Unconditional Love

[Danoff]

Do you think it exists, and if so, do you think it would be a good thing.

I am skeptical of whether it is possible for one to love "unconditionally", and if they could, I would consider it a flaw.

Discuss.

 

[Vince_Fiero]

I do think unconditional love exists.

But not convinced it works towards the best relationships.
For me there should be some rules from both sides, some things to gain and some to give. A good balance in mutual respect.

Can you consider the relationship some people have with their pet, unconditional?

 

[Duke]

I do think unconditional love exists.

But not convinced it works towards the best relationships.
For me there should be some rules from both sides, some things to gain and some to give. A good balance in mutual respect.

Agreed.

There are some people who love another person no matter what, no matter how, no matter. They are afraid to change, maybe, and prefer the pain of poor conditions to the pain of having to be self-fulfilling? I don't know.

I will love my wife no matter what happens to her outside of her control. To that extent, I love her unconditionally. But if she decides to change radically and begins to treat me or our kids badly, that love could end. And yes, "decides" can include the influence of drugs or alcohol, which are choices.

With your kids that love is a little more automatic and a little more unconditional, but that also does not mean it is completely indestructible, either.

 

[Danoff]

Comeon guys, I know somebody out there thinks unconditional love exists and is good. I hear people say this enough to know that statistically one of you must agree. Do you have unconditional love for God?

 

[Joel]

I have unconditional love for your mother.

But seriously, bringing it back to the God thing, if God exists (I don't think he does), does he really love us unconditionally? I mean, he sends us to hell. Here's an analogy. Let's relate God's love for his "children", to your own love for your own children. Is there ANYTHING that your kids could do, including not loving you back, that would make you lock them in the basement and torture them (hell)? For all of eternity?

 

[CTznOfTime]

Following "Noob616" logic:

...Since God does not exist (contrarily to most beliefs), & God is actually a creation of the human mind, and because we have proven above that even God's love is not unconditional, therefore by extension, Man's (and the women too) love for one another is not unconditional...

Only the love of a Parent toward/for his/her child (pet) is unconditional...

Every other relationship cannot be unconditional...

 

[Dotini]

If current reports from BBC and CNN are to be believed, the long-suffering Haitians have shown a remarkably unconditionally love of their God (Catholic with a dash of voodoo).

Respectfully submitted,
Dotini

 

[CarBastard]

I have unconditional love for life. In my view, love is the engine of most things done by humans that can be considered good. You do what you want, because you love it and you won't let anything keep you from reaching it. Love is a mean, not an end. You work for your family, because you love them. You fix that rusty bucket in your garage because you love driving. You live because you love it. Maybe, on a man/woman basis it exists as well, but I wouldn't get my hopes high in this times of debauchery.

What can I say...I'm one of those romantics still alive .

 

[Joel]

@ CTznOfTime

I don't believe in God. I was just wondering for the religious people, Is God's love to us unconditional.

 

[CarBastard]

@ CTznOfTime

I don't believe in God. I was just wondering for the religious people, Is God's love to us unconditional.

Catholic god? Nope, he hates each and everyone of us that dares to use our minds to defy those who call themselves his representatives.

 

[CTznOfTime]

@ CTznOfTime

I don't believe in God. I was just wondering for the religious people, Is God's love to us unconditional.

I am Catholic maybe not the best preacher...


but I do agree with you "CAR Bastard" at least ! 👍

 

[niky]

Unconditional love does exist. I think it's been shown to be a form of insanity.

The problem with unconditional love is that it requires a form of self-rejection or self-hate in order to work. And that's just not right.

That said, I'd like to think that our love in our marriage is unconditional... ideally... but accept the fact that it's not. We don't put up with guff from each other that we don't like. But at the end of the day, we make the conscious decision to pull together and put it behind us.

 

[Joel]

Ahh, CTznOfTIme, I wasn't trying to say that parents love for their children is unconditional. I was trying to say that for a God who supposedly does love us unconditionally, he sure does pull a dick move with hell. Of course, there's parents that don't love their children, but do they lock them in the basement and torture them (hell)?

 

[wfooshee]

Unconditional love definitely exists.

Put your dog and your wife in the trunk of the car, which will be all over you with adoration when you let them out?

 

[Exorcet]

I don't think it exists. There may be instances of strong affection that resemble it, but I don't think it will truly ever be seen. And this is a good thing, unconditional love is not needed and is not helpful. There is a time for love and a time for hate, and at all times, a person must act on reason.

 

[Wenders]

As a mum, I will have to say that it does exist. It exists for me. My kids may annoy the crap out of me sometimes. There are times I would love to throttle them but I always love them and can't think of a thing they could do to change that.
(this doesn't mean you can get out of unpacking the dishwasher Jack )

 

[TheCracker]

As a mum, I will have to say that it does exist. It exists for me. My kids may annoy the crap out of me sometimes. There are times I would love to throttle them but I always love them and can't think of a thing they could do to change that.
(this doesn't mean you can get out of unpacking the dishwasher Jack )

^ This. And this v (but that's a little bit different )

Unconditional love definitely exists.

Put your dog and your wife in the trunk of the car, which will be all over you with adoration when you let them out?

I don't believe you can have 'Unconditional Love' with someone you've fallen in love with. They can always do something to you that can make those feelings alter. You may think that you still love someone whose broken your heart, but it's not really love, it's emotional infatuation.

I think the only true 'Unconditional Love' can be between a parent and child (and not necessarily reciprocal) and probably only really between mother and child.

Family love and romantic love are really different emotions. One is loving someone for what they are and the other is for who they are.

 

[Blitz187]

I think unconditional love does exist... But only to a certain extent. There are exceptions though... As Wenders pointed out, a mother loving her child unconditionally is considered pretty normal in my perspective. My mother is the same, even though I put her through so much crap in my teen years she still loves me just as much as the day I was born....

I believe unconditional love only TRUELY exists in pets. Dogs or cats (also to a certain extent though , having 2 at home I think they like food more then me sometimes). In my experience unconditional love is very evident in pets like dogs and cats...

Edit: I see the Cracker also mentioned something about mother/child relationships... getting tree'd all over....

 

[TheCracker]

Dogs love their owners. Cats put up with their owners.

 

[Blitz187]

Dogs love their owners. Cats put up with their owners.

Now that you mention it, this does make a lot of sense if I think about it Although the two cats I have are very social and like attention, but thats drifting off topic, so I'll leave it at that 👍

 

[Public'sTwin]

I think it exists in the form of remnant biologically advantageous impulses which were instrumental in the early survival of our species.

Today it's largely moot, but nice.

 

[mafia_boy]

I feel that it exists for SOME people. I have unconditional love for my son and would never take 1% that love away from him in any way, shape or form!! He's my boy, my first born child and my little terrorising monster all rolled into one!!

But some parents are just stupid and take advantage, abuse and neglect their kids and don't deserve to be parents at all because they are such horrific people that cause irreparable damage to their own flesh and blood. 👎

 

[Duke]

Dogs love their owners. Cats put up with their owners.

I wish my cats just put up with me. I have to kick the damn things out of the way just to sit down, and then they jump in my lap. And one of them weighs 27 pounds! They stow away under the dresser until I fall asleep and then sneak into bed. Try getting woken up at 3am with an XCU view of a purring cat that wants to be petted.

Anybody who thinks cats are aloof hasn't really had a cat.

 

[Danoff]

As a mum, I will have to say that it does exist. It exists for me. My kids may annoy the crap out of me sometimes. There are times I would love to throttle them but I always love them and can't think of a thing they could do to change that.

You're probably not the right person to have this discussion with given who might be reading it - but I'll try anyway.

Suppose your kid turned out to be a pedophile-murderer. Still love him? Because if not, that's a condition.

 

[Dotini]

I think it exists in the form of remnant biologically advantageous impulses which were instrumental in the early survival of our species.

Today it's largely moot, but nice.

I think Public's Twin is spot-on correct with this statement.

I'll go a little farther and hazard that unconditional love is/was the natural condition of the nuclear family, and possibly even of the extended family, clan or tribe.

Today, the nuclear family is in steep decline and break-up in our society. Divorce is the rule, not the exception. Nihilism, drugs, pornography, gambling and alcoholism are rampant. People are alienated from one another, and unconditional love has little chance to blossom. The first major hammer blow was the removal of the father from the full-time company of his family by the requirements of the industrial revolution to work long hours and 6 days a week at a distant factory. The most recent hammer blow was the removal of the mother from the full-time support of her family by the feminine liberation movement of the 70's. This had a number of good objectives but it took women fully into the labor market and away from their children, with effects less than salutary. Today both parents are required to work to afford the average mortgage. So the system is geared toward ever greater destruction of the family and further alienation of children from their parents. Unconditional love has little or no chance in the current state of civilization. This may be inevitable, but also regrettable.

Respectfully submitted,
Dotini

 

[Exorcet]

Unconditional love has little or no chance in the current state of civilization. This may be inevitable, but also regrettable.

Respectfully submitted,
Dotini

I beg to differ, families may not be together 24/7, but there are plenty of opportunities to bond. Family life has been less than smooth for me for a number of reasons, but that hasn't stopped me from developing good relationships with those that I can count on. Likewise, my friends don't seem to be detached from family, though issues exist here and there. I'd hate to find that I and those around me are a minority, but it is a possibility.

 

[Danoff]

I'll go a little farther and hazard that unconditional love is/was the natural condition of the nuclear family, and possibly even of the extended family, clan or tribe.

Really? Unconditional? Or are there/were there tons of conditions. I'll hazard a guess that the moment you broke the tribe's rules you were ostracized. I'm not sure any nuclear families could survive all of the sorts of horrible things people are capable of.

My point is that I'm not sure that it's possible, and it certainly shouldn't be considered a GOOD thing, to love someone regardless of how monstrous their actions.

 

[Dotini]

I beg to differ, families may not be together 24/7, but there are plenty of opportunities to bond. Family life has been less than smooth for me for a number of reasons, but that hasn't stopped me from developing good relationships with those that I can count on. Likewise, my friends don't seem to be detached from family, though issues exist here and there. I'd hate to find that I and those around me are a minority, but it is a possibility.

You have a good, positive attitude which I admire, Exorcet. I'll retract that part about "no chance"!

Best of wishes,
Dotini

Really? Unconditional? Or are there/were there tons of conditions. I'll hazard a guess that the moment you broke the tribe's rules you were ostracized. I'm not sure any nuclear families could survive all of the sorts of horrible things people are capable of.

My point is that I'm not sure that it's possible, and it certainly shouldn't be considered a GOOD thing, to love someone regardless of how monstrous their actions.

Dear Danoff,
You and I have got off on the wrong foot, and it's totally unwise for me to debate or in any way lock horns with you. I'm sure your points may have some merit, and that there are those who may be inclined to debate them. For now, I'm not.

Respectfully yours,
Dotini

 

[CraftyLandShark]

My point is that I'm not sure that it's possible, and it certainly shouldn't be considered a GOOD thing, to love someone regardless of how monstrous their actions.

Agreed. Proper, healthy "eros", or romantic love, can't be unconditional. We have, however, identified "unconditional" eros love, or at least what its participants would call love, and it ain't pretty.

It's called codependence.

 

[Duke]

Today, the nuclear family is in steep decline and break-up in our society. Divorce is the rule, not the exception. Nihilism, drugs, pornography, gambling and alcoholism are rampant. People are alienated from one another, and unconditional love has little chance to blossom. The first major hammer blow was the removal of the father from the full-time company of his family by the requirements of the industrial revolution to work long hours and 6 days a week at a distant factory. The most recent hammer blow was the removal of the mother from the full-time support of her family by the feminine liberation movement of the 70's. This had a number of good objectives but it took women fully into the labor market and away from their children, with effects less than salutary. Today both parents are required to work to afford the average mortgage. So the system is geared toward ever greater destruction of the family and further alienation of children from their parents. Unconditional love has little or no chance in the current state of civilization. This may be inevitable, but also regrettable.

I'm going to respectfully but almost comprehensively disagree with these statements.