of table conversation) When we're in my dad's hometown, she says "Mike says I can so shut up", like it's a badge. As if she deserves recognition for being loosely related to him.
Sorry for complaining about things here, but is there any way get her to maybe develop a better attitude towards things? She's on her way to being the girl from my sweet 16.
- 19,730
- Alabamamania
My wife and I are the youngest people who show up to vote, that's for sure. No wonder the old folks give us dirty looks, we're younger and far better off than they were at our age.
As learned behavoir, I just destroyed the notes before the aprents would get them. I was pretty much a C-student in most stuff, B's in the classes I did better in or actually liked. I was very selective about which homework I felt like completing. I was mostly an angel during school hours, but a lazy son-of-a-gun once the bell rang.
Anyhow, we received allowance for doing chores; except for clothing (mostly K-mart and the thrift stores when we were younger) and food (only if we had a coupon), we had to earn things like candy and sodas, toys and games. Sure, we'd get nice gifts for appropriate occasions, but getting good grades meant going out to dinner as a family, for example. We weren't rewarded for failure to perform certain chores (unless you were really sick), and when $2.50 a week wasn't enough when I was 14, my parents told me to get a job, and work to make more to buy the things I wanted. Heck, I saved up enough to loan my parents money (they paid it back when I was 18 to buy their old car).
My parents pinched every cent to afford a more-than decent house in a quiet, mostly crime-free neighborhood, but I never thought of myself as spoiled compared to some of my classmates whom had it pretty good. And there were others that were even less well-off as I was.
This whole nonscence of the Sweet 16 is at the pinnacle of absurdity, considering it dates back to some sort of coming-of-age ceremony; young girls became women naturally already, and so the noble and aristocracy would have a ball to marry off their daughter. This changed to the "debutantte" party as the rich could select other rich kids to marry one another, keeping the Old Money with younger Old Money. Now that most of these white upper-and-middle-class Sweet Sixteen girls don't get married until they're in thier middle-20s or even 30s, it's just become an excuse to throw around some money and show off.
In any case, spoiled is quite relative; every kid should earn their keep, commensurate with their age and ability of work. Obviously, a 3-year-old is going to get spoiled either way; but I see some little kids that just seem to have way too many toys, few of which have much create or insire much in the way of imagination, never mind they don't seem to value more than half of them after a few moments.
I think of spankings as a last resort; there are punishments that hit harder to a kid such as taking away their priviledges. Hitting a 12-year-old just isn't going to work, they just wind up hating the one that hits them, and then they won't listen to anything, since the the ultimate punshiment has already been doled out. The trouble with hitting your kid is when a parent extends that form of pushiment for all behavioral issues. Hitting a kid when they ask an innocent question rather than when they display truly hateful behavoir displays nothing but the ignorance of the parent.
danoff
As learned behavoir, I just destroyed the notes before the aprents would get them. I was pretty much a C-student in most stuff, B's in the classes I did better in or actually liked. I was very selective about which homework I felt like completing. I was mostly an angel during school hours, but a lazy son-of-a-gun once the bell rang.
Anyhow, we received allowance for doing chores; except for clothing (mostly K-mart and the thrift stores when we were younger) and food (only if we had a coupon), we had to earn things like candy and sodas, toys and games. Sure, we'd get nice gifts for appropriate occasions, but getting good grades meant going out to dinner as a family, for example. We weren't rewarded for failure to perform certain chores (unless you were really sick), and when $2.50 a week wasn't enough when I was 14, my parents told me to get a job, and work to make more to buy the things I wanted. Heck, I saved up enough to loan my parents money (they paid it back when I was 18 to buy their old car).
My parents pinched every cent to afford a more-than decent house in a quiet, mostly crime-free neighborhood, but I never thought of myself as spoiled compared to some of my classmates whom had it pretty good. And there were others that were even less well-off as I was.
This whole nonscence of the Sweet 16 is at the pinnacle of absurdity, considering it dates back to some sort of coming-of-age ceremony; young girls became women naturally already, and so the noble and aristocracy would have a ball to marry off their daughter. This changed to the "debutantte" party as the rich could select other rich kids to marry one another, keeping the Old Money with younger Old Money. Now that most of these white upper-and-middle-class Sweet Sixteen girls don't get married until they're in thier middle-20s or even 30s, it's just become an excuse to throw around some money and show off.
In any case, spoiled is quite relative; every kid should earn their keep, commensurate with their age and ability of work. Obviously, a 3-year-old is going to get spoiled either way; but I see some little kids that just seem to have way too many toys, few of which have much create or insire much in the way of imagination, never mind they don't seem to value more than half of them after a few moments.
I think of spankings as a last resort; there are punishments that hit harder to a kid such as taking away their priviledges. Hitting a 12-year-old just isn't going to work, they just wind up hating the one that hits them, and then they won't listen to anything, since the the ultimate punshiment has already been doled out. The trouble with hitting your kid is when a parent extends that form of pushiment for all behavioral issues. Hitting a kid when they ask an innocent question rather than when they display truly hateful behavoir displays nothing but the ignorance of the parent.
- 6,131
- London
- SomaEightyFour
- MrVerloc
High-TestSorry for complaining about things here, but is there any way get her to maybe develop a better attitude towards things? She's on her way to being the girl from my sweet 16.
Money is the root of all evil these days. But it's pretty handy!
About that girl, maybe if you tell her you'll have to work for and allowance like you did (which I'm assuming) and get good grades etc. She'll appreciate it more and won't act like those stupid brats on that stupid show.
