Depression and Anxiety Thread

[SlipZtrEm]

Yeah.... About that ignorant fool thing. Let me clear it up a bit.

IMO whoever thinks that is an ignorant fool. That's the difference you like to gloss over.

What difference? Since your grasp on the English language appears tenuous, here's your original comment, copy/pasted:

"No. Because 3 decades of theory doesn't translate into 3 decades of experience. And it never will.

Only an ignorant fool would think it does."

More importantly why should you get offended with what someone thinks about you?

Are you seriously asking why insulting anybody that doesn't subscribe to the same thought process as you isn't acceptable?

I'll draw a paralell for ya, slip.

This lady I know, she had back pain so bad. No names. Doc said she wouldn't be able to walk. What did her dad do? Took her for vacation, to India. She went for a massage every day for two weeks.
She woke up black and blue for days. Then she came back. Told doc all the pain was virtually gone. Doc nearly had a heart attack even believing it, but he took a good look at her, she wasn't lying. That's my anecdote.

Ask me again about gut feeling? Or you going to spontaneously remember what it actually means?

The human body is a deeply complicated interconnected set of myriad systems. Doctors spend their entire careers learning about it, and will end those careers still not knowing everything — new details emerge on a regular basis. Nobody is going to be correct 100% of the time.

What do you do for a living? How does that make you more qualified to make medical decisions instead of trained professionals? And, by that token, would you accept the advice of a complete stranger with absolutely no experience in your field on how to do your job properly?

 

[Grippy]

What difference? Since your grasp on the English language appears tenuous, here's your original comment, copy/pasted:

"No. Because 3 decades of theory doesn't translate into 3 decades of experience. And it never will.

Only an ignorant fool would think it does."



Are you seriously asking why insulting anybody that doesn't subscribe to the same thought process as you isn't acceptable?

No, but you bring up a good point. Yes I do think differently. If not, why would you and the other have a problem? That's exactly it.

Back to topic, I am no longer going to convince you, you seem set in your thinking patterns. Of believing what you want. Confirmation Bias is terribly strong with you.


Blah blah blah. no. Yes, I do think people that think that are ignorant and foolish. Have I called anyone ignorant and foolish yet? Nope. There's a huge difference between thinking something and saying something. God.

And I'm sure you're going to yet again gloss over that. Must be those Moderator powers of yours, ticking in your brain's cortex over and over till you spit out this thoughtless formula response.

Adding to that, I'm sure you've never heard of "If you don't got nothing good to say, say nothing at all." Which is what I did. Yup. Just gloss over that will ya buddy?

 

[Vinylshark]

Isn't there like a "What's your opinion on doctors?" thread to continue this discussion?

 

[Grippy]

Isn't there like a "What's your opinion on doctors?" thread to continue this discussion?

Yeah, that sounds like a better idea. This isn't the thread to talk about this.

 

[kikie]

That was actually a good read. I feel better already.



Actually I have had an experience, this year, where my doctor and psychiatrist were wrong and I was right. I diagnosed myself based on a gut feeling, instinct, experience with previous depressions and feeling differently and pure simple common sense and logic.

It was proven that I'm one of the very few people whom has an adverse effect when taking benzodiazipines. It was proven when I took Lysanxia for 4 days and Xanax for 5 days.
My depression was only a light, sometimes a little bit worse than light depression and still the anti depressant (dosage is this time much higher than previous depressions) can't cure my depression. This got me thinking, what if I have an adverse effect with Lorazepam that I'm taking as well? It was my "gut feeling", knowing myself and feeling differently when I was depressed in the past, logic and common sense that I came to this conclusion.
When I addressed this problem and my theory to several doctors and psychiatrists, they all said that it was not possible. That the Lorazepam is not the cause the my depression stays the same every day without getting better. The cause, according to my doctor and former psychiatrist, were my anxieties, racking my brain and when that didn't stick, an obsession with Lorazepam according my doctor.

At the end of January I had to go to the ER because I had, again a very severe attack and a very severe case of withdrawal from the Lorazepam. I came in contact with a psychiatrist whom said that I was correct, that my theory about the Lorazepam is the cause that my depression isn't getting any better. It has been know for years he said and it is even mentioned in medical books.
Finally I had confirmation that I was right and my doctor and former psychiatrist were wrong. My doctor still won't admit that he is wrong.

Got myself a new psychiatrist and she also agrees with me, that the Lorazepam is the cause of all my suffering, the last 7 months.

This is only one example of a patient's gut feeling to be the right diagnosis and not the doctor's. What I mean is, that it is certainly possible that a gut feeling could be the correct feeling instead of what the doctor says. But it is a rarity, an exception.

BUT I don't believe for one minute that what Grippy said that he trust only himself and not the doctors is correct. So, bottom line, when you're sick, injured you go to a doctor, a hospital to get a diagnosis and treatment. You certainly don't go and consult yourself. Unless you have an X-ray machine in your living room and other medical stuff.


Medical trained people are there to help the sick and they are good at it. They even admit that they made a lot of progress the last few decades but they don't know everything and can't cure all diseases. Sometimes they are powerless in spite of years of medical training. Saying that your gut feeling it the only correct way to get a diagnosis is just plain stupid.

Wow, I wrote a book.

 

[TeamCZRRacing]

I can't believe that i'm thinking about this but...

View attachment 642396

Life as an Arab, Muslim and bisexual is hard...Having abused and bullied in the childhood. Been dealing with Disorders such as ADHD and now depression, anxiety, loneliness and low self esteem. Been discriminated for one reason or another. Been sucking at some stuff and being rejected by everyone.

When this will end? Will it even be a bit better anytime soon?

I'm sorry for everything I have done wrong in this life. I love you all and I hope you have a great life. Im not sure if I even want to continue this struggle.

Here's the thing, right? Those people who bully you and put you down - they're the weak ones. They don't understand you, which makes them afraid of you, so they think they have to intimidate you in order to put themselves in a position of power above you. I know it's far, far easier said than done for someone with clinical depression, but the key is to not let it get to you, or at least, don't show it. Emotions, to them, are only confirmation that they've succeeded.

Don't end it. Prove to them that you're superior by pulling through. Because they aren't worth the dirt under your ****ing heel, much less killing yourself over.

 

[Valkyr1313]

So. Question. It's bad if you hit yourself in the head multiple times right?
Like earlier this evening, I was working on something on my computer, and accidentally managed to break it, so instead of like shouting or getting pissed off, I used my fists and hit myself on the head for about 90 seconds. I did that probably 4 times this evening, and now my head really hurts, I'm super, super dizzy, have black spots in my vision and feel like I'm either gonna faint or throw up or both.

I've been using it for quite a while now honestly, but tonight I did it more than normal, so sorta wanted to ask people? Like it's a way of sorta showing how stupid and worthless I feel, and punishing myself for that.




I feel like this post is about a 0/10 on readability tbh

 

[ULTRAVIOLENZZ]

Use percussive maintenance to objects not to yourself.

F head.

 

[Com Fox]

So. Question. It's bad if you hit yourself in the head multiple times right?
Like earlier this evening, I was working on something on my computer, and accidentally managed to break it, so instead of like shouting or getting pissed off, I used my fists and hit myself on the head for about 90 seconds. I did that probably 4 times this evening, and now my head really hurts, I'm super, super dizzy, have black spots in my vision and feel like I'm either gonna faint or throw up or both.

I've been using it for quite a while now honestly, but tonight I did it more than normal, so sorta wanted to ask people? Like it's a way of sorta showing how stupid and worthless I feel, and punishing myself for that.




I feel like this post is about a 0/10 on readability tbh

That is incredibly unhealthy, mentally and physically. You hitting yourself is just going to make it worse. I'd reccomend going and seeing someone over this habit because this is kinda horrifying.

Shouting actually isn't as bad as you might think, or just having something to let out your rage, as to calm you down and prevent actions like hurting yourself so bad that you have black spots in your vision. Your computer not working is completely out of your control especially since it was accidental, its not something you should blame yourself for.

 

[dylansan]

So. Question. It's bad if you hit yourself in the head multiple times right?
Like earlier this evening, I was working on something on my computer, and accidentally managed to break it, so instead of like shouting or getting pissed off, I used my fists and hit myself on the head for about 90 seconds. I did that probably 4 times this evening, and now my head really hurts, I'm super, super dizzy, have black spots in my vision and feel like I'm either gonna faint or throw up or both.

I've been using it for quite a while now honestly, but tonight I did it more than normal, so sorta wanted to ask people? Like it's a way of sorta showing how stupid and worthless I feel, and punishing myself for that.




I feel like this post is about a 0/10 on readability tbh

See a doctor. Now. Go to the ER if you can't get an appointment right away.

Concussions are no joke. Please take care of yourself.

 

[kikie]

See a doctor. Now. Go to the ER if you can't get an appointment right away.

Concussions are no joke. Please take care of yourself.

I second that.

I wanted to say the exact same thing. You've hurt your brain is some degree @PinkKitty13

 

[RacingPanda]

Oh man. I'm currently working in a consulting group run by students and I'm in the final stages of my first project. Unfortunately, all I'm ever getting out of is more and more workload onto my shoulders - with none of the benefits (like increased recognition) and all of the downsides (sanctions in case deadlines are not met). And no, I don't receive money for this, but after this project, if they decide to let me stay, I at least will have a chance of working on projects I'll be paid for. That, and then there's also the increased pressure of my studies (which become less interesting as time progresses) as there are regular tests. As time progresses, I wonder if all the effort is even worth it. If this fails, they'll still get what they wanted out of this, but won't even allow me to use it as a reference of my work. What good is giving it all if in the end, you can erase all of what you've done with just one mistake? What purpose does a college degree and a well-paid job (both of which I'm only working towards and I'm not even remotely close) serve when all of one's money are not used to feed a family? Yes, I could buy a nice car, but until I have the money to do so, combustion engines will probably be banned or looked down upon as egoistic and old-fashioned. And other than cars, there isn't much worth spending your money for. Except for donating (which I regularly do, even though I'm barely scraping by as it is) and well - supporting your family. But as it is right now, I'm never going to do the latter - objectively, I'm not attractive (literally "a face only a mother could love") and even if I were, there's likely still some trait that all except me can feel and which makes me completely incompatible with other humans. I know lifting is a popular advice and let me say: I tried it and it will not make you more attractive to others, at least it's not guaranteed. But at least I now don't loath ugly, fat me. Now it's just ugly me. I'm really curious if I can get to the point at which I'll hate ugly, buff me. I also have to say that looking in the mirror does at least help you with coming to terms with yourself - you might not gain confidence (I surely haven't, at least not when it comes to social interaction), but sometimes you just can't help but admire your progress. It isn't for everyone, though, and I can see why. It won't hurt (well it might physically) to try it out, though. It at least keeps your mind away from your problems for the time you're working out, which is pretty neat.

This might sound really pathetic, but currently, video games do help me the most. If it weren't for them, I'd probably go crazy - all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy, or so they say. I just wish I would do something more - "social". I tried online gaming, but it's a thing I can only do with people I know (and even then, since I don't meet them and because of the social stigma around it, I still don't feel quite comfortable). I tried play FH3 yesterday and got shouted at (in German, which makes it worse) right in the first race (just for missing a checkpoint and turning around). Events like this make me even more anxious and scare me. Sounds even more pathetic, but it's not something I can cope with - especially when it happens within my own little comfort zone. And this is what lessens their impact on my well-being IMHO.

It would be so nice to just meet up with people and do something as a group together ... or to know I'm appreciated. I think this is what I'm really missing. Right now, all I feel like is like a machine, I'm supposed to work and all I do will be taken for granted. All I don't do (or not at the level it is expected) is considered a flaw and renders me useless, ready for replacement. I wonder if I really want to live in such a society, in which I'm nothing more than an imperfect version of a robot? It's a rhetorical question, really. But knowing how much my mother has done for me, and how much it would hurt her - I can't do it. Yet.

 

[Dan]

Oh man. I'm currently working in a consulting group run by students and I'm in the final stages of my first project. Unfortunately, all I'm ever getting out of is more and more workload onto my shoulders - with none of the benefits (like increased recognition) and all of the downsides (sanctions in case deadlines are not met). And no, I don't receive money for this, but after this project, if they decide to let me stay, I at least will have a chance of working on projects I'll be paid for. That, and then there's also the increased pressure of my studies (which become less interesting as time progresses) as there are regular tests. As time progresses, I wonder if all the effort is even worth it. If this fails, they'll still get what they wanted out of this, but won't even allow me to use it as a reference of my work. What good is giving it all if in the end, you can erase all of what you've done with just one mistake? What purpose does a college degree and a well-paid job (both of which I'm only working towards and I'm not even remotely close) serve when all of one's money are not used to feed a family? Yes, I could buy a nice car, but until I have the money to do so, combustion engines will probably be banned or looked down upon as egoistic and old-fashioned. And other than cars, there isn't much worth spending your money for. Except for donating (which I regularly do, even though I'm barely scraping by as it is) and well - supporting your family. But as it is right now, I'm never going to do the latter - objectively, I'm not attractive (literally "a face only a mother could love") and even if I were, there's likely still some trait that all except me can feel and which makes me completely incompatible with other humans. I know lifting is a popular advice and let me say: I tried it and it will not make you more attractive to others, at least it's not guaranteed. But at least I now don't loath ugly, fat me. Now it's just ugly me. I'm really curious if I can get to the point at which I'll hate ugly, buff me. I also have to say that looking in the mirror does at least help you with coming to terms with yourself - you might not gain confidence (I surely haven't, at least not when it comes to social interaction), but sometimes you just can't help but admire your progress. It isn't for everyone, though, and I can see why. It won't hurt (well it might physically) to try it out, though. It at least keeps your mind away from your problems for the time you're working out, which is pretty neat.

This might sound really pathetic, but currently, video games do help me the most. If it weren't for them, I'd probably go crazy - all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy, or so they say. I just wish I would do something more - "social". I tried online gaming, but it's a thing I can only do with people I know (and even then, since I don't meet them and because of the social stigma around it, I still don't feel quite comfortable). I tried play FH3 yesterday and got shouted at (in German, which makes it worse) right in the first race (just for missing a checkpoint and turning around). Events like this make me even more anxious and scare me. Sounds even more pathetic, but it's not something I can cope with - especially when it happens within my own little comfort zone. And this is what lessens their impact on my well-being IMHO.

It would be so nice to just meet up with people and do something as a group together ... or to know I'm appreciated. I think this is what I'm really missing. Right now, all I feel like is like a machine, I'm supposed to work and all I do will be taken for granted. All I don't do (or not at the level it is expected) is considered a flaw and renders me useless, ready for replacement. I wonder if I really want to live in such a society, in which I'm nothing more than an imperfect version of a robot? It's a rhetorical question, really. But knowing how much my mother has done for me, and how much it would hurt her - I can't do it. Yet.

I'm not sure how to properly respond to this, but I want to say that we're not ignoring your post because we don't want to give you the wrong advice. If you ever need to speak to us privately, we're always ready to listen.

 

[TJ13]

These Cloudy, Wet, Cold days we've been having the past like few days (Seems like weeks) has really affected my Seasonal Affective Depression.

Get maybe one really nice day and I get out and enjoy followed by 3 days of cold grey and wet.
Can't ever get any good days together.

Then to add.
Girlfriend is way to busy to even boost my mood up because of a cousin's birthday, tomorrow (Have to prepare now)
Blah.
Just makes things worse.

Good thing there is the is a new episode of NCIS tomorrow night so I don't have to worry.

Edit/Update:

Sleepless night, forecast for today much the same. Cold, Grey, Wet.
Girlfriend too busy to even see if I am okay.
Seems like this weather is really depressing and nothing I can do except wait until it gets sunny to go out.

 

[W3H5]

I don't talk about my depression any more. Haven't for a long while, nobody asks so I don't feel the need to mention it. Even my wife and family don't know I'm depressed, they think I've been well for the last few years but the truth is I've discovered a way of living with it.

Day to day I seem normal and well, slightly cheery at times but my general attitude is very stoic anyway so nobody questions it. What really makes it bareable is similar to what the Hulk said in the finale of the Avengers movie - "...I'm always angry" - well, I'm always depressed, that's why nobody notices it and it helps me keep my mind off of it too. It's not a cure but it works for me.

 

[VBR]

These Cloudy, Wet, Cold days we've been having the past like few days (Seems like weeks) has really affected my Seasonal Affective Depression.

Same for me. Most if not all of my depression comes from that. I get SAD quite severe, & if it's overcast for more than a week or two I feel like killing myself. Used light therapy to treat it for 8 years, but it became less & less effective over time. Winter just gone I found that lots of bed rest was just as effective, up to 12 hours a day as needed.

Have you tried or do you currently use a light box?

 

[TJ13]

Same for me. Most if not all of my depression comes from that. I get SAD quite severe, & if it's overcast for more than a week or two I feel like killing myself. Used light therapy to treat it for 8 years, but it became less & less effective over time. Winter just gone I found that lots of bed rest was just as effective, up to 12 hours a day as needed.

Have you tried or do you currently use a light box?

I have and it's just like you becomes less effective over time.
At lease right now there is sun. But the way the west looks, Grey. It won't last.

Even the Vitamin D therapy helped out some but not as effective as before.

It wouldn't be bad if it wasn't cold and wet too. Cloudy isn't bad if it's warm and well not raining.

I also think what made it even worse is that the girlfriend didn't even ask if I was okay, or the words I love you, not even a miss you. All that she could focus is a birthday for a cousin instead of asking a simple thing to see if I was actually okay.

 

[VBR]

Even the Vitamin D therapy helped out some but not as effective as before.

I tried Vit D on its own, & it did nothing. Then I combined it with bright white light therapy, 10,000 lux at 60cm, & it they amplified each other. I started to feel euphoric! However that quickly turned in anxiety so I had to stop. Blue light therapy did very little for me (Philips GoLite), so I thought if I combined the Vit D with that they might amplify each other. Tried it, but didn't work. Have been experimenting with that for a while but can't get the right balance. Then last year I inadvertently discovered that 12 hours of bed rest was just as effective at treating it.

At least we know the reason we have depression.

 

[TJ13]

I tried Vit D on its own, & it did nothing. Then I combined it with bright white light therapy, 10,000 lux at 60cm, & it they amplified each other. I started to feel euphoric! However that quickly turned in anxiety so I had to stop. Blue light therapy did very little for me (Philips GoLite), so I thought if I combined the Vit D with that they might amplify each other. Tried it, but didn't work. Have been experimenting with that for a while but can't get the right balance. Then last year I inadvertently discovered that 12 hours of bed rest was just as effective at treating it.

At least we know the reason we have depression.

Well I have just more than SAD,
I am on the Autism Spectrum Disorder, combined with generalized anxiety and general depression. So for me winter just makes me want to do nothing. When the sun comes out I do want to go out but if it's like -20 I don't want to go out.
Even 20 in Late Feb, feels so nice if it's sunny.

While I could take meds for one thing it just amplifies the other and then would have to do something for the other and it doesn't help going back and forth. Although to help relax for me I notice that the non habit forming like Z'quil helps with anxiety but doesn't do much on putting to sleep though.

SAD I guess is the biggest thing for my hopelessness and social withdraw over everything during the winter and these random cold damp grey succession days.

 

[VBR]

Well I have just more than SAD,
I am on the Autism Spectrum Disorder, combined with generalized anxiety and general depression. So for me winter just makes me want to do nothing. When the sun comes out I do want to go out but if it's like -20 I don't want to go out.
Even 20 in Late Feb, feels so nice if it's sunny.

While I could take meds for one thing it just amplifies the other and then would have to do something for the other and it doesn't help going back and forth. Although to help relax for me I notice that the non habit forming like Z'quil helps with anxiety but doesn't do much on putting to sleep though.

SAD I guess is the biggest thing for my hopelessness and social withdraw over everything during the winter and these random cold damp grey succession days.

Same, have more than just SAD. People don't understand when you have multiple chronic health conditions, especially the way they interact with & exacerbate each other. I also don't get on well with meds, my ANS is very twitchy, & I get loads of side effects that are worse than what I'm taking them for in the first place.

Hope the sun comes out for you soon!

 

[TJ13]

Hope the sun comes out for you soon!

It has today, but there are still some clouds but at lease it's some.
Going to go out and bike to my meeting then continue on for awhile. Maybe enjoy it.
Also sounds like it should be sunny the rest of the week so that's a good plus too.

The part that mostly gets to me is that my once thought "supportive" girlfriend was going to be there when I asked if I ever need to talk will you be there, wasn't there, made me so down even more that it wasn't funny.
Only thing she said was "I'm Sorry."

 

[VBR]

@TJ13 - Unfortunately the only way to avoid disappointment in life is to not expect a 🤬 thing from anybody!

Bike? Push bike or motorbike? I have a Mountain Bike, love to ride that & it's a good mood lifter in the summer. Mine's broke at the minute, was in the middle of refurbing it but hit snags & then my SAD kicked in last year & I gave up. Need to get moving on that project again soon.

Had some nice sun here today in the UK too. With SAD we just gotta remember to get out in it as much as humanly possible.


👍

 

[TJ13]

@VBR push bike.
Got a hybrid Mountain/road bike.
Got out on it back in Feb when we had unseasonably warm and sunny days.
Then the gloom and wet and cold returned.
Going to get out the rest of this week and hopefully those orange cones don't get in the way of my route.

 

[Imari]

What purpose does a college degree and a well-paid job (both of which I'm only working towards and I'm not even remotely close) serve when all of one's money are not used to feed a family?

I don't know about others, but for me the college degree was the piece of paper that I needed to do the job that I really, really enjoy. The money is mostly just something that is nice so that I can buy things that I like. Like a nice graphics card or just nice food.

You don't necessarily have to follow the "get married, have kids and raise a family" life plan that seems to be most people's standard. For some people that's great, but at the same time it's not for everyone.

 

[TJ13]

@RacingPanda
To add to @Imari

College degree helps move up in the work force so you are not doing a minimalist job or McDonalds all throughout life and also maybe the dream career has to be educated?

Money is something that everyone needs, how much depends on what you want in the future.

Married, Family, and all that, while it seem standard it's not really.

Some are just in it for the company, others is to share a house, or be single, never married and live in a big mansion for all we know.

Only you can determine what you want in the future. Nothing is forced upon you and you can do the things you want.

 

[High-Test]

Maybe OT. But this is in regards to anxiety. I have had lifelong issues with anxiety and eczema, which feed one another.

We are not what the anxiety says about us. I'm not what it says about me. You aren't either.

It's lying to you. It tells lies to you in your own, beautiful inner voice because it knows that you're the only one who can hear it. If it sounded like a recording of your voice, you might spot the impostor immediately. But it speaks in the voice of the reasonable person that you are. All so it can take you hostage. It starts out as that self-observing inner voice that is necessary to bettering yourself and fundamental to humility. It says "You could have done that better." That's reasonable. That's something your true inner voice would say. "You're a total screwup" isn't reasonable at all. Nor is the search for evidence to prove what masquerades as your own honest estimation.

You are enough. You are entitled to make mistakes. You're obligated to make at least a few. You would not be the person who you are, worthy of love, if you had not fallen a few times.

Anxiety is aware that you are loved. It plays those people you love against you. It says you're letting them all down. But it doesn't truly know or understand that you are loved. Those who love you would have told you that you were skirting the path of screwing up as bad as you've been led to think you have.

Your anxiety is both lying to you and about you at the same time. We are not what it says we are.

At the end of the day, ask yourself:

1.)How many people care about me?
2.) How many people have I hurt maliciously?

1a if you struggle to come up with an answer greater than the number of fingers you have, think in very basic terms. family can often be a source of stress. think of those people you run into day after day. You might not know their names. They might be cashiers, or people on the bus. Smalltalk. They're not wishing you ill. If they were, they are the wackos.

2a I mean hurt to a core. physically. out of spite. malice. violence. not something you said because you were lost in the oppressive fog of depression and hurt their feelings.

I received a misdiagnosis of bipolar II in 2010. It took a very long time to realize what was what and to claw my way out of the hole. The absence of mood stabilizers stabilized my mood. It turned out to be crushing anxiety and moderate to severe depression. Go back far enough and you'll find Dark High-Test in this thread.

Anxiety is a lying swine. Don't listen to it. If you are not for yourself, who will be?

We're all human. We're all worthy of love and contentment. We're all entitled to make mistakes.

And the good thing is that we're all connected to this lot at GTP. Refer to question 1. increase the numerical value of your answer accordingly.

 

[Dan]

Maybe OT. But this is in regards to anxiety. I have had lifelong issues with anxiety and eczema, which feed one another.

We are not what the anxiety says about us. I'm not what it says about me. You aren't either.

It's lying to you. It tells lies to you in your own, beautiful inner voice because it knows that you're the only one who can hear it. If it sounded like a recording of your voice, you might spot the impostor immediately. But it speaks in the voice of the reasonable person that you are. All so it can take you hostage. It starts out as that self-observing inner voice that is necessary to bettering yourself and fundamental to humility. It says "You could have done that better." That's reasonable. That's something your true inner voice would say. "You're a total screwup" isn't reasonable at all. Nor is the search for evidence to prove what masquerades as your own honest estimation.

You are enough. You are entitled to make mistakes. You're obligated to make at least a few. You would not be the person who you are, worthy of love, if you had not fallen a few times.

Anxiety is aware that you are loved. It plays those people you love against you. It says you're letting them all down. But it doesn't truly know or understand that you are loved. Those who love you would have told you that you were skirting the path of screwing up as bad as you've been led to think you have.

Your anxiety is both lying to you and about you at the same time. We are not what it says we are.

At the end of the day, ask yourself:

1.)How many people care about me?
2.) How many people have I hurt maliciously?

1a if you struggle to come up with an answer greater than the number of fingers you have, think in very basic terms. family can often be a source of stress. think of those people you run into day after day. You might not know their names. They might be cashiers, or people on the bus. Smalltalk. They're not wishing you ill. If they were, they are the wackos.

2a I mean hurt to a core. physically. out of spite. malice. violence. not something you said because you were lost in the oppressive fog of depression and hurt their feelings.

I received a misdiagnosis of bipolar II in 2010. It took a very long time to realize what was what and to claw my way out of the hole. The absence of mood stabilizers stabilized my mood. It turned out to be crushing anxiety and moderate to severe depression. Go back far enough and you'll find Dark High-Test in this thread.

Anxiety is a lying swine. Don't listen to it. If you are not for yourself, who will be?

We're all human. We're all worthy of love and contentment. We're all entitled to make mistakes.

And the good thing is that we're all connected to this lot at GTP. Refer to question 1. increase the numerical value of your answer accordingly.

This is a beautiful post that everyone needs to see, but the depressed part of me is going "That's garbage. Ignore him, Dan. You're an idiot for believing him." It's like people telling me they care about me, but it doesn't click in my head; it goes in one ear and out the other, you know? I should know they care, but it doesn't make sense to me that they do.

 

[High-Test]

This is a beautiful post that everyone needs to see, but the depressed part of me is going "That's garbage. Ignore him, Dan. You're an idiot for believing him." It's like people telling me they care about me, but it doesn't click in my head; it goes in one ear and out the other, you know? I should know they care, but it doesn't make sense to me that they do.

If the depressed part of you is calling BS while the real you says "there's some merit to this", then I'm on the right track.

I just want the best for the people who frequent congregation GTPlanet. And those around me. That's it. If I've figured something out in my own struggles that might benefit someone, I'm happy to help. tbh, the core of that post was copied from my own facebook page. I was having a bad week. A friend was having a worse week. To hell with my bad week, I have a friend in need!

Was that the real Dan speaking those things? I used to think those things of myself. Hopefully I will not in the future. It's a constant struggle. you can lose a battle or two. I scraped the front driver's side wheel on my brand new Mazda last week picking up a dear friend from the airport and wanted to eviscerate myself. But that was the worst I did that week.

Funny thing about those of us with depression and anxiety. We'll help others. We will give the shirts off our backs. Our own issues too often come last. We are of no help to anyone else if we're a pair of smouldering shoes. I'm not advocating "me first", but you can't come last.

My full thoughts on anxiety are ridden with profanity. I don't want to get banned.

 

[VBR]

I found an effective antidepressant which id not a med. I've taken Zinc before, but it had no effect on me. However, Good State Liquid Ionic Zinc had a very strong antidepressant effect after just 10 days use. I took a double dose every morning on an empty stomach. However, it made my already unbearable insomnia 10x worse so I had to stop. If you don't have sleep problems then it might not affect you that way. I hope this helps someone.

 

[Dan]

What is it like to be on anti-depressants or anxiety meds? I've never gone to the doctor about my issues and I'm curious as to how they make you feel before and after taking them. For example, do anti-anxiety pills like Xanax calm you down immediately if you're having a panic attack? I've also heard there's nasty side effects for a good number of them.