Depression and Anxiety Thread

[Gomario JSP]

Friday afternoon my daughter and I met again. She had a medical exam past due and I asked the mother if I could take her to it, before I started on my new job which most likely will reduce my free/flexible time a lot.

After the exam we spent some quality time together and I can say I feel a little better now. Seeing her laughing and smiling again partially erased the last picture I had of her, when I told her about me leaving the house and I saw her crying.

I guess I'll sleep a bit better tonight. Let's see what tomorrow has in store.

That's gooed to hear buddy,

Those things in life are not the best parts, but in your case you gotta remember better days will come, and divorce def. doesn't have to mean a worse relationship with your daughter, as a stepdead i can only mention to leave the arguement with the (ex)-wife and don't ventilate with the kids, my stepdaughter hates her dead for a lot of reasons, but one of them is always talking **** about her mom.
Just be yourself and remember that a lot of "seperated" families have a stronger connection with the kids in the end.
And props for throwing that on here, respect.

I didn't even knew there was a thread about this but it's an interesting one for sure, and it seems "we" are not alone...
so from my side there is a "we" too...

Anxiety is a real thing and i personally learn it the hard way recently
42 now and managing multiple anxiety attacks a day due to a "trauma" from a heavy leukemia diagnose as a 9 year old kid.
now.... years later while i thought i was a real "nothing can hit me guy" it suddenly scares the cr*p out of me when i have physical sensations..... so the part of beeing scared for something i can relate too, and can be there day in day out.

Personnaly i went in therapy because it wasn't doable anymore, panick attacks are the worst feeling ever, now half way the 13 sessions i can find a little peace sometimes during attack that it just is a panick one.... no hard attack... no fainting.... it goes away...., the heaviness is sometimes a bit less so that's positive.
Tyou can't regulate when the occure, buissiness meeting....., barbershop..... home playing games, got them all..

So, for me.... and a ot of others..... stop wory about things that not here, don't think your less than someone else,
try to feel appriciated and you are stronger than you think.

Go get them ! 😁

​

 

[skydragon49]

@Lomic thanks for your words and sharing bits or your life.

Sharing custody doesn't seem it will be a problem. That's a topic we ended up in good terms.

I just feel... Sad... for losing time and for causing my kid the same. The more I hear about others' experiences the more I believe I still have the chance to be there for her and be present and have a good relationship, it's just scary because it's an unknown territory for me. Uncertainty in life can be scary.

@Gomario JSP thanks mate for the reply and for sharing. I'll take your action on seeking therapy as an example for myself. I definitely need it, as I mention before I had a crisis and a fall down years ago and I was taken by a friend to a physcologist. I regret big time not carrying on with it.

When I talked to my girl I just mentioned that things were "difficult" between me and the Mother and because of that we decided to leave in separated houses. Speaking ill of her Mother is a line I hope I won't cross. The divorce itself is a line I never thought we would cross and the results have been painful. Don't want to cross another line and face bad consequences, I'm afraid of what may happen.

Your post and your sharings were big, I respect your courage to open up about what you said.

 

[KK78]

Friday afternoon my daughter and I met again. She had a medical exam past due and I asked the mother if I could take her to it, before I started on my new job which most likely will reduce my free/flexible time a lot.

After the exam we spent some quality time together and I can say I feel a little better now. Seeing her laughing and smiling again partially erased the last picture I had of her, when I told her about me leaving the house and I saw her crying.

I guess I'll sleep a bit better tonight. Let's see what tomorrow has in store.

Time is the healer here my friend, I haven't experienced what you are going through as I don't have children but I have overcome decades of anxiety and PTSD and can share a few points that have really helped me;

• Everything passes, particularly anxiety, it often feels all consuming but always remember it will pass and you are far, far stronger than an anxious mind may tell you
• Seek professional help if you can, sooner rather than later, doing so can massively limit the length & depth of issues and provide a strong basis to move forward (and don't be afraid to change the professional if you don't feel it's helping after a few months but do give it time)
• Outside of professional help draw upon resources that resonate, there are many podcasts/books, Youtubers who offer a lot of insights
• Keep busy, in moderation, it can be tempting to withdraw when things are bad but I'd always advocate engaging with others or mindful activities- video games are great for this as are films, hobbies, sports and general exercise (I took up building Tamiya models and walking a lot amongst other things)
• As tempting as it can be don't overdo anything, moderation was key for me, particularly with alcohol

Keep reaching out, as others have said it's good to keep engaged and feel free to DM me anytime and we all hope to see you back on the TTs soon

Lee

 

[skydragon49]

@KK78 thanks for your advices. 🙏🏼

I hope I can put these bad days behind me soon.

 

[Jeje6410]

@skydragon49
I had your message this morning but being at work I didn't have time to reply. But I think the friends were good advice. I have divorced parents (they divorced when I was 13). It's a blow to our heads when your parents tell you this. My sister and I stayed with our mother who took care of us and gave us all her love. My father has more or less disappeared and it doesn't matter to us. My sister had to take sessions with a psychologist because she never really got over it. What I want to tell you, even if you are separated, your darling daughter, above all, always be there for her. Be always present in its evolution. This is sure to hurt her, it may take time for her to understand, but if you are there for her (in good times and bad) she will continue to love you just as much. There may be a long or short time when she will be sad (this is normal) but above all give her time to understand what is happening. I ask you not to let her down (like my father did with us). Show him that you are strong, that you are there, and that you still love him just as much.
we'll be here if you need to talk. Above all, take good care of yourself and your daughter. It's just a bad episode in your life to get over. You're going to make it for your daughter

Jérôme

 

[skydragon49]

@Jeje6410 thanks for your reply.

I feel sorry for how things happened for you and your sister. I am an only child from a divorced couple and I can relate to what you said, because after my parents split I can count on the fingers of one hand how many times I saw my father.

The daughter part of the situation scares me the most. Telling her I wasn't going home with her was the worst day of my life. I feel sad for her and I feel guilty for this. Never wanted my baby girl to experience what I lived. I feel guilty.

I hope I can always be there for her in a way our bond doesn't get weaker.

 

[Lomic]

The daughter part of the situation scares me the most. Telling her I wasn't going home with her was the worst day of my life. I feel sad for her and I feel guilty for this. Never wanted my baby girl to experience what I lived. I feel guilty.

I hope I can always be there for her in a way our bond doesn't get weaker.

Not sure how you ended up in this situation but it is clear that it is not something you wanted for her and I understand that you told her that.

Don't feel guilty, that's life and she'll understand.

If you are present for her, you'll do so much better than your father did, she won't blame you for the divorce (unless her mom messes with her mind but it seems that she has good will and the interest of your child in mind).

 

[Jeje6410]

@Jeje6410 thanks for your reply.

I feel sorry for how things happened for you and your sister. I am an only child from a divorced couple and I can relate to what you said, because after my parents split I can count on the fingers of one hand how many times I saw my father.

The daughter part of the situation scares me the most. Telling her I wasn't going home with her was the worst day of my life. I feel sad for her and I feel guilty for this. Never wanted my baby girl to experience what I lived. I feel guilty.

I hope I can always be there for her in a way our bond doesn't get weaker.

Above all, don't feel guilty. The more guilty you feel, the more unhappy you will be and the more unhappy your daughter will be too. If you show her all your love for her, she will be happy. Enjoy all the moments you spend with her. Tell yourself it could have been worse. In the sense that you could not have seen her every other week. Maybe the first few days will be hard for her and for you but if you do everything so that she is happy to see you every other week everything will be fine.

 

[skydragon49]

Today I'm gonna have my first therapy session.

Tomorrow I'm going to start working on a new job.

Mrs. and I have been talking about what happened and about family.

I wish and pray things can work out. I just want to get out of this sorrow and sadness cycle.

 

[Gomario JSP]

Today I'm gonna have my first therapy session.

Tomorrow I'm going to start working on a new job.

Mrs. and I have been talking about what happened and about family.

I wish and pray things can work out. I just want to get out of this sorrow and sadness cycle.

Therapy is such an overlooked item, I'm a real down to earth guy and didn't thought it could help me that much, clearly I was wrong 😁, good step forward! be honest there and trust the proces, it can give a lot back buddy!

Good luck on the new job, so new therapy, new job, new chapter in life, go get them!

🙏🙏

 

[Lomic]

Good luck on the new job, so new therapy, new job, new chapter in life, go get them!

And new girlfriend soon 😁

 

[mfetterelli]

Today I'm gonna have my first therapy session.

Tomorrow I'm going to start working on a new job.

Mrs. and I have been talking about what happened and about family.

I wish and pray things can work out. I just want to get out of this sorrow and sadness cycle.

Therapy will help as much as you allow it to, and be as rewarding as much as your commitment to it. Just keep going. That's my mantra on the track and in life lately. JKG. Keep going to... therapy, work, family, out, to the track, to the lobby, to chat, to messaging like this.

Just keep going, guys.

 

[mfetterelli]

Time is the healer here my friend, I haven't experienced what you are going through as I don't have children but I have overcome decades of anxiety and PTSD and can share a few points that have really helped me;

• Everything passes, particularly anxiety, it often feels all consuming but always remember it will pass and you are far, far stronger than an anxious mind may tell you
• Seek professional help if you can, sooner rather than later, doing so can massively limit the length & depth of issues and provide a strong basis to move forward (and don't be afraid to change the professional if you don't feel it's helping after a few months but do give it time)
• Outside of professional help draw upon resources that resonate, there are many podcasts/books, Youtubers who offer a lot of insights
• Keep busy, in moderation, it can be tempting to withdraw when things are bad but I'd always advocate engaging with others or mindful activities- video games are great for this as are films, hobbies, sports and general exercise (I took up building Tamiya models and walking a lot amongst other things)
• As tempting as it can be don't overdo anything, moderation was key for me, particularly with alcohol

Keep reaching out, as others have said it's good to keep engaged and feel free to DM me anytime and we all hope to see you back on the TTs soon

Lee

I've just gotten through my first year-and-a-half of CPTSD therapy/work and everything you suggest here is everything that has worked for me, when it works. Sometimes I just malfunction for a few minutes/hours/days/weeks, but there's always another race.

 

[skydragon49]

Therapy will help as much as you allow it to, and be as rewarding as much as your commitment to it. Just keep going. That's my mantra on the track and in life lately. JKG. Keep going to... therapy, work, family, out, to the track, to the lobby, to chat, to messaging like this.

Just keep going, guys.

Thank you for your words.

I'll keep them in mind. 🙏🏼