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- Indiana
- ViperManiac
1. Vice City features more hilariously bad '80s references than your older brother's record collection and high-school yearbook combined. Think Michael Jacksons red leather, over-zippered jacket. Think poofy, over-hairsprayed hair. Think Phil Collins cameo on Miami Vice.
2. The main character actually opens his mouth and yaps this time. What comes out is a harsh mix of fire and bile. So instead of being some pushed-around lackey, youre playing as an ex-con with more anger than Ike Turner (or Joe Pesci).
3. Better yet, that tough-talkin, tougher-actin ex-con is voiced by silver-screen stud Ray Liotta. Do you remember him as the rags-to-riches-to-coked-up mob fink in Goodfellas?
4. You want more voices? The king and queen of excess pitch in. The king: Hall of Fame defensive end/ex-coke addict/actor (he played the gold-toothed tough in Martin Scorceses Any Given Sunday) Lawrence Taylor. The queen: porn star Jenna Jameson, whose film titles were not really allowed to print in this magazine.
5. No need to waste hours of time trying to fly the Dodo (GTA3s busted-wing airplane). In Vice City, you can climb behind the stick of the sweetest helicopter this side of Magnum P.I.
6. Right after you tune in to hear Michael Jacksons Wanna Be Startin Somethin, you can switch over to Judas Priests Youve Got Another Thing Coming. Those are just two of more than 80 80s tunes youll find by twisting the knobs on your radio.
7. Some buildings now have doors, and if you go inside those doors, youll be inside said buildings. Its not some trick or glitch. Youre supposed to go in there.
8. Vice City is roughly twice the size of that tiny little town of Liberty City. Wait, you didnt hear us right. Vice City is TWICE THE SIZE of Liberty City. You should pay attention, so we dont have to shout.
9. Remember when you were sick and tired of dealing with Salvatore in Portland but you had to wait to unlock the hijinks in Staunton Island and Shoreside Vale? No worries the time. Early rumors suggest that the whole world is at your coke-peddling fingertips from the second the game loads.
10. Theres neon. Everywhere. The entire city glows with the stuff. Think of it this way: Liberty City was dark and gritty; Vice City is hot and grimy. Ones a New York/Chicago hybrid; the other is a Miami/L.A. mix. But the real difference is that Vice Citys graphics are so bright, clean and pretty, you wont go wanna go back to wicked Liberty City.
11. A new targeting system means no more running in one direction while your twisted arm shoots in the other. The camera even helps by switching to an over-the-shoulder view, allowing you to better see the vermin youre trying to nail. Better yet, if some armed dude rushing through a crowd, youll target the crook, not the freaked-out pedestrians.
12. Yes, we said freaked-out pedestrians. Instead of wandering aimlessly while you shoot up the locals, crowds now react to the madness thats descended upon the streets of their fair city. Makes you feel kind of like youre in the living, breathing world you really wanted Liberty City to be.
13. GTA: Vice City has, get this, motorcycles. In fact, at least four types of jackable motorcycles exist here. Even better: You can dropkick a speeding motorcyclist right off his bike if youre in a hurry to commit grand-theft cycle. You can shoot from the seat once youre easy-riding, too.
14. Grand Theft Auto III featured a crapload of vehicles: the ice-cream truck, the fire truck, the Dodo, the Stinger. Vice City puts the pedal to the proverbial metal with more than twice as many cars (were talking 50 cars in GTA3 and well over 100 in VC).
15. Shootouts. We mean crouching behind cars and jumping up to pop a cap. Or you can always resort to close-quarters chop-socky if you show up at a gunfight with only your fists.
16. Your enemy is escaping, and you dont have time to dropkick some passing innocent off his moped. No worries. Just shoot out the tires. If you target the Goodyears of a getaway car, you can bust up those whitewalls.
17. Count to 40. A stupid exercise, but thats exactly how many weapons you can rifle through in the new neon city. GTA3 had only 25.
18. Tired of putting out fires and driving a taxi? How about delivering pizzas? Thats right, the side missions will feature some reckless driving to get that pizza to its rightful customer in 30 minutes or less. Dominos will be proud.
19. Instead of figuring out whos who in Rockstars newest city of sin, youll meet the antiheroes of the story in one of your first missions at a massively decadent party. While we werent cool enough to get an invite to this soiree, were guessing itll be rife with girls in sequins, mounds of blow and every crook on the peninsula.
20. Plot twists. We wont say what they are because these twists are so b*tchin that we wouldnt dare ruin them for you. Lets put it this way: The plot has more wrinkles than the cast of Golden Girls.
21. Bikinid women rollerskate (not rollerblade) around oceanside areas of the city. Yummy. If you put on your best Hawaiian shirt, they might even use that front brake to chat you up. Seriously. The bystanders have three times the amount of voice as the last game, which means you may get charmed by a lady or two.
22. Speaking of Hawaiian shirts, they arent the only fancy-schmancy duds youll tool around the city in. At parties, youll wear suits and those God-awful slip-on woven shoes that Don Johnson sported during his glory days.
23. The law-dogs recognize youre a low-life, but theres plenty of other crime in Vice City. This means the fuzz arent lying in wait for you and only you. Theyll actually bust up gang parties with the same mucho-macho gusto that Eric Estrada unleashed in C.H.I.P.s.
24. GTA3 was wild, but Vice City is both wet and wild. High-speed chases on the high seas play a much larger role in the sequel, and you can highjack some pretty quick boats. But beware: The cops have their own boats to put down pirateering. Aargh!
25. Since GTA: Vice City is happening in the 80s, a decade and a half prior to GTA3, youre going to see younger versions of the double-crossing Mafiosa you know so well from GTA3. Who? Youll seen soon enough.
And five reasons you wont
1. Senator Joseph Lieberman will personally come down your chimney, Santa-style, to confiscate you copy of GTA: Vice City.
2. Because you were so addicted to GTA3, you lost your girlfriend and your appetite, and you let your subscription to EGM run out. Nice work! Now theres even more at stake with Vice City because of its scope (its twice the size in gameplay objectives, not just physical acreage) and its 80s fashion sense. That means you better get ready to A) lose your ability to color coordinate, B) suddenly crave a pair of checkered slip-on Vans and C) request a fade at your local hair salon.
3. Vice City is only on PS2. Which, if you own a PS2, is great news. But for those who cant afford every system at EB, you better make friends with some PS2 owners quick. Maybe bring them a nice fruit basket.
4. Radio stations cant survive without a revenue stream, and that means crackpot commercials will split up tune time between Flock of Seagulls and Blondie.
5. The hidden packages, in some form or another, are back. Youll never leave the house, Mr. 100 percent.
-From November's Issue of EGM
2. The main character actually opens his mouth and yaps this time. What comes out is a harsh mix of fire and bile. So instead of being some pushed-around lackey, youre playing as an ex-con with more anger than Ike Turner (or Joe Pesci).
3. Better yet, that tough-talkin, tougher-actin ex-con is voiced by silver-screen stud Ray Liotta. Do you remember him as the rags-to-riches-to-coked-up mob fink in Goodfellas?
4. You want more voices? The king and queen of excess pitch in. The king: Hall of Fame defensive end/ex-coke addict/actor (he played the gold-toothed tough in Martin Scorceses Any Given Sunday) Lawrence Taylor. The queen: porn star Jenna Jameson, whose film titles were not really allowed to print in this magazine.
5. No need to waste hours of time trying to fly the Dodo (GTA3s busted-wing airplane). In Vice City, you can climb behind the stick of the sweetest helicopter this side of Magnum P.I.
6. Right after you tune in to hear Michael Jacksons Wanna Be Startin Somethin, you can switch over to Judas Priests Youve Got Another Thing Coming. Those are just two of more than 80 80s tunes youll find by twisting the knobs on your radio.
7. Some buildings now have doors, and if you go inside those doors, youll be inside said buildings. Its not some trick or glitch. Youre supposed to go in there.
8. Vice City is roughly twice the size of that tiny little town of Liberty City. Wait, you didnt hear us right. Vice City is TWICE THE SIZE of Liberty City. You should pay attention, so we dont have to shout.
9. Remember when you were sick and tired of dealing with Salvatore in Portland but you had to wait to unlock the hijinks in Staunton Island and Shoreside Vale? No worries the time. Early rumors suggest that the whole world is at your coke-peddling fingertips from the second the game loads.
10. Theres neon. Everywhere. The entire city glows with the stuff. Think of it this way: Liberty City was dark and gritty; Vice City is hot and grimy. Ones a New York/Chicago hybrid; the other is a Miami/L.A. mix. But the real difference is that Vice Citys graphics are so bright, clean and pretty, you wont go wanna go back to wicked Liberty City.
11. A new targeting system means no more running in one direction while your twisted arm shoots in the other. The camera even helps by switching to an over-the-shoulder view, allowing you to better see the vermin youre trying to nail. Better yet, if some armed dude rushing through a crowd, youll target the crook, not the freaked-out pedestrians.
12. Yes, we said freaked-out pedestrians. Instead of wandering aimlessly while you shoot up the locals, crowds now react to the madness thats descended upon the streets of their fair city. Makes you feel kind of like youre in the living, breathing world you really wanted Liberty City to be.
13. GTA: Vice City has, get this, motorcycles. In fact, at least four types of jackable motorcycles exist here. Even better: You can dropkick a speeding motorcyclist right off his bike if youre in a hurry to commit grand-theft cycle. You can shoot from the seat once youre easy-riding, too.
14. Grand Theft Auto III featured a crapload of vehicles: the ice-cream truck, the fire truck, the Dodo, the Stinger. Vice City puts the pedal to the proverbial metal with more than twice as many cars (were talking 50 cars in GTA3 and well over 100 in VC).
15. Shootouts. We mean crouching behind cars and jumping up to pop a cap. Or you can always resort to close-quarters chop-socky if you show up at a gunfight with only your fists.
16. Your enemy is escaping, and you dont have time to dropkick some passing innocent off his moped. No worries. Just shoot out the tires. If you target the Goodyears of a getaway car, you can bust up those whitewalls.
17. Count to 40. A stupid exercise, but thats exactly how many weapons you can rifle through in the new neon city. GTA3 had only 25.
18. Tired of putting out fires and driving a taxi? How about delivering pizzas? Thats right, the side missions will feature some reckless driving to get that pizza to its rightful customer in 30 minutes or less. Dominos will be proud.
19. Instead of figuring out whos who in Rockstars newest city of sin, youll meet the antiheroes of the story in one of your first missions at a massively decadent party. While we werent cool enough to get an invite to this soiree, were guessing itll be rife with girls in sequins, mounds of blow and every crook on the peninsula.
20. Plot twists. We wont say what they are because these twists are so b*tchin that we wouldnt dare ruin them for you. Lets put it this way: The plot has more wrinkles than the cast of Golden Girls.
21. Bikinid women rollerskate (not rollerblade) around oceanside areas of the city. Yummy. If you put on your best Hawaiian shirt, they might even use that front brake to chat you up. Seriously. The bystanders have three times the amount of voice as the last game, which means you may get charmed by a lady or two.
22. Speaking of Hawaiian shirts, they arent the only fancy-schmancy duds youll tool around the city in. At parties, youll wear suits and those God-awful slip-on woven shoes that Don Johnson sported during his glory days.
23. The law-dogs recognize youre a low-life, but theres plenty of other crime in Vice City. This means the fuzz arent lying in wait for you and only you. Theyll actually bust up gang parties with the same mucho-macho gusto that Eric Estrada unleashed in C.H.I.P.s.
24. GTA3 was wild, but Vice City is both wet and wild. High-speed chases on the high seas play a much larger role in the sequel, and you can highjack some pretty quick boats. But beware: The cops have their own boats to put down pirateering. Aargh!
25. Since GTA: Vice City is happening in the 80s, a decade and a half prior to GTA3, youre going to see younger versions of the double-crossing Mafiosa you know so well from GTA3. Who? Youll seen soon enough.
And five reasons you wont
1. Senator Joseph Lieberman will personally come down your chimney, Santa-style, to confiscate you copy of GTA: Vice City.
2. Because you were so addicted to GTA3, you lost your girlfriend and your appetite, and you let your subscription to EGM run out. Nice work! Now theres even more at stake with Vice City because of its scope (its twice the size in gameplay objectives, not just physical acreage) and its 80s fashion sense. That means you better get ready to A) lose your ability to color coordinate, B) suddenly crave a pair of checkered slip-on Vans and C) request a fade at your local hair salon.
3. Vice City is only on PS2. Which, if you own a PS2, is great news. But for those who cant afford every system at EB, you better make friends with some PS2 owners quick. Maybe bring them a nice fruit basket.
4. Radio stations cant survive without a revenue stream, and that means crackpot commercials will split up tune time between Flock of Seagulls and Blondie.
5. The hidden packages, in some form or another, are back. Youll never leave the house, Mr. 100 percent.
-From November's Issue of EGM
