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Due to increasing products liability litigation, American liquor
manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all containers:
WARNING 1:The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra.
WARNING 2: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
WARNING 3: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
WARNING 4: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
WARNING 5: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.
WARNING 6: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting.
WARNING 7: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers, resulting in you getting your ass kicked.
WARNING 8: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary.
WARNING 9: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of
inexplicable rugburns on the forehead, knees and lower back.
WARNING 10: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
WARNING 11:The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.
WARNING 12: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
WARNING 13: The consumption of alcohol may cause a disturbance in the time-space continuum, whereby gaps of time may seem to literally disappear.
WARNING 14: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
WARNING 15: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.
So before you drink alcohol....make sure you're fully aware of these warnings.
manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all containers:
WARNING 1:The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra.
WARNING 2: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
WARNING 3: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
WARNING 4: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
WARNING 5: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.
WARNING 6: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting.
WARNING 7: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers, resulting in you getting your ass kicked.
WARNING 8: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary.
WARNING 9: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of
inexplicable rugburns on the forehead, knees and lower back.
WARNING 10: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
WARNING 11:The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.
WARNING 12: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
WARNING 13: The consumption of alcohol may cause a disturbance in the time-space continuum, whereby gaps of time may seem to literally disappear.
WARNING 14: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
WARNING 15: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.
So before you drink alcohol....make sure you're fully aware of these warnings.