The Single, Most Retarded, Absurd and Stupid Article EVAH Written!

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Paris Hilton praises her debut album

08/21/2006 6:14 PM, AP


Paris Hilton is no stranger to self-promotion. But when she asked DJs to play songs from her upcoming debut album, "Paris," last spring, she wasn't so confident.

"People go crazy," the 25-year-old socialite/reality TV star/singer says in an interview in the September issue of Blender, on newsstands Tuesday. "They love it. Everyone's like, `Who is this?' I don't tell. Because I don't want someone putting their phone up and recording it and making a ring tone off of it.

"I think when people don't know it's me, they won't judge it. But if they know it's me, then they'll be like, `Ugh.' They won't even dance."

"Paris" the album was set for release Tuesday. Hilton's breathy, reggae-infused single, "Stars Are Blind," has climbed to the top of Billboard's dance music chart.

Of her album, she says, "I, like, cry, when I listen to it, it's so good."

Hilton posed for Blender's cover and inside pages wearing lingerie; in one photo, she wears a pink bra, black fishnet stockings and gold platform heels.

She says the baby voice she uses on the reality TV show "The Simple Life" is an act.

"I'm always playing a character," she tells the magazine. "I don't talk like this really — like a baby. I don't act like myself in public, because I don't really want to show everyone the real me. Because I have no privacy whatsoever, the only thing I have is who I really am."
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alright, so she praises her own album? I'm sure that isn't biased at all. She cries when she listens to it? I'm sure I would too.

Damn, with all the great bands that are out there who are almost killing to get a record contract and here comes miss goody two shoes, who can't even sing, act or do anything other than whore around, and she gets a multi-million dollar contract...

Can you say 'Glitter'?
 
OMG LIEK U PPL LIKE TOLY DUNT UDRSTND HER!

She may not be able to sing but she's still made a song that sticks in your head :banghead:

Diego440
alright, so she praises her own album? I'm sure that isn't biased at all. She cries when she listens to it? I'm sure I would too.

Damn, with all the great bands that are out there who are almost killing to get a record contract and here comes miss goody two shoes, who can't even sing, act or do anything other than whore around, and she gets a multi-million dollar contract...

Can you say 'Glitter'?
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There are loads of great bands out there dying for a contract but how many of them would actually get signed by the same people that signed Paris Hilton? You can't exactly go out looking for the next big rock/punk/metal band and end up signing Paris Hilton, can you?
 
So, you've realised that the music industry is an inequitable land where anyone with a recognisable face can get a record deal whilst really genuinely talented people are forced to busk for a living? Excellent.

Paris Hilton is the living embodiment of a vacuum to me. She's utterly without quality.
 
:ouch: There is such a thing as having pride in your work, but that just makes me wince - I don't know whether to laugh out loud or bury my head in my hands. I remember Jon Anderson of Yes once describing their 1977 song 'Awaken' as the best piece of music that they had ever done, but he slightly misworded it and seemed to suggest that it was hardly possible for anybody to do any better.... the way it came across sounded ever so slightly big-headed, although in actual fact I happen to think that he was right :sly: Sir Paul MacCartney also (retrospectively) said something similar about The Beatles' Sgt. Pepper album - in response to criticism levelled at the band that they were 'taking too long' to make their next album after 'Revolver', MacCartney said something along the lines of 'just you wait and see what we're doing, then you'll all shut up!'... again, his pride/big-headedness was pretty much justified... but Paris Hilton? :):sly::D:lol::rolleyes: She's havin' a laugh, ain't she?

How much funnier would it have been if they had called her 'Glasgow' instead of Paris? :D
 
I tell you one thing, if you listen to the song with no prior knowledge of it, youd never guess it was her who sung it. I must say its suprisingly better than i thought. While the lyrics arnt the best her voice is not that bad
 
Small_Fryz
I tell you one thing, if you listen to the song with no prior knowledge of it, youd never guess it was her who sung it. I must say its suprisingly better than i thought. While the lyrics arnt the best her voice is not that bad
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You surely earned that Quality Post badge Fryz !... Very good...
 
Small_Fryz
While the lyrics arnt the best her voice is not that bad
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And I'm quite sure that its not the result of many hour of production in a state of the art recording studio.

Many of the 'artists' that make up the current charts would and do struggle to re-create the same voice when forced to sing live.

Lets hear her sing it live, and yes I would listen once just to see if she could sing.

Of course it could just be another Milli Vanilli, now who remembers them.

LOL

Scaff
 
I don't really see what's so absurd or stupid about the article?

She comments on the unexpected success of her first single and the fact that people don't recognize it's her singing. The she says she doesn't reveal it's her because she wants people to evaluate the music on its own merit instead of their own preconceived notions about her.

I read the next part to mean 'she is really happy she was with the finished product and it's as good as any other pop album out there'. I guess others will interpret it differently.

The author tells us what she posed in for a magazine spread.

She reveals she's playing a character (an exaggeration based on herself) in The Simple Life.



You're surprised that she likes and is promoting her record? Why shouldn't she? Who, in their right mind, would put out their debut album then go on a promo-tour and say
"Boy it didn't really come out the way I wanted. Well below my expectations. This entire album is really bad. It makes my ears bleed when I listed to it."

I think it's unfair to blame her for signing a record deal (or more accurately, getting her own label. Heiress Records - Warner Brothers). Nor does her having a deal preclude you or I or anyone else from getting one. It's not as though there are some finite number of contracts this year and her having one means that band X now will never get one.

The record 'Stars are Blind' isn't bad, it's a lively fun summer pop song. What more could you ask for or expect? It was produced by the same guy who did almost all of Enrique Iglesias' hits and worked with Ricky Martin and Ashlee Simpson.

I'm sure the rest of the album is the same. Slick production, good pop songwriters, with songs written well within her vocal range. In other words, the exact same as the other artists in the genre.
 
Scaff
Of course it could just be another Milli Vanilli, now who remembers them.
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:ill: ....or Boney M... ever wonder why male 'vocalist' Bobby (from the West Indies) had a German accent when he 'sang'? :crazy:

Not having heard the song/album, I can't comment on what Paris Hilton sounds like - but that isn't the point.... the point is that her high opinion of herself is almost certainly misplaced. Basically, given the technology available these days, record producers can make just about anybody sound good, whether they have much talent or not...
 
dbartucci
I think it's unfair to blame her for signing a record deal (or more accurately, getting her own label. Heiress Records - Warner Brothers). Nor does her having a deal preclude you or I or anyone else from getting one. It's not as though there are some finite number of contracts this year and her having one means that band X now will never get one.

The record 'Stars are Blind' isn't bad, it's a lively fun summer pop song. What more could you ask for or expect? It was produced by the same guy who did almost all of Enrique Iglesias' hits and worked with Ricky Martin and Ashlee Simpson.

I'm sure the rest of the album is the same. Slick production, good pop songwriters, with songs written well within her vocal range. In other words, the exact same as the other artists in the genre.
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I think it's an indictment on the industry that vacuous no-mark like her can get all this promotion and exposure when other artists are unable to secure any of the industry's promotional budget even though they are creatively much more interesting. The music industry is all about marketing and promotion, and the quality of the music is (in the mainstream at least) a very distant second. This isn't a failing in Hilton, it's a failing in the industry. After all, it's not exactly Hilton's fault that she's a vacuous no-mark.

I just really resent that she's so apparent.

As for the single itself (I have not heard the rest of the album), it's as devoid of originality as Hilton herself. Really, it's just bland lyrics pasted over a blatant rip-off of UB40's Kingston Town (of which, incidentally, Hilton claims not to have heard in every single radio interview she does). Talk about least-possible-effort, this embodies it. And dbartucci quoting the CVs of the producers as including Enrique Iglesias, Ricky Martin and Ashlee Simpson, weakens, rather than strengthens, your argument, since these artists too have been sold on their marketability rather than their creative qualities.

I suppose it's all fine for the pre-teen market, which is obsessed with its emergent sexuality and doesn't know any better.
 
It's just one mrore step in Hilton's shallow personality. And it's a reflection of pop-culture and the negative impact it has on teens nowadays, where all you need is a pretty face to make money. Gone are the good voices (live and studio), brains and overall showmanship that some artists had naturally. In comes the marketing of a star as a product.

The fact that Hilton herself is as shallow as they come, who aside from having a truckload of cash isn't really pretty (make up does wonders), talented, good at acting, good at singing or smart does nothing to help her point.
 
Quick question. Do you think it is a good thing that she is making some income independant from her family fortune (though no doub funded by) or should she step out of the limelight but live off the family fortune?
 
She would be nothing without that family fortune in the first place. She's only famous because of her last name. She wouldn't have the modelling, TV, or music contracts if she weren't a Hilton.
 
kylehnat
She would be nothing without that family fortune in the first place. She's only famous because of her last name. She wouldn't have the modelling, TV, or music contracts if she weren't a Hilton.
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I don't think anyone can dispute that.
 
I agree that the recording industry, for the most part, favours promotion and marketability over genuine talent, but the two are not mutually exclusive. However, rather than an indictment of the industry, I think it's a comment about the popularity of certain genres to the public, in particular those most likely to purchase music (cds or online). If you assume the record labels are profit maximizing, they seek to make the records and albums which will generate the best return on their investment, which is probably, but not necessarily equivalent to selling the most records. So the result is records and albums, which may not appeal to you or I, but which appeal to pre-teens and teens, who in-turn purchase the records in great numbers. How else can you explain n*Sync selling like 2,000,000 records in one week? I don't fault firms in other industries for trying to maximize profits, so I similarly don't fault the firms in this industry for trying to make the most money.

Now, you might argue that record companies dicate what's popular by their marketing/promotion, which is certainly true, but if someone doesn't enjoy listening to the music, they won't buy it, it won't get radio rotation, or airtime on video networds regardless of the sideshow antics and appeal of the performer, in which case all you've generated is a one-hit wonder, whose antics grow tiresome and the appeal wears off very quickly.

It very well may be that this album flops and her single is off-the-charts next week and it goes down as another, and I use this term very loosely, failed cross-over attempt. But Hilton wouldn't be the first and certainly won't be the last to try (Don Johnson and Eddie Murphy both had huge hits in the 80's). I don't begrudge her for her success, or fame seemingly for doing nothing but acting stupid. In the entertainment industry it seems you have to strike while the kettle is hot and make the best/most of your 15 minutes. I think that's increasingly true as people's attention spans shorten.
 
GilesGuthrie
Paris Hilton is the living embodiment of a vacuum to me. She's utterly without quality.
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Tut, tut. A vacuum is useful for sucking. Paris Hilton is not useful for anything (at least anything that should be said in a family-friendly forum; even then, I'm sure she's still quite overpriced).

People may be forced to listen to her album, but that doesn't mean they will buy it.
 
I don't get why she keeps humiliating herself. She has enough money to live off for the rest of her life. She could contribute so much more to society. She's a good looking girl, she could do charity work and help so many people. Instead she wastes her time getting drunk and performing crap songs.
 
I think Paris Hilton needs props. And respect.
Seriously.

She's a self-created star.
What? her family owns hotels? other people own hotels, but I don't see their kids running all over TV, movie theaters, and on the radio.
She took her inherited fortunes, and made herself a household name, something far beyond anything most inherently-wealthy people could ever imagine.
She used the money to act, sing, and even do porn. everybody knows Paris Hilton.
Anybody know the names of any other hotel-family's children?
Anybody know the names of any common business' owners children?

Now, add to all that, the simple fact that she's only a 7-8, (on looks), can't act, and is a very average singer. (we'll let her lack of talent displayed in other things be)

Paris Hilton has done amazing things most people only dream of, and is one of the very few, to do it in the way she has.

Now, give her props!
(no, this is not a joke)
 
LeadSlead#2
She took her inherited fortunes, and made herself a household name, something far beyond anything most inherently-wealthy people could ever imagine.
She used the money to act, sing, and even do porn. everybody knows Paris Hilton.
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Yet, she still contributes nothing to society. If she were a good singer, actress, and porn star, I'd agree with you. But she's not, so she's just a plague on the human race.
 
she's just another kid desperate for attention... only she has the money and the fame to be able to get all the attention.
 
kylehnat
LeadSlead#2
She took her inherited fortunes, and made herself a household name, something far beyond anything most inherently-wealthy people could ever imagine.
She used the money to act, sing, and even do porn. everybody knows Paris Hilton.
Click to expand...


Yet, she still contributes nothing to society. If she were a good singer, actress, and porn star, I'd agree with you. But she's not, so she's just a plague on the human race.
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Hmm, I don't really agree with this statement. There are thousands of people who aren't good at the careers they pursue, but I doubt you'd consider them plagues on society.

In any event, her lack of talent even strengthens LeadSled's argument. If she had a great talent for singing or acting than no one would be surprised if that led her to popularity. If anything, being a bad singer, bad actress, bad xyz makes her rise to fame more surprising. Consider also, that until she came along, most people didn't know the Hilton's.
 
kylehnat
Yet, she still contributes nothing to society. If she were a good singer, actress, and porn star, I'd agree with you. But she's not, so she's just a plague on the human race.
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So let me ask you this - How do YOU contribute to society ?...

Are you out there working your ass off for other people ?... Are you spending your hard earned money helping others ?... Then why should she ?.. And do we know she doesn't support the needy with 10K where the rest of us gives 10 ?... You people are hard judges indeed..

A plague ?... How so ?....
 
Flerbizky
So let me ask you this - How do YOU contribute to society ?...

Are you out there working your ass off for other people ?
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If you must know, I recently interviewed with a company in the ethanol industry. Should I get the job, I'll be working on many projects to improve consumer products. I also have an upcoming interview with a company that makes polyurethene padding for cushions, mattresses, carpet pads, etc.... If I end up working there, I'll be contributing to the comfort of everyone's behinds.

Paris Hilton not only does nothing to add to society (we would be better off never knowing who she is in the first place), she actually takes away from it. She makes us all dumber.

Her singing is admittedly not horrible, but not great. Her acting/TV shows: terrible. Her sex tape: terrible (all she has to do is look pretty, lie there, and keep her mouth shut, yet she can't do any of those for some reason).

She needs to go away, and stop poisoning the youth.
 
She has a seven-figure income from modelling, TV, and now music. I wouldn't call that money "hard-earned", but she certainly earned it "herself". Of course, the bulk of her wealth is inheritance.
 
kylehnat
If you must know, I recently interviewed with a company in the ethanol industry. Should I get the job, I'll be working on many projects to improve consumer products.
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not that this (and the other) arent fantastic contributions to society, especially the needy (aka: the ones that actually need help), but won't you be getting paid for it? I think getting paid to do something kinda dulls the charity in it, no?

sure, most of us despise everything Paris does, why should she care? would you care what you think, if you were her? I'll answer that for you. No.
And, she doesnt have to give anybody anything, she owes nothing to needy, or the poor, or the sick. nada. zip. zilch.

And I'd say she works just as hard as any other model/actor/actress(caugh)/whatever
frankly, she might have to work harder to try to make up for her lack of talent.
Are you complaining about other celebrities giving society nothing? I loath Barbra Striesand equally to Paris Hilton, so does that mean she the same sack of crap? that's right, other people like her.

So let me ask this: Does Barbera Streisand pollute our parent/grandparents minds? Does Eminem pollute the youth? how about Marilyn Manson? Celine Dion? Brad Pitt?
she's not the only vain celeb. shes not the only talentless celeb.
shes not the only inherently wealthy celeb. shes not the only combination of all 3 either. (probabley)
people hate her simply because they don't know where she came from, and they hate knowing some things came easier to her. sad. pathetic even.
and they hate that she created herself. why? who else has done what she's done?
 
I think Paris Hilton's personal wealth is always greatly exaggerated. People like to say 'Billionaire Heiress' because it sounds great, but I'm nearly certain that all that money is in the net worth of her parents/grandparents and probably in capital assets (like hotels). I've heard somewhere that the amount Paris will inherit in money is closer to 350 million. Still a ton, but much less than a billion and probably a good portion of that will be largely capital assets like homes and even hotels. In the meantime, her personal earnings last year were about 7 million.
 
But if you look at most celebs, they're famous for doing something or other, mainly because they've studied it or are naturally good at it. Like Brad Pitt studied acting and he's a good actor (won an Oscar even). Celine Dion is a good singer and I'm assuming she's gone into singing/Music classes. I'm assuming even crappy Eminem did study some form of music at one point or other.

What did Paris study? I mean, she's been famous even when she was in college age, and I don't think she's been to college. Not saying that people who don't go to college are dumb, but my point is that she is famous for nothing done by her own, other than being a heiress and acting stupid almost everywhere she goes.
 
LeadSlead#2
not that this (and the other) arent fantastic contributions to society, especially the needy (aka: the ones that actually need help), but won't you be getting paid for it? I think getting paid to do something kinda dulls the charity in it, no?
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No, it doesn't. I've chosen to to pursue a career that both contributes to society in some way, and allows me to make a living. If nobody got paid for such things, technology would stall, as nobody would want to do the dirty work for free.

Blanket statement: Anyone that has a "real" job is contributing to society, whether it be president of a country or cashier at Jack in the Box. Anyone who doesn't have a real job (actors, athletes, musicians, heirs) must be taken on a case-by-case basis. If said people are good at what they do (most actors, athletes, and musicians), then they are making a contribution by entertaining us, which improves our lives. Watching Paris Hilton do anything makes me cry, which is certainly not a decent contribution to my life.
 

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