Funny/Strange News Stories

[TexRex]

This song is the first thing that comes to mind.



Man, I miss 120 Minutes.

 

[DG_Silva]

Shoot at someone and injure two people, then act surprised at the police when you're arrested

 

[Joey D]

Egypt tells Elon Musk its pyramids were not built by aliens

Thank goodness we got that cleared up.

 

[Northstar]

Egypt tells Elon Musk its pyramids were not built by aliens

Thank goodness we got that cleared up.

Well duh, everyone knows they were built to secure the 4 element stones (and Leeloo) that make up the universes most dangerous weapon.

Obviously Elon needs to go back to school.

 

[TexRex]

If they had taken time to double check, they would have realized Gilliam’s SUV was not the stolen motorcycle.

The Sunday incident began about 10:55 a.m. after Gilliam drove through an intersection with a license-plate reader, which automatically scans the plates of passing vehicles and runs the numbers against a database of stolen or wanted vehicles. If the number matches one in the database, the machine takes a picture of the passing car.

The reader, however, does not record the state where the license plate was issued or what type of plate it is. The license plate number on Gilliam’s car matched the number of a motorcycle reported stolen, though the motorcycle had Montana plates, Wilson said.

The license-plate number and the photo of Gilliam’s car were then sent to officers, who failed to look up the plate number in the National Crime Information Center to double check the information. If they had taken time to double check, they would have realized Gilliam’s SUV was not the stolen motorcycle.

“There was a mistake there,” Wilson said. “I would have expected that they should have followed training and verified that prior to the stop.”

The officers then pulled next to the parked SUV, drew their guns and ordered everyone out of the car. Gilliam and children followed officers’ orders. The four children laid face-down on the pavement for at least two minutes while at least five officers watched. Officers handcuffed the 12-year-old and the 17-year-old.

Gilliam repeatedly asked the officers to check her license and registration, she said, which they declined to do.

Allowing the children to remain on the ground was a second mistake, Wilson said. It is department policy to treat interactions with reported stolen vehicles as high-risk, but officers should have changed their tactics as soon as they realized something was wrong, Wilson said.

“We’re hoping that an officer is going to make the determination and say, “Hmm, something’s wrong here — I’m not going to put this little kid on the ground,’ ” Wilson said. “Unfortunately that didn’t happen.”

 

[UKMikey]

If they had taken time to double check, they would have realized Gilliam’s SUV was not the stolen motorcycle.

This story isn't funny or strange, regrettably... reply moved to George Floyd thread.

 

[Crash]

Austrian police defend decision to fine man after 'provocative' fart

 

[TexRex]

This story isn't funny or strange, regrettably...

You're probably right. I was looking at it from the "they pulled the SUV over because the motorcycle was reported stolen" angle.

 

[TenEightyOne]

Boar steals naked man's laptop.

Spoiler

Warning: Contains pictures of a nude man chasing a boar, just as you'd expect.

BBC

 

[UKMikey]

If only she had captured video. And set the whole thing to the Benny Hill theme tune.

 

[gnomefromnome]

The wild animals are on a roll.
https://www.ktuu.com/2020/08/08/pizza-delivery-car-destroyed-by-black-bear-in-juneau/

ANCHORAGE, Alaska (KTUU) - A pizza delivery driver woke up to loud noises that he thought were from his neighbors. Instead, it was a black bear looking for a free meal....there was no pizza in the car, but the bear could still smell the scent.

 

[UKMikey]

Man has botched rhinoplasty; suffers 3-month erection. Unilad.

Spoiler: obligatory pun section

I bet his experience hardened him towards further medical work. It sounds like those surgeons really stiffed him. Doesn't sound like he had a swell time. Luckily he didn't have to resort to panhandling in order to pay them off.

 

[TexRex]

Career Complainer: Conservative Christian Crone Condemns Cascade® Commercial
(language warning)



"Definitely after meatloaf."

I assure you no child is watching that ad and learning about sex for the first time. If they’re old enough to understand the double meaning, they’re old enough to understand it’s a joke. Also, since when do kids watch TV ads at all…? They’ve moved on, Monica. There are better ways to consume content.

 

[UKMikey]

Career Complainer: Conservative Christian Crone Condemns Cascade® Commercial

Cripes! Cancel culture, Caren!

 

[EngieDiesel]

You know why you should log out of websites if your family shares a computer with you?

Because if you don't, your kid will buy a monster truck off Ebay.

 

[gnomefromnome]

you all were waiting for this one

 

[EngieDiesel]

A JetBlue flight claims that they passed "a guy in a jetpack", some 3,000 feet in the air, while on approach at LAX. That's too high for (almost all) jetpacks to operate, and certainly someone faffing around that close to the airport in a direct flight path would have been noticed as it's extremely not legal. But at the same time, no pilot who wants to keep their job is going to just make something up like that.

So what was it? Mis-identified drone? Secret government project? This guy?

 

[UKMikey]

If this doesn't qualify for this thread, I'm not sure what would....


Akon to build new city in Senegal with own currency called AKoin

Construction is scheduled to commence next year according to AP.

https://eu.usatoday.com/story/enter...on-city-senegal-real-life-wakanda/3450779001/

 

[ROAD_DOGG33J]

Marijuana drops from the sky

https://nypost.com/2020/09/03/watch-high-flying-drone-drop-bags-of-marijuana-over-israel/

A flying drone dropped baggies of weed onto a town square in Israel Thursday as activists said it’s high time the drug be legalized, according to a report.

Dozens of pot packets rained down from the sky in Tel Aviv — sending folks running into the street to snag them and leading to two arrests.

Two men who allegedly operated the weed-wielding quadcopter were likely affiliated with a pro-legalization group that promised unleash the gift of ganja.

“The time has come,” the group, Green Drone, said on its web messaging channel. “Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it’s the Green Drone sending you free cannabis from the skies.”

The bags fluttered down near Rabin Square, a popular site for street protests and political rallies, and video shows passers-by hustling through street traffic to snatch them off the ground.

Police said they suspected the packets were filled with “a dangerous drug” and provided photos of what appeared to be marijuana.

Medical use of cannabis is allowed in Israel but recreational use is illegal.

 

[PeterJB]

Hair salon told to change its job advertisement as use of the world "happy" is discriminatory to unhappy people:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-gloucestershire-54009032

 

[Northstar]

Hair salon told to change its job advertisement as use of the world "happy" is discriminatory to unhappy people:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-gloucestershire-54009032

That seems like the setup for a Monty Python sketch.

 

[UKMikey]

That seems like the setup for a Monty Python sketch.

Sounds like a disaffected employee rather than national policy judging by this hasty retraction.

A DWP spokesperson said: "We mistakenly advised a customer to amend a job advert but have since offered to repost the original copy and apologised for the error."

 

[ROAD_DOGG33J]

That's Happy People Privilege

 

[JKgo]

...Not funny, but definitely bizarre.

A musical "piece" scheduled to end in the year 2640 has a chord change, a first in seven years. BBC.

Apparently, the "composition" belongs to a bloke named John Cage, who according to the article, is famed (or should I say infamous) for the composition called 4' 33'', which is four minutes and 33 seconds of silence...

 

[TenEightyOne]

...Not funny, but definitely bizarre.

A musical "piece" scheduled to end in the year 2640 has a chord change, a first in seven years. BBC.

It's a fascinating piece, but then I'm quite a fan of Cage.

John Cage, who according to the article, is famed (or should I say infamous) for the composition called 4' 33'', which is four minutes and 33 seconds of silence...

Always a Top Fact that the news trots out but which is wrong. The whole point is that it isn't silence.

EDIT: I see the BBC have obviously had emails from people like me... they've made an edit:

The composer is arguably most famous for 4'33".
The three-movement composition from 1952 is for any combination of instruments, but instructs performers not to play them. Listeners instead hear the sound of the surrounding environment during the four minutes and 33 seconds the work lasts.

 

[JKgo]

It's a fascinating piece, but then I'm quite a fan of Cage.



Always a Top Fact that the news trots out but which is wrong. The whole point is that it isn't silence.

EDIT: I see the BBC have obviously had emails from people like me... they've made an edit:

...I see. Never heard of the man, so from the article I assumed he was a bit of an... eccentric personality.

I still think he was.

 

[gnomefromnome]

Dine outside in a personal igloo

ANCHORAGE, Alaska (KTUU) - Looking to dine out in a casual atmosphere?

The Inlet PubHouse near downtown Anchorage has created a mini community of igloos for private dining on their lawn.

 

[kolio]

62-year-old python at St. Louis Zoo lays eggs — apparently without male help

 

[TenEightyOne]

62-year-old python at St. Louis Zoo lays eggs — apparently without male help

I'm in Europe so can't access that link... but isn't it known that some types of python can reproduce assexually?

 

[kolio]

I'm in Europe so can't access that link... but isn't it known that some types of python can reproduce assexually?

ARTICLE TEXT

A 62-year-old ball python at the St. Louis Zoo laid seven eggs this summer, and keepers have questions.

First of all, she hasn’t been with a male ball python in at least two decades. And second, ball pythons typically begin laying eggs at around 4 to 6 years old, and they stop long before their 60s.

“She’d definitely be the oldest snake we know of in history,” to lay eggs, said Mark Wanner, a zoological manager of herpetology at the zoo. In fact, she’s the oldest snake ever documented in a zoo.

The python laid the eggs July 23.

Three of the eggs remain in an incubator, in a different area of the Charles H. Hoessle Herpetarium from the snake. Two of the eggs were culled for genetic sampling, and snakes inside two other eggs did not survive.

The genetic sampling will show whether they were reproduced sexually or asexually, called facultative parthenogenesis. The snakes are also known to store sperm for delayed fertilization.

It’s unusual but not rare for ball pythons to reproduce asexually. Komodo dragons do so, and so do several species of rattlesnakes, said Wanner.

The female snake doesn’t have a name, but she does have a number: 361003. She’s one of two ball pythons at the zoo’s herpetarium, and the other is a male (number 389054) who is about 31 years old.

The snakes live in the herpetarium but aren’t on view to the public. Number 361003 came to the zoo in 1961 from a private owner and was estimated to be about 3 years old at the time.

This isn’t 361003’s first reproductive rodeo. She laid a clutch of eggs in 2009, but they didn’t survive. She also laid another clutch of eggs in 1990, but at that time, the keepers didn’t separate the snakes when they cleaned cages, so she could have hooked up with a male snake in a bucket.

If these eggs survive, they’d hatch in about a month. “That would be pretty incredible,” said Wanner.