Purple, Red, Blue, Yellow, Black, Gray, Green, Orange - 53147026
You want to be regarded as an exiting and interesting personality able to persuade others to comply with your beliefs and ideas. You are charming and able to influence other people who come into your sphere of influence. You like mental stimulation and you are the sort of person who is prepared to "try anything once". Your confidence is so much so that others are often swept away by your enthusiasm.
This is true. Read my responces and interjections here:
http://forums.gtplanet.net/showthread.php?s=&threadid=4683 . Also, I am a member of a weekly Bible study group. I do not wholey agree with what everyone there believes, and I slowly interject my opinions and thoughts to the group for them to process and derive their own conclusions. I do not necissarily want to pursuade people to 'my way of thinking', but I do enjoy sharing my opinion, thoughts, and ideas and I would like for people to hear me out. I just always thought that was human nature (:
You are willing to try anything once. You "need to be needed" and what is perhaps more important .. you "need to need." You can only feel close to a person or persons when you feel you can trust them ... but this trust needs to be proven to you..
My mom used to say that I played very well by myself - that doesn't mean that I didn't have friends, just that when I was alone I didn't complain of being 'bored' all the time ... like many of my friends were notorious for. After about age 14 this stopped being true. Since then I've always been more happy/content when -someone- was nearby. It also helps if the -someone- is somewhat dependant on my presence. At work, there are 55+ people who rely on my technical expertice in-order to get their job done. They depend on me to be available 24 hours a day, and in the office they -expect- me to be available within a 5 minute window. This all makes me very happy. I don't know that I "need to need" ... I'm not sure I know what that means ... exactly.
"Don't trust anyone" ... used to be my personal mantra. Recently I've taken up 'learning to trust' as a goal in my life. "Hey, Bryan is a pretty good guy. Maybe he deserves a little more trust from me." Maybe I got burned pretty bad when I was younger. More than a couple of my friends 'found new friends' in school, and later decided to commit suicide. That kind of tore me up. I've been on my guard ever since. And I can reflect that trust inversly. When I joined the working force, it gave me great pride to be trusted with things at work. I was working two jobs at the same time, one was a newspaper, the other was one of the World's largest data warehouses. I essentially had full access to both. That's a lot of trust ...
"Compromise" is the name of the game at this time...and it is the only way by means of which you can avoid being deprived of the love and affection you so rightly deserve...so soften up a little.. be flexible.
I bend, I flex, I nearly break in two. I GET NO LOVE! WHERE'S THE LOVE!?! She's busy with school and won't return my phone calls (both of them actually ... high school crush and friend's sister).
You are trying to prove yourself .. not only to yourself.. but also to everyone around you...There is much that you would like to say and do .. but the situation warrants self-restraint .. and that is the last thing that you have on your mind..It would seem that you have an unsatisfied need to ally yourself with others whose standards are as high as your own. You want to be different - to stand out from the crowd. This is subjecting you to considerable stress but you tend to stick to your attitudes despite lack of appreciation. Of course, you are finding the situation uncomfortable and would like nothing better but to break away from it. But you don't like the idea of compromise. Your main problem is that you are unable to resolve the situation because you continually postpone making the necessary decisions ... You feel that if you make the wrong choice this would lead to such opposition that you would not be able to command the esteem of others. It is essential that those around you are prepared to comply with your wishes and respect your opinions. Only when this compliance is established, will you feel at ease and secure.
I wouldn't necissarily say that I am trying to 'prove' myself, just that I am trying to im
prove my appearance to others, and im
prove my personal satisfaction with myself. I don't believe that other people's impression of me is the most important thing, but making a good impression is always better than making a bad one. And if I can improve upon the appearance, all the better. After all, my appearance (both physical and adituidinal) are my best witness.
There is always something I am bursting to say ... a point I'd like to prove ... an opinion I'd love to share. However, "Think before you speak" restrains me from blurting out nonsense at the drop of a hat. But ... there is the occation where I put my foot in my mouth. We've all been there I suppose. Getting that yucky rubber sole taste off your tongue is the hardest part.
I have such high standards that I have on occation allienated even my family, for whom I have the greatest respect and admiration. I desire to be with people who's standards are near mine, and can not stand to be with people who's standards are much lower than mine. The company I currently work for has some of the highest standards of anyone I've met. "The BEST people doing the BEST work for the BEST clients" - our slogan, and they mean it.
I like to be noticed, and the best way to be noticed is to be different in a possitive way. I love the rotary engine because it's different. There are only a very few production cars in the world that have rotary engines. I wish to own one for that sole purpose. Also, none of my friends or family (or family's friends ...) work in my industry. They think it is 'neat' that I do what I do, and want to know more about it anytime they're near me. Yet, work is my biggest headache right now (litterally - I've had a headache fairly consistantly for the past two years). It drives me nuts, and I love not being there. So much, in fact, that I went to part time and attempted to go back to school. I was successful for one semester ... then procrastination kicked in and I was late signing up for the next semester. Back to work. How did I get here? That's right, I can't tell these people goodbye because I enjoy being needed, and no one has ever given me that level of 'need' before. Scary how true it is ... now I need to confront my boss with these findings (:
Just a week ago I came to the conclusion that I was doing so many things in my life because other people wanted me doing them. There were so few things that I was doing for myself, and it was driving me nuts. I hessitated to tell my boss that I could not continue working at the university (I was a student worker while in school the last semester) because I was not enrolled in classes for the following semester - he was a friend and I did not want to dissapoint him. If I am not working with him, he does not hold me in as high of regards. If I am not in school, my family thinks a little less of me. If I am not working at S&W (current job) the rest of my friends question my actions. At least, that's the way I see it ...
When everyone decides to be happy with the life I am creating, I will be happy with them. Until then, they can kiss my hairy ass! (: Not currently true, but that is where I am headed. I am done making 'life choices' that for the most part are to appease the wishes of my family and friends. If I do not wish to do something, it will not be done.
You are greatly impressed by individuality and have interest in people who have outstanding qualities. You try to imitate those people that you admire and their characteristics, hoping that you will be able to display similar qualities in your own personality.
Jesus Christ. Christian - to be Christ-like. I think that speaks volumes in a very contained space. Ghandi, Budah, Mohamad ... the many phillosiphers ... Leonardo, Michaelangelo, Benjamin Franklin, Felix Wankel, Einstine (he couldn't spell either), LeVar Burton, 'Mr Wizard', Bill Nye, Dick VanDyke. Some women ... Cindy Crawford, Mary Tyler Moore, my grandmother. My grandfather - he desired to be the best, do the best, and have the best. There was no challenge to great, and yet no task to simple. Nothing could stand in his way. And yet, when the love of his life passed away, he cried for two years. He was strong, yet soft hearted. The best way to honor these people is to imitate them. To share in their ideals and morals and to share them with others is the highest praise.
~LoudMusic