Bad Lyrics!Music

Danny · Jul 22, 2008

Following a recent poll by musicmagpie.com to find the worst lyrics written (listed below), I wondered if you guys have any more that could have made the cut?

1. I’m serious as cancer, when I say rhythm is a dancer – Rhythm Is A Dancer, SNAP!
2. I don’t want to see a ghost, it’s a sight that I fear the most, I’d rather have a piece of toast, watch the evening news – Life, DES’REE
3. Is that yo ass, or yo mama half reindeer? – Shake Ya Tailfeather, NELLY, P DIDDY & MURPHY LEE
4. He was a boy, she was a girl. Can I make it any more obvious? – Sk8er Boi, AVRIL LAVIGNE

5. I love you like a fat kid love cake – 21 Questions, 50 CENT
6. Time is like a clock in my heart – Time (Clock Of The Heart), CULTURE CLUB
7. You got a Prada bag with a lotta stuff in it – Gettin’ Jiggy Wit It, WILL SMITH
8. Lucky that my breasts are small and humble, so you don’t confuse them with mountains – Whenever, Wherever, SHAKIRA
9. She had dumps like a truck, truck, truck – Thong Song, SISQO
10. Only time will tell if we stand the test of time – Why Can’t This Be Love, VAN HALEN

Another I think should have been a contender:

Kate Nash
I use mouthwash, sometimes I floss, I've got a family, and I drink cups of tea

[/LEFT]

Speedy Samurai · Jul 22, 2008

I'm livin' large, and takin' charge.
Gonna park you like a car in your momma's garage.

-White Cross (Holy War)

Touring Mars · Jul 22, 2008

I hate to do this to one of my favourite artists, but George, you've been rumbled mate...

George Harrison - Crackerbox Palace (from "33 1/3", 1976)

"I was so young when I was born"...

Wouldn't be so bad, but it's the opening line in the song :ill:

Lennon & MacCartney do not escape either...

The Beatles - Baby, You're A Rich Man (from "Magical Mystery Tour", 1967)

"You keep all your money in a big brown bag inside a zoo, what a thing to do!"

The rest of the lyric is just as crappy, as is that whole song in general.

ExigeEvan · Jul 22, 2008

8. Lucky that my breasts are small and humble, so you don’t confuse them with mountains – Whenever, Wherever, SHAKIRA

GREATEST LINE EVER!

Personally I nominate the entirity of "Best of You" by the Foo Fighters. Simply because for the most of it there is only one line.

prisonermonkeys · Jul 22, 2008

ExigeEvan
GREATEST LINE EVER!

I'll second that; it makes me crack up every time I hear it.

ExigeEvan
GREATEST LINE EVER!Personally I nominate the entirity of "Best of You" by the Foo Fighters. Simply because for the most of it there is only one line.

How about Feel Good Hit of the Summer by Queens of the Stone Age: Nicotine, valium, vicodin, marijuana, ecstacy and alcohol on repeat until you get to the chorus, which is a simple C-c-c-cocaine!

There's actually a story behind the song; the band is big on playing music fr the sake of playing music, and pretty much all the drugs mentioned at one time or another have been the "feel good hit of the summer" because they've been the latest designer drugs or whatever. It's meant to be very ironic and in keeping with front man Josh Homme's sense of humour rather than being a song about drug use.

Barracuda · Jul 22, 2008

Anything from DJ Scooter

"Tie your shoes!"

exigeracer · Jul 22, 2008

To the left
To the left

Mmmm to the left
Everything you own in the box to the left

---

Whaaaaaaaaaat TF

Diego440 · Jul 22, 2008

"Take off your shirts and wait for further instructions
starting the microphone business I got one message for the next decay
Move your ass!"
-- Scooter - Move your Ass

"Generals gather in their masses, Just like witches at black masses"
-- Black Sabbath - War Pigs
(Seriously, rhyming "masses" with "masses" is as low as they could go with the whole creative thing)

"Relentless lus of rotting flesh / to thrash the tomb she lies / Heathen whore of Satan's wrath / I Spit at your demise"
-- Slayer - Necrophiliac

"Now you're amazed by the VIP posse / Steppin' so hard, like a German Nazi"
-- Vanilla Ice - Play That Funky Music

"Young, black and famous / With money hangin' out the anus"
-- Puff Daddy - Can't Nobody Hold me Down

"Coast to Coast / L.A. to Chicago"
-- Sade - Smooth Operator

Danny · Jul 22, 2008

exigeracer
To the left
To the left

Mmmm to the left
Everything you own in the box to the left

---

Whaaaaaaaaaat TF

Allow me to translate.

Westerly from your current aspect
Westerly from your current aspect

Indeed, westerly from your current aspect
The entirety of your possesions in the allocated recepticle to your west.

CDailey · Jul 22, 2008

Pendulum - The Tempest

I know that I can help you
I just don't ****ing want to

turboash78 · Jul 22, 2008

Any hip-hop song now-a-days could fill up that list in a heartbeat!

SolidSnake15 · Jul 22, 2008

The entirety of Solja Boy (however you spell it) should be at the top of that list. It's so damn retarded I nearly die whenever people around me listen to it.

EDIT: It's also too repetitive.

Touring Mars · Jul 22, 2008

Tom Servo
"Generals gather in their masses, Just like witches at black masses"
-- Black Sabbath - War Pigs
(Seriously, rhyming "masses" with "masses" is as low as they could go with the whole creative thing)

Just goes to show even a great song can have a dodgy line... I never really realised that before, so yeh, thanks for ruining it for me!

Sage · Jul 22, 2008

I have a hard time remembering lyrics, so I can’t contribute anything myself, but here are a couple courtesy of Penn Jillette, who devoted several hours to ranting about these:

But in this ever changing world in which we live in
– Paul MCartney, Live and Let Die
(Way too many “in”s.)

There were plants and birds and rocks and things
– America, A Horse With No Name
(THINGS? That’s all they could come up with?!)

He’s a complicated man
But no one understands him but his woman
JOHN SHAFT!
– Isaac Hayes, Theme from Shaft
(Why is the “But” in there? Being complicated is not independent of no one understanding him but his woman – in fact, just the opposite. He’s a complicated man, ergo no ones understands him but his woman. And not only that, but putting “JOHN SHAFT!” right after “woman” makes him sound like he’s with a woman named John.)

Touring Mars · Jul 22, 2008

Sage
There were plants and birds and rocks and things
– America, A Horse With No Name
(THINGS? That’s all they could come up with?!)

That's got to be the worst song lyric of all time, it's a real classic!

I've thought of another one... The Waterboys, from their best album, "Fisherman's Blues", had a song called "Has Anybody Here Seen Hank?"... with each verse straining desperately to provide a rhyme for the final line in each verse, "Has Anybody Here Seen Hank?"

One verse is especially rubbish:

Well he's sure to be wearing a Stetson
he's as long and as thin as a plank
He's got a fistful of charm
and a gun beneath his arm
Has anybody here seen Hank?

Amazingly, they manage to avoid atleast one obvious rhyme

Well I guess he is up in his bedroom
And he's probably having a nap...

Barracuda · Jul 23, 2008

Pretty much all of I am the Walrus, though it was purposely written that way.

"Sitting on a cornflake, waiting for the van to come"

"I am the egg man, I am the Walrus, coo coo ka choo"

etc

EDIT: Actually, I wouldn't necessarily call them bad lyrics because they're not. Yes they don't make sense but they work quite well.

prisonermonkeys · Jul 23, 2008

Pretty much anything by Simple Plan or any other emo band. Welcome to My Life is a personal favourite in this respect:

To be hurt, to feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No, you don't know what it's like ...
Welcome to my life

Thanks, Pierre! I suppose you haven't stopped to consider people with alcoholic or drug-addicted relatives, rape victims, people suffering cancer, AIDS, MS, cistic fibrosis or any other terminal or degenerative disease, Darfur, the vast numbers of people persecuted for their religion, race or ethnicity or Tibet. I'm pretty sure they'd not only have some idea of how you supposedly feel, they'd surpass you. But they're not the ones exploiting twelve- and thirteen-year-olds by writing songs about it that the little pains in the proverbials instantly like because it connects with them and how they have it so tough in the world ...

Danny · Jul 23, 2008

I realise I may get flak for this, but...

So, so you think you can tell Heaven from Hell,
blue skies from pain.

Merely because I dislike run-on lines within songs.

Solid Lifters · Jul 23, 2008

"Gonna head out to the country, gonna eat me a lot of peaches" The Presidents of the United States of America

"Your Body is a Wonderland" John Mayer (Thank Pete he's often ridiculed on the street for this stupid lyric!)

"Step back like a pimp, slap the ho." Nameless Rap Idiot

"I can double my density, from 360 to 720 degrees." Canibus

"All you bad, bad boys, call her up on the 'Spank Line' so call 1-900-SPANK!" Van Halen

"I'm not aware of too many things
I know what I know if you know what I mean"

"What I am is what I am are you what you are or what
What I am is what I am are you what you are or what
What I am is what I am are you what you are or what you are
What I am is what I am are you what you are or what"

"Da da da da
I say I say I say I do hey hey hey hey hey hey" Edie Brickell & New Bohemians

"He bounced right up to me, but before we could be introduced. He blew up very suddenly. I guess his name was probably 'Bruce.'"

"And it rained. Like a slow divorce. And I wish, I could ride a horse." Robyn Hitchcock & The Egyptians

These are pretty bad, but not nearly as horrible as lyrics from the two worst offenders of all time, The Doors and REM. They both suck so bad, I don't want to bother posting them!

exigeracer · Jul 23, 2008

Solid Lifters
These are pretty bad, but not nearly as horrible as lyrics from the two worst offenders of all time, The Doors and REM. They both suck so bad, I don't want to bother posting them!

Shinyyyyyyyyyy happy people holding hands!!!

Hahaha at least Stype's admitted that song is the biggest regret of his life.

Touring Mars · Jul 23, 2008

Solid Lifters
Robyn Hitchcock & The Egyptians

I'm with you on all but this one... Robyn Hitchcock is totally insane, and therefore every lyric he writes is a random mixture of genius and nonsense...

TB · Jul 23, 2008

"Your butt is mine"
Michael Jackson's 'Bad'
Wrong. On so many levels.

"Like a rock
Chargin' from the gate"
Bob Seger and Silver Bullet Band's 'Like a Rock'
Look out for the charging rocks!

"You so crazy
I think I wanna have your baby"
Salt-N-Pepa's 'Whatta Man'
Have a baby with a crazy man. Nothing bad can come from that.

"I would do anything for love
But I won't do that"
Meatloaf's 'I'd Do Anything for Love'
Apparently you won't do anything, then.

superberkut · Jul 23, 2008

-Close shop and I do my count
Hide the rest of the yams in my auntie house

-Patty cake, patty cake, microwave

-Wrap it up in the club, yeah I'm so crazy
These other rappers actors like Patrick Swayze

-Young Jeezy (feat. Mannie Fresh), "And Then What"

Sage · Jul 23, 2008

Solid Lifters
"I can double my density, from 360 to 720 degrees." Canibus

That’s appalling! Oh, I can triple my volume from 333 to 999 joules.

Pupik · Jul 23, 2008

"I remember it well, like the day I was born"
Pocket Porn by Renegade Soundwave

(Is that possible without an audit?)

Sage
That’s appalling! Oh, I can triple my volume from 333 to 999 joules.

That's 105% in steradians; don't trust rappers with scientificial informationz, unless they wear white lab coats.

Solid Lifters
"Step back like a pimp, slap the ho." Nameless Rap Idiot

That would be [wikipedia]Eazy-E[/wikipedia]. (OE800 was his brand.)

sLg · Jul 24, 2008

Shut up about Eazy. And it's reach back. Instead, look at actual rap idiots.
Six Reasons--Tat'2d Up
''She say she love me cause I'm tattooed up [x4]
She say I look, like a colorin book[x4]
She ain't never seen me naked cause I'm tattooed up"

Fail.

Ardius · Jul 24, 2008

"Once he built missiles a nation's defence
Now he can't even give birthday presents"
-Iron Maiden, "Man on the Edge"

Although it sounds like a really cheesy lyric the first time you hear it, once you understand what the song is actually about it makes more sense and doesnt seem as bad. But still :lol:

If anyone's wondering, the song is about the film "Falling Down".

Touring Mars · Jul 24, 2008

TB
"Your butt is mine"
Michael Jackson's 'Bad'
Wrong. On so many levels.

TB
"I would do anything for love
But I won't do that"
Meatloaf's 'I'd Do Anything for Love'
Apparently you won't do anything, then.

I was going to post this one too...

But anyway, I'll see your Meat Loaf, and raise you an Adam Ant...

Apollo 9 :ill:

Hey hey what do you say?
Had me a woman she ran away
Warned me one time, warned me twice
Found me out and it weren't too nice.

Hey hey what do you say?
Had me a woman she ran away
Can the chatter, bye-bye dear
Carved me a crimson career.

CHORUS:
Well whoopsin-a whoopsin (dress it up)
Jan jan jammering (dress it up, dress it up)
Yabba-yabba-ding-ding (dress it up)
Delta hey max nine

We will be fine - Apollo 9
Even though NASA say way out of line
(Out of line)

Hey hey what do you say?
Had me a woman she flew away
Climbed onto the nearest star
Miss her lots, but there you are.

Hey hey what do you say?
Choochalaben dollaley
You can run, you wont get far
A-leyber in your Capella.

Hey hey what do you say?
Blast off time, I'm please to say
Write a letter, be home soon
Busy lassooing the moon.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SD9JHA9QYm0

TB · Jul 24, 2008

Yikes. I'll second the :ill:

.

With lyrics like that, I'd run away, too.

F1KimiFreak · Jul 24, 2008

This one does it for me ... :crazy:

Danachronism
2. I dont want to see a ghost, its a sight that I fear the most, Id rather have a piece of toast, watch the evening news Life, DESREE

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