Good evening readers, and many apologies for the late submission of this review. James May, or, "Captain Slow" as I'm also know, here and ready to discuss my time with the car of the week.
Upon landing in the wonderful "Land down under", I was immediately greeted by the producers with directions to the Byron Bay Horizon Festival. It was a lovely drive down the coast, and I was excited to review what I was told was a simple, red italian hatchback. I pulled up and was overjoyed as I huge fan of the Fiat 500.
However, before I even had a chance to check it out, I was directed inside the main tent to see the actual car I'd be driving and writing about for you, dear readers.
And here it is.
Yes, ladies and gents, it's a hot hatch, the Abarth 695 Biposto. Now, some of you want to know more about the flashy bits and strange bobs, such as the carbon fiber components, the plexi-glass windows, and the bright red Brembro brakes. Well, now I've told you.
I suppose I should also tell you about the Sabelt race seats matched with four point harnesses and the cargo net hanging over the scaffolding in the rear where the bench seat used to be, and well, I suppose I just did.
As I'm sure you all know, I'm not a fan of these, track inspired, Nürburgring tuned sporty versions of normal, sane, sensible cars. So with that said, I decided to continue my employ here, fall into the tightly bolstered seats and fire up the a-little-too-loud engine and head out to do a road test.
I decided to stop once we got outside to get a better look at the vinyl wrap the head car wrangler at the Horizon Festival, Warren, decided to use to dress up the Abarth.
It really is a nice color, but a little too flashy for my tastes. Okay, on to city, where little cars like this are usually a real joy.
Usually. That was the operative word. This little tre o cinque porte (hatchback, in italian) was stiff, loud, and generally unpleasant.
It even barked rudely when I accidentally hit the gas getting my phone out to tell the producers how displeased I was with them for having to suffer in the Abarth.
Rather than ride around all afternoon in the Biposto, I decided to stay in the Byron Bay Restaurant and Bar until I was able to go home, but I wasn't allowed to drink as I was told that once night fell in a few hours, I HAD to take on a local street race course, known to the locals as the Byron Town Throwdown. Lovely.
As I rolled up to the line, I was nervous. I had studied the course map diligently while killing time in the restaurant, so I felt confident I wouldn't embarrass myself and subsequently give Richard and Jeremy new material with which to mock me.
Unfortunately, things were not meant to be. I missed the first turn. Whose bright idea was it to mark the route with flares?!
I wish I could report that being the only turn I missed, but alas, I also overshot the hard left about halfway through the course. Oops, sorry Warren, I'm sure the finish will buff out.
Ultimately, I did figure the course out, and it only took a few tries. I found the raucous exhaust note annoying, and the engine buzzy. The brakes were very grippy, nearly throwing me through the windshield when I applied them before entering a corner. The differential Abarth installed in this car did a fine job of putting all 188hp down in the bends, and the reduction in curb weight made the rear end more eager to rotate under braking. All in all, the attitude of the 695 Biposto was simply dreadful. I'm sure the 133 owners of this limited production, $37k "mighty mouse" will disagree with me though.
As the sun was nearly coming up, I called it a night and went back to the hotel, content with my 2:42.898 laptime.
I really wanted to dislike this car, as it represents everything I think is wrong with tuning, but I have to admit, it really did take me by surprise and even defeated more powerful and more expensive cars on the course. I suppose then, that makes it... a sleeper.
)
