I got it working. For other peoples reference, I had to flash to 2.0.0.7 I believe it was on the vnm shifter. Then had to calibrate it. I flashed it down to this level before but I think something else was screwing it up or I didnt flash it correctly. I had to give quite a few attempts at calibrating it before it operated like I wanted.
My set up is CSL DD, Heusinkveld handbrake, TM TLCM, vnm v1 shifter, and TM TSS.
Some further notes. I cant use the TSS and the VNM without significant lag on the VNM shifter. Im going to try an USB switcher so I can leave both hooked up and swap them on the fly with a button push.
I had to be in fanatec mode for all this to work. I have two wheels, one with a clubsport hub and 2 button modules. I had to buy an regular fanatec wheel for it to register the share/select into fanatec mode properly.
Now everything works relatively properly.