Depression and Anxiety Thread

[Chris30]

I'm in one of the periods where I do feel the darkness closing in. It comes and goes, has done for about 20 years. Coming up to the first anniversary of my dad passing away and I'm also having psoriasis flare ups which badly affects my self-confidence.

Doesn't help that my work is unbelievably boring and quiet recently. I just passed 10 years with the company and really think I need to move on. Only started this job as I'd previously been unemployed for quite a while, it's not something I wanted to do. Maybe finding something I actually enjoy might help motivate me to want to get up in the morning.

One silver lining - I don't drink, never have. I'd be in a hell of a state if I did.

Well I hope you can overcome this fear. And I'm sorry to hear your father passed away. I used to be scared of the dark when I was little. I know the feeling.

 

[HenrySwanson]

I'm in one of the periods where I do feel the darkness closing in. It comes and goes, has done for about 20 years. Coming up to the first anniversary of my dad passing away and I'm also having psoriasis flare ups which badly affects my self-confidence.

Doesn't help that my work is unbelievably boring and quiet recently. I just passed 10 years with the company and really think I need to move on. Only started this job as I'd previously been unemployed for quite a while, it's not something I wanted to do. Maybe finding something I actually enjoy might help motivate me to want to get up in the morning.

One silver lining - I don't drink, never have. I'd be in a hell of a state if I did.

Do you have qualifications/transferrable skills that will help you change jobs?

 

[Chris30]

I'm so scared and worried about what's gonna happen to my mom, the doctors gave her a report from her labs, and they mentioned, "Advanced Ovarian Cancer." It is rare too. So I've been depressed about that. If something did happen I'd have to find another caregiver to look after me and help me with budgeting the bills, food, gas and other things/medicines.

I'm praying for a miracle to happen from God/the Universe.

 

[W3H5]

I'm so scared and worried about what's gonna happen to my mom, the doctors gave her a report from her labs, and they mentioned, "Advanced Ovarian Cancer." It is rare too. So I've been depressed about that. If something did happen I'd have to find another caregiver to look after me and help me with budgeting the bills, food, gas and other things/medicines.

I'm praying for a miracle to happen from God/the Universe.

It’s normal to be scared.

For what it’s worth, the last person I knew that had ovarian cancer pulled through pretty much unscathed, and then went on to have a baby.

I have to ask, Chris, and feel free not to reply, but what is your need for a caregiver at your age? I know you’re around 30 which puts most of us in the care of ourselves, or a wife if we’re lucky.

 

[ScottPuss20]

I have a bit of internal conflict going on right now in regards to my dad. I want to make his life better because he seems pretty miserable at the moment. I feel like he should interact with more of his family and/or become part of a community of some kind because I know how important it can be to have other people around you. It helped me carry on with my blog when I was having my own episode of anxiety at the start of 2023. Unfortunately, he doesn't seem interested in doing so. At his age, he really needs it but he's totally against social media, and when I suggest that he should take some photos and share them, he says that no one will care. Dad doesn't understand the value of human interaction and how powerful it can be from a mental health standpoint. I want to help him but I can't because he won't listen to me, which puts me in an awkward situation. I don't want him to get worse because he's my dad and he's done a lot for me, and I feel like turning a blind eye is immoral. However, at the same time, I don't know if it's worth stressing out about it because it's very clear that he's unwilling to help himself. He's quite insufferable and has a very negative attitude towards almost everything now, which is not fun. I find it hard to watch him like this.

 

[lbpomg95]

I have a bit of internal conflict going on right now in regards to my dad. I want to make his life better because he seems pretty miserable at the moment. I feel like he should interact with more of his family and/or become part of a community of some kind because I know how important it can be to have other people around you. It helped me carry on with my blog when I was having my own episode of anxiety at the start of 2023. Unfortunately, he doesn't seem interested in doing so. At his age, he really needs it but he's totally against social media, and when I suggest that he should take some photos and share them, he says that no one will care. Dad doesn't understand the value of human interaction and how powerful it can be from a mental health standpoint. I want to help him but I can't because he won't listen to me, which puts me in an awkward situation. I don't want him to get worse because he's my dad and he's done a lot for me, and I feel like turning a blind eye is immoral. However, at the same time, I don't know if it's worth stressing out about it because it's very clear that he's unwilling to help himself. He's quite insufferable and has a very negative attitude towards almost everything now, which is not fun. I find it hard to watch him like this.

Perhaps there's suggestions you can make outside of using social media? On the outside looking in, it's hard to ignore how toxic and awful the majority of social media is.

 

[HenrySwanson]

I have a bit of internal conflict going on right now in regards to my dad. I want to make his life better because he seems pretty miserable at the moment. I feel like he should interact with more of his family and/or become part of a community of some kind because I know how important it can be to have other people around you. It helped me carry on with my blog when I was having my own episode of anxiety at the start of 2023. Unfortunately, he doesn't seem interested in doing so. At his age, he really needs it but he's totally against social media, and when I suggest that he should take some photos and share them, he says that no one will care. Dad doesn't understand the value of human interaction and how powerful it can be from a mental health standpoint. I want to help him but I can't because he won't listen to me, which puts me in an awkward situation. I don't want him to get worse because he's my dad and he's done a lot for me, and I feel like turning a blind eye is immoral. However, at the same time, I don't know if it's worth stressing out about it because it's very clear that he's unwilling to help himself. He's quite insufferable and has a very negative attitude towards almost everything now, which is not fun. I find it hard to watch him like this.

You don't have to answer but does he have a chronic illness? That can be a factor in depression. My ex's dad unfortunately has bad kidney trouble from diabetes and has been really down for a long time.

 

[ScottPuss20]

You don't have to answer but does he have a chronic illness? That can be a factor in depression. My ex's dad unfortunately has bad kidney trouble from diabetes and has been really down for a long time.

He doesn't but he's had back issues for a long time. When he was young he buggered his one of his knees playing football (Australian rules) and that's been a problem for him also. He has found ways of managing it, however it's not the reason for his unwillingness to interact with people. I think it comes down to low self-esteem to be honest.

Perhaps there's suggestions you can make outside of using social media? On the outside looking in, it's hard to ignore how toxic and awful the majority of social media is.

All of my extended family use social media in one way or another. Dad is the only one who doesn't. He won't even use WhatsApp and join the family group chat. Sure, social media can be bad and I have experienced it many times, but since starting my blog, it's allowed me to connect with fellow car enthusiasts, owners and spotters like never before. If you stick to the good side of social media, there's nothing to worry about. Unfortunately, dad only seems to focus on the bad because he's very negative.

 

[Imari]

All of my extended family use social media in one way or another. Dad is the only one who doesn't. He won't even use WhatsApp and join the family group chat. Sure, social media can be bad and I have experienced it many times, but since starting my blog, it's allowed me to connect with fellow car enthusiasts, owners and spotters like never before. If you stick to the good side of social media, there's nothing to worry about. Unfortunately, dad only seems to focus on the bad because he's very negative.

If you want him to connect with people, there are ways to do that outside social media too. If he does want to connect, you may be better off helping him find a way that does feel good and safe to him rather than trying to push him towards something that worked for you but that he feels uncomfortable about.

If he's not interested and he just wants to wallow, you may have to let him be. Take what space you need to keep yourself well, and try to be there when/if he reaches out for help. Even if you can see the problems that he can't, he's an adult and he's entitled to make his own decisions be they bad or otherwise.