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C - 1
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AValterri: "Hey Lewis, any clue what 7 down is? 11 letters, starts with a v... Clue is 'happens seemingly every race now'"
BLewis: "Skyline"
Valterri "Delorean"
C"So you put twenty quid down on Max hitting someone and I put ten on Sebastian. Do we call it a draw or double the pot for the next race?"
DValtteri: Can I please win a race this year for gods sake?
E"If you're in front at Austin and don't give me your position, we won't put any fresh straw down in your stable."
FLewis is faster than you. Can you confirm you understood this message.
G"To paraphrase Murray Walker, to finish first, first you have to finish second..."
HLewis: So once I am world champion again Valtteri; would you like to finish first a couple of times before we start next season?
Valtteri: Of course that would be nice; you're the boss Lewis.
AKimi Raikkoneeeooowwww
BOf course it's a good career move! Instead of flying to work as I did at Ferrari, I just walk to the Sauber office in my bathrobe, and I'm there.
Your bathrobe?
It saves me time when I change into my racing suit.
CKimi: "I don't know who you are, or why I'm sitting in an office, but I'm fairly confident that I am not currently in a position to sell you a 2007 Volvo S60 D5, I think all of us have come to the wrong place today"
DKimi: "Look, I already told you. I know what I'm doing"
EKimi: Sauber are a good team; you know they got their last driver snatched up by Ferrari, so that's something to look forward to!
FWelcome to Raikkonen Driver Management, how may I help you?
G"How well do you know your way around the Austin circuit, Kimi?"
HKimi at job interview:
I am the Alpha Romeo.
You know those overtakes Seb tried and screwed up, I Räickon I could have done them Sauber.
I always say: To finish first, you first have to be Finnish!
So I see no reason why you shouldn't hire me.
ISo almost nobody ever goes for scissors straight off because its not a natural hand shape so that is why you should always go for paper first because most of the time you will win or draw and then if you draw you should go for paper again because most people will change from their first choice and most of the time that will mean changing to stone because really scissors is a conscious choice and people will not think to do that until the third round. Bwoah.
JKimi has to tell an intruder not to come in without knocking, especially when he has the scissors and lube all ready together.
AI thought Fernando was retiring at the
end of the year...
B"For god's sake, why did McLaren have to go and change the colour of their car? Last years car would've matched the colour of our overalls perfectly, this years... Not at all. Completely ruined the whole shot..."
CYa know, in the job description they mentioned I might get to handle F1 cars, not pieces of junk...
DDid he really say "It's all yours" before he gave you the wheel?
I'm not sure. I'd rather have the deck chair.
EDavid Attenborough - "And here, we see the McLaren, in it's natural habitat"
FMarshal: Do you have an eBay account?
GMarshall 1: "One careless owner, recent new engine, gearbox, turbo and electrics. Some trackdays but never raced"
HRight marshal: Look, it saved LeClerc's life in Belgium.
Left marshal: I don't care. Halo is still hideous.
IMarshall 1: "Are you trying to sell it?"
Marshall 2: *slaps top of car* "This bad boy can fit so much crushed dreams"
JMarshall:
This car should be painted in a colour that represents its competitiveness - Lemon Yellow, or Sack Brown!
A"...and the next question is fielded by a Mr JP Montoya.
B"Some people say I'm a bad example for kids, but I'd argue the opposite. I'm doing two days of community service, how could I be a bad example to anyone?"
C“...And he looked at me like this so of course I had to punch him.”
DI would sincerely like to apologize for shoving Esteban after the race. It was unbecoming.
Next time, I will simply Verslappen him.
EReporter - "Did she catch you on the counter?" Max - "It wasn't me"
FI would have slapped him, but he has the right to unslap himself.
G"I can't be charged as an adult so what's the problem?"
HYeah, you want some too? Come on then, I'll take on all of you ****ing slags.
IVerstappen: "Next time I won't shove him, but I'll bring a fish this big to slap him.
JMax: So I said to Esteban - see you not on the track in 2019, you pink mudder fudder!