Depression and Anxiety Thread

[Chris30]

I'm in one of the periods where I do feel the darkness closing in. It comes and goes, has done for about 20 years. Coming up to the first anniversary of my dad passing away and I'm also having psoriasis flare ups which badly affects my self-confidence.

Doesn't help that my work is unbelievably boring and quiet recently. I just passed 10 years with the company and really think I need to move on. Only started this job as I'd previously been unemployed for quite a while, it's not something I wanted to do. Maybe finding something I actually enjoy might help motivate me to want to get up in the morning.

One silver lining - I don't drink, never have. I'd be in a hell of a state if I did.

Well I hope you can overcome this fear. And I'm sorry to hear your father passed away. I used to be scared of the dark when I was little. I know the feeling.

 

[HenrySwanson]

I'm in one of the periods where I do feel the darkness closing in. It comes and goes, has done for about 20 years. Coming up to the first anniversary of my dad passing away and I'm also having psoriasis flare ups which badly affects my self-confidence.

Doesn't help that my work is unbelievably boring and quiet recently. I just passed 10 years with the company and really think I need to move on. Only started this job as I'd previously been unemployed for quite a while, it's not something I wanted to do. Maybe finding something I actually enjoy might help motivate me to want to get up in the morning.

One silver lining - I don't drink, never have. I'd be in a hell of a state if I did.

Do you have qualifications/transferrable skills that will help you change jobs?

 

[Chris30]

I'm so scared and worried about what's gonna happen to my mom, the doctors gave her a report from her labs, and they mentioned, "Advanced Ovarian Cancer." It is rare too. So I've been depressed about that. If something did happen I'd have to find another caregiver to look after me and help me with budgeting the bills, food, gas and other things/medicines.

I'm praying for a miracle to happen from God/the Universe.

 

[W3H5]

I'm so scared and worried about what's gonna happen to my mom, the doctors gave her a report from her labs, and they mentioned, "Advanced Ovarian Cancer." It is rare too. So I've been depressed about that. If something did happen I'd have to find another caregiver to look after me and help me with budgeting the bills, food, gas and other things/medicines.

I'm praying for a miracle to happen from God/the Universe.

It’s normal to be scared.

For what it’s worth, the last person I knew that had ovarian cancer pulled through pretty much unscathed, and then went on to have a baby.

I have to ask, Chris, and feel free not to reply, but what is your need for a caregiver at your age? I know you’re around 30 which puts most of us in the care of ourselves, or a wife if we’re lucky.

 

[ScottPuss20]

I have a bit of internal conflict going on right now in regards to my dad. I want to make his life better because he seems pretty miserable at the moment. I feel like he should interact with more of his family and/or become part of a community of some kind because I know how important it can be to have other people around you. It helped me carry on with my blog when I was having my own episode of anxiety at the start of 2023. Unfortunately, he doesn't seem interested in doing so. At his age, he really needs it but he's totally against social media, and when I suggest that he should take some photos and share them, he says that no one will care. Dad doesn't understand the value of human interaction and how powerful it can be from a mental health standpoint. I want to help him but I can't because he won't listen to me, which puts me in an awkward situation. I don't want him to get worse because he's my dad and he's done a lot for me, and I feel like turning a blind eye is immoral. However, at the same time, I don't know if it's worth stressing out about it because it's very clear that he's unwilling to help himself. He's quite insufferable and has a very negative attitude towards almost everything now, which is not fun. I find it hard to watch him like this.

 

[lbpomg95]

I have a bit of internal conflict going on right now in regards to my dad. I want to make his life better because he seems pretty miserable at the moment. I feel like he should interact with more of his family and/or become part of a community of some kind because I know how important it can be to have other people around you. It helped me carry on with my blog when I was having my own episode of anxiety at the start of 2023. Unfortunately, he doesn't seem interested in doing so. At his age, he really needs it but he's totally against social media, and when I suggest that he should take some photos and share them, he says that no one will care. Dad doesn't understand the value of human interaction and how powerful it can be from a mental health standpoint. I want to help him but I can't because he won't listen to me, which puts me in an awkward situation. I don't want him to get worse because he's my dad and he's done a lot for me, and I feel like turning a blind eye is immoral. However, at the same time, I don't know if it's worth stressing out about it because it's very clear that he's unwilling to help himself. He's quite insufferable and has a very negative attitude towards almost everything now, which is not fun. I find it hard to watch him like this.

Perhaps there's suggestions you can make outside of using social media? On the outside looking in, it's hard to ignore how toxic and awful the majority of social media is.

 

[HenrySwanson]

I have a bit of internal conflict going on right now in regards to my dad. I want to make his life better because he seems pretty miserable at the moment. I feel like he should interact with more of his family and/or become part of a community of some kind because I know how important it can be to have other people around you. It helped me carry on with my blog when I was having my own episode of anxiety at the start of 2023. Unfortunately, he doesn't seem interested in doing so. At his age, he really needs it but he's totally against social media, and when I suggest that he should take some photos and share them, he says that no one will care. Dad doesn't understand the value of human interaction and how powerful it can be from a mental health standpoint. I want to help him but I can't because he won't listen to me, which puts me in an awkward situation. I don't want him to get worse because he's my dad and he's done a lot for me, and I feel like turning a blind eye is immoral. However, at the same time, I don't know if it's worth stressing out about it because it's very clear that he's unwilling to help himself. He's quite insufferable and has a very negative attitude towards almost everything now, which is not fun. I find it hard to watch him like this.

You don't have to answer but does he have a chronic illness? That can be a factor in depression. My ex's dad unfortunately has bad kidney trouble from diabetes and has been really down for a long time.

 

[ScottPuss20]

You don't have to answer but does he have a chronic illness? That can be a factor in depression. My ex's dad unfortunately has bad kidney trouble from diabetes and has been really down for a long time.

He doesn't but he's had back issues for a long time. When he was young he buggered his one of his knees playing football (Australian rules) and that's been a problem for him also. He has found ways of managing it, however it's not the reason for his unwillingness to interact with people. I think it comes down to low self-esteem to be honest.

Perhaps there's suggestions you can make outside of using social media? On the outside looking in, it's hard to ignore how toxic and awful the majority of social media is.

All of my extended family use social media in one way or another. Dad is the only one who doesn't. He won't even use WhatsApp and join the family group chat. Sure, social media can be bad and I have experienced it many times, but since starting my blog, it's allowed me to connect with fellow car enthusiasts, owners and spotters like never before. If you stick to the good side of social media, there's nothing to worry about. Unfortunately, dad only seems to focus on the bad because he's very negative.

 

[Imari]

All of my extended family use social media in one way or another. Dad is the only one who doesn't. He won't even use WhatsApp and join the family group chat. Sure, social media can be bad and I have experienced it many times, but since starting my blog, it's allowed me to connect with fellow car enthusiasts, owners and spotters like never before. If you stick to the good side of social media, there's nothing to worry about. Unfortunately, dad only seems to focus on the bad because he's very negative.

If you want him to connect with people, there are ways to do that outside social media too. If he does want to connect, you may be better off helping him find a way that does feel good and safe to him rather than trying to push him towards something that worked for you but that he feels uncomfortable about.

If he's not interested and he just wants to wallow, you may have to let him be. Take what space you need to keep yourself well, and try to be there when/if he reaches out for help. Even if you can see the problems that he can't, he's an adult and he's entitled to make his own decisions be they bad or otherwise.

 

[JohnBM01]

This is a reminder that sometimes current events can induce mixed emotions. Usually, emotions that lead to depression and anxiety. Do whatever you can to get help or guidance. If you are in crisis, perhaps seek hotlines or healthcare professionals to help get your mind right.

Don't let depression and/or anxiety (and/or even reactions to certain current events in the news) win.

 

[MIE1992]

I've been feeling generally very positive in spite of some things lately, but I do gotta say that I've had to deactivate (not delete) my FaceBook account lately. It's not even that I see a ton of opinions that I happen to disagree with, but it just feels like the "dead internet theory" is giving me an awfully effective example. Something about everything feels off. Almost like I'm MacReady/Childs in John Carpenter's The Thing. Something about every last post - at least, that isn't by someone I know personally - seems to trigger my "flight-or-fight" response. I know I'm not paranoid. I feel much safer here on these forums.

 

[W3H5]

Dude, most of the internet is bots. Interacting with them just makes them stronger.

 

[Chikane_GTR]

I'm always depressed one good light that has help me is ofcourse video games can think of how many times GT7 has save my life.

Whenever I get thoughts

Spoiler

of suicide

I turn GT7 on and its been my go to game and helping me with my depressing.

 

[HenrySwanson]

I'm always depressed one good light that has help me is ofcourse video games can think of how many times GT7 has save my life.

Whenever I get thoughts

Spoiler

of suicide

I turn GT7 on and its been my go to game and helping me with my depressing.

That's good you have a release (I wish I could afford the upcoming Assetto Corsa!). Have you had those thoughts for a long time?

 

[Chris30]

I know one thing to help overcome my fear of the dark. Setting my mind to positivity to beat this fear and not be afraid anymore. Being negative will bring bad energy into your atmosphere.

 

[JohnBM01]

I've had an awful week. My stepfather went on a rant that basically ended up with him leaving the family and my home. After 25 years being together and 24 of them married, it's over. One moment as I was rounding up trash and feeling nervous some time after the rant, I slipped and fell in the kitchen. My foot was hurting for about 3-5 days trying to recover. The plus to all of this is that I feel I am no longer under any sort of serious mental threat from my now ex-stepfather's presence. A lot of us just seemed happier and more fortunate after this.

Sometimes, one person's departure can help you feel better when you've been under any sort of mental threats. I tend to feel relieved while also remembering what good my ex-stepfather did. I feel a bit more relaxed now and perhaps not as depressed. Maybe this helps my productivity a bit more. Perhaps I can feel a bit more confident working on stuff to share online.

It was an awful week, but the weekend has been pretty well so far.


Don't let depression and/or anxiety win.

 

[HenrySwanson]

I've had an awful week. My stepfather went on a rant that basically ended up with him leaving the family and my home. After 25 years being together and 24 of them married, it's over. One moment as I was rounding up trash and feeling nervous some time after the rant, I slipped and fell in the kitchen. My foot was hurting for about 3-5 days trying to recover. The plus to all of this is that I feel I am no longer under any sort of serious mental threat from my now ex-stepfather's presence. A lot of us just seemed happier and more fortunate after this.

Sometimes, one person's departure can help you feel better when you've been under any sort of mental threats. I tend to feel relieved while also remembering what good my ex-stepfather did. I feel a bit more relaxed now and perhaps not as depressed. Maybe this helps my productivity a bit more. Perhaps I can feel a bit more confident working on stuff to share online.

It was an awful week, but the weekend has been pretty well so far.


Don't let depression and/or anxiety win.

Sorry to hear that.

Hopefully it leads to something better.

 

[Chris30]

I've had an awful week. My stepfather went on a rant that basically ended up with him leaving the family and my home. After 25 years being together and 24 of them married, it's over. One moment as I was rounding up trash and feeling nervous some time after the rant, I slipped and fell in the kitchen. My foot was hurting for about 3-5 days trying to recover. The plus to all of this is that I feel I am no longer under any sort of serious mental threat from my now ex-stepfather's presence. A lot of us just seemed happier and more fortunate after this.

Sometimes, one person's departure can help you feel better when you've been under any sort of mental threats. I tend to feel relieved while also remembering what good my ex-stepfather did. I feel a bit more relaxed now and perhaps not as depressed. Maybe this helps my productivity a bit more. Perhaps I can feel a bit more confident working on stuff to share online.

It was an awful week, but the weekend has been pretty well so far.


Don't let depression and/or anxiety win.

I'm glad you're okay. It's bad dealing with family rants, I deal with it 75% of the time so you're not alone mate. My aunt/grandma always started trouble with us, complaining about spending too much of my grandpa's money when he said we could get as much as we needed for food, medicine, etc. I hope you recover from your injury soon. Threats are not a good safe thing in life. Let us know how you're doing later.

 

[JohnBM01]

Thanks for your concern, mates. My (I guess now) ex-stepfather completely moved out on Saturday before my mom and I did our weekly grocery shopping. The feelings expressed were of liberation and freedom. I even learned of a few things my ex-stepfather said about me; a lot of which a bit scathing. The room that was his bedroom is now quite empty. My mom was thinking maybe replacing the bed with a futon and maybe add in a treadmill (off of a wild idea I had). While it's surreal he's gone, it also feels liberating, and my mother feels happier than ever at his departure. I actually wanted to thank him for all he's done in the long time the two they've been together. However, considering the bipolar nature of him, I wasn't sure if he'd snap and get into a rage or take it calm. If that isn't a concerning thought, here's one aspect I am thankful didn't result in anything terrible- he had a gun. So if he really snapped and wanted to go insane, my mom and/or I could have been shot dead if he went on some rampage.

As for my right foot, I didn't injure it. So it wasn't like I had any bone damage or a sprained ankle. I started really feeling better by Friday of last week. There is still some residual pain, but I am pretty much recovered now.

Once again, thank you all for your concern. This is a place for us all to share and maybe get some support for depression and/or anxiety. Keep going- we're all in the same fight. And of course, don't let depression and/or anxiety win.

 

[phillgt2002]

I feel like I'm hitting a ceiling of my social capabilities. It's kind of at a point where I don't know if people are laughing with me or at me, and I don't feel completely connected. Maybe this is just a situation of being in a ******** corporate workplace lol, but the social interactions there have felt uncanny and not completely authentic, though not from me, but from others - everything just feels like ********.

What I'm figuring is that I'm a bit of a candid person in the way that I interact (I've been told that in the past), tending to be a bit more upfront and honest about things that are happening or being experienced. I feel like my personality is just cut in half. Not to mention, I'm taking medication and it impacts my emotionality, so I just feel numb to a lot of things.

Dealing with this, a breakup from a good and bad relationship, I'm trying to prepare myself for what comes next. I'm honestly scared right now.

Thanks for your concern, mates. My (I guess now) ex-stepfather completely moved out on Saturday before my mom and I did our weekly grocery shopping. The feelings expressed were of liberation and freedom. I even learned of a few things my ex-stepfather said about me; a lot of which a bit scathing. The room that was his bedroom is now quite empty. My mom was thinking maybe replacing the bed with a futon and maybe add in a treadmill (off of a wild idea I had). While it's surreal he's gone, it also feels liberating, and my mother feels happier than ever at his departure. I actually wanted to thank him for all he's done in the long time the two they've been together. However, considering the bipolar nature of him, I wasn't sure if he'd snap and get into a rage or take it calm. If that isn't a concerning thought, here's one aspect I am thankful didn't result in anything terrible- he had a gun. So if he really snapped and wanted to go insane, my mom and/or I could have been shot dead if he went on some rampage.

As for my right foot, I didn't injure it. So it wasn't like I had any bone damage or a sprained ankle. I started really feeling better by Friday of last week. There is still some residual pain, but I am pretty much recovered now.

Once again, thank you all for your concern. This is a place for us all to share and maybe get some support for depression and/or anxiety. Keep going- we're all in the same fight. And of course, don't let depression and/or anxiety win.

Hey man, I'm glad things are looking up for you and your mom, and I'm glad your foot is getting better. I had a falling out with my father, kind of similar in fashion, and it all happened in a time where I was trying to just finish my degree. The feeling of just liberation and freedom you mention is exactly what I felt, but also what you mentioned about an emptiness, a missing energy, I felt that as well.

 

[W3H5]

I feel like I'm hitting a ceiling of my social capabilities. It's kind of at a point where I don't know if people are laughing with me or at me, and I don't feel completely connected. Maybe this is just a situation of being in a ******** corporate workplace lol, but the social interactions there have felt uncanny and not completely authentic, though not from me, but from others - everything just feels like ********.

What I'm figuring is that I'm a bit of a candid person in the way that I interact (I've been told that in the past), tending to be a bit more upfront and honest about things that are happening or being experienced. I feel like my personality is just cut in half. Not to mention, I'm taking medication and it impacts my emotionality, so I just feel numb to a lot of things.

Dealing with this, a breakup from a good and bad relationship, I'm trying to prepare myself for what comes next. I'm honestly scared right now.

Many workplaces are a mix of people with different personality types.

All you can do is be yourself.

As a department head, I deal with all the bitching and complaints from my collective.

I, like yourself, am nothing but honest and speak the truth as blunt as a club to the head. It’s one of the only things that keeps me clear of being involved in the office politics, because if people are fake, deceptive or malicious, I’ll point it out to them to their face and call bollox on most of the hearsay.

In those situations, just do what you’re paid to do, invest in your job, not the social setting or others around you. Work hard, ignore the BS, and play hard.
Unless you’re in an industry that rewards extroverts, do your thing and be sure to do it with a smile.

Ignorance is bliss. I can’t say anything more helpful than that.

You don’t have to interact with colleagues further than general greetings and politeness. It’s your choice to be there, so make it your choice to enjoy it there beyond the negative interactions. Just go past it and do your thing.

 

[phillgt2002]

Many workplaces are a mix of people with different personality types.

All you can do is be yourself.

As a department head, I deal with all the bitching and complaints from my collective.

I, like yourself, am nothing but honest and speak the truth as blunt as a club to the head. It’s one of the only things that keeps me clear of being involved in the office politics, because if people are fake, deceptive or malicious, I’ll point it out to them to their face and call bollox on most of the hearsay.

In those situations, just do what you’re paid to do, invest in your job, not the social setting or others around you. Work hard, ignore the BS, and play hard.
Unless you’re in an industry that rewards extroverts, do your thing and be sure to do it with a smile.

Ignorance is bliss. I can’t say anything more helpful than that.

You don’t have to interact with colleagues further than general greetings and politeness. It’s your choice to be there, so make it your choice to enjoy it there beyond the negative interactions. Just go past it and do your thing.

That's what I've been grappling with, balancing myself and this place. I'm not involved in any form of office politics, and people honestly just kind of leave me alone. There's a few people there that like to pick at me, it's mainly the men there that are just bored. My job performance has been slipping because I've been so ****ing mentally exhausted from the work and what I've been dealing with in my relationship.

I like to care for the people in my vicinity, so that leads to me being a bit more vulnerable and forthcoming than needed. I'm going to take a bit of a step back and do a rebalancing and approach. I'm also working on my resume and cover letter so that I can begin looking for new work. I've lasted at this corporate environment much longer than the average person that comes in - the environment is notoriously awful, with negative reviews going from 2020 to now.

I really want to say thanks for the advice, I really appreciate it.

 

[Com Fox]

A few weeks ago, someone I thought as a friend and enjoyed hanging out with actually hates me and while he would often ask me about topics were both into, he hates it when I talk about it. Even worse is that its not some standard I cross the line and have to figure out how to improve myself, he has no objection with anyone else when it comes to these things, its only me he can't stand specifically.

To say it upped my anxiety on trusting people is an understatement. Do I even have any friends? Do they all wish I was never around and everyone just barely tolerates my presence when I am around. I'm starting to think the only difference between him and all my other friends is that he got caught and I am meant to just be myself and was a mistake to try out things and socialize as all I do is hurt people by just being around. Its been a bit of a pain to interact with people now ans trying to force myself into thinking its fine and its just an isolated incident but it isn't working.

I can't find a reason to leave my bed now unless its to play PS5 or go to work. Its a struggle to even talk to anyone about it given how I'm probably the Black Sheep in any group I'm apart of and its probably for the best if everyone never saw me again.

 

[Hollow]

A few weeks ago, someone I thought as a friend and enjoyed hanging out with actually hates me and while he would often ask me about topics were both into, he hates it when I talk about it. Even worse is that its not some standard I cross the line and have to figure out how to improve myself, he has no objection with anyone else when it comes to these things, its only me he can't stand specifically.

If you value this person and the connection have you considered talking to him about this? His behavior from what you wrote seems a bit contradicting. Hate is a strong word, so if you believe he hates you for no apparent reason, it really is a him problem and not a you problem.

I'm starting to think the only difference between him and all my other friends is that he got caught and I am meant to just be myself and was a mistake to try out things and socialize as all I do is hurt people by just being around.

You're not hurting people by just being around, but you simply cannot please everyone you interact with. Don’t let this person’s actions cloud your perception of yourself and your other friends unless there’s a valid reason to.

 

[Com Fox]

If you value this person and the connection have you considered talking to him about this? His behavior from what you wrote seems a bit contradicting. Hate is a strong word, so if you believe he hates you for no apparent reason, it really is a him problem and not a you problem.

You're not hurting people by just being around, but you simply cannot please everyone you interact with. Don’t let this person’s actions cloud your perception of yourself and your other friends unless there’s a valid reason to.

A few days after I posted that, I came to that realisation that if someone is getting upset and hating me over a take on a meer game/show they asked for, it never was a personal problem with me in the first place and was just getting caught in a toxic mindset. I feel a lot better with myself now and with everyone else.

 

[TumeK5]

So, I don't know how to frame this post exactly, but...I have anxiety of some sort. Not really depressed, although I wish I was doing better.

Let's just say, I feel like I don't belong. GTPlanet is the only forum I visit, otherwise it's just Discord and the few friends I have there. No IRL friends to connect with. I find it extremely tough to try and join new communities, and because of past experiences, dating back 10 years, I'm always hesitant to do so. Even if the community itself is nice and is welcoming, I might feel like I'm not a part of it.

I also don't have a favourite YouTuber/streamer to connect with either, so I'm ultimately just a lone wolf in every sense of the word. I am introverted in real life, but online it's naturally easier to connect and open up, but I've begun to shelter myself more and more. For me it's also imperative to have plenty in common to properly connect, which makes it all the more tougher (yes, I am on the spectrum).

Figured I would post here as a way to vent, didn't wanna keep it bottled up. I've been thinking about saying something, but I didn't feel the need to, until now. Oh, and despite me registering in 2015, I didn't actually start actively visiting until GT7 came out. I also haven't connected with anyone here, not really, but I should probably keep an eye on The Rumble Strip from here on.

That's about all I can think of (without writing a life story). Thanks for reading.

Spoiler: P.S.

I wouldn't mind racing in GT7, but that requires PS+, and due to generally only being able to support myself with the money I have, I'm not prepared to subscribe, especially when it would only be for one game. Thanks Sony for raising the prices, too! I have not looked into GTPlanet's offerings yet, as I'm not sure if there would be any league/community that would be the one for me. Even then, pay to play. 🤷‍♂️