After careful consideration I realized that my first track has to be a penis. It's sounds childish, but I think it has potential.
You start on a long straight, then hairpin turn left, followed by a hairpin turn right into a long banked right curve into a hairpin turn right into a hairpin turn left onto the second straight, which leads to a 3 quarter loop banking curve into a hairpin turn left into another 3 quarter loop banking curve, finally leading to the original straight and starting/finishing line.
Length of straight obviously depends on location of track.